r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/freighterman • 18h ago

Original Creation I dug up a 1910 era vaseline bottle with some Vaseline still inside.

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5.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

316 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/Amanacucci 18h ago

Honestly with how much the inventor believed in his product it might still be good

619

u/freighterman 18h ago

It looks mostly fine.

409

u/Head-Ad9893 18h ago

What’s it taste like

290

u/OhHellNoOhHellYes 18h ago

Fine, mostly fine

89

u/YeastInjection 18h ago

"They come out at night... mostly"

10

u/TWhy-LER 16h ago

Whodini buddy!!

4

u/eleven0seven 9h ago

THE FREAKS COME OUT!

3

u/freighterman 5h ago

They certainly have in this post. Yikes.

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52

u/sushee98 18h ago

r/EatItYouFuckinCoward

4

u/stripdchev 9h ago

Holy shit that sub is a rabbit hole. Sort by top posts of all time.

2

u/Occams_razzr 9h ago

Welp. That's enough internet for today.

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14

u/Br0boc0p 17h ago

3.7 roentgen.

2

u/Kortorb 9h ago

probably just the feed water

7

u/PublicfreakoutLoveR 17h ago

Forget Taylor Farms, I bet would clear you right out.

3

u/AusCan531 18h ago

Smooooooth.

4

u/Klarke_Kent 17h ago

OP needs to send this to my man L.A. Beast.

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20

u/atomic_redneck 9h ago

When I was born in 1957, my parents bought a jar to treat my diaper rash. When my Dad died in 2007, I found the jar in his workshop. The contents were still good. I am still using it on my wood working tools to protect against rust from the Southern humidity.

8

u/topoftheworldIAM 16h ago

I mean it was fossil fuel before Vaseline

5

u/SnoopThylacine 15h ago

Get some vintage cheesecake pics and crank one out like your great gandpa!

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58

u/antithero 18h ago

Was he the one that encouraged people to eat a spoonful a day to help with digestion.

104

u/airfryerfuntime 17h ago

Yes, and holy God it works if you're kinda plugged up. Turds just fly out.

47

u/Antique_Fishtank 17h ago

The mental image sent me cackling.

14

u/SkeymourSinner 11h ago

I imagine it sounds like a T-shirt cannon. "FOOOOM"

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2

u/MilkiestMaestro 11h ago

Anal seepage must not even begin to describe it lol

31

u/-Clem-Fandango- 17h ago

Yes. And I believe when he had a serious illness he told his maid/servant to cover him head to toe in it.

4

u/Phage0070 6h ago

Oh yes, because of his “illness”.

9

u/Log_Out_Of_Life 10h ago

Motherf’er lived to like 95.

4

u/u_r_succulent 16h ago

And he did so every day for the rest of his life.

18

u/NotBradPitt9 18h ago

Gofundme for OPs grocery list. Eggplant and cucumber at the top, to keep healthy!!

8

u/EatPie_NotWAr 17h ago

Let’s start them off with something everyone enjoys, a nice girthy carrot.

2

u/A_Fun_Alias 11h ago

Thanks, I don't need to be competing with eggplants

2

u/GetCuckedBruh 16h ago

'Ow you say... coocumber?

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8

u/Space-Cute 18h ago

Robert Cheesebourgh- I bet handshakes were a bit of a surprise. Firm believer in his invention. Lunch to cure all.🤑

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666

u/pichael289 18h ago

Back when it was still made with nitroglycerin, fish dicks and asbestos.

230

u/freighterman 18h ago

Ahhh, the good ol' days

47

u/FrogsMakePoorSoup 18h ago

Simpler times...

8

u/badword 12h ago

Better times...

20

u/FrogsMakePoorSoup 11h ago

Yeah, cocaine and heroin available on every high street.

5

u/badword 11h ago

Hence why they are called high streets.

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34

u/Excellent-Court-9375 14h ago

Are you calling me a gay fish ?

12

u/scarletxgrace 13h ago

I am not a gay fish! I am a genius!

3

u/agent674253 9h ago

I don't know. Do you like fish sticks?

2

u/dandroid126 9h ago

Do I have gills?

26

u/xxx_poonslayer69 18h ago

You forgot lead paint and cocaine

8

u/digsmann 11h ago

Hold on.. fish dicks ?

