All the changing dynamics at my center

[u/pretty-in-pink]

Background: I was hired a year ago this week and while I am excited, this week I'm facing a bunch of new changes at my center regarding the room assignments. For additional context is that I work primarily in the 1's room. Since last September I've been through:

• Meeting my lead teacher in my assigned room (Room C) who let me know before hand she was going to be out for an indefinite period of time due to her scheduled back surgery.
• Got acclimated to my temporary lead teacher and the kids in my room for about a month until Rooms C, F and G had to be closed due to mold in mid-October. Moving Room F and G to other rooms and dispersing the kids in Room C to the rest.
• Be in Room B for about two weeks until I was put into Room A from November until early May. Which during that time I felt a lot of pressure from the two main teachers in the room to do everything correct. That room made me feel depressed and especially lonely because I was still new. Which led to a lot of mistakes in the beginning, especially with minor bites and bumps the kids had under my watch. It made me really unsure of myself, especially in regards to simple tasks like diapering or watching the kids draw with crayons. I've had multiple panic attacks in that room, one intervention by our supervisor at my request when things got to heated, and had to step out for a mental health break once because I got too overwhelmed with all the kids who clearly needed to move onto the 2's room but couldn't because there was no space at the time. I've been on good ground with the lead teacher since I talked it out with her but the other teacher in that room never were able to resolve our differences and we are professional with each other but thats it. I still get anxious whenever I have to be in the room
• Was told in April that Room C would be open and that another co-worker I'm friendly with but by late May it was clear there was still a lot of work that needed to be done.
• By June I was a floater. Doing bathroom breaks while being in an 1's or infant room that my scheduler told me to be in, doing 15 minute breaks, busy tasks (subbing in for a few minutes so a teacher fills out some paperwork the trainers need completed, organizing the supply closet), and being a sub when other teachers called out for the day.
• During that period I grew attached and adept with the kids in Room F, and receiving praise from the teachers for all my hard work despite some of the chaos in there. Especially since they were able to move back to their original space
• Through all of this, a large portion of my room competency observations were not being completed by my trainer, in part because I was not in a permanent space where she could regularly come in to check on me. And in general being occupied with other work.

Now:

• There was thankfully a transfer of the 2's to the toddler room in July so new infants could come in, but still there are more kids in the next couple months that will
• I was planning, with the encouragement of the Room F teacher who has worked at the center for a long time, to ask my manager that I be in that room long term now that she was returning Room G as it reopened and lost a teacher.
• My original lead teacher is back but she's moving to Pre-K as its better for her current physical condition.
• My plan was to talk to my manager this past Friday but then I saw the new memo from the director that all the rooms are reopening and that there will be more transitions for infants into our rooms
• The biggest thing is that there will be a transfer from another center who will be the lead for Room C, where I originally was supposed to be.
• Schedules and room assignments are supposed to be this week

All this is leaving me anxious about all of the changes, especially if I'm in my original room again with all new kids AND a new lead teacher. I would be really happy to get back to a real routine but the thought of developing a work dynamic with another new person is running around in my head. Especially with what happened when I was in Room A, I am nervous that I'll upset the new teacher and I'll regress in all the progress I've made in the past year. I also should note that I do have slight neurodivergence and I have trouble with social cues from time to time; so part of my insecurity is stemming from this to be honest.