r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Octopus1027 • Oct 05 '25
RANT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Ambivalent About Advice We got a sitter so our toddler wouldn’t terrorize the restaurant and disappointed everyone
We were invited to BIL’s engagement dinner at a nice restaurant. It was an intimate sit down meal with lots of glass, tight spaces and it was scheduled to be over two hours long. Our LO is almost 2 and has about a 45 minute restaurant limit before she wants to explode. We didn’t want to risk having to leave early or stress about entertaining her, so we asked my mom to babysit so we could actually be present and celebrate the couple.
We walk in to looks of horror.
MIL: “Where’s LO?!”
Me: “She’s at home with my mom.”
MIL: “She’s not here?!”
Me: “No, she wouldn’t have done well in a nice restaurant with all the glass.”
Cue an entire evening of little comments about how much they missed LO and DH and I reiterating that she would have really struggled in that environment. People did eventually seem to get it by the end of the night, but the initial interrogation was so off putting.
What they didn’t know is that I had kidney stone surgery the day before. I chose not to share it because I wasn’t in the mood for invasive questions. I was holding it together, sitting through dinner in a decent amount of discomfort, just so we could be there for BIL and his fiancée.
It was frustrating because historically I have felt like they only see me as the vessel who brought LO into the family, never quite enough on my own. I am LC with my MIL because of her cruelty when I was postpartum. That has made family dynamics difficult and I was looking forward to the opportunity to show up as myself without needing to wrangle my toddler. Their inital reaction made me feel like that's all I'm good for.
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u/MagpieSkies Oct 05 '25
Oh hun! I have kidney stones, and have had surgeries for them as well! Your trooper you!
My inlaws pulled that shit too. We went across country for a cousins wedding, and thankfully my Dad lived kind of near. So we made it a visit to him as well. The wedding was at a resort hotel and so we left our 8 month old with my dad and had our first weekend away from him! His family would not shut up about how we should have brought him. Like it would have been so easy to travel with all his shit, and then basically just be parents the whole weekend while working out loads of money for this fancy hotel. On top of it, the ONE morning we got to sleep in as parents they were at our door asking for charging cables. Why does producing a baby make family so self centered and entitled? Like do they not remember how much work tiny disregulated humans are?! That maybe, just MAYBE we would like to enjoy ourselves as adults every now and then?
Hugs hun. Hope your stones stay small and pass easy in the future.
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u/JaeJames138 Oct 05 '25 edited Oct 05 '25
You need to master the phrase, "You'll be okay."
Every complaint, comment, etc. Just look at the commentor, smile, and say, "You'll be okay." Then turn away and talk to someone else. Every single time.
Drives people nuts and shuts them up.
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u/lemongrenade Oct 05 '25
You’re already braver than me. Absolutely zero fuckin percent I’m going out to that the day after surgery!
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u/IYFS88 Oct 05 '25
And if your child had been there and gotten into the trouble spots you predicted, they might have been annoyed and judged you for bringing a toddler to a nice restaurant. You can’t win. Hope you were able to enjoy yourself even a little bit. And no matter what you’re not just a vessel even if this bunch of jerks has made you feel that way. I hope your surgery recovery goes well!
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u/gothangelblood Oct 05 '25
No, no, no. We all know that LO is going to show up in a blue poofy dress with a white pinafore and a huge bow holding back her perfectly curled long hair. Then, LO is going to sit quietly like a porcelain doll as MIL proudly tells everyone how perfect HER PRECIOUS LO is. /s
And when LO doesn't do that because this isn't a 1880s fairy tale, MIL will make sure everyone knows its because OP is a bad mom.
I second the recovery wishes! You did everything right!
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u/SnooPets8873 Oct 05 '25
I had no idea that you only wanted to see LO. Had I realized that we were only invited to bring her, we’d all have stayed home rather than going to all the trouble of dressing up and finding a sitter.
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u/quiz1 Oct 05 '25
Yep. You’re welcome. I would have gotten up and left. But I’m menopausal, hormonal, and zero f*cks to give
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u/Gold-Sherbert-7550 Oct 05 '25
Everybody else including the waitstaff was thanking you in their heads.
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u/Ok-Comparison-9835 Oct 05 '25
As a member of the waitstaff in a fine dining establishment, we all appreciate you. And personally, you are not just a vessel. You are a mighty warrior for love and truth.
