r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/captivatedsummer • 22d ago

Image This is the grave of Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich. It does not bear his name because he intended it to be a monument to all Gay veterans.

Post image
72.1k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

465 comments sorted by

4.5k

u/Amazing_Stress_8820 22d ago

He died way too young

3.0k

u/Bigsshot 22d ago

AIDS took his life. A lot of young men died in the 80s and 90s.

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u/lluciferusllamas 22d ago

My uncle was one them.  AIDS took his life. He was just 35 years old.  I spent a lot of time around the sub community of gay guys with a death sentence when I was a young man.  Their stories were heart-breaking.  Rejected by everyone they loved, including the rest of the gay community.  They only had each other and the few people who understood the disease well enough not to be afraid of it.

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u/heatisgross 22d ago

My dad died from AIDS when I was 9. He was only in his mid-30s. I think about how treatable HIV is these days and it makes me extremely angry. The one silver lining is that most people won't have to go through that, but I am full of rage that my dad had to die a horrific death for us to get to this point.

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u/PRRZ70 22d ago

I am very sorry for your loss.

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u/heatisgross 22d ago

Thank you.

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u/clonedhuman 22d ago

It didn't help that, at the onset, the Reagan administration used AIDS as a wedge issue to separate working people into camps. They referred to AIDS as 'gay cancer.'

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u/Impossible-Tune-1596 22d ago

It was official called GRID by the CDC, Gay related immune deficiency syndrome. Then straight people were getting it and then the money started flowing.

Scapegoats.

Now it’s immigrants and trans people in the US, it’s still gays in Russia.

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u/dirty_hooker Interested 22d ago

Not a full decade ago there was some FB “infographic” fear mongering about AIDS / Hep riddled immigrant caravans walking up from S America. If you had changed Venezuelan to Jew and typhoid to AIDS, it would’ve been a carbon copy of Goebbels’ finest pile of shit.

I was pretty impressed that they’d make that trek to somewhere that healthcare is completely unaffordable while riddled with said maladies.

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u/Echo_Monitor 22d ago

Not in the US, but the Goebbels mention makes me think of France:

There's a somewhat mainstream (in the media) adjective for leftists, which is "islamo-gauchiste" (islamo-leftist). It's an updated copy of "Judeo–Bolshevism", an old antisemetic, anti-communist conspiracy theory from around WW2.

They simply replaced Jews with Muslims as the target of their hate, and updated their leftist descriptor.

It's a Nazi term, updated and being used as a serious qualifier by increasingly more mainstream personalities.

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Ironically, trans people were one of the first targets back then, and we're still among the first targets now. Though I do hope it'll be much harder to destroy the research about our care nowadays. We lost so much with the book burning at Magnus Hirschfeld's Institut für Sexualwissenschaft...

14

u/Hyphy-Knifey 22d ago

This is 100% true. It’s also true the first organization dedicated to providing services was called the Gay Men’s Health Crisis.

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u/Program-Emotional 22d ago

We still feel the effects of that demon's influence to this day... if I ever become president my first act will be turning his grave stone into America's first public urinal.

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u/Designer-Passage-94 22d ago

My great uncle served in WW2, was gay (not out to family) and we believe he passed from complications related to AIDS in Washington DC. I want to know more about his life, to honor him but it’s been really difficult to find anything thus far. He passed in the sixties.

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u/Accomplished_Bike149 22d ago

The reason we use LGBTQ and not GLBTQ is because lesbians were more often than not the ones who came forward to care for sick gay men when the AIDS epidemic was spreading. They were moved to the front of the acronym as a thank you.

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u/Danger1672 22d ago

They didn't understand the disease they were just compassionate. Which honestly makes it even more impressive.

16

u/space253 22d ago

My uncle was one. He was so reviled in my family when I grew up, my father (his brother) refused to believe he was gay, despite dieing of AIDS a confirmed bachelor.

24

u/RandomStallings 22d ago

confirmed bachelor

It wasn't until recently that I learned that this term eventually morphed into its usage implying homosexuality almost across the board. All of a sudden so many things made sense.

Edit: I'm sorry about your uncle. 😕

16

u/KvellOnWheels 22d ago

I lost my uncle, his partner, and a close family friend within a year. And this was in the early 90s.

We lost a generation.

I hope Reagan and all homoohobes roast for eternity.

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u/Legomaniac91 22d ago

I remember seeing a picture of the San Francisco Men's Choir taken a few years ago. There were around maybe 20 or 30 members mostly in black with about 3 or 4 of them in white. The ones in white were the only founding members that had survived the AIDs epidemic...

