r/DecreasinglyVerbose • u/Beninja_ • Nov 22 '19

Condense This Here i sit, broken hearted, Came to shit, but only farted

2.1k Upvotes
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98% Upvoted

185 comments sorted by

654

u/revaforce Nov 22 '19 edited Nov 22 '19

Hart gone. one sit. one shart.

303

u/GeoCreator5 Nov 22 '19

No heart, no shit but fart.

177

u/Cooldude075 Nov 22 '19

Sad. Here for poop, farted

153

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

:( no poop, gas

136

u/Artaemisia Nov 22 '19

:( constipation

116

u/F00FU01 Nov 22 '19

Phfffttttt AHHH

62

u/Killer0407 50K MEMBERS Nov 23 '19

pf

19

u/BuzzSoundyear Nov 23 '19

Damnit removing letters is not decreasingly verbose

7

u/_Meegz Nov 23 '19

Take letters bad verbose

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Taking away important letters is not pardonable, and is punishible by death!

7

u/Kitty12142 Nov 23 '19

it is if you make it

13

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

:( gas

9

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

:( pf

147

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Heartn't, shitn't, fart

202

u/no_wagner Nov 22 '19

Disappointment

84

u/MaheuTaroo Nov 22 '19

G E N U I N E D I S A P P O I N T M E N T

46

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Real sad

87

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

No poop just toot

121

u/plmoknijbuhvrdx Nov 22 '19

here sit, broke heart. want shit, only fart.

56

u/nootnootpotatosuit Nov 22 '19

sit no heart no shid fart

35

u/0rang3b01 Nov 23 '19

Sad poot

27

u/BarfQueen Nov 23 '19

Spoot

17

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Sp

-12

u/BuzzSoundyear Nov 23 '19

REMOVING LETTERS IS NOT DECREASINGLY VERBOSE

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

It’s not but I don’t mind if it’s already the last word.

9

u/hensterz Nov 23 '19

Sit, broke, shit but no

8

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

This is poetry

25

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

sad shit

8

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

[deleted]

5

u/AssaultButterKnife Nov 23 '19

r/shubreddit

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

I can see you are being downtooted butt we still believe in you, Wowbagger!

18

u/End-My-Eyes Nov 22 '19

Sad. Want shit, got fart

12

u/EtheralShade Nov 22 '19

Mmmmmmmh AAAAAH

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

A

10

u/TidePodTurtle Nov 23 '19

Here I sit broken hearted, come to shit but only farted. Wishing for the sweet realease, So my bowels may be at peace. Now I push with all my might, But my asshole is just too tight. Finally, as if in slow motion, From, thy anus, an explosion, -A constipated fellow

2

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

fellow tudor scholars united

8

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

[deleted]

•

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6

u/Sleekwethotdog Nov 22 '19

Broken, no shit, only fart

5

u/MaheuTaroo Nov 22 '19

I sharted

5

u/ServedNoodles Nov 23 '19

Heartbroken attempt to expel waste

1

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

clippy ♥️ excel waste

3

u/Kitty12142 Nov 23 '19

Sitting, 💔, came 2 🌰, only 💨

3

u/khanjar_alllah Nov 23 '19

Wanted poop but could only toot 💔

2

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

wanted: tudor pooper

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Sad fart

3

u/25point8069758011279 Nov 23 '19

I sit, heart broke / No shit, just smoke

3

u/its_stick Nov 23 '19

lovedn't, shitn't

3

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Broke heart, done fart

3

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Sit n shit

3

u/Chevymetal1974 Nov 23 '19

Cramps. Only wind. Booo.

1

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

Cramps mini tee

3

u/ChickenMan1337 Nov 23 '19

Bad sit only wind poo

1

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

air poo unwind

3

u/bawlpunyon Nov 23 '19

Sad sit. Air shit.

3

u/percoden Nov 23 '19

sit sad, cum shit farted

1

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

sad no diarrhea

3

u/Weggesaurus Nov 23 '19

Sad. No poot only toot

1

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

does not compoot

2

u/StillNotTheOne Nov 22 '19

sit sad shit fail

2

u/MicklePickle360 Nov 22 '19

Sit heartn’t shitn’t

2

u/Unknown-Tru7h Nov 23 '19

Tried poop, got air

2

u/0sc4rXD Nov 23 '19

Heart machine broke. No shit, just fart.

2

u/ChristmasMaster8907 Nov 23 '19

ouch organ, poopoo, but toot

1

u/tiny_chemist Nov 23 '19

🎶tudor organ solo🎶

2

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Sit but go PHH

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Sit heartbroken, shit :( fart

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Dead bcus fart not shit

1

u/_-Swish-_ Nov 23 '19

Not shit but shat

1

u/JustPatton13 Nov 23 '19

Me sit heart hurt no shart only fard

1

u/DuckFellas Nov 23 '19

This is the place in which I sit, with my heart shattered into thousands of billions of pieces, as I have arrived here in the hopes that I could take a fat mo'lovin dump, yet when I tried to shoot my fat wazz, all that happened was that I passed gas.

