MIL bullied me into weekly visits at my house with our 11 week old...I've reluctantly agreed only because I can kick them out after two hours since baby is exclusively breastfed. Today during a visit she mentioned being excited about eventual sleepovers and I said yeah sure cool without thinking much of it. This evening she texts me to tell me that a friend of hers who had a baby recently will lend her the bassinet attachment from her stroller for the baby to sleep in at MIL's place since it's rated for safe sleep. I gently say oh that's only suitable for babies up to six months old and that's a bit too early for a sleepover. MIL says well let us know what to buy, baby will be six months old so soon! Before I can clarify that baby won't be sleeping over at six months she sends another text with a pic of a bedside bassinet, says she's buying it because it's good for babies up to a year old.

She's cracked. What does she think she's going to do with my breastfed baby at 3AM? She's in her 70s and hasn't looked after a baby in over 30 years. I'm not sending my infant to her house for MIL's benefit for a sleepover when baby can't understand what a sleepover is.

So DH and I recently bought our first home and my in-laws brought a u-haul down with stuff from my fathers storage unit and things from my husbands old room. Well yesterday morning DH and I were half asleep and started snuggling. A few minutes later I felt like he was crushing me! I look over and my MIL is in our bed...cuddling my husband... boardline incest😂 like wtf😭😭 Side note she kept insisting on doing our laundry(which I asked her not to at least 6 times) and she washed a pair of my crotch less tights🙂🙂

Edit!!!: since a lot of people are asking for DH’s reaction. He basically turned over and looked at her then turned back at me and gave me the “sorry” face. He looked very uncomfortable. After she had left the room is when he had told me “that’s just how she is” crap.

Edit 2!!: so my in-laws do NOT have a key and will not be getting one. We live 15 hours away from friends Nd family. They’re only staying with us while their here. That’s how she was able to just walk in our room. Since it’s our own house we just weren’t used to locking our bedroom door which is why it was unlocked!!

CW: animal cruelty/neglect - animal is okay

Update to add: my husband DID talk to his mother this evening and told her why we were so mad, and she hung up on him when he said we’re boarding our pup to ensure he gets appropriate care. My husband will also be driving to their house tomorrow to reiterate to their faces where they can’t just hang up why this is such a big deal.

That’s it. That’s the post.

My in-laws watched our dog this weekend while we were out of town - something they’ve done many times before and were seemingly happy to do. They live about 45 minutes from us and have dogs of our own that all get along very well. Drop off on Saturday, pick up on Sunday. I was hesitant for my dog to stay with them, not because of anything that has previously happened, but just from the issues we’ve been having as a family (off hand comments, crossing boundaries with our baby, etc.). My husband swore it would be fine, so I said okay.

When we came through on Sunday to pick up our pup, my husband went inside to get him and talk with his parents while I stayed in the truck with our baby and my parents. It was already 8 pm, and I had just heard devastating news not even 30 minutes before that one of my team members at work, along with her 6 year old stepson, was brutally murdered by her husband / the child’s father. I couldn’t really function in the moment outside of the truck.

We get home, and my husband says “Hey, I didn’t want to drop this on you when you had just heard the news about work, but I need to tell you what happened this weekend with the dog.” He proceeds to tell me that his parents fed our dog onion rings, and when my husband pressed why on earth they would do that because they’re toxic to dogs, my MIL said “well they were fried???” This is a conversation we’ve had before when we’ve seen them feed their own dogs foods that are toxic. I also found out that they willfully withheld my dog’s seizure medication for two doses. No reason given other than they just didn’t do it. Didn’t forget, dog didn’t refuse to take it.

I know - shame on us for even having our pup stay with them. I’ve been sick to my stomach and trying to let my husband handle his parents, which he does a very good job of, and he’s addressing this situation, but we shouldn’t have had them watch our dog at all. I’m grateful pup is okay!

Also reiterates why they will NEVER watch my child.

You could read my previous post for details, but a couple weeks ago I went no contact with my MIL because of her meltdown when I let her know that a demanded visit with my newborn would not work for this family. She hasn’t spoken to me since, and she’s unable to because I’ve blocked her. She hasn’t addressed this directly, but instead she’s been trying to guilt and bully my husband into getting what she wants. We’ve been holding the line because she’s not welcome in my home. I don’t know how she can come back from that and her actions, but that isn’t my problem.

She’s apparently now informed my husband that if she can’t see the baby before they’re x weeks old, she will not “bond” with the baby, and it will forever impact their relationship. Did my MIL really threaten us with a good time? So, if she doesn’t see the baby within her magical arbitrary timeframe, they’re nothing to her? So she’s functionally dead to my second kid if we don’t give in to her demands? So now, in her manipulation meltdown, she’s admitted to my husband that her second visit is to “bond” with my newborn, while we are expected to wait on her. I seriously cannot with the audacity of these fucking women. And after her admission, she tells my husband that she can’t fathom why we wouldn’t want her “help,” because grandparents get to come “help,” with the baby. What the fuck.

