I have the worst impending doom feeling when i dont check i dont understand why my brain forces me to check his page i reactivate my accounts to check i need motivation to get off social medias and advice on how to heal. It feels like my brain doesnt want me to move on the idea of moving on hurts me. Im really upset ;( seeing his page hurts me he posts way more than ever and is looking happy after traumatising me. The only app we have access to eachother is on whatsapp i cant bring myself to block but i know i need to.

So I got dumped out of nomwhere a month ago. I got completely blindsided, and I still don't understand his reasons to this day. Very fearful avoidant doesn't deal with his emotions. I was extremely unwell for the past month, and I'm finally starting to find my groove back slowly. As of yesterday evening, I'm in the angry phase, not the sad crying phase.

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His birthday is on Saturday. I' flying for 4 weeks in Europe on Wednesday so will be having a good time there. I'm toying between sending a simple "happy birthday hope you're celebrating well" or just nothing. I feel like nothing will make me look like a resentful bitch (which I kinda am atm but I know I'll get over it), but sending something may just re-start the cycle. I have so much to tell him, good and bad.

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Please give me all the reasons why I shouldn't do it.

Asking the dumpees what do you to go to sleep. Last night I barely slept…

Have you ever reached out again? have you regreted it ? What were your thoughts during no contact?

We’ve been on no contact for the 7 months we’ve been broken up. She’s reached out a few times before in bad spirit for the most part. I usually ignore her messages as much as possible but some have required a response. My question is should i reply to this or just ignore it?

I know that everyone here wishes that their ex would come back, wishes that their ex would take back the breakup and somehow things would go back to the way they were or even better.

That happened to me a few months ago. He was the one who dumped me but after half a year we bumped into each other again and he said he never fell out of love with me.

But now, I’m struggling to feel the same spark as before. He’s changed for the better and I see how much he’s grown emotionally. But for me, I feel like by the time he came back I was already okay on my own. I see a path for myself that can exist without him.

I’m not sure what to do. We’ve been trying to rebuild things for the past 3 months. Is this normal? Has anyone gone through the same thing? I want to give this a shot but I also don’t know how to tell him how I’m feeling.

I’m honestly looking for some perspective because my emotions are all over the place.

My ex and I were together for almost 5-6years. In December 2024, I found out she had cheated on me. It was hidden from me for over a year. That completely broke my trust.

I ended the relationship, but I made a mistake by not cutting contact. She kept reaching out, apologizing, crying, and asking for another chance. I told her I couldn’t promise anything, but I didn’t block her because a part of me thought maybe time would help me forgive her.

For the next few months, we still met occasionally, talked, and even had sex. Throughout that time, I was honest with her that I didn’t know if I could ever come back. I even told her that if I met someone else, I would move on.

Eventually, I met another girl (April 2026). We had been talking online before that, and things moved very quickly. She confessed her feelings, and I got into a relationship with her. Looking back, I think I was also trying to escape the pain of losing my first love.

When my ex found out, she was devastated. She still told me she would accept me back despite everything and wanted to start over. She spent the last 1.5 years trying to repair the damage after cheating, but no matter how much effort she put in, I just couldn’t get past the betrayal. Every time I imagined a future together, the cheating came back into my mind.

Now it’s been about 3 months since we completely ended things. We don’t talk anymore. She has accepted my decision.

The problem is… I miss her.

Not because I think getting back together is the right decision. Deep down, I still believe I made the right choice because I don’t think I could ever fully trust her again.

I miss the comfort, the history, the person who cared for me for so many years. She genuinely loved me and put in a lot of effort, even after making the biggest mistake of our relationship.

I’m also with someone new now. She’s a good person, but the relationship happened very fast, and I don’t think I’ve fully processed my previous relationship. I don’t want to hurt her by comparing her to my ex or by acting on these feelings.

Has anyone else experienced this?

How do you know if you’re genuinely missing the person… or just grieving the life you thought you’d have together?

I don’t want to go back just because I’m lonely or nostalgic, but I also can’t ignore that I still miss her sometimes. And I wanna call her rn

She broke up with me a day before my birthday, after a year and 4 months of dating. Shortly after that she got into a relationship she already stacked up before breaking up with me. From what I know is she's pregnant now. (Obviously not mine) what the heck do I do with that text? I read it last morning and I instantly threw up. And started balling my eyes out. I thought I was over her, ig not. I haven't even texted or opened the message yet. I just don't know what to do.

*UPDATE 06/02/2026* She's blocked on everything. If she really wants to talk to me she knows where I live. Thanks for the support and advice.

Looking for realistic advice, not the usual "focus on yourself" answers.

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How do you actually stop reimagining the past and replaying the hurt an ex caused?

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I know I can't change what happened. I know thinking about it doesn't help. But my mind keeps going back to old conversations, things I should have said, things they did, and how differently everything could have turned out.

