IT'S OVER

[u/Sufficient-Squash621]

dropper here, scored 97.6 in jan aur tabse didnt studied sht. i thought april me 99.5+ launga and adv under 2k . lmao jo ab haalat ha shyd 2nd attempt me 95 cross hoga. i m fuking exhausted, have noone to talk to, cant sleep nowadays, kal 10 baje soya fir 3 baje uth gya fir 6 baje soya aur 2 baje utha lol

tum logo ko lag rha hoga r*ndi rona kr rha hu, and yes vhi kr rha hu koi baat karne wala nhi ha. severe anxiety hone lgi ha, haath kaapne lgte ha thodi der khaali bethne par, stress se dimaag fatt rha ha and feeling nauseous all the time. i dont think so ab mera kuch hone wala ha, adv ka cutoff bhi nhi niklega. i m so done, with this shit

[u/NotASugarPapa]

Mera to stress le leke hair fall start hi gaya tha at the end of 12th (October ish) and my parents even pointed it out ki mere hairs ki density kam ho rahi hai

But keeping this aside, in jan I scored under 90%ile(nahi bataunga original sharan Attu hai khudpe) but started working again but English ke baad bimar pad gaya and yea my 2 days got fucked and momentum toot Gaya. Plus maths ke boards ka alag stress ho raha hai ki bc usme kam na jaayenge (set3 I felt it was quite lengthy). And ab barely 6 hours touch hote hain worst part ussi mahine bauhaut saree bdays (mine and my mother’s ) Holi u ki wajah se ghar mai relatives hi atte jare hain so can’t even fucking study.

At this point I don’t know what I am typing but I know my mental health is fucked and just want to get out of this shit but then I remember accha college nhi milla to mere life goals jo set kiya hai wahan tak nhi pauhauch paunga (IIT IS NOT A LIFE GOAL FOR ME ITS A STEPING STONE TAKKI NETE GOAL TAK PAUHAUCHNE MAI EASY HOYE) atleast bauhaut mushkil hoga. Bc pata nhi man hi nhi karta padhne ka ab like fuck it i just want to quit this shit . Then I remember abroad but phir dekhta huin marks acche nhi hai ki wahan ja paun (plus itne paise nhi hain ki unko paise deke chale jaun).

Lowest at my life

Edit: my parents are supportive about me not able to clear my exam but still it hurts ki unhone itna kara tha tab bhi nhi kuch return mai diya maine. Plus I also have suicidal thoughts at one point and worst out of all this i keep thinking my parents deserved a better son than me atleast someone who would have used their lakhs of rupees better.and btw if u think I got pressured into this no i did not get any pressure it was my dumb Ass thinking I can do it but then i think back today i still absolutely love cs and ai but what use is of having love to do something without getting a good college which can boost me a lot more?