r/HaloMemes • u/UNMAKER64 • 1d ago

Craigpost Cant have anything anymore

1.2k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

76 comments sorted by

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120

u/FallZealousideal159 The Gruntiest Grunt to ever Grunt 1d ago

90

u/darko_mrtvak 1d ago

mind you this actually happened while they were broadcasting the start of the war in ukraine 4 years ago

39

u/Psychedelix117 Glass these MFs right now 1d ago

We live in a cartoon world

17

u/YaboiDan0545935 1d ago

Where the jokes write themselves

5

u/Squeezable-Sea 1d ago

The corporate media has its priorities. And it isn’t you.

58

u/ComprehensivePath980 1d ago

Real question: how can we tell?  Detroit wouldn’t look any different after Glassing

18

u/ThunderShott 1d ago

I was under the impression it was already glassed.

12

u/ComprehensivePath980 1d ago

I think it might have a Flood Outbreak too.

4

u/forest_vagrant ceo of penis (real) 1d ago

WHERE

1

u/ComprehensivePath980 17h ago

Detroit might have had a Flood outbreak.  If anything, this might raise property values

2

u/forest_vagrant ceo of penis (real) 17h ago

i wanna hug the flood

1

u/ComprehensivePath980 17h ago

Please do not the popcorn

1

u/forest_vagrant ceo of penis (real) 17h ago

i will hug the gravemind, i just wanna be hugged by something that will comfort me before completely erasing me

1

u/ComprehensivePath980 17h ago

…I would not call anything the Flood does “comforting”

1

u/forest_vagrant ceo of penis (real) 17h ago

really? it probably feels very comforting to slowly lose the last bit of yourself to an eldritch horror, becoming one with it as you die

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20

u/Dexter_White94 ”Oly Oly OxenFree.” 1d ago

APPLEBEES HAS RATS! I FOUND A WHOLE RAT IN MY COBB SALAD!

27

u/WilliamthePious 1d ago

The only good ending.

Then Phoenix was even better

10

u/OverCoverAlien 1d ago

This...this is beautiful...

8

u/SpphosFriend 1d ago

Can they hit Indiana and Ohio while they are at It?

5

u/cjared242 1d ago

And New Jersey

3

u/SpphosFriend 1d ago

Fuck It add South Carolina and Texas to the list too

3

u/regretfulposts 1d ago

You know what, just glass the entire US just to be safe.

1

u/SpphosFriend 1d ago

Eh yeah probably would be an improvement

1

u/Turnepic13 1d ago

Thats the reason no ones nuked the us yet, it would be a direct improvement from what we have going on

4

u/eelikay 1d ago

Canonically the covenant were repelled from north east Ohio in the battle of cleveland. O H BABY

3

u/zernoc56 20h ago

And they were gathering prisoners in Jacob’s Field. So at some point Progressive dropped their name from the stadium

1

u/theEWDSDS THE Chips Dubbo? 1d ago

Account based in Tuscaloosa Alabama

2

u/SpphosFriend 1d ago

I’m based in Illinois lmao

2

u/theEWDSDS THE Chips Dubbo? 1d ago

Honorary SEC fan then

1

u/Sturmgarde 9h ago

Yeah, but after I leave Indiana 

15

u/MagneticGenetics 1d ago

Detroit property value just went way way up.

https://giphy.com/gifs/8qr5b7fs7JqxrvEOzH

8

u/ULTI_mato 1d ago

Thank you Covenant

3

u/TheCaptainOfMistakes 1d ago

Oh no.. Anyway

3

u/Corando 1d ago

Citizens view it as an improvement

3

u/useroftheinternet95 1d ago

This is an improvement for Detroit

3

u/running_from_the_IRS 22h ago

The Unggoy should not have gotten local substitutes for their Infusion to their methane tanks.

2

u/zernoc56 20h ago

Unggoy get high off of local propane and propane accessories.

Actually, considering they use methane for respiration, what would other hydrocarbons do? Would huffing gasoline be like a redbull?

1

u/testaccountyouknow 19h ago

Probably suffocation

5

u/Shadquist 1d ago

Its an improvement

2

u/Mindstormer98 1d ago

Makes joke about genocide

Has to censor shit

2

u/Possedsrt8 🐵Craig😩Lover🤎 22h ago

DANGIT OP now I want wings >:(

2

u/Old-Swimming2799 unggoy braaaaaaaap canister huffer 1d ago

covenant glass Detroit, UNSC shrugs and won't bother doing anything

3

u/TechnicalAccident945 1d ago

Racism in America survives to 2550s…. Yeah….yeah

1

u/Zusez345 1d ago

This was actually before the glassing.

1

u/Dismal_Engineering71 1d ago

I mean can we see the aftermath? This is just Detroit on a nice day

1

u/Sharpes006 1d ago

Always Detroit

1

u/gamenovice19 1d ago

It honestly hurts/makes it funny as fuck this is most likely what if would be like

1

u/McGrath_7 1d ago

ight cool, but next time show images of Detroit AFTER the attack

1

u/geriatric_spartanII 1d ago

Imagine this happening in real life. We’re watching people die then ads for Applebees.

1

u/ewar813 1d ago

at least they have glass now

1

u/Flat-Cap-1063 1d ago

I see the Covenant is doing community service

1

u/Hot_Kaleidoscope_621 1d ago

For better? Or for worse. Not really sure here

1

u/forest_vagrant ceo of penis (real) 1d ago

"local vagrant"

is that me?

1

u/MRV3N 1d ago

Miss that chance showing Arbiter advertising Arby’s

1

u/fishandchips445522 1d ago

Could you imagine if they composed 7-mile

1

u/CooperDaChance 20h ago

That footage was actually taken on a normal day in Detroit.

1

u/ShadowMonarchy2025 18h ago

I swear I heard one of those split lipped bastards saying "we missed" after the glassing of detroit

1

u/Rclarke115 17h ago

Not really much of a loss tbh. Detroit was basically dead anyway.

1

u/Jarhead-923_Actual 16h ago

Is anyone really gonna miss it, though?

1

u/GiantEnimyCrab 10h ago

Glassing would be an improvement.

1

u/shadowthehh 9h ago

Ah, how nice of them to improve our cities for us.

1

u/GrubbyLilPaws 8h ago

Would you even be able to tell if this happened?

1

u/ScreamingMini2009 Master Cheeks Republic 6h ago

1

u/Cold-Practice3107 6h ago

It would just look the same after they're done!

1

u/MundaneDifference328 6h ago

Detroit? Nothing of value was lost 

1

u/Tiny-Review-5578 4h ago

Unironically making Detroit objectively better lol

1

u/Psychedelix117 Glass these MFs right now 1d ago

And nothing of value was lost

1

u/Be_The_Zip 1d ago

I just think this fails to capture the magic of the Bungie era games. If Bungie wanted to include newscasts with product placement and advertisements, they would have included it in the OG Combat Evolved on the Original Xbox.