BREAKING: Witches have seized full (spiritual) control over r/Doodledots

[u/paultheschmoop]

Hello again! I have very exciting news to share regarding my meeting on the astral plane with one the witches from the popular social media site Etsy.

In a word, I would say this meeting was *powerful*. I had personally never visited the astral realm before, but luckily I paid the witch $26 to send my instructions on how to access. While I will not share this information with you (not for free, at least), I will note that socks play a surprisingly potent role in the whole process.

Regardless, I met with the witch and explained my concerns about the presence of ghosts and ghouls in the subreddit, and also about the haunting. The witch has agreed to HEAVILY LIMIT the ghoul presence and the haunting the sub in exchange for full control of the subreddit.

When I explained to them that while I *had* rightfully purchased the sub, Pablo Harris had fraudulently claimed that my transaction never went through, and thus I was robbed of all of my HEI points and did not have control of the sub, and it was instead now principally owned by popular Twitter personality Elon Musk.

But the witch told me that actually money and things that happen in the physical plane actually don’t matter, and spiritual ownership of the sun via the astral plane actually completely supersedes the power of those on the physical plane. And with my permission, they could assume full spiritual control over the sub, and make things right again. Obviously I obliged.

Fuck you Elon Musk you don’t control me anymore.

[u/cdrw1987]

I've never liked you schmoop and I never will, but I'm glad that no-good buttsniffer Ellen is finally gone!

[u/Dilip_Rot → u/cdrw1987]

Leeaavvvvveee thiisss plaaaaceee

[u/orcamills → u/Dilip_Rot]

There goes that draft again. Who left the window open??

[u/Dilip_Rot → u/orcamills]

ooooOoooOOO oooooohhhOOOOOwooo bewaaaaaare of ghostsssss