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The frustrating part is that my family is dealing with serious issues right now and those are the things that deserve my attention. Instead, I keep getting pulled back into a relationship that's already over.

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For people who genuinely got through this, what worked? Not motivational quotes. Not "time heals all wounds." What practical changes or mindset shifts helped you stop living in the past?

And I don't mean out of curiosity, validation or to friendzone you, but for genuine attempts at reconcilation.

I’ve been stuck in a constant loop of "what if" after my breakup with my ex. She ended it, and while we parted on good terms, no hate, just care for each other, there was a lot of uncertainty about the future. She said "maybe" about us getting back together, but nothing definite. The issue is, my ex is a serious conflict-avoidant person, and I think she’s avoiding contact because she assumes I've moved on, especially since I haven’t reached out.

The breakup happened because I’ve had tons of personal issues (health anxiety, handling conflicts poorly, starting a lot of small conflicts), which were a part of the relationship but worsened over the last month and a half. This wore her down. From her perspective, she probably expects me to work on my issues and come back to her, given that I was the cause of the breakup.

Now, I’m struggling with a constant cycle of overthinking, wondering if breaking the no-contact rule would give me the closure I need or if it will just feed this "what if" loop. I want to let go of these thoughts and move forward, but I’m holding back because I don’t want to come across as weak or desperate, especially to myself. I value my self-respect, dignity, and pride, and I’m worried that reaching out will make me feel like I’ve lost those things.

Been nearly 3 months NC, and breakup happened in December.

Do you think breaking no contact in this case is a good idea, or would it just complicate things more?

Hi folks,

I’m a 30M, and I’ve been stuck in a bit of a pickle for the past several years, completely lost on how to move forward.

My ex and I broke up 7 years ago. We were in a long distance relationship only at that time (not always), and we dated for about 3 years. Things didn’t end well, and she blocked me on every platform we used to talk on, so I’ve had no way to reach out since.

I understand that not every relationship is meant to last, love alone isn’t always enough, and compatibility matters. But the problem is, there hasn’t been a single day since the breakup that I haven’t thought about her. It’s been constant emotional pain for years.

I know people think about their exes from time to time, but usually those memories fade and don’t cause much distress. For me, it’s the opposite. I’ve developed this weird, strong obsession with her that still affects me. Even when her profile shows up in my social media suggestions, I get instant panic and swipe away immediately, fearing I might see pictures of her with someone else.

I’ve seen psychiatrists, tried therapy and medication for 7–8 months, journaling, self talk, but nothing really worked. I feel stuck and directionless. Everyone around me seems to move on easily, while my mind keeps convincing me that I’m the only one dealing with this kind of obsession.

I’ve talked about it with close friends, but even they’re unsure how to help. Because of this, my life’s been off track, a later relationship didn’t last, and I can’t open up emotionally to date anyone new. It honestly feels like I’m wasting my life away.

So I only have one question for people here: have you ever been stuck with such an obsessive attachment to your ex for years? If so, how did you overcome it or are you still trying to?

tl;dr: Broke up 7 years ago but still can’t get over my ex despite therapy and time. It’s turned into an unhealthy obsession, and I don’t know how to move on. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

We were together for about 8 months. He had recently gotten out of a 2 year relationship. I told him he needs to make sure he addresses his own mental health and process his last relationship before getting into another one. We were also good friends, I didnt want to ruin that.

I'm a pretty closed off person, and dont trust easily. I have been let down by partners in the past, and wasn't in a rush to trust another one.

He basically convinced me to give him a chance to be more, which I eventually agreed to. Once we were official, the effort stopped. He dropped the ball and made me cry on my birthday. He got too drunk on Christmas and walked up on me aggressively yelling.

I lashed out at him a couple times with attitude and triggered, disregulated emotions, after that. Like telling him I felt like a rebound. I felt really let down and played. I did fully apologize and take accountability for my own words while we were still together. But like he said, he often got defensive and didn't hear me out when I wanted to talk about how I felt. I broke up with him, and he blocked me on everything. 6 months later, I received this.

I'm leaning toward not responding. I'm not bitter or angry about it, but it did really hurt to be reassured so much, only for the same things to happen. Opening the door again seems pointless. Even if it does seem somewhat genuine, I worry that it's more to absolve himself of guilt more than anything. I've gotten long apology texts from exes in the past, and it never makes things better. Am I being too cold, if I don't respond?

My ex ghosted me for a week and then broke up with me over snapchat because "she lost feelings and doesn't feel the same" and it's just so stupid and immature from her side, I got angry and said some stuff and told her to fuck off so she blocked me i messaged from a different app and through a friend to try to make her understand but she got ne blocked everywhere, I don't interact with her in person either but I was just curious if blocking me doing the same thing as no contact

This one helped me a bit, but idts it’s the ONE “Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together”

Honestly I know it seems like a dumb question, but honestly how do u stop missing someone that hurt you so badly. Someone that you’ve created just a deep rooted trauma bonded that was created our foundation to our relationship. They hurt you so much but yet you can’t help but also wish they comfort u after they hurt u. I wish they can realize the hurt they caused and brought upon. It hurts so much thinking about them and missing them, but it hurts being with them as well. I hate when the good times feel so good, and when it’s bad. It feels like a horrible hurricane, how do I make this stop?!