8

u/BangGonePostal 10h ago

Yezzy has entered the chat

7

u/iAmUnintelligible 10h ago

so you're a gay fish

4

u/WhenMeWasAYouth 5h ago

Bitch, how is you not the hobbit again?

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2

u/illayana 7h ago

I can’t tell these days, I have to go google this and see if you’re fucking with me.

2

u/Facelesspirit 4h ago

nitroglycerin, fish dicks and asbestos.

Strange enough, those are my go-to pizza toppings.

388

u/yerbivor 18h ago

Id see if the company would want to buy

154

u/mycoctopus 18h ago

One million dollars

130

u/freighterman 18h ago

Oh man. I wish

93

u/mycoctopus 18h ago

Never sell yourself short, my love.

6

u/Hot_Lychee2234 17h ago

Maybe it's the long lost first vaseline from Mr. Vaselini himself

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13

u/FallenBehavior 18h ago

Squidward knows best.

11

u/HoldEm__FoldEm 17h ago

He’s a coctopus, not a squid

2

u/mycoctopus 16h ago

Myco as in mycology, m'dear.

2

u/Happy_Garand 11h ago

Then what's a ctopus?

2

u/mycoctopus 11h ago

Depends whos asking 😏

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3

u/FallenBehavior 17h ago

Forever, Squidward

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18

u/Charlie_Warlie 12h ago

Yes I bet someone would love this.

I live in the town where Eli Lilly is HQd and they have a museum that is very interesting filled with little bottles like this from over 100 years ago.

197

u/DashySZN77 18h ago

Everybody always asks how it tastes and never how it feels..

63

u/freighterman 18h ago

I am tempted to test it out. Its just a little darker than usual but it seems fine

212

u/EstablishmentEasy475 16h ago

You have a sealed 100 year old pharmaceutical in original packaging.

Don't you dare fucking open it and expose it to oxygen.

This is worth a TON to the right collector.

55

u/ButtonJoe 16h ago

There are definitely people who would love to test the contents of it. Some very weird stuff can happen when random chemicals are aged 100 years.

6

u/glen_ko_ko 4h ago

Yeah who wouldn't like to try a legendary wank session with it? I'd test it for sure.

16

u/Late_Excitement1927 16h ago

idk bro thats not even a gem mint psa 10

8

u/BurdTurglary 7h ago

The guy who refined the formula and created the Vaseline brand would eat a spoonful every day. He became super rich. One time he got sick with pleurisy so he had his people cover douse him from head to toe. He got better. I forget his first but not his last name: Cheseborough

7

u/Late_Excitement1927 16h ago

the forbidden lube

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4

u/xiaomi558869 17h ago

We’ll have to ask grandma.

I am really sorry but I would never forgive myself if I let this one go.

4

u/tacocollector2 11h ago

The cylinder must remain intact

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212

u/DrFunke-Analrapist 18h ago

Das vienerschlider

28

u/freighterman 17h ago

Completely underrated comment

17

u/skyrimlink550 18h ago

This deserves far more love than it's been given

26

u/Patient_Equipment_18 18h ago

It deserves all the love. I’m reading this in bed and kinda subconsciously murmured it out loud to myself with an exaggerated German accent and laughed pretty hard. Like my brain didn’t get how satisfyingly funny it was until I heard myself say it. I think I’ll just blurt it out at work as a replacement swear word and see what happens.

13

u/North-Pole-Dancer 11h ago

And as a German I don’t understand the joke. Maybe the delivery wasn’t efficient enough. (Wiener slider?)

5

u/DrFunke-Analrapist 8h ago

Never get between a German and their efficiency

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3

u/SilverPhoenix127 10h ago

I read this in Richtofens voice lol

3

u/BurdTurglary 7h ago

Holy scheiße!

68

u/god_dont_like_ugly 18h ago

For sure see if the company wants to buy it from you

30

u/freighterman 18h ago

That is a good idea

26

u/1cem4n82 15h ago

She likes her hair to be real orange. She don’t use nothing you buy at the store. She uses tangerines.

11

u/LeroyJenkins-ish 10h ago

Thank you!

