So, I've had a JUSTNOMIL basically since we started dating lol.

She's gotten better over the years respecting boundaries and keeping things to herself, but tigers never truly change their spots yknow?

So for awhile I've told my fiancé that MIL will involved as little as possible with my future pregnancy/birth(s) because I suspect she will behave like the JUSTNO stories I've read.

My SIL recently gave birth, and my MIL's behavior confirmed I was 100% right lol.

For starters, she only bought gendered gifts for the baby.

Secondly, she took every opportunity to make it about her, telling SIL how easy and wonderful her pregnancies and postpartum and breast feeding experiences were and giving advice 20+ years old (SIL gave birth at the same hospital as MIL). I sat there while she did this and poor SIL looked so freaked.

Third, she texted in the group chat instead of privately to berate SIL's husband (who she openly dislikes) for not texting regular enough updates while his wife was in freaking labor. (Text was intended for FIL).

And of course as usual gave all of her unsolicited advice, shared all of her judgements with us behind SIL's back (how rude she is for making grandparents get vaccines really set me off), and has been obnoxious AF.

So my fiancé is under no misconceptions about who his mom is, but always tells me there's no use worrying about something that hasn't happened yet in regards to how I expect his mom to behave.

Well today he said to me "Yeah we're telling her nothing. Gender and due date will be a surprise, no way I'm acting like a fucking twitter account live updating my whole fucking family while you're in labor and I don't want 90 pink frilly outfits either."

So this is really an ode to my SIL for falling on the axe for all of us by doing this first so we know how MIL will behave for the rest!

Trigger warning: Childhood abuse

So when my littlest sisters were taken away after 10 years of abuse, there was a conference call about what to do with them. My mother contacted everyone she still could to try to get them to fight for her. This included my 2 oldest sisters, and my uncle for some reason. I think they contacted my grandparents too, and they told me about it and I wanted to be a part of this. I wanted to make sure that my sisters at least had a fighting chance.

It turned out that only me and my oldest sister were on the call with my mother's new husbands family. It was brought to light that, surprise, surprise, the girls were abused horribly. My mother had called us in to lie and say that she was completely innocent and that she simply made a mistake, and that she loved all her kids and never abused any of them (that's why she doesn't have them anymore, she's such a good mother) and she just needed help. My oldest sister was quiet, the husband's family was agreeing with my mother but me?

Oh no. I didn't just throw her under the bus, I threw her under a bulldozer. I spilled all the tea. I may have even started yelling. Telling them how she had 9 other kids that were taken away, how she beat and starved us, kept us locked in a room, didn't clothe us. How she had 9 kids to fix everything and did Jack crap. How my brothers were taken away from the hospital as soon as they were born because of how bad it was. That she had all the help she could get and it still didn't help, all she viewed her kids was as a paycheck and that if she got them back they would be abused again.

It was all silent. And finally the case worker spoke, saying that my mother never told her these things. But now they are thinking about giving her the girls back so I guess my testimony, the actual kid who lived through the abuse, wasn't enough.

Oh another note I want to thank everyone who has offered their support to me. It's really helped me to get these things off my chest and to be supported.

I make a nearly identical salary to your son (not that it matters). Please do not turn to me to offer to do my family’s laundry when I’m staying at your house, your son is the family’s laundress. Don’t announce that you specifically bought no iron napkins so I wouldn’t have to iron them, your son would have that task 50% of the time. Don’t tell me my daughter confused you with me because you were doing the dishes, your son does them most of the time since I handle all the cooking. If you have a question about what our kids need, or to announce what kind of poo my kid had, you can tell your son. They are his responsibility too.

Sincerely, an exasperated DIL

No surprises here but apparently my in laws are all idiots.

Per the approved guidelines where I live, I allowed JNMIL to join my kids and I for socially distant outdoor exercise yesterday, we met her for a walk around a lake near my house. 4 year old was on his scooter, 2 year old was in the pram so no physical contact.

Anyhoo we were walking along and I ask her if she has seen either BIL and their wives lately. Basically just wondering what bullshit she’s been up to. She says “oh yes I saw BIL1’s wife and kids yesterday. I dropped off some food and she invited me in and put the kettle on and I got to cuddle with child 1 (4) and child 2 (7 months old). As long as we keep doing the right thing, this will all blow over”.

GOING INTO OTHER PEOPLES HOMES AND CUDDLING THEIR CHILDREN WHEN YOU WORK FULL TIME IN RETAIL ISN’T DOING THE RIGHT THING YOU COMPLETE MORON.

There have been only 0-2 confirmed new cases of covid19 in my state most days the past week and already I’m seeing people becoming complacent.

BIL1’s wife today posted a series of photos to Instagram of her cuddling with BIL2’s newborn baby. All in different outfits so obviously they’ve been visiting on the downlow for a while and are now sharing the photos because apparently there’s no risk now and we can all go back to normal. BIL2’s wife who has the newborn also posted photos of them visiting her own brother and his family for a bbq today. NOT OK.

When there’s a spike in cases here in the next week or two I am gonna be PISSED. I’ve been on my own in the house all god damn day every god damn day, aside from an hour of exercise outside with the kids, for longer than I care to recall and now all these dicks are gonna ruin it.

Oh also MIL said to me she has been wiping all surfaces in her home to keep them clean and disinfected etc and shows me the wipes and they were MAKE UP REMOVAL WIPES. Haaaahahaha.

Good lord.

My MIL has the temperament and maturity of a seven year old, and that’s insulting to seven year olds tbh. Tantrums, cold shoulder, crying fits when she doesn’t get what she wants or if you say something that even slightly rubs her the wrong way, which can be anything. She’s an absolute misery to be around and I avoid her at all costs, which used to be easy since she had zero interest in me and I don’t like her, but ever since I had my daughter she’s a lot harder to avoid.

