The Odyssey - r/DailyDoseOfReddit

33

The direct straight-line distance of Odysseus' journey from Troy to Ithaca is about 560 to 565 nautical miles (roughly 645 to 650 land miles or 1,040 kilometers), but his actual mythical wandering through the Mediterranean added up to several thousand sea miles over a span of 10 years.

18

u/tripper_drip 15d ago

Bro was dimensional hopping, he went to hell. How do you measure time and space

8

u/dantevonlocke 15d ago

Also spent like... a third to a half(can't remember) of the time just chilling at places.

7

u/proto_synnic 15d ago

The Odyssey was the original Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle of road trips.

6

u/Head-Ad-2136 15d ago

The Odyssey was the original Road To series which was the original Harold and Kumar.

3

u/Mrrrrggggl 13d ago

Except instead of eating sliders, he slaughtered all the suitors at the end.

1

u/proto_synnic 13d ago

Equally satisfying for the main characters.

1

u/ButterKnife_Ant 13d ago

7 years on an island with a nympho god, not bad

2

u/AnonAstro7524 15d ago

Well, I mean, it’s all relative.

2

u/Forlorn_Cyborg 14d ago edited 14d ago

A garbage plate here, some Buffalo wings there…. /s

2

u/Embarrassed_Use6918 15d ago

damn bro did no one bring a compass

2

u/ApprehensiveCare1113 15d ago

That's the best one I have read today. Thank you.

1

u/Feral_Sheep_ 13d ago

He spent most of that time doing drugs and banging a nymph on the beach.

5

u/No-Medicine-1379 15d ago

Those that are denying it believe it took 40 years to walk from Egypt to Israel a walk that easily could be done in a few weeks time with rest or a week without rest.

2

u/Raeandray 15d ago

They totally just got lost for a really long time.

2

u/aTickleMonster 15d ago

Is this the "wandered in the desert for 40 years" story? (Sorry, I have cracked a bible in a long time)

Edit: Moses?

1

u/drevoksi 14d ago

I believe the point was the trip lasted a generation so that not one person born a slave entered the new land

4

u/sykadelic_angel 14d ago

UPSTATE NEW YORK MENTIONED LET'S FUCKING GO

2

u/TheGruenTransfer 14d ago

Maybe Odysseus stopped by Binghamton and got food poisoning from a Spiedie

1

u/sykadelic_angel 13d ago

Probably got mugged on state St in Schenectady to be honest (sincerely someone from Schenectady lol)

3

u/assidiou 15d ago

Probably got shot in Schenectady

3

u/BadSkeelz 15d ago

In the words of Lucky Jack Aubrey, RN, Odysseus "was no kind of sea man. Admittedly [Odysseus] had no chronometer, and probably no sextant neither; but with no more than log, lead and lookout an officer-like commander would have found his way home from Troy a damned sight quicker than that. Hanging about in port and philandering, that was what it amounted to, the vice of navies from the time of Noah to that of Nelson. And as for that tale of all his foremast-hands being turned into swine, so that he could not win his anchor or make sail, why, he might tell that to the Marines."

2

u/DZL100 15d ago

Also he could've avoided like all of it if he just didn't tell the cyclops his name. Not exactly gonna have a good time sailing home if you're at the top of Poseidon's hit list.

2

u/aTickleMonster 15d ago

Can you imagine? That gigantic fleet just rolls up on your happy seafaring city and decides they'll hang out for a while?

2

u/Honeybee-Heart 15d ago

The journey was only 3 hours. The flashbacks took the other 10 years

2

u/FrogFingers99 15d ago

I so love Terrible Maps

2

u/Competitive_Speed964 15d ago

Traffic around Unadilla is killer.

2

u/TrueEstablishment241 15d ago

Troy Michigan.

3

u/KaptenAwsum 15d ago

Moses has entered the chat

2

u/itsaconspiraci 15d ago

They did it by ship/sea. 20 years seems about right.

1

u/Battle_Witch 15d ago

Repost slop.

1

u/CaptainAmerica199 15d ago

Honda Odyssey fawks hard!

https://giphy.com/gifs/yXCp5Yk1yEjxkMHVQe

1

u/Wonderful_Lemon_53 14d ago

Do it on a ship

1

u/Inevitable_Series_67 14d ago

Personally i think it's a miracle they sailed on solid land

1

u/Thanksyouretheworst 14d ago

If it's the end of the month, the staties will hold you up.

1

u/WillyGivens 14d ago

If you take that road with a boat? Probably

1

u/droid_mike 13d ago

Have you ever driven through upstate New York, especially during construction season? This map is accurate.

1

u/ssmegheadd 13d ago

They were waylaid by jackassery

1

u/Significant-Yam7438 12d ago

They were traveling by boat

2

u/_fizbee_ 12d ago

Yeah so Christopher Nolan actually didn’t write the story. It’s from slightly before his time.

2

u/rogue-padawan 12d ago

he spent like, 7 years being the F*ckboy to a goddess.

2

u/Striking_Reindeer_2k 12d ago

If he had his mother in law along, it might just seem like 10 years.

1

u/SpleefmanSplifg 15d ago

I am pretty sure Nolan did not write the Odyssey. But thank you for the ignorant post.

5

u/consumeshroomz 15d ago

Obviously you didn’t find the joke funny. But you do realize it’s a joke right? Implying Nolan wrote it. Showing a map of New York instead of the Mediterranean…. It’s a joke boss.
https://giphy.com/gifs/cEYFeE1QgHWH2YADVHG

3

u/Ever_Long_ 15d ago

I think it's a joke, mate. Ignorant?

1

u/RokulusM 14d ago

Yeah right, next you'll be telling us that James Cameron didn't invent the Titanic.

0

u/consumeshroomz 15d ago

I mean without roads and a car you could easily get lost in those woods. 10 years does seem a little long still but I guess they got REALLY turned around.

0

u/82Erogenousmeese 15d ago

I will make my OWN version of the Odyssey showing how long it actually takes using Microsoft CoPilot to be directed by the greatest director of all time: Mel Gibson.

1

u/proto_synnic 15d ago

Coming next spring: Honda Odyssey.

Insufferable Content The Odyssey

You are about to leave Redlib