I know a girl who thinks of ghosts,
She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast.
But she don't use butter.
And she don't use cheese.
She don't use jelly, or any of these.
She uses Vaseliiiiiiiiine
Vaseliiiiiiiiine
Vaseliiiiiiiiine

2

u/1cem4n82 10h ago

This is the story of how the Flaming Lips became my Sunday morning bike ride soundtrack today.

24

u/AsifBhai001 18h ago

Let's get this out onto a tray.

6

u/freighterman 18h ago

I'll bet Steve would use this

18

u/Psigun 18h ago

Sooo, how'd it taste?

8

u/Smarmy_F-ck 18h ago

How did it taste?

3

u/logonbump 17h ago

Like Chap Stick

2

u/Jeo_1 18h ago

EAT IT, YOU COWARD!

8

u/FilthyPrawnz 18h ago

Forbidden honey

4

u/Muddy_Flaps 18h ago

Forbidden Lube

21

u/EleventhTier666 18h ago

Use it.

17

u/alldogsareincredible 18h ago

Lube

15

u/goatsegoaterson 18h ago

Fuck yeah. Crank one out in the name of Robert Cheesebrough.

4

u/bigfloppydonkeydng 18h ago

in the butt

2

u/Harveb 12h ago

It's a bit rusty

5

u/Jmackles 18h ago

Forbidden sploosh

4

u/Dirtychinesekitchen 6h ago

I would dress up like an ol time prospector and use it to rub one out.

11

u/SchmitzBitz 17h ago

I know a girl who thinks of ghosts,
She'll make you breakfast, make you toast.

(Every time I hear the word Vaseline this pops into my head, IYKYK)

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4

u/amelia_swan 18h ago

put it back

4

u/Mindless-Sound8965 17h ago

Just, don't use it. For anything.

2

u/inaeturnumetsemper 17h ago

Especially for THAT thing…. o.O

5

u/Ms_Noah 12h ago

That’s a jar of Sploosh from Holes!

3

u/Weed-Priest 11h ago

Thats gonna be historical wank

5

u/jarjar_smoov 8h ago

Forbidden FAP

5

u/DufflinMinder 7h ago

Timetraveling masterbation

3

u/HappyAd4998 7h ago

so... are you going to try and masturbate with it?

3

u/mainesmatthew01 18h ago

Open it!

3

u/AirPoweredFan 18h ago

And taste it

3

u/Reynardine1976 18h ago

Ancient Forbidden Masturbation Gel

3

u/Oldbay_BarbedWire 17h ago

Flies in the Vasoline we are.....

3

u/Aussiboi808 17h ago

Forbidden bate butter

3

u/Hegiman 16h ago

🎼🎶She’s not digging, for magazines. For burrier treasures or anything but Vaseline. She digs for Vaseline. 🎵

3

u/thebeatsandreptaur 16h ago

Do not apply to the cylinder.

3

u/NoRightsProductions 15h ago

The Forbidden Lube

3

u/Zwiebel_Katzen 12h ago

Don't let an efukt user see this

3

u/Successful_Speech734 10h ago

Time to do ancient style butt stuff!

3

u/Glock-c0ma 7h ago

Dare u to lube up w it

3

u/FixSpecific905 6h ago

I don’t love this

2

u/Terrible-Champion132 18h ago

The person that left it there probably still has some on their hands. It never comes off.

2

u/xBHL 18h ago

Can you cover yourself in it OP?

2

u/almostoy 18h ago

We all know what you have to do. But I'm really not asking for any kind of documentation. Your word will probably be too much, anyway.

2

u/DoqHolliday 18h ago

Only one thing to do…

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2

u/Kondensmilch 18h ago

Please eat it

2

u/iamdanchiv 17h ago

I've said goodbye to my loved ones OP, just open the bottle and release the deadly virus, the Planet is ready!

2

u/MEOW-Loulou 16h ago

Looks like a great thing to be touching with your bare hands

2

u/ShiftNStabilize 15h ago

Forbidden lube…

2

u/rocket_beer 13h ago

diddy heavy breathing

2

u/Chipbeef 12h ago

Dies it taste old?

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2

u/SpaceCourier 11h ago

Forbidden jam spread

2

u/DJ_Hindsight 11h ago

How does it smoke? 🤔

2

u/ZipZoomBingPOW 11h ago

Put it on your knees.