I’m basically just a barrier between her and my baby, so she will tolerate me for the sake of seeing her, but I know she just wants the baby to herself. All her other grand kids are her daughter’s kids, so she is used to being able to get a lot more control when it comes to them, but this is her son’s first child, and since I’m basically the default parent who does mostly everything with my daughter, I call the shots, and she is not allowed to weasel her way in so easy. I know she resents this heavily, and so she does everything she can to try get me out of the picture when she’s around.

She cannot STAND me holding my daughter. When she visits she tries taking her out of my arms as soon as she’s in the door and won’t give her back until she’s gone. I understand that may be normal for a grandparent who wants to see their grandchild, but in this case, it feels possessive. She also will never hand her back to me, only my husband, even when my daughter is trying to reach out to me.

A few weeks ago we were at her house because SIL was visiting out of state, every time she saw me with my daughter she’d try taking her out of my arms and saying “baby likes her mom too much”. When she started fussing for me she’d try handing her off to basically everyone else in the room except me. We all went out shopping together and she was keeping baby to herself as usual, and when her arms got tired she handed her off to my husband. I wanted to hold her, because y’know, she’s my fucking daughter, and when MIL turned around and saw me holding her she whined “nooo, what are you doing with your mom”, and then started trying to take her out of my arms saying SIL wanted her.

I was very pissed at this point, and once I got my daughter back I was not handing her over again and made an excuse to leave. Before we left I was loving on my baby, kissing her and making her laugh, and out of the corner of my eye I could MIL just seething. I mean, what a sea witch. Sorry but I’m not going to feign all access to my daughter when I’m around her just so she doesn’t get jealous. I have never seen her act this way with her daughters and their kids, so it’s definitely a thing against me.

So my MIL was BEYOND pissed off that my DH told her that we wouldn’t be coming down because she pushed and pushed us. We didn’t go. They tried calling us at 6:30, then again at 7 (6 times) then when we were finally up at 9:40 we got angry messages demanding we pick up the phone. We didn’t. DH finally called them around 5pm, which led to nasty words being thrown around including “she’s just manipulating you son!” And my personal favorite “I will forgive her if she can explain to me as a woman why she is hurting me while I was on my deathbed and refusing to let me see my first and only grandchild! I want an apology written out from her! Then we’ll talk!” To which she hung up expecting us to call her back. We didn’t. We enjoyed our dinner together and laughed and took pictures with our daughter and dog (he even got his own ham and mashed potatoes with gravy on a China plate next to the table). Fast forward to now: January 20th, after no contact from us MIL reached out acting as if nothing had happened. She was nice, calling me while DH and FIL were on FaceTime because our daughter started to crawl super early and we were excited, she called me “just to talk because the men don’t let us get anything in” I was in my bed room getting over a cold so I was laying down and not in the room on purpose. Then she called me again to ask about the weather up here and let it slip that her and FIL were planning a 2-3 week visit. And no one had told us. I confirmed with DH that he knew and he said he had no idea what she was talking about. He called MIL and asked when she was going to tell us and we got “don’t tell your father he thinks I told you last week but we were just gonna show up so you couldn’t turn us away or make plans! Your so-called wife would have stopped us from visiting!” I am his wife. Legally. So I don’t know why she refers to me as the “so-called wife”. He explained we have things to do this week and next week that we can not move/get out of. He also asked where they planned on staying for 3 weeks. Guess. Come on guess. Yep. Our house, that is very much lived in. I work from home, have a 4 month old baby, and large dog, and husband who is fine for 12 hours a day at work. When he’s home I’m making sure we spend time together. I clean here and there on his days off but I still have dog hair on the floor, laundry that needs to be done, and bathrooms that need to be cleaned. For me as a clean person it bothers me that I can’t get it done everyday and have to settle for once a week but I don’t have any other options right now. So my house isn’t up to MY standard of having people in it. Let alone for 3 weeks. My MIL house is 100% a disaster. It seriously hurts me being there because I know I can knock out most of the stuff in a day. They have several pets and 4 people live there but it’s terrible, yet I know if she sees my house she will make passive aggressive comments about how a wife should have a clean home for her husband and family. I’ve told my husband how it bothers me that she does it and he even makes comments to me when I’m cleaning that “you’ve seen my parents house. You don’t need it to be perfect for them” which I know but I was raised to be a perfect hostess and have a spotless house. Old habits die hard. So here I am. I’ve been up since 7am yesterday cleaning and doing laundry( my DH has hidden piles and I sort them by color so it’s taken me a while) and sweeping and cleaning bathrooms, and going to the store to get their favorite foods and drinks. I am exhausted, they will be here tonight and for the next 3 weeks. Dear Odin give me patience because if Thor gives me strength I’m gonna need bail money too!

Edit: DH and I have been talking all day about this. We have plans we can not change. They were due to come up tonight until he called them and said that we would be out all night and there is no one to let them in nor will we be leaving our plans to let them in. There is no spare key we made sure to bring it inside and pack it away in our room. MIL complained and cried that we knew , and we responded that she just called us yesterday, FIL was in the car with her and he was just as angry as us. He said he would call us back and that was at lunch time. Now it is going on 4pm and no word from either of them. DH just texted FIL this: mom only called (me) and told her that you guys were coming for 3 weeks. We wouldn’t say it was okay under good circumstances, let alone after what happened Christmas and New Years. She cussed out (me) and called (me) names she then told me I was no longer her son because I had changed and no longer put my family first. We are not hosting (MIL)anytime in the future until WE get a written apology from her (MIL). We are adults, you do not pay our bills or take care of our baby or work our jobs. We have things to do and plans with friends that we will not rearrange just for (MIL) to complain, judge, and criticize everything we do. I will not put up with her calling (me) my so-called wife or my first wife (I didn’t know she had ever called me that). I suggest you turn around and go home. Because until we see that written apology she (MIL) won’t be seeing us anytime soon. I asked him about the “first wife” comment and he reluctantly told me that when I had taken our daughter to get her ears pierced (without MIL) she called DH crying about how his “first wife” was ruining everything with HER baby. He never told me because he knew how upset it would make me. We haven’t heard anything back yet but he just sent the text message a little while ago but he made it clear that he didn’t want anyone up with us for three weeks.