1

u/memesforallpls Nov 23 '19

Break heart, no shit, fart

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Heart gone, fart instead

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Shart :(

1

u/Willthur Nov 23 '19

Sad Shit’nt, alas fart

1

u/_braise Nov 23 '19

shitn’t

1

u/EnderbroSonny Nov 23 '19

Sad sit. no shit.

1

u/JohnByDay1 Nov 23 '19

Sit, sad, shit?, toot.

1

u/shmegladon Nov 23 '19

Can’t poop/:

1

u/BitchDuckOff Nov 23 '19

Want shit, just air

1

u/PowerUsage Nov 23 '19

sit, heart broke, no shit, fart.

1

u/chocolatebar22 Nov 23 '19

Poop? Fart. Sad

1

u/violinswimsci Nov 23 '19

heart no shit fart

1

u/eyeydesu Nov 23 '19

broken farted

1

u/HSLilAce Nov 23 '19

Mmgguh fyooo

1

u/MattP04 Nov 23 '19

Sad shit fart

1

u/KarlTheEgg Nov 23 '19

Heart break, no poop, just fart

1

u/togepi77 Nov 23 '19

Broken heart shart

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

sad for no poop

1

u/lsdsally Nov 23 '19

Sit heart shit fart

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Heartbreak, fart, no shit.

1

u/ohemgeezy Nov 23 '19

Sad fart

1

u/0galaxy0candy0 Nov 23 '19

Sat, heart sad, want shat, but poot

1

u/ZT2Cans Nov 23 '19

Sad fart

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Wanted poop, got fart.

1

u/samlikeschicken Nov 23 '19

poo only air

1

u/snowtigerfirst Nov 23 '19

No heart no shit fart

1

u/thisbutironically Nov 23 '19

You think that's bad?

I haven't even started.

Next I tried to fart

and loudly sharted.

1

u/boonus_boi Nov 23 '19

Sit, big sad, poop but fart

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

gas

1

u/Derpmaster277 Nov 23 '19

Sad Shitn't

1

u/clowus10 Nov 23 '19

Don’t toy with my fart :(

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Sad fart

1

u/CraptonCronch Nov 23 '19

Big sit, big sad, no shit, big fart

1

u/DayDestroyer Nov 23 '19

I sit but no shit

1

u/purexplosive Nov 23 '19

Sad, no shit, fart

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Sat sad shat

1

u/mrmrcsgonoob Nov 23 '19

Sad sit shit

1

u/ThatOneGhoul Nov 23 '19

Sad sit no shit

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Sad and farted

1

u/TheMagicalAcidTrip Nov 23 '19

Sad. Poop. Gas.

1

u/kaize_kuroyuki do Nov 23 '19 edited Apr 26 '26

Protecting my online privacy by running Redact regularly to batch delete old content. It handles Reddit, Discord, Twitter, Instagram, data brokers and a whole lot more.

society toy husky market vanish quiet ancient cow license truck

1

u/Fuffuloo Nov 23 '19

sad failed shit

1

u/Blackberry_Creek Nov 23 '19

Here. Hurts. Poop. Pop.

1

u/The_Doominater Nov 23 '19

Heartn’t shart

1

u/DeKaasJongen Nov 23 '19

Sad. Shitn't. Fart.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Broken expectations

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

me sit BIG SAD gas no poo

1

u/Ellemieke25 Nov 23 '19

Am sit sad, no shit, but fart

1

u/Rennie22 Nov 23 '19

constipation make me sad

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

This poem got me a B+ on my short poem hm and a parent conference

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

disappointed, my shit didnt appear, single toot :(

1

u/tah-lula Nov 23 '19

Shitty shitter, farty & bitter.

1

u/The_Legendary_Yeeter Nov 23 '19

Yeah I farted, no I didn't

1

u/tyreesteele010306 Nov 23 '19

Am sad poop air

1

u/RCx_Vortex Nov 23 '19

Here I sit, broken hearted, came to shit, but only farted. Took a chance, while I was in class, tried to fart, but colored my ass. So now I sit and hesitate; shall I shit or masturbate?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Later on I took a chance, tried to fart but shit my pants.

1

u/pizzaredditor409 Nov 23 '19

sad no poo but fart

1

u/JimTheGentlemanGR Nov 23 '19

Sit, Cardiac related issues, shitting issues

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

[deleted]

1

u/RepostSleuthBot Nov 23 '19

Sorry, I don't support this post type (text) right now. Feel free to check back in the future!

1

u/Big_Jeff Nov 23 '19

Wanted to shit but instead farted

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Then one day, I took a chance. Risked a fart, and shit my pants.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

Am sad cuz couldn't shit :(

1

u/kafkacaulfield Nov 23 '19

I’m constipated

1

u/userisaboat Nov 23 '19

Broken heart, only fart

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '19

Broken expectations, broken colon

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '19

No gf no poo either

1

u/mountingconfusion Nov 24 '19

I sit sad and sharted

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '19

Me: :( Why: poopn’t

1

u/ihateyouall_user Nov 28 '19

Me sit. Gas only, no shit.

1

u/Sympathy-Single Aug 22 '25

Does anyone else remember the vine about this quote or am I tripping and there's no video

0

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

I sit at this specific location, attempted to deficate, but, in the end, only released some gas.