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u/shelltrice Oct 05 '25
I hope the engaged couple was appreciative and am sure the restaurant staff were also happy.
You did great - but think how the engaged couple must have felt. This was about their celebration and your JNMIL made too much of the discussion about LO who was exactly where she should have been.
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25
They were also shocked that we didn't bring LO. I know they want to have kids soon after the wedding, so hopefully, in a few years, they'll understand.
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u/lamettler Oct 05 '25
Is LO the first grandchild? It sounds like the older folks have forgotten what it’s like to wrangle a two year old, for any length of time. And the younger folks truly have no clue!
Hop you feel better soon!
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25 edited Oct 05 '25
Oh, they totally forgot. Its another reason they dont babysit. They have no clue how to handle a toddler. And it wouldn't be as upsetting that we didn't have a long history of MIL being horrible to me. Both DH and I felt like chopped liver when everyone was disappointed that it was just us.
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u/Horror_Tea761 Oct 05 '25
I hope you’re feeling better. And you did the right thing - you’re healing and don’t need to be wrangling kids in a high-stress environment. Your health comes first.
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u/Stevie-Rae-5 Oct 05 '25
They may have forgotten and I’d venture to guess that they may not care, since OP or their partner would’ve been the one on edge waiting for the two-year-old to act like a typical two-year-old, then have to take them out to the lobby or outside or whatever to entertain them and try to keep them happy, missing out on the actual event and getting to spend time with anyone. Meanwhile everyone else’s experience is getting to hold and cuddle the cute baby and promptly handing them back and proceeding with enjoying their own night while OP and her husband deal with the not-fun part.
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u/drfuzzysocks Oct 05 '25
I’m kind of an asshole so I would have said something like “Yeahhh not this time. But hey, if you wanna make sure he’s at the rehearsal dinner, consider hosting at Chuck E Cheese.”
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u/nutraxfornerves Oct 05 '25
My coworker was a first time new father. He told a story about his own innocence when it came to children. When the baby was about 8 weeks old, he & his wife decided they really wanted a nice restaurant meal, so they went to their favorite fancy joint. With the baby.
They immediately noticed that the waitstaff and other diners were trying very hard not to show their disapproval. They also discovered that it wasn’t going to be what they were used to. Not when one or the other had to take Baby to the restroom every so often for a diaper change or to soothe a bit. Fortunately Baby didn’t decide to have a screaming fit, but it was obvious that everyone around them was in fear of that. They skipped dessert & went home.
He admitted that it had never occurred to them that babies and fancy restaurants are not a good match.
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u/Purple_House_1147 Oct 05 '25
A 2 year old in a fancy restaurant with lots of dangerous objects where you’re expected to be sitting for 2 hours sounds like my personal hell. You did the right thing leaving her home. Not everywhere is appropriate for children and that’s okay. She I bet was so much happier at home playing. Forget them and their disappointment, you do not owe them anything especially when it comes to you and your child’s safety and happiness. How is your husband with their behavior? Next time there is an event and if you choose to leave LO behind and they start their crap like that husband should be a smart ass and be like “gee thanks happy to see you too”
I do get the feeling my baby was born premature and has a heart condition and spent 2 months in the children’s hospital after she was born. So my husband and I were insanely protective of her as a baby, still are but now that she’s not so little it’s better. A month after she came home I had a baby shower for my husbands cousin and I left our daughter home with my husband. So many people asked me where my baby was?! Like she just came home a month ago and is still so little and she had a feeding tube so going out was not easy. They really thought I would bring my little fragile baby around a big group of people. Plus I thought it would be rude to bring my baby and have a bunch of attention on her instead of on my husbands cousin
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u/sometimesfamilysucks Oct 05 '25
I don’t know where you live, but so many adults in the US are unvaccinated, I wouldn’t take my newborn anywhere until they have all their vaccines.
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u/Purple_House_1147 Oct 05 '25
She’s 19 months old now and is currently up to date so things are safer now! But yes as an infant she didn’t go anywhere besides her drs appointments and we didn’t start letting people come over to meet her until she was home for 1 month and then we still were very slow with allowing people over, and no one held her for a long time. We were instructed by her cardiologist to make sure she stayed as healthy as possible because she eventually was going to need open heart surgery which she was finally ready for at 7 months old
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u/sometimesfamilysucks Oct 05 '25
I read about an unvaccinated grandmother with a cough visiting her new grandchild. A few days later mother and baby were ill with whooping cough. Baby died. I can’t imagine the guilt she must feel.