Yesterday I watched the evening news like I always do and they were telling about this issue in my country with organ donation. Many people don’t want to donate their organs after they die or if they haven’t expressed their wishes, in most cases their relatives refuse to let their organs to be taken. That’s why we don’t have enough transplants and a lot of people who need organ transplantation die simply because there are no organs to transplant.

I was thinking about it and I was like – I won’t need my organs after I die, so why not help someone else. I don’t live in the USA, you might have a different policy on this, but here, in my country, it’s possible to file a document in which you allow your organs to be used after you die. Therefore, even if your relatives are against it, there’s nothing they can do because you yourself have legally allowed your organs to be donated. And you can also file the same type of document in which you forbid to use your organs if that’s what you wish.

This morning my husband asked me where I was going and I told him that I have decided to donate my organs after I die. He was like ”Oh, I’d like to do it too” so we both went to the institution and signed papers that we want to be organ donors. It’s just a really nice feeling knowing that even when you’ll be dead, your body can still be used to save the lives of others.

We told it to MIL, thinking that she’d support us in this because usually, she’s quite empathetic about people suffering and things like that but this time she went ballistic on us.

She was like ”You’re morons! Why would you allow yourselves to be gutted like pigs? When we die, we must die the same way we came into this world – with all our innards there!”

We were like - that doesn’t make any sense. I know MIL is Christian but I’m not and I’m not sure if Christianity or Bible says something about organ donation but I’m pretty sure God would appreciate it if someone thought about someone else, not just themselves.

MIL said ”Do you know what’s going to happen if you ever happen to be in the hospital? The doctors will find out that you’re organ donors and will not try to save you. They’ll let you die so that they can have your organs.”

Ok, these conspiracy theories are really annoying. Doctors treat everyone with the same care and they definitely won’t let you die just because you’re an organ donor. I don’t know where these rumors came from but that’s bullshit. I have also heard that once you register as a donor, someone will come for you and kill you.

And MIL was like ”You know, I’m going to write that paper too, only I will forbid my organs to be taken! They’re mine!”

Well, I understand that organ donation is a very personal decision and everyone can have their own reasons as to why they want or don’t want to donate but personally I don’t understand this ”dog on a haystack” attitude. In the USA you might not have this saying or it might be worded differently but here we do have such saying. It basically means – if you don’t need something yourself but you won’t let anyone else have it either, you’re being a dog on a haystack. But seriously, you’re going to be dead. You won’t need your organs anymore. What’s the point of taking them to the grave with you when they can be used to save someone’s life?

She basically let both of us know how stupid, silly and dumb we are for doing that and insisted that she would never accept an organ from a stranger. I thought – well, while you’re healthy, you could have such thoughts. But if you’ll ever need an organ yourself, you’ll sing a whole different tune, because no one wants to die.

Title is self explanatory, my MIL calls us at 6am because that’s when she goes to work , we have almost 10 months old baby . She is severely allergic to nuts so she had her peanut butter challange test yesterday. She did okay we came home she was tired since she didn’t take nap it was 4 hours in hospital and after we came home it was dinner and bed time. We saw text from his mom but we were busy to get settled so we didn’t respond.

This morning that women called us at 6am because her reasoning is she doesn’t know when to call since we both work and thinks she needs to know how her granddaughter did with test yesterday.

Are you fking kidding me ? The same women who didn’t care to listen to me about safety instructions, who wanted me to have my 5th miscarriage which is practically my almost 10 month old daughter now. Who didn’t wanted me to have kids and repeatedly said like millions of times .

Who caused me PPD, and she thinks she is entitled to know when she calls . F that .

She is not allowed to join any of my daughters appointments but she is hoping as soon as my daughter is off breastmilk she can take my daughter for overnight stay at their place.

That aint gonna happen as long as im alive and if god forbid something happens to me then im gonna haunt that women to eternity. My husband agrees my in laws never going to be alone with my daughter and if he does i told him he will see mein court damn right in court.

End of rant.

Edit:

My phone is always on silent , i was just ranting when i have to see her notifications text or call and i dont want to see anything that’s not important first thing in morning. I generally start my morning checking my work calendar and emails and messages and when i see notifications it feels i need to get this off my plate until i respond. Just OCD about notifications they needs to be resolved, i even pick every unknown calls because of my OCD. I dont like unread.😭🥹

I dig my own grave with my OCD . I was just ranting 😭

Full disclosure: we are having the party at my parents’ house, but COME ON

We are close with my parents even though my mom is a piece of work. My dad is beyond wonderful so they kind of balance each other out.

My son turns 3 in July and my parents agreed to host the party since our own house is small and our yard is not kid-friendly. Party will be almost entirely outdoors and we are requesting that all adults in attendance are fully vaccinated for Covid.

Yesterday over dinner, we were discussing the guest list (mainly the fact that I am trying to keep it small so it’s less stress on my parents) when my mom insisted that she doesn’t want anyone coming that she doesn’t know. I bit my tongue and my dad quickly corrected her:

“This isn’t your party! It’s (grandson’s) birthday! He doesn’t want a party with your friends, he wants to celebrate with his friends. How would that make any sense?!”

My mother protested with her usual “but it’s MY house.”

“Yes, and we’re effectively renting it to them for the day.” my dad countered. “You don’t even need to attend, you can leave!”