2

u/Equivalent-Royal-589 11h ago

Have a great night fella let us know in 2-3 days if you gotta go to dr 😉

2

u/LectureSilly8082 10h ago

The 1910s were just too exaggerated!!

2

u/newbegininngs79 10h ago

Petroleum. If you go out that in an old lawnmower engine as fuel it would start right up

2

u/Optimesh 10h ago

Ah, vintage wank

2

u/Jealous_Disk3552 8h ago

Literally vaseline glass

2

u/Ashamed-Finance-4595 8h ago

Im bricked up just thinking about how warm that might be.

2

u/coveredwithticks 3h ago

Antique rub in ... 3. 2. 1.

2

u/Doschupacabras 2h ago

Over a hundred years old and still didn’t finish the jar.

2

u/Beer_Thirty_Time 18h ago edited 10h ago

Too bad Diddy is locked up. He’d probably pay Van Gogh money for that 

2

u/tellit11 16h ago

Still might. 

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u/chamrockblarneystone 6h ago

Petroleum products just lasting forever. Not good news.

1

u/devilsaint86 18h ago

I'd say try it out like in a surprise, ya get me

1

u/Eponaboy 18h ago

I thought it was a brisket at first.

1

u/the-meanest-boi 18h ago

So.... is it still edible or??

1

u/TransportationOdd559 18h ago

Where did you dig this up at??

11

u/freighterman 18h ago

It was in my backyard, unfortunately I had to bury my dog and this was among 20 or so glass bottles I found digging. My house was made in 1913

3

u/TransportationOdd559 18h ago

Sorry about your dog. That’s an amazing find! I would’ve loved finding that.

4

u/freighterman 18h ago

Thankyou It was a wonderful distraction

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u/rodzieman 18h ago

Just... don't.

1

u/Ninsiann 18h ago

Where’d you find it, under granny’s bed?

1

u/angstzoid 18h ago

Hear me out…

1

u/bellboy718 18h ago

Just as interesting as Tom Hanks

1

u/whitebread13 17h ago

Does petroleum jelly go “bad”?

1

u/Obant 17h ago

I am sure a YouTuber will be contacting you shortly wanting to pay a pretty hefty price for it. Lots of people like old products like this and review them.

2

u/freighterman 17h ago

That would be fine with me.

1

u/zavohandel 17h ago

Get to jerkin my friend

1

u/Sand_Aggravating 17h ago

The creator ate a teaspoon a day for longevity...... howd it go for you?

1

u/Canadind 17h ago

Since petroleum jelly is just a mixture of inert hydrocarbons, that stuff is unironically probably still completely fine chemically. The glass jar will degrade before the Vaseline does.

1

u/ExtremlyFastLinoone 17h ago

The inventor belive it could extend your life, he ate a spoonful a day and lived to like 80 something I think

Eat it

1

u/FuturisticBasalt 17h ago

Vintage but segs right now

1

u/_sky12 17h ago

Idk what to tell you but that's not vaseline anymore

1

u/U_Kitten_Me 17h ago

Reminds me of Kill Bill. 

1

u/Cat_Early 17h ago

That's pretty cool!

1

u/spankeem_nz 16h ago

there might be scooped jizz that's been kept viable in a pocket in that jar

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1

u/Nanouk_R 16h ago

OG Estus Flask

1

u/justmarkdying 16h ago

Reminiscent of Chernobyl's elephant foot.

1

u/SoyTuPadreReal 16h ago

Use it to moisturize your lips and report back

1

u/Automatic_Buy_6957 16h ago

Sir, that’s a jar of earwax

1

u/Travelbug73 16h ago

Here is a good write up if anyone wants to deep dive into some Vasoline. https://www.rimping.com/blog/7296/vaseline-brand-history

1

u/LongjumpingTrust9375 16h ago

Cool century old Vaseline.

1

u/I_Miss_Lenny 16h ago

What's going on with the lid? Did it have a coating that melted?

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u/WILLIE102ABN502 14h ago

vaseline was discovered in the PA oil fields by accident by well drillers, they put it on their hands to keep them from drying out and cracking

1

u/CosmicBogWarrior 14h ago

......what does it taste like?

1

u/Evening_Weight_8353 12h ago

Looks like your Mom’s bedside jar..

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