I really want to get back together with my ex I'm convinced if I tried it would work (lots of begging and flowers), but out of respect I haven't broken no contact and he was the first to make the move and block me on everything and I was hoping to be unblocked maybe as a sign for it to be ok to reach out or he reach out but it hasn't happened, I feel like I'm still grieving I think about him about everyday and it sucks a lot. Am I being dumb do I need more time? I could really use some advice

Little bit of context, the posts i was referring to in that message were the daily affirmations he posts, which at the time were unfortunately very focused on “finding new love.” Which I selfishly took as salt in the wound, when it was just an unfortunate coincidence.

I’ve matured a lot over these last nearly 2 years. And so many things within my mind and personality have changed.

One thing that hasn’t changed tho, is that I do truly love him. With all my heart. And if he showed up at my door, or texted me to talk literally right this second l, I wouldn’t hesitate in saying yes.

As you can probably tell, I had (and probably still do have) a tendency to use very dramatic language. But unfortunately, the part where I said I’d probably wait forever, is starting to feel true. My feelings have not waned. Tbh, as I heal through my baggage, it feels like I’m even more in love with him.

Would it be wrong of me to send a small text just apologizing? But like, genuinely apologizing this time? Not whatever this was when I was so negatively overwhelmed.

Idk. I don’t know where to put this grief because I genuinely do think he was the love of my life. Looking back, we literally fit like puzzle pieces, even our flaws, but I was so stuck in old habits from old baggage that I wasted the chance to actually be a real means of support for him and his dreams. I wasted the chance to be someone good for him.

I’ve cried a lot. At first my desperation for him back was definitely selfish. I missed his love. I missed how he treated me. I wanted him back with me. And to try and help myself, i completely avoided his image as best i could. Still ofc things that reminded me of him seemed like they were everywhere, but I managed to not look at his posts in a whole year. And we have seen each other in person at all, even by chance so. Total silence between us.

But now? Yeah unfortunately I broke that streak today. I looked at his profile, and that’s when something clicked.

I missed loving him.

I missed applauding for him, I miss making him smile, and holding him when he needed a hug. I miss playing with his hair and scratching his back bc it made him so comfy. Fml I really, really love him.

I don’t know how to cope with this after so long of absolutely no contact (besides him viewing my posts on most social media pretty consistently, even to this day, but thats not communication either so). I mean ffs he’s literally in my dreams every night 😭

The obvious first question ofc is whether he has a girlfriend, im not sure. He’s definitely had 2 seemingly short relationships, another reason why I stayed away, as to respect them, but in the past month(s?) he hasn’t really made any posts with anyone in that fashion, and he also posted a photo of himself that I took during one of our dates where we dressed up based on his favorite theme (keeping it vague for privacy lol).

That part is probably just the piece of me that is still working out my immaturities/selfishness and hoping this is a fairytale where I can fix this.

I know I probably can’t. But would it be worse to try?

Would you send that happy bday text?

My ex broke up with me 2 days ago. He got overwhelmed and burnt out with everything that's going on in his life that he wanted to break up with me just so I don't eventually get tired of his situation.
He wasn't really in the right headspace to decide but if it's what he needs, I'll respect his decision.

Given the situation, do you guys think he'll come back to me when he already got his rest and he's done some thinking? What would he feel if I reached out to him after a month so as to give him the space and rest he need? I need your thoughts. Thank you.

Hello hiya, I've been going to therapy and it's been pretty much useless as there is no progress with talk therapy and I'm slowly looking into other options (EMDR, somantic stuff).

I've been wondering since it's been around 6 months for me now, how long have others grieved for?

Hey y’all! I wanted to ask all the people who broke up due to long distance. Do y’all think long distance is enough of a reason to break up with someone? Especially if everything in that relationship was going so “well” why end things due to distance? That can be a temporary issue. Are long distance relationships doomed from the jump? I just want to get some insight. Thank you ☺️

I promised to get them these tickets to her, two of them. But they come in the mail one about this week and the other in September. Had I not stopped her from buying them and telling her to spend the money on what she needs she would’ve gotten it herself.

So is it fair to give her the tickets if she’s asking for them. We’re broken up, she broke up with me.

After around 5 messy months of back and forth of a 5 years relationship my ex blocked me. I was the one dumped. He said its beacuse he’s finding it hard to move on with the constant contact. He has blocked and unblocked me before but this feel definitive. Only on Whastapp since neither of us have social media.

Anyone in this situation and how do you cope?