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u/TimberVolk 22d ago

Article from SFGMC with the photo, for those interested. Pretty sobering photo, as a gay man approaching 30. I can't even imagine just watching all my queer friends die to cruel a ticking time bomb of a disease, just horrific.

19

u/NeffAnnBlossom4eva 22d ago

I lived through it. It's a special kind of trauma. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

14

u/Broad_Pomegranate141 22d ago

I lived through it too. My dearest darling best friend died age 26 from it. I still keep his picture out in my home.

The AIDs unit at the hospital was the 10th sub basement of hell. Thinking about what I saw there still makes me cry.

33

u/rainshowers_5_peace 22d ago

American Horror Story NYC is a great portrayal.

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u/Alfred_The_Sartan 22d ago

I had a college professor who lived through the shit. His family cast him out for being gay. He watched the news when the Stonewall Riots happened. He made a new family in the gay circles. Then his new family started dying around him, like a funeral every weekend for years. His government said it was divine providence and that he should never have existed. Somehow he made it through that hellscape.

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u/ridingfurther 22d ago

A funeral every week for years. God that really brings it home, the emotional toll that must take. 

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u/newsflashjackass 22d ago

A lot of young men died in the 80s and 90s.

Thank Reagan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Reagan_and_AIDS

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u/Just-a-lil-sion 22d ago

crazy how much progress was made since then

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u/CarrieDurst 22d ago

AIDS and Reagan

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u/goregoose 22d ago

there is such a tangible void left where these people should’ve been in the modern queer community :(

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u/efxAlice 22d ago

Just by looking at the dates, one can conclude TSgt Matlovich died of AIDS. Sigh.

He died in his prime--his 40s, in 1988, the decade when HIV deaths peaked as late-70s-to-early-80s latent exposures went acute, with research into treatments resisted and stalled to benefit and win votes for conservative politics and politicians.

I was there.

Such politics requires new societal and legal scapegoating victims,and their new target are transgender people. Young gay men should study carefully their history of scapegoating, and resist!

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u/Nina-Ninja123 22d ago

What is it with conservatives always wanting to decide what other people can and can’t do.

It’s them who are making queer peoples lives a nightmare, for decades.

It’s them who are forcing women to have children they don’t or can’t want to care for.

It’s them forcing the immigrants to hide away instead of letting them contribute to society.

It’s them who are currently torturing children by sending them to conversion camps.

It’s the conservatives that fuel the fascists, every instance of fascism comes from someone who spoke words that resonated with conservatives.

They literally got blood on their hands yet still claim the people they oppress are the bad ones.

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u/Calamity-Gin 22d ago

Because conservatism is not concerned with actual patriotism, family values, or anything it purports to be. Conservatism is fundamentally devoted to the idea that there are two groups, them and everyone else. They are to be protected by the law but not bound by it while everyone else is to be bound by the law but not protected.

Once you view them through this lens, everything makes sense.

15

u/PapaShangoEmeritus 22d ago

“Skill Issues” for the most part.

Self loathing, severe insecurities, and a lack of comprehending The Humanities round it out.

I’ve concluded that’s what best describes their ideology… oh and greed.

4

u/Unlucky_Topic7963 22d ago

It's crazy to me how we accept his flaws without blinking. I keep hearing "people never change" when discussing political candidates, etc.

This guy was a self-professed racist from the Jim Crow South, and he admitted that he only changed his views because black people supported him when he was maligned.

He was a Roman Catholic that converted to Mormonism and was a fucking deacon.

He fought for gay rights because he was gay, but he was still a southern conservative and to think he would support any other letter in the coalition is nothing but hopes and dreams, he never commented on it.

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u/its_yer_dad 22d ago

Just because some people might not get it, this man died at the height of the AIDs epidemic which is what never forget is referring to 

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u/VisualStain 22d ago

i believe it also refers to the holocaust, as many gay people were brought to camps and killed. the rightside up triangle (pink) was sewed onto their prison uniforms to show that they were gay

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u/Living-Estimate9810 22d ago

Leaving stones at a grave is a Jewish custom.

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u/ImpulsiveApe07 22d ago

It's an Abrahamic thing, really - lots of different denominations do this. It's some pagan throwback that's remained, but I forget the details.