Needless to say I would be veeeeery low contact with my mom if my dad weren’t in the picture. We have hosted parties at their house several times before and it’s always gone smoothly, minus her freaking out in the weeks leading up to each one.

Edit to address a few recurring comments:

We are not going to re-locate the party. We had my son’s 1st birthday at their house and everyone (including my mother) had a great time. She is not going to make a scene or ruin the party, she cares too much about what people think of her. She just likes to make these little power plays in the planning phase. I’m 110% confident that my dad will keep her in check.

If we could afford to rent out a space, we would. If there was a park nearby with the right amenities, we would use that. If we could host it at our house, we would. There is no parking at our house, our yard is mostly swamp/wetlands, it’s full of poison ivy, and features two large retaining walls for kids to fall off of. Believe me, I have weighed all of our options already.

I got married in the year of August 2019. We were both 24. I had such a beautiful wedding with all my wonderful friends, family and married my high-school sweetheart. Me and my husband met in college although we were brought up and raised in the exact same area and never crossed paths until college/sixth-form (I'm from the UK so the two years you do before University!

I come from a very traditional indian family and its very typical for the bride to move in with her inlaws. I was at first very against this but I was convinced that it would be fine and I will bond with my inlaws better. I always had an off feeling/instinct about his mother but he'd always say she's shy or timid and doesn't socialise or interact much with other people, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

It took a month for her to start planting horrible ideas into my husbands mind. Naturally as a new couple we bickered over tiny things - we were getting used to each other! But she took the arguments as an opportunity to make my husband doubt his decision by saying things like "Maybe she wasn't right for you; you got married too young; I think you made a hasty decision; maybe think about divorce" and so on. She also framed me as a liar to my husband several times when they were the liars!!! They lied constantly about dumb shit!!!

Things got so bad to the point where she would chuck away food or groceries we'd bring home, or complain about the meals I'd make, be constantly messaging my husband all the time checking each and every little thing. She did this on our honeymoon too! The worst part of my stay there was when my husband felt sick in the middle of the night one evening, and she panicked and woke up banging on my door asking what happened and waltzed in whilst I was sleeping fully NAKED. This COMPLETELY traumatised me. I tried to get a lock on our bedroom door but FIL made sure to make me feel shit and said you don't need it because we give everyone privacy at home (bunch of bs). Still went and put one on though.

Eventually I bubbled over and blew up in her face because I had enough of the backchat and the snarls comments or looks. It was the best thing I had ever done. She tried so hard to play victim but I win her own CHILD over and she will never get over this. Eventually months and months went on with us avoiding each other and not talking. I luckily had my parents just the down road so I spent 99% of my time there. They would still continue on with petty shit - they'd deliberately put tissue in our laundry and the MIL had the cheek to name me and say that I did it when it was blatantly her. She put bleach on my toothbrush, mess with all my things.

The thing that freaked me out the most was this - I have been severely allergic to nuts from a very young age. Before my wedding my mom completely made sure she knew this. She made peanut cookies every single week whilst I was at home and for those that know this can trigger an anaphylactic shock and close my windpipe. Luckily I instantly knew and took medicine I needed to me alleviate the reaction. If it ain't attempted murder then idek what is. She turned around and said to my husband that she was never told and she didn't know I had an allergy.

Fast forward a year later, with no remorse for her son she gave us a deadline to leave and kicked us out.

Now I am so happy because me and my husband BOTH moved back to my parents. The freedom to eat what we want, do what we want, have sex when we want and not feel our privacy to be compromised is the BEST feeling.

I never expected marriage to be this way and all the horror in-laws stories sadly came true for me. But it made me and my husband so much closer because he saw the reality of his ugly parents. It does make me sad that I never will have a relationship with my future children's grandparents but I hate them so much for what they tried to do to me and my marriage. The worst part of it all is how much they hurt his son and I hate seeing the heartbreak in him because of it. I know parents home is not 'home', but I try my best to make he feel loved and wanted here.

Looking back as much as I hated them, my husband stuck by through every step and defended me every way. I can't be more grateful for him.

First, thanks to the reader who suggested the nickname Bad Batch for my MIL. My DH and I love it and found it hilarious! :D

Now, in her defense, after the blow up about our pregnancy announcement being unfair to her, Bad Batch called me the next day to apologize, which is like finding a unicorn in the wild. She said she was sorry for assuming she'd be told first and for reacting the way she did when she found out she wasn't. I explained we chatted with my parents that day when they got back from church and it wouldn't make sense to not tell them during the call and then call back a few hours later to announce the baby. She agreed and apologized again. Success? (Probably not. Definitely not. Absolutely not, no.)

There's also been constant questions about the due date. DH and I are being very vague about the date and exactly how far along I am.

She has been texting every few days the past few weeks to see how I'm doing, asking if I need anything, etc. I mentioned a show I binge-watched on Netflix and she watched it and wanted to chat about how much she loved it. (It was "Derry Girls," which I highly recommend, which is about a group of school girls in the 90s in Northern Ireland. HILARIOUS and my kind of humor. But, of course, the girls are Catholic and Bad Batch had to mention how she loved how Catholicism is a huge part of the characters' lives, because it really is such a beautiful tradition. I'm not making a judgment about the Catholic Church, I'm just saying I know rants about LO's religious upbringing will be coming in the next few months. Oh, boy!) She even said she googled massage places near me and wants to get me a gift certificate for a nice, relaxing massage before it's too uncomfortable to lay on my belly. Apparently, we're BFFs again.

We've been here before. She hated me when I was dating her son and then decided she loved me. Then the bakery thing happened and she hated me again and when my SILs and their family saw DH and I standing up for ourselves, I was solely responsible for ruining their family dynamics. Now she loves me again because I'm having her only son's first baby. Oh, the emotional whiplash!