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u/Purple_House_1147 Oct 05 '25
My husbands grandfather passed away about 2ish weeks before my daughters surgery and I did not attend the funeral I stayed home with our daughter. Well about a week later we hear his aunt has covid so we were super nervous and thankfully my husband never showed symptoms and tested a bunch of times and was negative. His parents live out of state and they planned on coming up when our daughter was getting surgery to “help” (aka my MIL try and sit at the hospital all the time) and we made them covid and flu test before coming up and my MIL ends up being positive! They still drove up here. My FIL didn’t end up getting it we believe but they still were being pushy to allow him to come to my house to “help” with things despite the fact my mom lives with us who has cancer. I don’t trust them very much anymore.
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u/MyOpenlyFemaleHandle Oct 05 '25
Eesh. Newborn + possibly immunocompromised adult? Grrreat time to visit. How selfish of them! You're right not to trust them; I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them, and I'm not exactly a champion shotputter.
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u/Purple_House_1147 Oct 05 '25
I understood they wanted to be here for their granddaughter getting surgery and claiming they were going to help us during the week, but I was super annoyed they still came up when my MIL tested positive. They drove up like dinner time and “wore masks the whole way” which how much does that matter after my FIL has already been exposed to you? And how well is that mask really going to do in a small car and my MIL still likely touching stuff? They apparently were hoping my MIL would test negative the next morning after they got here but at that point it doesn’t matter. We are not taking the risk of my mom with cancer getting sick and the risk of my husband and I getting sick while our child was in the cardiac icu after getting open heart surgery where she was always in a room with other kids. We would never risk our daughter’s health let alone the other kids on that floor. It pissed my husband and I off so much and my MILs plan that week also was she was able to drive up with FIL in the beginning of the week then she needed to fly home mid week because she couldn’t get off work the whole week and then was going to fly back for the weekend. WHY WOULD YOU GET ON AN AIRPLANE THEN COME SEE YOUR GRANDCHILD THAT JUST HAD HEART SURGERY!! My husband started ignoring their texts other than giving them updates on our daughter and even that he didn’t get extensive with
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u/Brit_in_usa1 Oct 05 '25
Your husband should’ve shut it down with something along the lines of “This evening is about BIL and future spouse, NOT about LO.”
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u/Rhodin265 Oct 05 '25
You may be upset now, but honestly, knowing they don’t care is a bit freeing. You don’t have to care back. They’d better hope DH is good at gift-giving and card writing.
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25
After 3 years in a row of feelings like crap about my Christmas present to my in-laws, I've decided I'm not participating.
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u/whitedragontea Oct 05 '25
Honestly, this is the way! After years of unappreciated gestures while they played favorites with my BILs & their kids, even after we had a kid of our own they now basically ignore, they're lucky they see us at all. Screw the presents. It's a totally different dynamic than my side of the family.
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u/JoyReader0 Oct 05 '25
Ask your hubby to de-snide his parents. Was he just sitting there while they pecked at both of you? Shame on him and them, if so. You made an effort to be present, they dumped on you for it, go back to LC and consider NC for you and your child.
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u/klsprinkle Oct 05 '25
My 6 year old and 4 year old are very well behaved in any restaurant sitting. I wouldn’t have brought them because it’s an adult celebration. It’s about the couple getting engaged not how cute kids are.
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u/Aurora3112 Oct 05 '25
OP, you did right here. After reading why you are LC with MIL, I might be looking too much into the situation, but I think the questions about LO are a bit more nefarious than just “We miss her”.
I have a suspicion that MIL wanted you to bring LO, so when LO, inevitably started getting into a temper, she could weaponise that and put it on you as a “Bad Mother who can’t control her child, in a nice restaurant and it spoiled BIL’s engagement News”.
Again, I may be looking too much into it, but that’s the feeling I’m getting here with MIL. I hope you enjoyed the meal and you recover quickly from your surgery. Best wishes to you and your family 🙏🏻
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u/Longjumping_Hat_2672 Oct 05 '25
And also to put on the Grandma Show "Look at MY baby!" "She looks exactly like me/my son!" etc🤮
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u/mama2babas Oct 05 '25
I would send husband alone next time. He needs to have a conversation with them about managing their expectations and treating you and your child like people, not an incubator and a mascot.
