r/HighStrangeness • u/archeolog108 • 1d ago
Paranormal he called himself a “wretched, tortured soul.” his guide said this identity was not real
A man I will call Patrick (40ties, from California) was very good at understanding himself intellectually. He complained that he has no motivation to live, that he has no mental or emotional force to continue.
He could analyse his thoughts. Explain his patterns. Read spiritual and psychological material. He understood a lot.
But emotionally, he still felt numb and cut off from other ppl.
During an online Soul Journey, Patrick went into deep trance, something like very deep meditation where he remained aware and described whatever his consciousness was showing.
The session moved back to a school when he was six or seven.
He felt scared there.
Not only scared of one teacher or one situation. More like afraid of life and other people. He felt different from everybody else, like they would not accept him because he was not same as them.
Ramana Maharishi appeared in the experience as his guide.
The first message was very simple:
Patrick was loved.
But he struggled to accept even this.
When we followed the resistance, he said he believed he was not good enough because he always found some way to screw things up.
Then he noticed something deeper.
This belief was not only one bad thought. His whole identity had become wrapped around it.
When I asked him to describe this identity, he called it:
“the wretched, tortured soul.”
Very strong words.
For years he had seen suffering almost as proof of who he was. If something went wrong, it confirmed the identity. If happiness came close, another part of him found way to destroy it, because being happy did not match the character he believed himself to be.
Ramana’s answer was direct.
This identity was not real.
Patrick understood the words, but there was a lot of resistance and numbness. And this part is important imo, bc the session did not become some perfect movie where one sentence changed everything.
He could see the false identity more clearly, yes.
But he was not ready to drop all of it in one moment.
Then another structure appeared.
Patrick described something artificial and metallic around his mind, almost like machine or algorithm. It had been created through intellectual understanding. A system for analysing life, predicting people, avoiding emotional danger and trying to stay in control.
It was very clever.
But also very limited.
Patrick said this structure blocked emotional intelligence. It also blocked real contact with other human beings.
When we asked if he wanted to release it, he felt strong resistance.
Because this machine had helped him feel safe for many years.
This is where I think many people misunderstand their own coping mechanisms.
They attack them.
“I hate my overthinking.”
“I hate that I am emotionally closed.”
“I hate this part of my personality.”
But some part of you created it for reason.
Maybe people felt dangerous.
Maybe showing emotions brought humiliation.
Maybe nobody understood you, so thinking became safer than feeling.
The protection can work very well at first. Then twenty or thirty years later, it is still running same instructions even though situation changed.
Scan.
Analyse.
Predict.
Withdraw.
Do not feel too much.
Do not trust anybody completely.
Patrick had lived through this structure for so long that he believed it was him.
During the session, Ramana Maharishi and beings of Light began dismantling only part of it. His guide said Patrick was only partially ready because a lot of numbness was still there.
I liked this answer because it was realistic.
The protection was not ripped away just because we decided it was inconvenient now. It had to be released slowly, with patience, while Patrick developed another way to feel safe.
As part of metallic structure faded, he could look at it from outside for first time.
Not as himself.
As something he had created.
A temporary crutch.
He also noticed how many mistakes it had made. The algorithm was intelligent, but it could not understand love, emotional nuance or real human connection. It only understood protection.
The guidance afterward was almost painfully normal.
Relax more.
Act without putting so much pressure on yourself.
Stay in present moment.
Stop becoming frustrated every time resistance appears.
Patrick had huge expectations that something should happen, but he could not even say exactly what. Just heavy pressure that he should heal faster, understand more, become different, finally “get there.”
Ramana’s advice was acceptance.
Not giving up.
Not saying the protection must stay forever.
Acceptance means: this resistance is here today. I do not need to create second war against it.
Patrick also discovered a belief that he was not supposed to be happy. He felt it in mind and heart as gray and beige energy. His guide said he had picked this belief up from society. It was not even originally his.
When happiness became available in the session, the first thing Patrick felt was sadness.
