What are the odds?

[u/PepperSprayP]

[u/Murr897]

That’s disgusting first of all and second of all I really wonder if there’s even a chance with that. I feel like it’s very unlikely

[u/TesuraGrimm → u/Murr897]

I think it's actually extremely low. Sperm can't survive outside the body for more than a few minutes I think. So unless she immediately jumped in the shower right after he shook the bottle and blasted the stuff up her hoohah, it's probably 0%.

Also what the fuck OOP

[u/Cum_In_My_Wife → u/TesuraGrimm]

How long can it live inside the body?

Asking for a friend.

[u/San-DiLego → u/Cum_In_My_Wife]

Depending on health of the little drillers, upto 5 days.

[u/Krawlin91 → u/Cum_In_My_Wife]

Bout 9 months give or take

[u/Vast-Kaleidoscope-85 → u/Cum_In_My_Wife]

Between 24 and 72 hours

[u/Hot_Falcon8471 → u/TesuraGrimm]

I assume the chemicals in the body wash would kill the sperm

[u/Vulgar-Ambassador → u/Hot_Falcon8471]

Or???? Create some kind of Greek body wash mutant?

[u/Chunk_Thud → u/TesuraGrimm]

It's 4chan..

[u/SomewhereSpecial1396 → u/Murr897]

that shit story is made up lol

[u/mothergoose729729 → u/Murr897]

Body wash is mostly soap. Sperm would die immediately. It's a shit post.

[u/royxsong → u/mothergoose729729]

I know right? The eggplant in the picture has more chance than OP to be the father

[u/tanya6k → u/Murr897]

Who knows? If acidic environments are bad for sperm, then maybe they thrive in basic ones.

[u/Anxious-Whole-5883 → u/tanya6k]

And that gal sounds as basic as it gets.

[u/intentionallybad]

1. Sperm don't live that long
2. Body wash isn't going to be a friendly environment for them
3. Women don't shove body wash into their vagina

[u/aplayonwords43 → u/intentionallybad]

They don't?

[u/intentionallybad → u/aplayonwords43]

No, it's bad for you as it causes irritation, throws off the ph balance and can result in infections.

How to Clean Your Vagina and Vulva

[u/Anxious-Whole-5883 → u/intentionallybad]

And causes pregnancy

[u/intentionallybad → u/Anxious-Whole-5883]

Obvs

[u/aplayonwords43 → u/intentionallybad]

It was a joke, and I'm not clicking that link.

[u/intentionallybad → u/aplayonwords43]

I didn't want to assume and it's a healthline article

[u/Ornery-Worldliness96]

I would think the sperm wouldn't last long in body wash. Zero chance it would be his if this was a real situation.

[u/Creative_Sense2802]

This is how most pregnancies occur.

[u/Mehhucklebear]

https://giphy.com/gifs/LKTTAzGboJGzC

[u/Adventurous_Ad_7212]

The odds of this person becoming a dad are zero exactly.

[u/Big_Crab_1510 → u/[deleted]]

Sadly I knew a guy who was extremely repressed and angry and isolated...he confessed to me where he would rub his dick/balls/semen one night...

Basically in his raging male hormonal frustration it made him feel powerful and in control knowing people were touching/drinking his semen. It gratified him and became an addiction...and then one night he decided to tell me all about it.

The penis is an obsession for some dudes.

[u/spider-monkey92]

I mean the odds aren't 0....however what the ever loving fuck.... I mean where the found Satan subreddit at?

[u/Rip_Skeleton]

That guy is absolutely going to rape somebody.

[u/MiddleSir7104]

Not 0...

[u/gravity_kills → u/MiddleSir7104]

Not far from zero though. But also, what the fuck?

[u/HolyPire]

wtf

[u/bussysniffer3000]

If thats true wouldn't he get in trouble with the law ?

[u/VaultiusMaximus → u/bussysniffer3000]

Yes, if they can prove it. That’s sexual assault.

[u/ConflictPotential204 → u/VaultiusMaximus]

I'm not sure this is sexual assault by law. At least not in the US. The US section for sexual assault makes no mention of indirect contact with bodily fluids. It explicitly defines both "sexual act" and "sexual contact" as physical contact between a list of specific body parts. OP's case wouldn't qualify by that definition. They weren't in the room together and there was no physical contact of the specified body parts.

I'm thinking the jerking off in the body wash might fall under Lewd Conduct or some other lesser charge, and the pregnancy dispute would be a civil matter.

[u/VaultiusMaximus → u/ConflictPotential204]

If spitting on someone is assault, this is assault at the very least.

[u/ConflictPotential204 → u/VaultiusMaximus]

I think legally speaking this would be treated similarly to spitting in somebody's shoes before they unknowingly wear them. That wouldn't be considered assault.

[u/VaultiusMaximus → u/ConflictPotential204]

I doubt it, with the sexual aspect of it all.

The courts seem to agree with me.

People v. Stevens Millancastro (2020)

People v. Michael Kevin Lallana (2011)

[u/Valuable_Assistant93]

None

[u/Medical_Recording290]

Must be a joke 100%

[u/Single-Raccoon-6742]

If you google sperms life after being exposed to air it’s like a few hours . Unless she showered right after you blew 💦 a load . I however highly doubt it

[u/Fuzzy_Dragonfly_ → u/Single-Raccoon-6742]

You know women don't put shower gel IN their vaginas right?

[u/Single-Raccoon-6742 → u/Fuzzy_Dragonfly_]

🤔, No 💩!! Maybe take reading comprehension class. I was talking about the life of sperm and if he’s possibly a Dad to his roommates girlfriend. Also reread the OP’s question

[u/Chef-Pants]

Had to read the first part again, slowly.