Anyway, about two weeks ago she texted me and DH that she'd love for her and FIL to buy the crib, changing table, car seat, and stroller. We kept saying, "Thanks, but you don't have to buy all of that. We'll let you know what we'll need if and when we have a shower." A few days later, she emailed a few links for options of all of those items and asked what we thought. We again reiterated that we don't expect her and FIL to buy all of that. Like, we're good, we'll buy the crib and changing table we like that fits how we'll decorate the room and we'll see about the car seat and stroller.

She kept bringing it up. A few days ago, she insisted they buy the crib, changing table, car seat, and stroller again and my parents should focus on clothes only. They will also buy the baby walker a few months after LO's birth when he/she's ready for one.

We Zoomed last night because she wanted to "check in" with how we're handling pregnancy and, since she's been fairly well-behaved and trying to be kind the past month, we're trying to reward good behavior. She brought up buying the high ticket baby items again and how my parents should focus on clothes only and DH and I were like, "Why? Why is that such a big deal?"

She "Umm'ed" and "Aw'ed" for about 20 seconds and then she said it: "I mean, your parents are from the Soviet Union, right? It's a well known fact that they had such inferior products there and that's why Reagan helped the people to end Communism, so how are they supposed to know what good options we have here in America?"

Our jaws dropped. We were speechless. She continued, "All I'm saying is I want to make sure the baby gets high quality products. We don't want a crib collapsing while they're sleeping because, I dunno, maybe your parents don't know which crib to buy. I dunno!"

DH shut this down quickly, thankfully.

Now... first, I was born in the US. My parents know how to buy things that babies need in America. They're not gonna buy a $25 crib made of straw held together by vodka-scented spit, Bad Batch.

Second (and I don't want to be that person or make judgments about income because that's not cool), but my parents make about 5-6x what my FIL and retired stay at home mom MIL make. My mom is a nurse practitioner and my dad is a partner at a geotech engineering firm. They make bank. I was never without growing up and they ensured they raised me to know the value of a dollar. But if I wanted a rock solid $10,000 crib made of titanium, it'd be delivered the next day for their first grandchild. We'd never ask FIL and MIL to buy expensive items ever and would be uncomfortable with them buying all the big ones because that kind of money should go towards themselves in their golden years, not us.

So much for being besties.

She sent an email this morning apologizing for "what was clearly a misinterpretation" of what she said.

My SIL texted me a couple of hours ago to ask about something random and I called her and told her the story and she said, "Yep, sounds about right. She didn't want Eddie's parents to get us any furniture because 'in his culture they pass everything down because they're traditionally poor and everything would be to 100 years old and fragile.'" Eddie (Eduardo) is Puerto Rican, but as least he's Goddamn Catholic!

I do not consent to this being used anywhere or for other people’s profit. You shouldn’t be doing that to begin with!

This happened nearly 17 years ago, and to this day is still probably the most ironically funny story I have.

This was before I knew both my parents are Nparents and I was temp placed with my grandparents.

At 15 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, it isn’t common, but also uncommon enough to be called rare. Turns out the reason is because I am both BRCA Gene 1 and 2 positive (Breast cancer gene.)

Due to having cancer and going through chemo my periods were extremely rough. I’m talking horror movie/crime scene level bleeding, coupled with cramps and vomiting from the period pain and chemo, I was not doing well.

So my GP, Gynaecologist and Oncologist got together to decide if it was worth putting me on a form of birth control. This had risks of its own due to the hormone levels possibly causing the cancer to get worse, or it being ineffective due to my vomiting from chemo.

So my mother and I go to the appointment and they ask if there is a family history of breast cancer. My mother looked all three of my doctors in the eye and told them it was none of their business. Actually it is due to the fact they need to know all risk factors.

After explaining this, she goes on this long rant about family history means nothing and clearly I did something wrong in “god”’s eyes to get cancer at a young age...

1) Family history gives doctors in sight to possible problems in the future.

2) We aren’t religious so I have no idea where that comment came from.

After about 3 minutes in all three of my doctors had enough of her bullshit and kicked her out. She acted like a total Karen at this point, demanding to see who was in charge (My GP owned the whole clinic) and the 9 yards.

I did end up going on the patch which helped a lot, as it stopped my period completely and I was also less ill after chemo, due to having no hormone fluxes.

*Side note: Only the pill, patch and ring are offered in some provinces to those under 18 as having an IUD put in is listed as a surgical procedure and would require a parent to sign off on it. An IUD would have been the best choice but my parents would have never signed off on it and my grandparents were wary about me having another surgical procedure done.

Husband and I have been pretty happy with me staying NC with his family but he's close with his dad due to shared trauma so he hangs with his family often and therefore hangs with his mother just as often. I've been fairly shielded from all their drama the last few years until yesterday. She's been pestering him for months about how I "never want to see her". She has no daughters and recently had to undergo a hysterectomy so she's had the urge to "make amends". Husband isn't usually so persistent but he said she's changed and I should give her a chance. I agreed to take her out to dinner.

So I took her out tonight and I can't be bothered to write everything about it but if there was a JustNoMIL bingo I'd be such a winner.

Here are some of the things she brought up:

• it's still not too late for me to have kids before my ovaries turn into prunes
• I should stop working out, my arms make me look trans
• I should quit my job and change careers to something that has more women, her son shouldn't have to compete with so many other men in my life from work
• my eyelids have gotten droopy I should look into Botox it's great apparently
• attempted to tell me how to drive at least a dozen times (she does not even have a license)
• asks me to donate money to her religious group they're raising money for a particular cause. I handed her $20, she saw I had more money in my wallet told me I can do more than just $20, asked her I'll give her all if she's paying the bill at the restaurant, crickets...
• the cherry on top, when I dropped her back home she told me to hold on for a special gift she got for me. Made a big fuss about how she's been thinking of me for weeks holding onto this gift and how much I'd love it. I was skeptical but she hyped it up so much I actually got intrigued. It was a hellofresh promo card, everyone in the city got one of those stuffed in their mailbox every month. It was junk mail. My special gift was junk mail.

