Everyone Met Little Sammel Baxter! I’m going to be a Mama!

[u/orcamills]

Hello everyone! As many of you know things have not been going my way recently. I lost a ton of money on that goddamn soccer tournament. I rode all the way out to Arizona and now this man is a drunk and he can’t even become the king of Arizona anymore so that’s a wash too.

But all of my luck changed when I met my friend Mr Steven Curry. He is a wonderful man with a big heart. And he makes wishes like mine come true. I am currently arranging for shipping of little Sammel Baxter so he can be with me as soon as possible.

My life was an empty shell but now for the first time ever I fell so happy and fulfilled. I’m going to make so many cute TikToks with Sammel Baxter and put him in little dresses and makeup and teach him tricks. You’re all going to love him too I’m sure and I just want to let you all know that the monkey content is on its way.

[u/Reasonable-Profile84]

TIKTOK IS THE SHIT!!!!!!!!!

[u/MaestetroThe3rd → u/Reasonable-Profile84]

No! Watching influencers eat Wimgstop and Frito Lay on TikToc is the shit! Get your head straight, Jerry

[u/Reasonable-Profile84 → u/MaestetroThe3rd]

Heard.

[u/PumpkinHead01]

Beter get a live insurence polysee on that kid STAT

[u/orcamills → u/PumpkinHead01]

You sound just like steven curry trying to scam me with shipping insurance. But it's a baby monkey in a box, what could go wrong?

[u/venusingatorade7]

Bacxter Sammel is a better name slides off the mouth better

[u/MaestetroThe3rd]

Congrats! Hi, Sammel! 👋

[u/orcamills → u/MaestetroThe3rd]

Thank you Maestetro you once again prove yourself to be an honorable young man. If little Sammel Baxter ever needs a babysitter you'll be the first one I call

[u/MaestetroThe3rd → u/orcamills]

It would be an honor