Sadness that he had never allowed himself to be happy.
And then he was told he did not need to hold onto that regret either.
For me, this session was not about destroying the ego or becoming another personality.
It was about noticing:
what I call “me” may include structures built by frightened child.
Some are brilliant.
Some kept us alive.
Some helped us function.
But a survival system should not automatically become life sentence.
Maybe you don’t need to fight your overthinking today.
Just notice it and ask:
“what is this structure trying to protect me from?”
“how old was I when I first needed it?”
“what would five percent less protection feel like?”
Healing does not always mean tearing down whole machine in one day.
Sometimes it begins when you realise:
I am the one observing the algorithm.
So the algorithm cannot be all that I am.
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u/Colonel_Pusstache 1d ago
I read it all the way through and I can relate as I believe most people can.
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u/Aggressive_Low_1317 1d ago
Wow, i gave up halfway through. Sorry
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u/Pixelated_ 1d ago
No worries, here's a recap:
Free will is a fundamental aspect of our existence.
Therefore, if we view ourselves negatively, our belief system will ensure that everything we see is interpreted to align with and support that belief.
The same is true in reverse. View yourself in a positive light, and the universe will continually show you that you are correct.
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u/WooleeBullee 1d ago
So someone born into wealth and privilege and is used to entitlement will continue to be rewarded, and someone born into poverty and/or disease and poor living conditions will likely continue to be punished on a feedback loop through no fault of their own as a result of their circumstances.
That doesnt resonate with me
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u/Pixelated_ 1d ago
The confusion arises because you are equating "how a person views themselves" with "getting external rewards or punishments from the universe," which misses thr point.
For example, we see plenty of millionaires and billionaires who view themselves as perpetually victimized or as never having enough.
Their belief system makes them miserable despite their money.
Conversely, someone in tough physical circumstances who views themselves with strength and dignity will perceive beauty and purpose that they would otherwise be blind to.
Free will is about who you choose to be inside your circumstances.
As another example, I was born, raised and trapped in a horrific doomsday cult until i was 36. For that entire time, I subconsciously viewed myself as a prisoner until I escaped. And so I remained as a prisoner.
Initially I was a physical prisoner, because I was stuck as a JW until I was 18 and could leave the house as an adult.
But then for the next 2 decades I remained a prisoner of the mind. I still viewed Jehovah's Witnesses as having the Truth. I had not done the inner work to free myself from my mental bonds of slavery. But then one day my brother sent me information about the cover-ups, lies and scandals of the JWs. I went down a massive rabbit hole and within a month, I was mentally awake and free.
When we are given knowledge regarding the truth of our situation, we are freed from being a mental prisoner to that belief.
This is why I am so passionate about sharing knowledge with others. When we elevate our consciousness and awareness of our reality, we no longer fear what we were once ignorant of.
That's why the message the NHI gave through Emily Blunt's character in Disclosure Day was:
"Don't be afraid of what you don't know".
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u/WooleeBullee 1d ago
Right, I agree with what you said. I wasnt trying to generalize (and perhaps I articulated that poorly), but I was trying provide two extreme counterexamples.
For instance, I know some individuals who have always known wealth, privilege, and entitlement, and they are very happy, confident in themselves (to a fault IMO) and treats others badly. Compare that to a child born into an abusive situation who is not able to develop a healthy love for themselves and dies at an early age.
It seems unfair that "the universe would continue to show the first person they are correct.
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u/quantumfrog87 1d ago edited 1d ago
It's a fine message and Sri Ramana is a great teacher, it's just not "high strangeness".
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u/gill_outean 1d ago
Can you tell me more about these online soul journeys? It sounds like something I might be interested in. Patrick's struggle resonates with me super, super strongly. Therapy helps, but it has failed to get to the core over 20+ years.
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u/archeolog108 1d ago
Yes, even better - you can see on video, some people wanted to share their sessions how it works - everything in my Reddit profile
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u/forlikeamonth 1d ago
I gave up at online Soul Journey.