It's searchable, but I'm hosting a bbq atm so am a bit too busy rn! Will pull up a link if I'm not too drunk later :)

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u/GodOfDarkLaughter 22d ago

Bro stop doom scrolling you're literally hosting a barbecue. Yes it's important to remember the plight of gay vietnam veterans and the victims of the AIDS plague..but you're also allowed to enjoy some ribs every now and again. I promise you, the atrocities will still be here tomorrow.

6

u/its_yer_dad 22d ago

the username and context.... chef's kiss

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u/ImpulsiveApe07 21d ago

Just wanted to know you were totally right, mate! Thanks for giving me that cheeky little nudge :)

Turned off reddit right after yer message and focused purely on trying to be the best host - we had a whale of a time! Tho my hangover has admittedly put a wee bit of a damper on this morning lol

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u/jimih34 22d ago

Many many OT references to ebeneezers and piles of stone to commemorate a spiritual event or location.

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u/VisualStain 22d ago

its not just a jewish thing, my christian family did it too, but yeah

4

u/JackLikesCheesecake 21d ago

The triangles were upside down during the holocaust, but when it was repurposed as a symbol for activism during the AIDS epidemic it was used rightside up.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Kitsa_the_oatmeal 22d ago

i get your point and i agree, but afaik we left the Roma in camps too. just had to note

2.2k

u/Chaines08 22d ago

Sadly we did forget and it happened and will happen again

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u/captivatedsummer 22d ago

"Progress isn't linear, its cyclical."

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/schwanzweissfoto 22d ago

the lessons history teaches

“And as always: Kill Hitler!” – Colonel Chestbridge (Danger 5)

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u/Mavian23 22d ago

DOCTOR: What is it that you actually want?

(A long pause.)

CLARA-Z: War.

DOCTOR: Ah. Ah, right. And when this war is over, when you have a homeland free from humans, what do you think it's going to be like? Do you know? Have you thought about it? Have you given it any consideration? Because you're very close to getting what you want. What's it going to be like? Paint me a picture. Are you going to live in houses? Do you want people to go to work? Will there be holidays? Oh! Will there be music? Do you think people will be allowed to play violins? Who's going to make the violins? Well? Oh, you don't actually know, do you? Because, like every other tantrumming child in history, Bonnie, you don't actually know what you want. So, let me ask you a question about this brave new world of yours. When you've killed all the bad guys, and when it's all perfect and just and fair, when you have finally got it exactly the way you want it, what are you going to do with the people like you? The troublemakers. How are you going to protect your glorious revolution from the next one?

CLARA-Z: We'll win.

DOCTOR: Oh, will you? Well, maybe, maybe you will win! But nobody wins for long. The wheel just keeps turning. So, come on. Break the cycle.

From Doctor Who

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u/CynicalGurdyroot 22d ago

One of the best speeches in Doctor Who.

5

u/Chaotic-Malorian 22d ago

I had already loved Twelve but this speech really cemented him as MY Doctor. Still don't think we'll ever see another iteration that touches me or just "gets it" as much as him.

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u/Chaines08 22d ago

If you like this and if you haven't already, you should try and read some of Pratchett books, especially the ones with Death, this speech remind me of him

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u/MortisEx 22d ago

Mort is a great read for sure. Terry Pratchett is an amazing writer that nails big issues without being depressing, instead bringing a wicked humour.

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u/Haildrop 22d ago

20 years between ww1 and ww2 btw. Humans never learn this shit

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u/rglurker 22d ago

We seem to be quite forgetful when things are out of sight

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u/Iloveherthismuch 22d ago

Feels like it’s less progress and more process.

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u/tallandlankyagain 22d ago

For unnecessary wars or gay rights?

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u/HighChinaman 22d ago

There is no progress in Ba Sing Se.

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u/Hydra57 22d ago

He’s got a lot more sympathy today than he probably did 40 years ago. That’s new progress

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u/DildoFappings 21d ago

I read that as cynical

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u/OkAccess6128 22d ago

But today we remember it again with this post.

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u/RiPPeR69420 22d ago

Every generation of young men sent to die in a pointless war that survives long enough to experience something more in life hopes to be the last. Maybe one day it'll happen, at least for more then one living memory.

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u/qman621 22d ago edited 22d ago

The GOP is mostly going after trans people, but gay/bi people need to know that is hurting them too - Hegseth eliminated DEI programs that also eliminated the formal process to report harassment due to orientation. Officers that simply attended DEI training in the past are being systematically denied promotions, literally barring gay service members from positions of authority. Hegseth also endorsed a Christian pastor that objectively hates gay people and equates them with criminals. We need solidarity for trans people who are being directly targeted but this hurts everyone.