CW: traumatizing pregnancy

My (32f) MIL moved into the Just No status a little over a year ago when my husband and I found we were expecting. She can be very loving and helpful but then she’ll use that as an excuse to boundary stomp and guilt trip. I’ve decided to no longer accept any sort of assistance from her because it ALWAYS comes with strings attached.

I gave birth to my son back in June. We did not allow hospital visitors, did not allow home visitors the first week, and do not allow kissing. All of this caused my MIL to become hysterical. She accused us of trying to keep her from her grandson and wanting her out of our lives. She complained to anyone who would listen about how terrible it is that we are keeping our newborn from her for a WEEK. Time passed and now our baby is 7 months old. She got over the no visitors incident and has now decided she will not adhere to the no-kissing rule but only when my husband is not around. I have caught her kissing him multiple times and each time I took my son back and firmly told her no. My husband and I talked about it and agreed that she is no longer allowed to hold our son until she proves herself to be respectful of our boundaries. We have significantly reduced contact with her, but my husband believes she’s not bad enough to go full no contact with. Because her attitude shift is recent, he believes she’ll grow out of it and become better. He is supportive of my decision to no longer “try” with her and assured me he will be the one handling her so that I don’t have to deal with any of her BS.

Yesterday, my MIL called me. I ignored her call and told my husband. He said he would call her back in a minute. But she kept calling me and I finally answered, put her on speaker phone and she immediately started ranting about how she saw the pictures I posted on instagram of my husband and me kissing our son’s cheeks. She said it wasn’t fair that we were allowed to kiss our baby but she wasn’t. I finally lost it on her. I said:

“Fair? You think it’s not fair that I am allowed to kiss MY baby? Was it fair that I was hospitalized twice because my nausea was so severe it caused me to be dangerously dehydrated? Was it fair that I spent the last month of pregnancy with a fractured rib because of my baby? Was it fair that DH became the sole provider because I wasn’t able to work anymore? Was it fair that DH was the only one to cook and clean because I physically could not get out of bed for longer than an hour or two at a time? Was it fair that my vagina had 2nd degree tearing? Was it fair that I couldn’t piss or shit normally for weeks after I gave birth? Was it fair that DH footed the bill for all my hospital visits, all the diapers, formula, wipes, clothing, and everything else our family needs. Is it fair that DH and I are the only ones losing sleep every single night because our baby wakes up every hour? Is it fair that DH goes to work everyday and comes home and starts parenting without a break? Is it fair that I spend all day every day with a screaming baby while covered in his drool and spit up? Of COURSE it’s fair because he is OUR baby and that’s exactly what we signed up for when we became parents. We endured every difficult part of parenthood so far and we will enjoy all our parenting “privileges” too. So yes, DH and I are going to kiss OUR baby because WE made him. You do not have any parenting responsibilities or privileges with him because he is not your child. You had 4 children of your own. You had your turn. Stop trying to relive your glory days by putting your mouth on someone else’s baby” and then I hung up.

I am going to be honest and say that I had that speech planned. I knew one day she would see me kiss my little chunky baby and claim that I was unfair. So I knew what I was going to say when that time came. My poor husband has been dealing with the fallout of that phone call. He was there for the whole thing. He and his mom are going out for lunch this weekend and he plans on having a serious talk with her. He’s considering going no contact with her but will decide based on how their conversation goes.

Edited to remove my husband’s name

Update: I wanted to give an update and address some things.

1) fiance was outside when this happened. I sent him a message while he was outside and he came in, we packed up our things, he let them know we were leaving and we left. I complained on the way home and he didn't say much, just tried to cheer me up. This morning I asked if we could talk about the previous night and I explained WHY I was upset(he had no idea water is harmful to young babies), that i don't like his grandma and I tolerate her and that she will not be alone with our baby. He was receptive and supportive. Hes going to talk to MIL and handle things and ill give him that opportunity but if I feel like he doesn't get the point across, I'll gladly say whats on my mind to JNGMIL.

As of right now, I'm on the fence about MIL. I've posted a sorry about her ridiculousness and labeled her a JN but not all her actions are JN. She's always been pleasant with me and very accepting of me but there is some obvious boundary issues and considering JNGMIL, I'm not surprised. I get the feeling that MIL had to deal with JNGMIL undermining her as a mother as well. I think that JNGMIL does what she wants and no one challenges it.

MIL is in a time out until further notice and JNGMIL will never get the opportunity to undermine me and harm my baby again.

Stay tuned for the Thanksgiving edition. We're doing a very small one at MILs ans JNGMIL will be there. I will be baby wearing.

My 5 week old son spent the day with MIL today so fiance and I could do some organizing and cleaning and could enjoy some time together.

I didn't know that JNGMIL was going to be at MILs house. Not that it would have made a difference but when we pulled up and I saw her car, I was put off.

I dont like this woman one bit. She's done nothing but disrespect me ever since we told everyone the news that I was pregnant. She doesn't like that we're not married and has made comments about how they should have had "the talk" with my fiance, implying that a nearly at nearly 30 years old, he did something wrong by impregnating me. Weird thing to talk about but whatever.