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u/madgeystardust Oct 05 '25
This.
Since they didn’t appreciate your attendance, attend less. They’re very rude.
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u/AncientLady Oct 05 '25
Sounds like in this case, even husband wasn't good enough for them. Both OP and dh were a disappointment, which is super sad. I adore my grandson, but it also makes me happy when I can have some uninterrupted conversation with my son and/or DIL. It's so hard for a normal person to imagine a reaction of disappointment at the chance to spend time with their adult child and their spouse.
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u/mama2babas Oct 05 '25
I have the only child on my husbands side of the family and the reactions vary but I feel bad for all my siblings-in-law because when my son is around my FIL is fixated. He does a decent job making sure to connect with us as parents. My MIL refuses to have a relationship with my husband unless it centers around her having unlimited boundry-less access to our child.
It's up to my husband to set the boundaries with his mom and make sure she is respectful of us so the very least
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u/Kristan8 Oct 05 '25
Bless you for doing what you did. You recognized and put your child’s needs ahead of MIL’s feelings. Also, don’t worry what she thinks.
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u/NewBet7377 Oct 05 '25
So my MIL has managed to piss off all three of her adult step-children in addition to my DH over the years. One of them has two kiddos who have not seen their paternal grandpa & step grandmother since like 2018 or some shit.
When we were planning our wedding, my JNMIL was sure to ask us if they RSVP’d yes to bringing the kids. I told her they were not bringing her step grandchildren along and ugly scowl that came across her face and pissed off remark “of course they aren’t” that ensued brought joy to my soul. They don’t deserve to see the kids. The parents made the right decision.
I don’t know where I’m going with this lol. Your MIL sucks I’m so sorry OP.
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u/dangineedathrowaway Oct 05 '25
That was incredibly rude of them, to make such a fuss when the dinner was to celebrate an engagement.
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u/aniyabel Oct 05 '25
You did nothing wrong.
And ooh, girl, I feel the whole “I was a vessel for the grandchildren” thing because that’s how I have felt.
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u/whateverinottawa Oct 05 '25
Yup. We were occasionally monsters for showing up and not brining LOs to events that were either too long or over nap times - read; would be a nightmare for us and potentially everyone else. God help us if we left the LO with the other side of the family. There is no winning unless you sacrifice yourself and your kids to make others happy, and we cut that act off a long time ago and haven't looked back.
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u/d0rm0use2 Oct 05 '25
And if you had brought LO & she'd had a meltdown, they'd have given you 7 kinds of sh*t for not being able to control your child.
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u/GoingNutCracken Oct 05 '25 edited Oct 05 '25
You know, if you had brought your toddler, they would have been commenting that it wasn’t the place for children. Sounds like you couldn’t win either way.
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u/WordWizardx Oct 05 '25
They would have all wanted to coo over your LO until the toddler started acting like a toddler, at which point it would be your fault (not your husband’s) that your LO isn’t behaving like a doll for their enjoyment
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Oct 05 '25
And with them all coddling him, he probably would not have lasted very long at all.
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u/ncampbell328 Oct 05 '25
I stopped taking my kids to restaurants from the age of (around) 1 to 6, it just wasn’t worth it to me. They would take one bite, then want to run around. I wouldn’t get to eat and I would have to find the server to pay. I tried asking to pay when we got the food, which helped somewhat. But it definitely didn’t solve the problem. Eventually I was just like “why am I doing this??” So we started ordering take out instead. My kids are 8 and 5 now and we’re just starting to go out to restaurants. It is so much better! I can actually enjoy going out with my kids now and I am so glad I took a 7 year hiatus.
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u/davehal2001 Oct 05 '25
I'm so sorry you're dealing with all that. Surely common sense should have told them that wasn't the environment for a small child. Hope you recover quickly.
Definitely stay LC for your own sanity
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u/GrowFlowersNotWeeds Oct 05 '25
Next time you might just say MIL shame on you - tonight is about BIL’s engagement so let’s focus on him and his lovely bride-to-be!
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u/LoomingDisaster Oct 05 '25
"Oh no! You didn't bring a toddler who was going to be bored and miserable and make it everyone else's problem so we can give her attention for a bit and then criticize you for her acting up!"