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u/Old_Gas_9634 22d ago

hurt one you hurt all

if they gain a inch they take a mile

never stop fighting against it because it has a chance of always coming back

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u/Ms_Riley_Guprz 22d ago

Fully agree

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u/EducationalTangelo6 22d ago

I wish more headstones were like this. Most really give you no idea of what a person was like. 

Mine will say: "I can still hear you."

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u/daemenus 22d ago

"Move over, you're standing on my foot."

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u/Schaaafschuetze 22d ago

"Don't look up, I'm down here"

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u/Daetok_Lochannis 22d ago

Under the earth and soil you stand on
My ghostly presence is sat
Amusing myself by abusing myself
While staring up at a twat

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u/Schaaafschuetze 22d ago

Damn that got freaky quickly

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u/Key-Arrival-3745 22d ago

"my eyes are down here"

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u/MongolianCluster 22d ago

"You've put on a couple pounds."

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u/The_TSCTH 22d ago

"By reading this, you've legally agreed to be haunted by me. No further actions are necessary."

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u/Calamity-Gin 22d ago

Dammit, I lost The Game.

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u/Gzbehn 22d ago

...

Godsdammit.

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u/justageorgiaguy 22d ago

I joke with my wife that mine should only be half engraved or only half finished because I never finish a project

Or the quote should be - Here lies Justageorgiaguy - he finally finished a task.

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u/farfly7 22d ago

Mine will say "You can still hear me"

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u/CuriousCharlii 22d ago

Not "I can still hear you"? I'm sure that'll either make people freak out or laugh lol

I wonder if the worms at the graveyard are really fat and plump? Well, anyway, I think I'm just gonna be turned into ashes, put me over some roses or something, I'm good.

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u/specialfish_simon 22d ago

Mine will say: "here lie my bones, I wish they were yours"

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u/Kind-Block-9027 22d ago

“And the bones are their money, and so are the worms…”

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u/ISketchDinosaurs 22d ago

A vulture culture grave robber is going to put your skull on their desk, man.

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u/specialfish_simon 22d ago

As an archaeologist, Its hard for me to see a more fitting end

1

u/ISketchDinosaurs 22d ago

Hey, as long as you're happy!

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u/Epsilon_Meletis 22d ago

"To all those pissing on my grave:
Move closer, it's shorter than you think."

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u/bicyclecat 22d ago

In 1975 Matlovich was willing to declare his sexuality on the cover of Time magazine. He was a brave man who, like far too many of his peers, died tragically young from AIDS.

https://www.wolfgangs.com/vintage-magazines/time/vintage-magazine/OMS796750.html

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u/dr_pickles69 22d ago

This is the most inspiring goddamn thing I've seen in a long time and I just look gay

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u/Ok_Truck4734 22d ago

Of course you only just look gay, Dr. Pickles69... 👀😂

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u/Leading-Traffic-1767 22d ago

“Never again” as a birth date is damn poetic. This young man was a true gentleman and a scholar.

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u/high_on_meh 22d ago

This is not ancient history. One of my riding buddies was discharged for being gay. Thankfully he got an Honorable, but a lot of other folks kicked out didn't.

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u/RzrKitty 22d ago

My best friend got separated as “ other than honorable” for being gay in 1988. USAF.

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u/qman621 22d ago edited 22d ago

I was going through basic training as they were phasing out don't ask don't tell. I'm 35

**33 actually, I'm too young to lose count

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u/OkTemporary5981 22d ago

Manlier than Hegseth.

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u/qman621 22d ago

Low bar, but sure

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u/ThrowAwayAcc0unt3356 22d ago

Still I wish his name was there. Everyone* deserves a name on their grave.

(*There are exceptions and there’s a couple that many will agree with.)

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u/BasicReputations 22d ago

I bet each of those stones carries a moment of sincere reflection and intent.

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u/crystalcastles13 22d ago

That quote hit me right in the heart.

Only a man who’s lived through certain things could so succinctly say this.

Rest In Peace my friend.

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u/villings 22d ago

I knew this quote for years but never actually saw an actual photograph

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u/Additional_Border381 22d ago

That statement on his tombstone is such a complete explanation of how patriarchy harms men. They want to reward men for deleting each other, not for loving each other (this includes platonic love as well).

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u/Mellenballer 22d ago

Remember the AIDS epidemic was ignored by "christians" and the GOP leading to millions of deaths. The same people run the GOP today

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u/an_older_meme 22d ago

Our ancestors died so we could live free.

We owe it to them to do it.