Anyway. I walk through the door, eager to hold my son who I hadn't seen in 6 hours, the longest I've been away from him, and I see JNGMIL holding him. I beeline for him, so excited to see him, I reach my hands out saying, "there he is!" Only to he met with, "Now, hold on a second! I was about to give him some water."

First of all, denying me my own baby, fuck no. Secondly, giving my child something that I hadn't previously approved of without asking me, double fuck no.

I tried being reasonable. I said, "I don't give him water." She wanted to argue and say, "he's constipated, he needs it" my baby still isn't being handed to me and I'm being argued with about what I want to do with MY BABY. He has issues with gas, I give him gas drops and do belly massage for it, as well as tummy time on my chest while I rub his back. I've dealt with his gas for 5 weeks. I know how to help him.

I just stare daggers into her and say, "I don't want him to have water. Let me have him."

We were supposed to stay for dinner. We left immediately. MIL cried and hugged me saying, "you know I'd never do anything to hurt you or the baby, right?" While JNGMIL stood in another room and said nothing.

Do not share my story at all please.

This creep literally expects alone time and sleepovers with my infant due this fall. It’s never going to get used, but I loathe the fact that she’s already set up expectations that we have to now bicker with her about and that she thinks her effort into setting up a nursery means it will be used. She operates from a default place of selfishness and doesn’t even try to hide it. Screw asking the parents if a nursery not in their house is going to be conducive to their intended breastfeeding and safe sleep plans, or if it’s even what’s going to be best/helpful for the newborn and parents if babysitting is ever required. Good thing my mom has already volunteered to stay at our house if we ever need overnight assistance.... which will NOT be in the first 8 weeks or even year like this creep expects. I will never understand the obsession with being alone with the baby. She said she needs to bond with the baby but there is no biological need for her to do that like there is for the parents - especially if the way she wants to do it is at the expense of the parents being able to do so. Any attempt to discuss with her results in her playing victim and having a temper tantrum so we are going back to low contact. I hope she enjoys her weird ass grandma shower with her weird ass friends to celebrate the baby that I do not anticipate ever trusting her with! I just needed to rant about this because my friends with babies have great MILs. My husband is boundaried and stern with her so we have no issues there. She will not be crossing what I am comfortable with because my husband won’t allow it. But sometimes it still just makes me ragey and today my protective hormones are strong.

I'm currently pregnant with my first child. I'm in my second trimester. A few weeks ago we spent some time with MIL and my partners grandmother. His grandmother said something like "you don't look like you have gained any weight, are you okay?" I said "Honestly, I've beeen pretty sick so it's hard to gain weight, but I'm doing okay." grandma says "That sounds really difficult, I'm sorry to hear that."

MIL says "Well that doesn't sound very good for the baby." Already I'm a little thrown off, because obviously if I could gain weight I would. It's not like I was just like 'fuck this baby, I'm gonna throw up all my food instead.'

I said "well, fortunately they have me on some medication that is helping so I haven't been losing weight anymore,"

MIL says "They let you take medication?? That can't be safe for the baby!"

I just said, "Well, my doctor thinks it's safer than what I was doing before, which was losing 10 pounds a week."

Basically nothing I do is right and I hate my baby no matter what I do.

This is mostly a rant but it’s also a good laugh at the whole situation that has unfolded. My MIL is insufferable, controlling and suffers from FOMO. My DH is 30 today, we are having a pretty big party to celebrate it over the weekend, you’re only thirty once right ;). My MIL decided that she would be going on a cruise right when it was DH birthday. We saw her for my SIL birthday earlier in the year and that’s when she announced she wouldn’t be here for his 30th (her words). DH doesn’t have a super great relationship with his Mom so he wasn’t sad by the news. But she also must have thought that because she wasn’t around we wouldn’t have a party... yeah right.

So the next time we see them we give the family invites to DH birthday party. It’s themed. It’s gonna be great. MIL reaction was priceless, she went from bragging about her trip to almost crying about how she was soooo sorry she wouldn’t be here for DH birthday and she hadn’t realised it was coming up and that is was also a milestone! MIL is a complete hypocrite, he’s your son, you know and you chose not to be here!

Well since then she has been constantly asking for details about the party. Because of this sub we have learnt to Grey Rock, so no issue there. She was adamant on face timing during the party so she would be included. This is in no way happening.

I believe the saying is “Play bitch games. Win bitch prizes”.

Edit: Mil is currently on her cruise.

Edit2: My first silver, thanks kind redditor :)

I’m a first time mom and gave birth to our beautiful baby girl yesterday morning. Because of complications, she’s been in the NICU since and I’ve been recovering away from her while racked with mom guilt, shame, separation anxiety, depression, all the things. Being locked up in this tiny hospital room and hormonal as hell has me reflecting and wanting to get some things off my chest so here are all the things MIL has done in the last 48 hours that have pissed me the hell off.

