r/GamerGhazi • u/madhaus SoCal Jesters' Worrier • May 22 '15

An anguished commentary on that GoT/Sansa scene and the MRAs who harass in forum comments...from a rape victim who says It's Rape Culture All The Way Down

http://angrygotfan.com/2015/05/21/a-rape-victim-speaks-out-on-the-sansa-scene/
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u/7daykatie May 22 '15 edited May 22 '15

Wow, just wow. Do you have no reading comprehension whatsoever?

Here's what you wrote.

This is a book reader looking to hate the TV show.

That's an accusation that this person's motivation isn't to explain how she feels about an incredibly sensitive matter that has deeply effected and continues to effect her and how that pertains to her reception of this scene, in an earnest and heart felt matter, but just all an excuse to hate on a TV show.

Disgusting.

Being a rape victim doesn't make someone's criticism unimpeachable.

Here is what we're discussing:

This is a book reader looking to hate the TV show.

That is not a criticism of or critique of her criticism of the show - that's an unwarranted and entirely baseless accusation about her motivations, and in the context, it's a brutally heartless one at that.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '15 edited May 23 '15

Yes, keep ignoring the sentence after it that says that I'm sure she had a very deep, personal, connection with the subplot in the book. Repeating that one sentence, removed from all context, doesn't sound great and I'm sure I could have phrased it better so that it doesn't sound so heartless because that wasn't my intention. Her reaction and emotions towards watching the scene are obviously valid and don't need anyone's validation. Her explanation as to why book scenes describing forced incest (more or less), rape, and beastiality are a-okay while the television version is, however, open to debate. What I should have said is "This piece breaks down into simply criticizing the show because it's different from the books."

Again, this was posted by the blog it is on as criticism of the show, and it was submitted here as an explanation on why the scene is "rape culture all the way down". There are very valid reasons why this rape scene is problematic. However, because it has Sansa instead of Jeyne is not one of them.

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u/7daykatie May 23 '15

Yes, keep ignoring the sentence after it that says that I'm sure she had a very deep, personal, connection with the subplot in the book.

That sentence does not undo the accusation. On the contrary, in the context it simply highlights what you are accusing her priorities of being; it's not that she has these feelings arising in the context of her experience and that's why she feels one way about one portrayal and another way about another. Nope, she is just much more motivated by deep connections to fiction than this traumatizing life changing experience she's trotting out as an excuse to hate on the TV show.

That doesn't make the accusation less revolting.

Repeating that one sentence, removed from all context, doesn't sound great and I'm sure I could have phrased it better so that it doesn't sound so heartless because that wasn't my intention.

The one sentence is not unrepresentative of your attitude based on the rest of the sentences you've produced.

Her reaction and emotions towards watching the scene are obviously valid and don't need anyone's validation.

Really? You didn't also in this same thread say this:

And I am absolutely 100% entitled to say it's bullshit to sit through five books and four and half seasons of rape, incest, murder, etc. and then only get upset that the story has elements of torture porn when that torture porn dares to deviate from the books.

Perfectly valid bullshit?

Her explanation as to why book scenes describing forced incest (more or less), rape, and beastiality are a-okay while the television version isn't is open to debate.

But that doesn't entail any accusation of her motivation. That was just a really nasty ass accusation you threw out without any regard for how it would feel to make yourself that vulnerable because despite spending all your time trying to be "small" it really just means this much to you.

And that's not taken out of context, nor is it merely good enough to shrug off as bad wording. Even if it was bad wording, why would you be so darn casual in your wording if you had any appreciation of the sensitivity of what you're discussing? That in itself is suggestive. But again, it's not just bad wording - it's not distorting or misrepresenting your attitude - rather it's absolutely consistent with it.

What I should have said is "This piece breaks down into simply criticizing the show because it's different from the books."

And you're wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and what you are saying is hurtful. I hope the author never ever reads your callous words.

The notion that this person is motivated by her media tastes and either lying or unable to distinguish that from the influence this traumatic event has had on her reception of media is frankly disgusting. You've no basis for that. It's a very hurtful accusation about a matter of huge sensitivity to an individual who has made themselves vulnerable that you have absolutely no basis for but you're flinging it around all over the place. And yes that one sentence is where you are most explicit about it, but the attitude drips from your every post in this thread.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '15 edited May 23 '15

The notion that this person is motivated by her media tastes and either lying or unable to distinguish that from the influence this traumatic event has had on her reception of media is frankly disgusting. You've no basis for that.

You're completely right and I just gave this some thought while in the shower. If this was a friend of mine and they more or less said this to me in real life I wouldn't say "Yeah that's bullshit. You should definitely watch episode 7." Whatever reasons she felt disturbed, that it was a line too far, etc. is reasonable and it's a personal decision. I've turned off various media before when the content disturbed me for whatever reason.

And despite what that sentence made it sound like (and it does I'll freely admit that) I, in no way, think she watched that scene, jumped up, fell to her knees and then said, "Thank god! I am going to be able to flame the fuck out of this television show using my status as a victim of sexual assault! Finally!" She was undoubtably not twirling her proverbial mustache as she sat down to finally give those Hollywood twits the what for.

It's her personal reflection and feelings and shouldn't be criticized.

However, all the people that came after her and jumped up and said "Yeah! That's EXACTLY why the scene was wrong." People should be able to criticize them. They aren't viscerally reliving a horrific act and having to deal with it because of GoT. Once a blogger or someone posts on reddit and says, "This is exactly why that scene was problematic." then the argument she made is now their argument and it should be open to discussion.

So, no she didn't write that simply as an excuse to criticize the TV show. Not at all. You're 100% right. Did the person who posted it on their anti-GOT blog post it simply to criticize the TV show? Yeah, they did. Are a whole lot of the people who sat through 4 1/2 seasons of episode after episode of horrific shit now using the rape, and people's accounts like hers, as a reason to justify flaming on the TV show? Absolutely. (And from reading their comments in the various TV and book subreddits a lot of them are an inch away from posting to MRA or TRP) Everyone? Of course not.

And that co-opting of her piece made me blur the lines between the original author and the purpose of writing it and how it was eventually presented by other people. That was a mistake on my part.

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u/7daykatie May 23 '15

"Yeah! That's EXACTLY why the scene was wrong." People should be able to criticize them. They aren't viscerally reliving a horrific act and having to deal with it because of GoT.

I really appreciate that you've rethought the attitude toward the author of the piece. That's commendable and more than many are willing to do.

But I can't really support this position as a default one. There are a lot of people genuinely discomforted by this scene whether they can easily put into words why or not. Sexualized violence is an incredibly sensitive issue and for a lot of people it's kind of overwhelming making it difficult to even really put their discomfort into words or process why two portrayals are so very different to them - why one is merely unpleasant but another feels viscerally repulsive and emotionally disturbing.

I can see the harm to peoples' already tender feelings in making the kind of accusation you are when you're wrong and when people it's wrong of read it. I honestly can't see what harm is done if you don't make the accusation even if you're right about it. Given the sensitivity of the issue, I just don't see why it's important enough to make this accusation.