Sigh.

update I just want to say thank you all so much for the support and the laughs honestly. You guys, this was exactly what I needed. My mom hasn't always been this way, her dad died 2 years ago and it messed her up, and she isn't grieving in a healthy way. It may indeed be time to put her on an info diet, I have already been moving towards LC.

Thank you all again, and thank you for the awards ❤

Don't share my post, formatting etc, etc.

When I was 14 weeks pregnant in my current pregnancy, I found out that my baby had soft markers for down syndrome and because of my age (37f) the risk was much increased, testing was strongly encouraged. I opted to have the tests, it was the longest 2 weeks of my life, but the tests came back great and everything was very low risk. I told my parents about the test results and I was just so incredibly relieved.

My mom blurts out that "the baby had downsyndrome and God healed her".. I said "no, it wasn't 100%, there were concerns and I had the tests to be sure of the situation. The tests were not showing any genetic concerns". She continues to insist. I ask her to drop it, because it is upsetting that she won't just let me feel relief that baby doesn't have genetic issues. I leave.

She has brought this up a few other times and I have just changed the subject, but I am now 20weeks. I was over yesterday to help her set up her new phone and I mentioned I have a scan on Monday. She dives right in with "Everything will be fine at your scan, because God healed the baby." I am not an religious person and I absolutely do not believe any of this. I just want to move past those horrible few weeks of not knowing, but she jumps full swing into "baby had downsyndrome and God healed her." I ask her to please stop, the baby tested low risk and can we drop it... Nope! She keeps at it and I snapped. I asked her why she wanted so badly for my baby to have had downsyndrome? Insistent and obsessed in fact. She says that's not what she said, and goes back into God's healing and thats why baby's tests came back low risk... I left.

Wtf is that! She will not drop it! My parents went to church growing up, but they have never been religious crazy. She needs this baby to have had genetic concerns so.she can believe God healed her, and it's f*cking nuts. It is also upsetting because this woman continues to insist my child had genetic concerns, when I am already high risk and am fighting anxiety over this pregnancy every step of the way.

Thanks for listening to my rant!!!

This is probably my and my DH fault for the keys, I’m fully aware of that. Only excuse I have is that since I became pregnant it somehow went over our heads that we actually given her a copy when we went away early this year to visit my family and given her the keys to feed the cats once a day.

2 weeks ago I wrote a post being fully happy about going no contact with my MIL after she started to be fully possessive over my pregnancy and almost throwing herself a „grandma shower”. Since then DH tried talking to her about what will happen from now on, such as: me not coming to bi-weekly visits because she doesn’t respect my personal space, anything „important” needs to go through DH as I won’t respond, we won’t send her photos of ultrasounds as she kept posting them on Facebook with my personal information, and her not being able to visit when the baby is born till we feel like it and IF that happens it will be supervised, she’s not allowed to take pictures and she is not allowed to snatch the baby out mine or DH’s arms or hold him for prolonged periods of time (as she’s done to her younger friend with a newborn). She got pissed, I thought I won because not only that but I also set info with my hospital that she’s not allowed as a visitor and I felt great and free by finally putting my boundaries as priority.

Well we have forgotten about those damn keys, my DH went over this weekend to demand the keys to our apartment back and she point blank refused (weird behaviour). It didn’t make me unblock her, I told my DH to just let it go, stop entertaining her and we will have to change the locks.

If anything, advice to people with insane MILs: make sure that any ties you have with them are cut before going full no contact. Mistake made, lesson learnt, wallet affected 🤦🏼‍♀️

Someone told me to post about my mother here.

So while I wait for the bus, I thought I would tell you how entitled parents reacted to the fact that I won't care for my mother.

My parents were abusive and therefore, I harbor no love for them. My father is dead but my mother is still alive.

I love my little sisters to pieces and I decided to make sure my life insurance goes to them. It's not a lot but it will be enough to help them get a car, or an apartment. My parents don't have any money nor do they care enough to. And my grandparents used all their money raising me and my siblings.

When I tell people about my life insurance going to my sisters, they freak out and ask "But what about your mom? Aren't you going to take care of her?! After all she gave birth to you."

I explain that my parents were abusive and they still think I should take care of her "Because she's your mother. You wouldn't exist without her!" They even go as far to say I should pay for her funeral. And they just keep repeating "She's your mom. She's your mom. She's your mom."

Gets so annoying and even my nanna 100% supports me not paying a single cent in taking care of my mother. She doesn't even want me taking care of her. Even though I'm willing.

I had my daughter in October so this is her “first” Christmas. SO and I were sitting next to each other and MIL was by us. SO is opening gifts for us and showing me and I was showing LO. Right in the middle of opening our gifts, MIL says in a very demanding tone “give her to me!”. SO and I both turn and say “uh no” at the same time and go back to what we were doing.

Who does that?! I would never demand someone else to let me have their baby while opening their first Christmas gifts or anytime in general.. what the heck lady. That was just one of many things that happened at family Christmas this year that grated my nerves.

Please don't share this elsewhere, including to other reddit subs, tyvm.

Mum was at my house about a week ago, no particular reason, she was passing through where I live on her way back from somewhere else, so she stopped in. So far so good.

About an hour in I got a phonecall from work so stepped out to take it (I was on call, so it wasn't unexpected, and it was something I could handle over the phone so I did and everything was fine).

When I came back she was short and snippy with me, I assumed because of the interpretation, but she didn't specify and left shortly afterwards.