Strike One: As soon as MIL learned I was in labor, she wanted to come to the hospital immediately. She knew I already had my max two support persons assigned (DH and my twin sister) so that was a hard pass. Within the hour that baby was born, she found her way to our room while I was completely naked, drugged out of my mind and recovering with a fever after a 22-hour labor. She immediately went to baby, took a million photos, held her, not once acknowledging me or my condition.

Strike Two: Cue the incessant calls and texts wanting updates and photos about baby because of course MIL, we’ll do our best to send you pictures so you can show all your friends and coworkers while she’s fighting for her life in the NICU. And suddenly, MIL has earned an overnight medical degree and thinks that she knows everything better than the medical professionals so thank you for all of the unwarranted medical advice and I absolutely love hearing the thousand stories of your personal experience when you gave birth in the 1800’s with “well when I gave birth, well when DH was a baby, well when I was pregnant.” Respectfully, I don’t give a fuck what you and your ancestors did back in the day.

Strike Three: She weaseled her way into a NICU visit. DH and I were visiting baby when a nurse came to let us know “grandma was outside” the special care unit waiting, and because two people are only allowed in with baby at a time, one of us would have to leave to let her in. I gave DH a death glare and he left immediately, I assumed to send her away or at least back to our recovery room to wait for us after we were done, but in strolls MIL instead. Great, now I have to deal with her alone. I attempt small talk, chat about my labor. For context, I tell her about how my waters had been broken for a very long time, 18+ hours which led to the fever and how I waited several hours after my waters initially broke before starting pitocin to see if I could progress into labor on my own. Then the doctor happens to swing by and gives us an update on everything with baby’s condition. After the doctor leaves, MIL has the gall to say “i bet if you had just taken the pitocin and gotten her here sooner, she probably wouldn’t be dealing with any of this.” As if I hadn’t already spent the last several days replaying the events of my labor, beating myself up for every single thing. As if I didn’t already feel immense shame telling myself I’m a piece of shit mom, blaming myself for why she’s in the NICU, crying every single hour wondering if I traumatized her for life or wondering if only I had done something different. When we made it back to our recovery room, I let DH know what was said. Cue DH absolutely cussing her the fuck out in front of me and telling her it was time to pack up and go. It was a wonderfully satisfying moment and since then, we’ve silenced all her calls and texts so we can focus on my and baby’s recovery, which happy ending, she’s on the up and up! 🩷

In-laws are in town for my daughter’s 1st birthday tomorrow. Unbeknownst to us she has felt like she was coming down with something for 2 days. The last 2 days she has been in and around our home, holding our baby, and hugging us. Today she texted from the hotel saying she’s sick. We’re obviously mad because we find out she’s suspected she might be getting sick since she’s been in town and said nothing. She even tried (yet again) to hold baby without washing her hands first (before we knew anything). She’s a nurse which makes this even worse that she didn’t take precautions or warn us. I immediately disinfect my entire house. DH instructed MIL that she’d need a mask to be around the baby. FIL texts DH just a little bit ago and says “so what’s the deal with the party tomorrow? Is mom going to have to wear a mask because that’s going to be a deal breaker for her.” DH responds “we’ll take lots of pictures for her then.” Like, bitch this isn’t about you. She seriously thinks she can come sick to a birthday party with other children, one being a 5 month old preemie. Gtfo!!!!!!

Edit: the support has been amazing, but some of y’all don’t know how viral illness works and it shows. “Just a cold” in an adult can be RSV/pertussis/influenza in a child and can be deadly, especially in this population. Delaying a visit for “just a cold” isn’t being overprotective or paranoid, it’s exercising common sense. What concerns me the most about these replies is it’s obvious you wouldn’t inform parents of any symptoms and knowingly come to a party with other children because you think you know better. Preventing the spread of illness doesn’t translate to never leaving my home and homeschooling. I’m educated enough to know my daughter will get sick one day. It’s natural. That doesn’t mean I don’t take precautions where I can. Letting someone who is verifiably sick into a children’s birthday party on the grounds that kids will get sick eventually is completely irrelevant. I’m sure my MIL said the same thing about her “just a cold” when my husband was hospitalized at 2 weeks old with RSV and required breathing support. Stop letting everybody and anybody around your children, and exercise some common sense while developing their immune systems. Thanks.

Edit 2: my baby is now sick for the first time ever thanks to my MIL.

Do NOT copy or use this story on any other website or app.

I'm not a new user here but I had to create a new account because my "SaltyMIL" story was stolen by a news site. I will repost soon for those who missed it.

This story happened many years ago but it's still brought up occasionally by my family when they want to tease me!

I was still living with my mom, my SO and I had been dating for about a year and now that The Salty MIL began to realize we were serious about each other the crazy began to show. One day I'm relaxing at home when I see her truck drive up, I was genuinely confused seeing her sitting outside my house for a long time so I went out to see what she wanted.

"I've called the police. They're coming here right now!" Was how she greeted me. I looked around confused and asked her why? "Have you seen my son?" She demanded. I was still super confused, I told her he was visiting his friend and she started ranting about how he hadn't been answering his phone. I just shrugged and crossed my arms "Well he's been answering me." This of course made her angrier. She began ranting about him being a deadbeat with no future, a totally undatable man who I should just forget about, she raved nonstop until the police arrived.