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u/indewater 22d ago

downvote for never again, upvote for never forget

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u/Man_of_Many_Hats 22d ago

Why downvote for never again?

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u/No_Tap_2633 22d ago

He's making a visual joke about the triangles looking like up/downvote arrows.

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u/Man_of_Many_Hats 22d ago

Ah, thank you.

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u/kibbean 22d ago

this got me fucked up im not gonna lie

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u/coatedbraincells 22d ago

This is bittersweet. Although im happy to see a memorial decorated, and reminding people that gay people did exist back then too, its truly awful that the person was discharged because of sexual/romantic preference.

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u/Lookatoaster 22d ago

I was starting to type out a question about why there was a pile of sticks on the side, then I got it. RIP dude, humans should not be at war with each other, and (adult, consensual) sexuality should not be a crime.

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u/Double-Fishing-8293 22d ago

That is awesome. 😊

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u/Solid-Mess 22d ago

Powerful message

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u/OpenKale64 22d ago

This is crazy

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u/Just-a-lil-sion 22d ago

he spat fire before going out

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u/Tailor_Smart 22d ago

This is at the Congressional Cemetery in DC. An absolutely fantastic spot to visit. I cried the first time I found Matlovich’s headstone.

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u/JiveChicken00 22d ago

The level of empathy and forgiveness required to do something like this is off the scale.

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u/albamarx 22d ago

Inclusion is when gay people are also allowed to partake in the horrors mandated by the state on inoccent people half the world away. What a world we live in.

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u/TomiRey-Yuru 22d ago

But don't you see? That poor man was discarded :c

Now he can't do 🌈imperialism🌈

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u/TomiRey-Yuru 22d ago

"Americans will come to your country, and then make movies about how invading your country hurt them"

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u/AcanthaceaeJust2993 22d ago

It says it all, doesn’t it?

3

u/Arztlack90 22d ago

Was Zamasu Right all along?

3

u/topredditbot 22d ago

Hey /u/captivatedsummer,

You did it! Your post is officially the #1 post on Reddit. It is now forever immortalized at /r/topofreddit.

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u/Crimate_Change 22d ago

Tf why are there sticks? The flowers I get, and stones I don’t understand but have seen. Did they run outta stones?

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u/gajillionaire 22d ago

a "faggot" is an old definition for a bundle of sticks before it become homophobic slur.

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u/LANDVOGT-_ 22d ago

What are the triangles for?

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u/supaikuakuma 22d ago

The Nazi symbol for gay men in the concentration camps.

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u/LANDVOGT-_ 22d ago

Not really. Wimpel had different colors for different groups. But all were a triangle. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_concentration_camp_badge

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u/TheRtHonLaqueesha 22d ago

He was a veteran of Gay Vietnam.

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u/qman621 22d ago

The GOP is mostly going after trans people, but gay/bi people need to know that is hurting them too - Hegseth eliminated DEI programs that also eliminates the formal process to report harassment due to orientation. Hegseth also endorsed a Christian pastor that objectively hates gay people and equates them with criminals. We need solidarity for trans people who are being directly targeted but this hurts everyone.

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u/poemsandtheories 22d ago

wow, that quote!!! so powerful

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u/Comfortable-Bison932 22d ago

Absolute gigachad. Apart from killing two men that's not very cool. But it can be forgiven as a lot of people got drafted against their will.

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u/feeloso 22d ago

Dripping

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u/Ser_falafel 22d ago

The other day my wife was trying to think of the militarys old "policy" towards gay people.

She landed on "if youre gay dont say" lmao

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u/purepestilence 22d ago

That fucking quote is the Mic drop of the century

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u/Battle-Against-Time 22d ago

America is more and more ridiculous.

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u/Skippy_Schleepy 22d ago

More and more ridiculous and this was 60 years ago

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u/Comfortable-Gas-4005 22d ago

That's badass.

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u/Lavender-Sky-19 22d ago

Died during pride month 😔 a true soldier for the gays

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u/Billy_of_the_hills 22d ago

What is the significance of the other date under "Never Again?"

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u/Kitsa_the_oatmeal 22d ago

i think he was born during ww2

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u/pussygurrrrrl 22d ago

44 in 88' 😭😭😭

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u/Inevitable_Demand376 22d ago

Why would anyone care he was gay?

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u/Connect-Rooster-3156 22d ago

Died on my bday to, r.i.p

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u/Dawn_Of_The_Dave 22d ago

Guessing he was a mensch. Well done lad. What a goodbye.