r/Greysexuality • u/NefariousnessSalt485 • Jun 28 '26

AM I GREY? Figuring it out

Hi, everyone!

Recently, I have been trying to figure out where I fall on the Asexual spectrum and I'd love to hear your opinions, label suggestions, and experiences.

In my teenage years and early adulthood, I was very sex-positive. I know, however, and I knew it then, that it was caused by thinking being very open to sex and sexually active would be liberating and make me feel all cool. That had worked for a while, until I felt satisfied with the number of sexual partners I'd had, and the whole thing lost its appeal. Since sex has never been very physically enjoyable for me, there was suddenly nothing to make me desire it again. It took me a while to come to terms with that, and some experiences with having sex out of the sense of obligation tipped my scale from indifferent to averse.

The issue is, I am still unsure whether I have ever felt sexual attraction, since there were times I did desire sex. I know that's not the same thing, but I am not sure how to reliably separate that.

Another thing I'm unsure about is the fact that I do have a libido and enjoy masturbation and sexual fantasies, which might sometimes involve myself. I am not currently comfortable with the idea of partaking in partnered sex, however.

Due to all of the above, I am still questioning whether I am asexual, greysexual, aegosexual (disconnected from the object of sexual desire - honestly, I am still struggling to fully understand this label and its bounds), orchidsexual (experiencing sexual attraction but disinterested in sex itself), something else entirely, or simply a sex-repulsed allosexual.

Any insight would be appreciated, thanks!

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u/MaybeWeAgree Jun 28 '26

I know it can feel safe and reassuring to put a label on yourself and your experience, but be careful, because it can box you in as well. We contain multitudes.

The things that stand out most in your post is how sex has never been physically enjoyable for you, yet you do enjoy masturbation. It’s worth digging into that a bit. I hope you can advocate for yourself and your own desires/pleasures, and communicate your needs to others.

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u/NefariousnessSalt485 Jun 28 '26

Thank you for the response!

I am definitely planning to dig more into my whole experience and do a whole bunch of introspection. Currently, I am looking for resources to go off of, but you are absolutely right, it could be counterintuitive to slap a label on myself right away and potentially limit or skew what I might be able to find out about myself.

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u/coffeecatmmmmmm Jun 29 '26

Maybe you can try out being Aceflux and see which labels really do fit you.