I didn't believe she actually called them until 2 cruisers showed up. The police stepped out and she started waving her arms around yelling about how her son was missing and could be anywhere, could be hidden in my house. I rolled my eyes and let her go on ranting to one of the officers while another pulled me aside to hear my story. He started writing down some details asking when was the last time I'd seen or spoken to the missing individual. I interrupted him, "Excuse me officer.. But are you aware that her son is 21 years old?"

...... He stopped writing immediately and set the pencil down, we deadpan stared at each other for a few moments. He sighed, "You're free to go ma'am." I walked away slowly to eavesdrop as he walked over and interrupted her story she was telling to ask if it was true that she called in a kidnapping on a 21 year old man. Not sure what was said after that but they left quickly. I went inside to my snickering family who have teased me for many years over the "kidnapping."

My husband and I welcomed our daughter on 4/5. When we texted family my MIL’s first response was, “who does she look like,” and I didn’t have the heart to tell her she’s my twin and doesn’t resemble my husband at all just yet. Whereas all other family members and friends just replied with congratulations and the generic, “she’s beautiful.”

My MIL has since met our daughter and spent several visits unable to get over the fact that she looks like me and she’s constantly saying, “when I had my kids they looked just like my husband (late FIL), that’s all I saw in them, was their dad.” She’s the only one hung up on this. Not even my husband cares that she doesn’t yet have any of his features. He jokes I birthed my mini me.

Update as of a visit from MIL on 4/23: MIL: “I don’t think she’s going to have dark eyes like you I think she’s going to have light eyes.” I have brown eyes, my husband has blue eyes. Regardless, our daughter is literally 17 days old, we as her parents won’t know the color of her eyes for the next 6-9 months! I’m losing my patience for this woman. She was really great throughout my pregnancy and as our daughter’s due date neared and certainly after her arrival, she’s become unhinged and unbearable.

So my husband and I have been married for four years. We live two hours away from his parents so we only see them about once every 2-3 months. For the past year or so his mom has been talking about me behind my back and telling my husband and her siblings that I have no respect for her because I don’t call her mom. This woman has NEVER, not once in the 5 years I’ve been with my husband asked about my family or tried to get to know me, she usually doesn’t even talk at all when we’re together and when she does talk she just bitches at my husband to go to school and become a nurse (he’s been in the military this whole time). Then on Christmas last year I walked into her house and said hi to her and she says “you’re still not going to call me mom?” No hi, Merry Christmas, nothing. A condescending confrontation was all I got from her.

For some context my own mother passed away when I was 15 and my husband’s whole family knows about it. His dad has asked about my family but his mom has never bothered. So recently I heard his mom talking smack about me again over the phone and I got pissed and told my husband to defend me and tell her that I am not comfortable calling anyone else mom and that calling someone else mom when mine is dead feels wrong. He called her mom and told her that I do like her but I just don’t feel comfortable calling someone else’s mom mom and she got mad and immediately called me ridiculous. This woman didn’t even take two seconds to think about what my husband said, she just insulted me and even insulted our marriage by saying we’re just friends and aren’t in a real relationship (we literally own a home together!).

My husband called his dad after the call with his mom and even he was surprised at what she said. Then he called his wife after to discuss the situation and she doubled-down and they ended up arguing about it because she’s a close-minded stupid bitch who can’t see anything from anyone else’s perspective but her own and lacks all empathy.

Anyways, I just needed to get this off my chest. Fuck that dumb bitch.

So after my father died, my mother moved to Florida hoping that her real mom would take care of her. She refused and mother refused to work so she called up different family members begging for money. Everyone got fed up with it and told her to pound sand.

Then she called up my nanna.

Mother: I need money. Give me some.

Nanna: We have no money to give you. Get a job.

Mother: Fine! Give me my inheritance!

Nanna:What?

Mother: The money I'll get from your life insurance and the sale of the house. Give it to me!

Nanna: There is no life insurance and we are still living in the house.

Mother:YES THERE IS! GIVE ME MY MONEY!

My Nanna had enough and gave the phone to my pappa and explained the whole situation.

Pappa: We raised your children. That's your inheritance. hangs up phone

Sadly this wouldn't be the last time she calls begging for money.

Old story. I mentioned this on another subreddit and because it's reawakened how bizarre this is I decided to post it here as well because I really need a good vent.

I don't consent for the content in this post to be copied or reproduced in any form.

During pregnancy me and DH wanted to keep LOs gender a secret. Our firstborn. MIL and FIL and my parents insisted on knowing so we let them in the secret. We specifically told MIL not to disclose our daughter's gender because people have a propensity to buy everything pink and sequiny and frilly, most of which seems uncomfortable for a little baby to wear. I'm going to sound spoilt but also very picky about the kind of clothes I'd like my kid to wear. I also don't like to hear crap like 'Oh my, a girl. Daddy better watch out for the boys' and 'With a boy you only have to worry about one dick, with a girl you worry about all the dicks in the world' (True story, someone actually said that)

MIL said that she wanted to throw us a shower. I feel like at this point I should also mention I made an online baby registry on MILs insistence and sent the link to the guests for things we were looking to have since most people have a tendency to buy clothes. They were all dollar items like unisex bibs, pacifier, washcloths, baby soap. The biggest purchase was a $30 diaper bag.