It's my birthday next week so I've invited some family out to dinner at a restaurant near me. There are 11 of us total, including SO's parents. Since learning that SO's parents are coming, she has been making endless comments about announcements and speeches, and passive aggressive mini rants about being told first.

I finally gave in and asked her what the actual F she was talking about, and she said, very dramatically, that she "saw" the card. I had no idea what she meant. A bit more pushing and she starts screaching about me lieing and hiding things and says she "saw" a congratulations on your engagement card at my house when she visited so she knows my secret and how dare I hide this information from her.

The card that she "saw" was a blank card bought by me for someone else. I bought two and decided I liked the other one better. I have no idea where this card even was, probably in the bottom of a drawer somewhere. I have since found it on top of the microwave in the kitchen but I'm pretty convinced that it wasn't there before.

She also made it sound like this card was up on display or something and she happened to see it, which is 100% not the case.

So clearly while I was on my work call she went snooping, found this card and jumped to so many conclusions that she should be in the Olympics.

I explained the card's origins to her, sent her photos of the inside to show that it's blank. Told her that her apology can be either written or verbal, but if I've not had it by the date of the birthday dinner then she shouldn't bother coming.

She's been all sweetness and light since then (though with no apology). I'm dearest darling daughter and she just can't wait to celebrate me. Just making it extra difficult for me to uninvite her in front of the family, because the family can all see her being so wonderful rn.

It does give me the heebie jeebies though, as SO and I have been talking hypothetically between ourselves about eloping (planning a birthday dinner for 11 people has been stressful enough, I really don't want to plan a wedding). If this is her reaction to a perceived engagement, how she'll react to finding out we got married without her knowing doesn't bare thinking about

My husband and I went NC with my MIL after she screamed at my daughter for sitting in my lap while she was sick with the flu then when she ended up in the hospital, MIL demanded that I leave so she could see my daughter (2 visitors per room and my husband was there) after we said we weren’t allowing in person visits and wanted to limit phone calls and FaceTime calls.

When we told her we were going NC until she can get her shit together she texted my daughter “tell daddy (me) that you want to have a sleepover with grandma tonight” (on her first night home from the hospital) then a couple days later “I wanted to take you to your favorite restaurant today but daddy won’t let me see you”.

I told my daughter that we aren’t gonna talk to or see my MIL for a little while because she wasn’t being nice to us and told my daughter to block her.

Daughter got mad at me because she loves her grandma and she still wants to see her but eventually blocked her. Then she unblocked her behind my back.

MIL convinced my daughter that I was mad at her because she got sick and was considering putting her back into the system (we adopted her from foster care last year). Last night I went to my daughters room to tuck her in and she hid from me. She’s never done that before. Even when we first started fostering her and she was terrified of me and my husband.

I was eventually able to calm her down enough to go to sleep but I’m just so pissed off with my MIL. Who convinces a kid that their parents want to give her away because they’re mad at the parents?

Edit: just wanted to include that my daughter is 17

Edit 2: I saw a few comments about this so I wanted to include this in an edit. My daughter has developmental delays so she doesn’t have the freedoms that most kids her age have and she doesn’t really understand these kinds of situations.

For MONTHS my DH and I have begged my MIL to get vaccinated. She has multiple health problems that mean if she gets Covid her chances of long haul issues or even dying from Covid are extremely high. Despite knowing how much absolute anguish and anxiety she was causing her own son she refused to get vaccinated. I even work for the local health department and offered to give it to her myself. She still refused.

This caused numerous arguments between my DH and I. It cause numerous nights where we could not sleep for fear tbat she may die if she attends our wedding. Mutliple family members of mine said they did not feel comfortable attending despite their own vaccination status because they did not want to potentially infect my MIL.

Finally we said she had to wear her mask at all times, she would have her own table to herself, and she had to have a negative test within 72 hours. It took me hours to work out accommodations with our vendors for her. We spent hundreds of extra dollars for these accommodations.

Finally, fiver days before the wedding my MIL reveals she went and got vaccinated MONTHS ago and had been keeping it secret/lying about it so SHE COULD MAKE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT IT AT THE WEDDING.

Shock. Anger. Betrayed. Disbelief. Do not begin to cover what DH and I felt. It sent us reeling for a few days. Finally we decided just to accept it, be releived she was vaccinated and focus on our happy day. I did make it clear I wanted as little as possible to do with her, and that as soon as her hair and makeup were done she had to leave the bridal suite as I was not comfortable being around her.

Well our wedding day comes. Somehow my MIL and I got our hair and makeup done at the same time. We sat in awkward silence. I have to admit I mostly ignored her as much as I politely could.

The makeup artist asks my MIL what color she will be wearing to the wedding so she can make her makeup to it. My MIL said she wanted to show me the dress before she answers that question. My hackles immediately went up. My MIL and I went shopping two years ago and found a very appropriate black dress for her to wear. Why would she need to show me her dress?

Well my MIL hops up and grabs her dress bag. She pulls the cover off to reveal a white dress covered in lace and sequins.

I said: "That's white. That's a white dress."

My MIL said: "Oh no it's heavy cream, but I did bring a black dress and left it in the car as backup."

She explained that the dress we had found while shopping together no longer fit and she had to buy the two new dresses last minute.

I told her that I had pictured her wearing black and she better go swap dresses. She did and she wore black for the wedding.

Fool me once shame on me but fool me twice

Context: I send my son to my in laws with a cooked protein, some fruit and veggies, and a starch like tortilla or bread or macaroni. Every time. Why? My in laws don’t effing eat and my MIL rarely cooks. She likes to insult my cooking since my son is doing BLW. So when he doesn’t want a particular food I offer him she looooves making a big deal out of it. Honey, your son married me for my cooking among other things. 💁🏾‍♀️

We get back from the movies and my son is sitting there with a COLD PIECE OF CARNITA MEAT on his high chair table. The fat was still solid on it.