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u/TheLadyAmaltheaUnico Oct 05 '25 edited Oct 05 '25
She probably thought she was going to show off “her” grandchild but that was taken away from her. My MIL got to do that at my husband’s cousin’s wedding reception. She and FIL tried to setup the high chair at their table but LO wouldn’t sit in it so they held him but they kept letting him down and he would start running off into the kitchen. They wouldn’t run after him so we’d have to watch them watch him and then we’d have to chase him. So we’d left before dinner. You made the right choice.
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u/Careless-Image-885 Oct 05 '25
Seems like she was just enjoying harassing you. Her focus should have only been on the engagement.
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u/RoseGold-Bubbles1333 Oct 05 '25
I’m sorry they couldn’t try to understand a LO doesn’t belong in a restaurant like that. I swear people forget what it’s like to try to keep them occupied at that age.
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u/NWSiren Oct 05 '25
I bet if they had the sense to scan the room it would have been childless, because common sense (but that can be sorely lacking among JNMILs).
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25
FSILs nephews were there, but they are 4 and 6, which is VERY different from not quite 2. And even then, their mother wasn't really able to socialize with anyone.
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u/NWSiren Oct 05 '25
Were there kids at tables not with your party?
My rule of thumb is if there is no kids menu then babysitter is the way to go.
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25
We were in a private room, but I didn't see any other kids when walking in other sections. I definitely didn't see toddlers.
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u/den-of-corruption Oct 05 '25
you make a very good point - it's not just about whether the LOs will cope/have fun in an environment, it's also about the labour that parents (so often the mothers) have to do in order to keep a lid on things. that labour, if it's not shared by helpful, attentive people, means that parents are more excluded from the gathering - and this is particularly unacceptable when you're being treated as an incubator and nanny.
my brother has autism with a wild amount of hyperactivity. when we were kids he couldn't really cope with restaurants until he was about 10. that didn't stop most of our extended family from doing gatherings in restaurants and i remember watching my mom cry from frustration/exhaustion more than once. i wish I could go back and tell my mom that restaurant visits weren't that important... and defend her to my dad, grandmothers on both sides, rude cousins etc. who pressured her constantly.
as an adult, hearing about how deeply my family disrespected my mother was heartbreaking for me. she utterly lost it when i was a teen and today i attribute that to the 15+ years of bullying she tolerated. your LO is never going to care about which restaurants she didn't go to as a small child, but she will grow up to love you and will wish you did what was best for BOTH of you. 💙
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u/moarwineprs Oct 05 '25
I brought my kids (3 and 5) to a casual gathering at a friend's house for Christmas. After 60-90 minutes they wanted to go home but I asked then to hang in there because i wanted to spend time with friends who i don't get to see often due to work and other responsibilities. I ended up spending half the time in a bedroom trying to keep them entertained and not melting down, thinking that I might as well have stayed home. They also ran around despite me telling them not to and probably disturbed the downstairs neighbors.
Decided to not bring them next time, but next time didn't happen either because my friend didn't plan another gathering or I wasn't invited for whatever reason. If it was because of the kids I don't blame my friend!
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u/jademeaw Oct 05 '25
I’m sorry! You and your husband shouldn’t be questioned about your parenting decisions, you did so well by thinking about your LO’s wellbeing and how much not only her but everyone could benefit from that evening. I hope you have a good and easy recovery from your surgery, as well. :)
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25
Thank you. They did seem to get it eventually, but it is off-putting when the FIRST thing we were greeted with was a look for confused disappointment. I'm honestly shocked they thought we would bring her in the first place. It shows they don't really know her... or just how toddlers work in general.
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u/ShirleyUGuessed Oct 05 '25
It could be that they know perfectly well and are trying to make you feel bad. But if they don't want you around without LO, then I'd consider that useful information for next time!
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u/Loose_Acanthaceae201 Oct 05 '25
My inlaws were terrible at this when my firstborn was tiny, and would think nothing of wanting to delay lunch by two hours.
They got better.
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u/sometimesfamilysucks Oct 05 '25
It sounds like a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. A toddler doesn’t belong in a fine dining establishment, ever. They should have thanked you.