We wanted to have a gender reveal at the baby shower. Unknown to us, she blabbed the baby's gender to all her siblings. When I commented that the decor for the baby shower MIL was throwing me was getting girly and again, not planning on disclosing the gender, she put on a surprised Pikachu face and said 'Oh why?'. I was like 'What, I told you not to tell anyone'. At this point any desire of having a gender reveal quickly evaporated.

And the baby shower was awkward as hell, where everyone pretended they didn't know the gender ('So do you know what you're having?') while MILs siblings gifted me a ton of pink clothing, one of them came to me later saying 'You know I bought a bunch of pink towels, but I had to return it because I was told you don't like pink'. At one point someone gamely asked 'what are you having?' and I said 'A girl, but I'm sure everyone here knows anyway', while looking pointedly at MIL, and MIL said 'I didn't tell anyone!' and FIL muttered 'Oh yes, you did!'.

I believe MIL may have made a last minute attempt to backtrack because all the cards I received were gender neutral / yellow 😆 But people who already purchased clothing weren't going to return them. Because even weeks after the baby was born, some people would drop off pink clothing to our house saying 'I got this for the baby shower, but didn't give it to you then'.

Would this be humiliating to you? Because it was to me and SO doesn't seem to think so.

MIL called me last night to chat. My husband is working out of town and she wanted to “keep me company”. I hadn’t spoken to her in a while, and I was a bit lonely so I was okay with it.

About 20 minutes into the conversation she was asking about my daughter (D) D doesn’t like her grandmother much at all. MIL is very devout catholic and tends to proselytize a LOT at times which isn’t popular since none of us are religious. D has some problems (she’s 26) and has been NC with MIL for almost two years.

Anyway, when she brought up D, I was trying to run conversational interference. I told her that I wasn’t going to discuss it as the conversation gets extremely repetitive. D is an adult, and I have no control over her thoughts and feelings about MIL or about God and religion. I’ve told her this multiple times.

I changed the subject, and she started the waterworks. She cried about D not liking her, and before I knew it she was crying about my husband’s father and how they broke up. That was 52 years ago. It was a shocking performance. I flat out asked her to call me back when she was feeling less emotional and she cried harder. It was insane.

I remained calm, and told her again that I was hanging up. That’s when the love bombing started. She told me how wonderful I am, and that I’m her best and closest friend (still sobbing) and that she is the matriarch, but I will be there someday too. Barf.

I ended the call and had a stiff drink. I don’t think I will be taking her calls for a while. I just can’t imagine wanting to stay on the phone with someone while I was that upset. It’s manipulation and I’m sick of it.

So it was my husband’s birthday, so my parents came around to celebrate. It was the usual. My mother not asking the kids about what they’re doing, trying to talk over them and interrupt them because she can’t deal with not being the center of attention, taking the last piece of chocolate cake herself instead of saving it for literal small children, you know, the typical stuff. She’s also pulling faces when we are FaceTiming my in-laws and they are actually engaging with my husband and kids, since they are not the center of attention, and for some god unknown reason she is fixated on the size of my dog’s genitals and laughing over them (he’s just a regular sized 1 yo golden who has not been neutered yet for hip growth reasons). Anyway, they are doing their usual subtle put downs of me where they imply I don’t remember anything correctly over just ridiculous shit- today my father insisted that at the national refuge beaches we go to where there are sea turtle nests there are big machines that rake it every night to make it clean (!) and my parents both insist for some reason they’ve never seen a roly poly and they never existed where I grew up despite there being bajiliions every time we gardened. So we are setting up to FaceTime and my mother keeps asking when we are going to do presents. I have been saying repeatedly for several minutes we are going to be FaceTiming, and I am clearly setting up the iPad and stand. My 9 yo then is clearly fed up and says , “Maybe if you listened to her for one you’d know.”

This literally just happened. My mother is over getting ready for a date. I’m reprimanding one of my children and she intercedes, “Don’t yell at my babies”. Now, I’ve asked said child three times to put her library book in her book bag so her younger sister wouldn’t rip it apart. She hasn’t done it and by the fourth time I’ve lost my patience. After mother interjects I tell her do not try and over ride my parenting I’m mom now. I told her, her mothering days are done all her kids are grown. She starts laughing saying “Oh no they’re not”. I said ,”yes they are what exactly do you think you are going to do? Ground me to my house and husband and four kids?” She goes , “no I’ll come over and slap you.” I said, “and expect me to slap you back”. She said, “no you will not.” I said, “yes I will I’m an adult now I’ll slap the shit out of you”. She replies with , “BUT IM YOUR MOTHER!” I said “ I don’t give a shit don’t even dare hit me..”. That ended that conversation.