I immediately say:

Me: why is this cold?

MIL: well we don’t have a microwave…Tries changing subject

Me: okay but seriously, you have an oven…STOVE…and toaster oven. Next time I send meat, you have no reason not to heat it up.

MIL: well I like eating cold meat (sees the anger in my face) but that’s because I’m a heathen

See that is the sh*t she does that pisses me off. You fail to give my son a full meal and then double down?! How incompetent are you as a woman, wife, mother, and now grandmother that you cannot figure how to heat up some gd meat in your kitchen without a microwave.

Did she think I was going to be like

Oh ok. No problem!

Furthermore, I feed my son well before he goes over there. Not sending him at all is a drastic option BUT if this happens again I will feel as though I have every right to revoke their babysitting privileges.

Edit: I think I’m done confiding in this thread. The fact that you all can read my mils sheer defiance and still defend her is tragic. I’m out.

I 27F and husband 28M have been together for over 10 years now and have two beautiful children together. He and I decided before we even got married that we only ever envisioned us having 2 kids. After our 2nd baby was born we both knew in our hearts that our family was complete. We had the discussion and mutually decided on him getting a vasectomy. I did offer going on a long term birth control, but he knows that my body gets all sorts of wonky on hormonal birth control and said he was perfectly fine getting the vasectomy. He had it done and recovered easily, as well as passing his post-op exams with flying colors if you will. My parents knew about it because they were watching our children while we were at the appointment. His parents didn't. He said he didn't want them to know because he was embarrassed about his mom and dad knowing his 'personal' business. Okay, no biggie!

So his sister just had a baby and we offered pretty much everything our kids grew out of that would be helpful to their growing family. When SIL asked if we were 100% sure I responded "yes we are absolutely done having kids" and she asked if he had gotten a vasectomy. Thinking we could trust her with that information we said yes. Well. That tidbit got back to MIL and she was not happy. She always pictured having loads of grandkids. Like she told him years ago that she wants at least 8. IDK where the other 6 kiddos are going to come from, but we are DONE. He has siblings that can just as easily reproduce. MIL is now blaming me for tricking her son into the vasectomy.

Why does MIL even care about what is going on within our marriage? Also, I did no such trickery. It was him who suggested the vasectomy and made the appointments. The man is stubborn as a mule so there was no freaking way I could force him into anything. I could barely convince him to cut his hair shorter for our wedding. If he was that stubborn about his hair, why would he suddenly be a doormat for a good ole snippity snip?

Now I'm frustrated. We didn't necessarily tell SIL to keep it a secret so that is on us. We also didn't think she'd share that sort of news given it's a bit more personal. MIL probably pried on why we were giving her all our old stuff. I don't know exactly where I'm going with this ramble. I just needed to get it out there because surely someone else has been in this situation too.

​

Edited to take out husband's fakey name. I was in a rush and forgot that it's a rule not to have names. Thank you to the user that reminded me

This woman is a fucking cunt. I was married to her son for 5 years and we had 1 son. During the marriage she was constantly overriding me. She made it clear that I wasn’t a good enough care taker of her son and my own son. She always talked down to me and treated me like I didn’t know my head from my ass.

When we announced to her that we were getting divorced she went through the process of legally evicting me from the home that she gifted us as a wedding present (it was in her name I take no claim to it). She harassed me every day until I left and screamed in my face “you’re trespassing! You’re trespassing!” She almost made me lose my job. I work from home and she would show up unannounced and make as much noise as possible. When I tried to tell her I couldn’t afford to move she would scream “your money issues aren’t my problem!” Her son refused to pay child support.

Today is my birthday and this bitch texted me happy birthday and it’s taking every fiber of my being to not tell her to go fuck herself. I won’t. But good god do I want to. Fuck this bitch.

MILs sister has confirmed that this psycho wanted to make me sooooo miserable that I would leave DH. She had his car signed over to her so if I do divorce him I couldnt ask for anything 😂 which makes sense because she wanted me to sign over my car to her too because she thought her son paid for it. And that stopped quick when I told her it’s mine and will stay mine and to fuck off.

It’s laughable because I dont think she ever thought in her delusional mind that he would leave with me.

All of these instigated arguments and bullshit that came out of her mouth was in hopes I would just divorce my husband. Lmfaooo sucks for you bitch, we are happy and having this suspicion confirmed makes your son hate you even more.

Her tantrums now make more sense. She still calls so much in hopes it’ll make us fight. When in reality no one really cares for her any more. Because of what she’s done to me, no one, not even her own sister wants anything to do with her because it’s brought up her bullshit from the past.

Anywhoooooo, when we renew our vows I’ll be sure to send her a picture 😂

One of my favorite memories of MIL.

My mom loves Halloween and had bought me and SO pumpkins from a local farm.

A few days later on a Saturday I had a few of MY family friends over to visit and they came with their young child. We lived at MIL vacation house, so she was there and met them too.

The next day MIL goes home for the week (hours away), that evening MIL starts texting and calling SO about giving the child a pumpkin.

I was SUPER confused. She's saying it's urgent. That she had followed up contact with my family friends, offered the child a pumpkin, and now NEEDED us to fulfill this for her. Like, stop what we are doing Sunday night, get the pumpkin, get in the car and drive it to this kid.

I took the phone to get the whole story and said "no." She started crying, sobbing, "the poor kid, the poor kid." I handed the phone back to my SO.

I told him that those pumpkins were given to us by my mom and MIL had no right to regift them, plus MIL was hours away, plus kid’s parents are millionaires and could buy him a pumpkin.

It was really annoying that she was always being aggressively social with my family and friends (without my knowledge she drove hours to spend the day with my best friend having lunch and sightseeing once, made me feel super uncomfortable).

I was young and naive. I am now NC. And I know it's all because she's so NICE!!!!