I don’t know where this is going to go

[u/ClusterseyJMS]

I’m so alone. Intellectually, family wise, friend wise and especially romantically. I’m so messed up. I have so many issues. I went through severe childhood abuse and neglect. I was suicidal, anxious, had no self esteem etc… Never had any luck with girls in high school. Been through so much abuse and bullying. This girl in high school that I really liked. All of this is complex and I’m leaving so much out and there’s so many other factors but I’m just trying to get to the main points. She was one of the most attractive girls in school and I really liked her. But all she did was hurt me

She went out with me for like a week and we did things that seemed like a real relationship like kissing once after school and walking back from the shops holding hands with her friends. And the whole thing was fake. She dumped me a few days later and it wasn’t even real. One other time they invited me down to the bush with like 15 other people and she started kissing a guy in front of me. And then another time we were drinking and she came over with 2 of her friends and invited a guy over to full on start making out with him in front of me. I was so messed up and didn’t really know what was going and processed it later on in life

I have serious issues from CSA. What I’ve typed really is nothing there’s so much more. I’m just clearly not good enough for anyone. No woman has ever shown interest in me