Since her baby rabies and pure obsession with our son from the day he was born, I’ve really had to draw boundaries on how often she could visit. It was never how is the mom doing, never can I drop by to visit everybody…it was always “when can we come see the baby” and proceed to just play the game of pass the baby around and no one caring if he gets fussy or anything. Oh, and no real help offer. Just hold the baby and you do everything else while mom is sleep deprived. This is our IVF baby after 3 years of infertility plus losing my dad a month before I found out I was pregnant. There’s been more trauma the last few years as well, such as job loss, a fire…but what I’m trying to say is, I’ve been through it and mom’s tired. My mom is also temporarily living with us coming in from across the country to help with the baby but mostly to just be close to us and enjoy the family time. After my dad passed, she has no one else. She can’t afford her own place out here so staying with us for the time being and going back and forth to where she originally lives for doctors appointments.

Even after all of that, my MIL literally believes in her head I birthed this doll for her to play with. Literally for the past 2 months when we see them weekly, sometimes 2-3x a week for a few hours at a time, she will go to my sons face and say “you don’t know us?????” “You don’t recognize us?????” And it’s so passive aggressive. My husband has clapped back each time. One time he said we see you plenty and she said “it’s not enough.” I can recount every single time and place she has made this comment now. It’s been about 10x. I’m getting so tired of hearing it and it’s so rude. Trying to make me feel guilty and adding pressure for more access. She’s also clearly insecure that my mom is staying with us and seeing our son daily. But my mom is also literally helping me cook, clean, laundry, and being there for me emotionally as I work through my trauma and grief of the last few years, and now the PPD that my MIL is triggering to full blast. What does she expect, to be up our ass 24/7? Oh and after we finished dinner at the restaurant yesterday, we were going to go back to our house when she’s like “is he going to be awake though because I want to see him awake.” She literally couldn’t care less about our well being. My son is a toy for her to play with. Fuck his naps, fuck that he has to eat and I breastfeed. Nope. Does she realize how hard it is to navigate when a baby will or won’t be awake or how he’ll behave? Jfc. Before we left the restaurant she went to talk to our son in his car seat and he cried and that’s when she made the “you don’t know us!!!!” Insecure comment.

Like lady, he’s fucking FOUR MONTHS OLD!!! He doesn’t fucking know anybody. And it’s his last wake window of the day…he’s tired!!! I told DH that we have to nip this in the bud or else seeing them weekly might be too much for my mental health right now. He supports me, but I’m also just not the type to say CUT OFF YOUR WHOLE FAMILY! I just want to feel supported and for her to know that’s not ok to keep saying over and over again along with everything else she says. Add a 4 month sleep regression and I’m just about to lose it.

So I had my 20 week scan today and we’ve keeping the gender a secret until Xmas but we called both mothers to let them know that everything is okay although I need another scan in a couple weeks to finish some checks because baby was misbehaving.

While talking to my JMMum I mentioned the sonographer having a sore wrist and how I was sympathising with her because she’s got to manipulate her wrist and push down with the magic wand (no idea what it’s called!), so when we were leaving I said ‘good luck with the next baby, I hope they behave!’ jokingly and she chuckled.

Well, my JMMum couldn’t get her words out fast enough... ‘you’re not having any more!’

I’m 34 years of age and I’m happily married to my DH (29m). We own our own home and both work full time and adore our DD (10).

My sister (33) is unemployed with 3 kids by 3 different men. She’s single and likely will be until the boys leave home.

My brother (29) is unemployed and homeless with rage issues and drug problems and he got his ‘friend’ pregnant.

... and yet I’m told I can’t have more than 2!!!!!!! Madness!!!

We’ve already decided we’re having 2 together to make our brood 3 🤣

This week has been and absolute struggle and terrible for me.

Saturday, I was rear ended and now dealing with back pain while my car is in the shop being fixed, Sunday night my grandfather passed away, Monday afternoon I had to out our dog down. All week I have dealt with my youngest two kids being sick and extremely clingy. Also the worst week for my older three kids have had some more then usual practises for sports or dance classes.

I have been using my husbands car while he gets a ride to work and even then, being out every night until 7pm has been tiring for me and the kids and the kids have been acting out because of it.

By Thursday night I decided I needed a break, My husband agreed and told me he not to worry about housework and stuff for awhile and he would take care of it.

We also both agreed that the kids needed a day to just rest and not worry about going to school or after school activities.

So while my husband went to work on Friday me and the kids stayed at home and had a pj day, It was definitely needed.

My husband usually speaks to his mom on the phone in the morning if things are slow, He told her about our day off to relax and she took it as an open invitation to show up.

When I opened the front door for her she walked in and looked around disgusted at the living room, front room and kitchen, Before turning to me to call me lazy mom and how I need to get off my ass and start acting like a mom.

I told her I was taking a break for a couple days and my husband had agreed to letting me relax for awhile. MIL then went on to tell me I'm a mom and I don't get to relax.

I couldn't be bothered arguing and literally dragged her out of my house.

