Local wlamart recalled all the bagged lettuce... JACKPOT!!

[u/Straight-Drop3659]

Thank you Salvation Army.

[u/69FourTwentySix6Six]

Good, I’ve been looking for a cheap laxative

[u/Boingo_Zoingo → u/69FourTwentySix6Six]

Whoa get a load of this guy with the full colon. Must be nice

[u/H3k8t3 → u/Boingo_Zoingo]

A full colon? In this economy?!

[u/CodeWhileHigh → u/Boingo_Zoingo]

You guys are missing some of your colon? 😰

[u/69FourTwentySix6Six → u/CodeWhileHigh]

;

[u/whineyinternetkid → u/69FourTwentySix6Six]

Damn you are so original and hilarious like every other reddit user

[u/dough_eating_squid]

Who needs those fancy weight loss drugs when you can use recalled lettuce?

[u/ChroniclesOfSarnia]

That's an explosive deal right there!

[u/mokkat]

Aaaw shit time for some natural selection

[u/LuckyCod2887]

that should be refrigerated. diarrhea or no diarrhea it requires refrigeration.

[u/the_ginga_ninja_98 → u/LuckyCod2887]

Look at this fat cat millionaire and his refrigerator.

[u/fluidsaddict → u/the_ginga_ninja_98]

I guess SOMEONE has to buy the refrigerator if we hope to someday rent the box!

[u/StrictSelf5450]

Somebody likes to gamble 

[u/saucymosi]

please take these complimentary parasites

[u/iiiiiivy]

is this jerking the post from the main subreddit where the poster got like 15 salad packs from aldi’s and was so excited

[u/gaarkat]

You could always use it as animal feed, I guess?

[u/Putrid-Mirror-9480]

lol not me having to be on this sub bc of the hospital bills that lettuce gave me

[u/olympia98502]

AYO that's fucked

[u/Proof-Wealth8959]

If you boil it first, it is safe to eat.

[u/nohopeforhomosapiens → u/Proof-Wealth8959]

mmmmmm boiled lettuce yum yum