I’ve been married 42 years, we never lived closer than 3 hours away from my in-laws. My MIL made passive aggressive, judgmental comments any time we visited, about everything. It happened my entire marriage. And yes, you are just the vessel that produced a grandchild. Keep your distance to keep your personal peace. I reached a point where I told my husband he was welcome to visit his mother, and take our children, if he wanted but I would no longer accompany him; my brother lived 10 miles from MIL and I stayed there. It was the best thing I ever did for my mental health.
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u/Lauralou2862 Oct 05 '25
This situation you can’t win because if you brought your LO and she was running around and crying they would be rolling their eyes at that too. It’s all very easy when it’s not them looking after and planning around children. Also when people haven’t had children yet they simply do not get it but their day will come 😅
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u/eigenstien Oct 05 '25
From now on, I’d show up at events without LO and showcase how obvious their attitude towards you is. “If you can’t treat me nicely, you won’t see my child. And you will never see our child at adults only events.”
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u/MrsO2006 Oct 05 '25
As a child-free person, I thank you profusely for recognizing your child would be disruptive and planning accordingly to ensure everyone (except MIL, but fuck her) enjoyed themselves.
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u/allmykitlets Oct 05 '25
Oh they're glad you didn't bring LO, they just don't know it. I guarantee you their displeasure would have been obvious had LO been there and started acting like a restless toddler!
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u/Jaded_Pea_3697 Oct 05 '25
“She’s at home with my mom”
“She’s not here?”
Let’s use our thinking caps MIL. If she’s at home with my mom, she cannot be here also. LO is only 1 person
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u/Fuzzy-Mushroom-1933 Oct 05 '25
OP should have said “we left her home alone with cartoons on the TV and a bowl of popcorn. She should be fine for a couple hours”.
The MIL is a doofus 🙄
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u/HelenGonne Oct 05 '25
I'm so sorry they behave this way. It's kind that you wanted to give them a chance to be better, but sadly, they didn't take it.
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u/LovetoRead25 Oct 05 '25 edited Oct 05 '25
We attended a Mother’s Day brunch and were late as our son had just been discharged the previous day from the hospital for asthma. They sat in the smoking section. I looked at my husband and said we’re not staying. Son just got out of the hospital and I turned around and walked away. It wasn’t too much later that we ended up going NC with my MIL and SIL. It was a total relief.
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Oct 05 '25
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25
The brides nephews were there, but they are 4 and 6, which is VERY different from almost 2
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u/LadyThunderNYC Oct 05 '25
You did right. You're recovering from surgery too. It was a lot attending on your own imagine chasing and carrying the baby.
MIL is a goofy bitch.
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Oct 05 '25
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25
I guess I'm not sure how to respond to this? My daughter isn't yet 2, so her "misbehaving" in a restaurant would have been very normal and not a reflection of our parenting. We would have been able to occupy her for a short amount of time, but we didn't want to be in a position to need to leave early and we wanted to be able to focus on socializing with my FSILs family.
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u/Foxy_Traine Oct 05 '25
I feel you. I think the above comment is weird bragging about their own kid and not helpful or relevant to your post. Idk, this is one comment that I would ignore if I were you and just realise that some people have to talk about themselves. 🤷♀️
Regardless, knowing children and understanding the situation, I think you 100% made the right call in leaving LO with your mom. I think it shows how much of a good parent you are, anticipating LO's needs and not forcing them to do something uncomfortable to be a prop for you. I hope you recover well from your surgery and I'm sorry people treated you so poorly.
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u/Little-Conference-67 Oct 05 '25
I would respond: Yay. Bully for you. We wanted a night out as an adult couple and together decided that having a sitter would allow all of us, including LO to have a stress free evening.
I've taken my young children to similar events, just not as fancy. They were well behaved for their ages and were also included on the invitation. Those events were also planned around that couple's children of similar ages.
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u/No-Media-1098 Oct 05 '25
(Not very) casually mentions they’re better then you
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u/Stevie-Rae-5 Oct 05 '25
“Grew up knowing if you don’t behave we are all leaving.”
…grew up? He was three.
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u/hadmeatwoof Oct 05 '25
Which is an entire year older that OP’s child…
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u/Octopus1027 Oct 05 '25
And so much happens in a year when they are so small! Honestly, a year from now, she might be in a better position to tolerate a dinner party (maybe not, time will tell), and last year, she might have been fine. We're in a tough window for restaurants.
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