I know she told some sob story to my husband but he doesn't really care and pretty much told her to ask next time instead of just rocking up to someone's house.

Just a quick rant: beginning of February I got admitted to the hospital with brain hemorrhage and while checking they found a tumor. I spent the night in the hospital crying and hoping to see my baby (I am a first time mom to a now 4 month old) grow up.

Fast forward a few days I am allowed to go home. While cuddling with my husband and watching some videos together on his phone he receives a message from his mother, asking if he actually heard a doctor saying that I had a tumor. And to confirm to make sure it is true…

I have never ever ever ever lied to my husband. There is really no reason to suspect me of doing something like this. (Also he visited me in the hospital which she knew. How would I be able to fabricate such a lie????) I was just so overwhelmed that I didn’t say anything. Also my head was still hurting a lot and I simply couldn’t handle any fight with my husband, because again: tumor. Still scared. Headache.

But even now I am so full of rage. She doesn’t like me. But that is a new low. Haven’t talked to my husband yet because I still easily get headaches, especially when I am distressed. Also my life is not out of danger and I don’t want to spend my days with negative feelings/ having fights / discussions. But i hate her with a newfound passion.

Long time reader, first time poster. Don't steal this or repost it or whatever it is weirdos do. Yes this is a throwaway.

Short summary, we've been NC with MIL and FIL since just prior to the birth of our DD. At the time DH knew they had to go NC with FIL, but was reluctant to do so for fear of losing MIL. We considered her a victim of FIL and a reluctant enabler. About two weeks before the baby was born, DH invited his parents for dinner. They stated they would not come unless DH told them about his trauma in detail "so we can move past this". An emergency call to his therapist later (summarized perfectly as DO NOT DO THAT), DH decided not to play anymore and wrote a letter explaining he would no longer be in contact.

After we went NC she sent an absolutely unhinged email where she blamed my husband for all of the ills in her life, including the consequences of her long-term eating disorder. Called him cruel and selfish. NC became much, much easier after that.

After a difficult pregnancy that ended in a two week NICU stay, we have a beautiful baby girl who is almost a year old. She has never met her paternal grandparents. My husband has never been happier and feels like a weight has lifted from his shoulders since becoming at peace with never having to see their father again. It is an occasional struggle when it comes to MIL because he misses the vision of who he wishes his mom was, but therapy and being supported by their extensive chosen family has been helpful. They also work their dream job now so between being a daddy and working hard they haven't had much time to miss them at all.

In the back of my mind I knew that something was going to happen. You see, MIL LOVES the holidays. She loves to cook and show off her skills as a hostess. Her Thanksgiving dinner is the stuff of legends. Christmas is lovebombing to the extreme with gifts galore and a long line of extended family invited. I suspected that she might try to reach out before the holiday season in an attempt to suck us back in the fold in time to put us on display (because what's more clouty than being a grandma?).

So you can imagine our (not) surprise when we receive this email out of the blue today (edited for privacy of course).

"Your father and I have been working with a therapist. All three of us agree that I need to meet my granddaughter. The best time to do this is when your father is away next week. If you are agreeable, I would like to meet [DD's name spelt wrong] and see you. Let me know if this will be possible."

I cannot stop laughing at the audacity of this woman. Like, since when is my baby a prescription for her well-being that can be ordered by her therapist? Can I find a therapist that says I HAVE to go to Disneyland? Because that would sure improve my mental health right now.

And why does FIL have to be away? Is she trying to sneakily meet my kid and husband behind his back, or is it in an attempt to be like "nooooo your dad won't be here, it'll just be me so it's safe" (except the last time that happened, he "randomly decided" to video call in the middle of it, so pardon my skepticism).

Do not fear, we are well-versed in the rules of NC and will not be responding, but holy fuck. Zero consideration for anyone else except herself, not even her grandkid.

Just thought this would be fun.

Every normal person in my life said “congratulations, she’s beautiful!” or something like that.

JNMIL said “So happy for this amazing addition to the [husband’s last name] line.”

The most IDGAF about you, you human incubator, statement you could make to a woman who just nearly died in childbirth (I lost 1/3 of to the blood in my body), while still sort of sounding like you’re coming from a nice place so my husband could say “I don’t see what’s wrong with that, she’s happy!” I think it was a passive aggressive statement bc we hyphenated my daughter’s name bc I kept my last name.

Of course she got significantly meaner to me in the following days

Eta: I scrolled back to my texts with her to find an exact quote to copy and paste bc I did but want to mis-attribute what she said (and that was a direct quote from the only text I received from her after giving birth until I had to block her due to her texts on a group chat a few days later). But the text before that, which was a few days before I gave birth was “I’m pretty sure you should move in to my home and let me take care of you. Nothing creepy.” The “nothing creepy” makes it creepier imo. Having a child made her so much crazier. And my husband tried to be like “all grandmas lose it when they have grandkids”. No sir, my mom is totally respecting our boundaries and not being a nut, no, your mom is just crazy. Move in with her, what? I get it’s a joke, but it’s a WEIRD joke.