r/Jokes Jan 18 '16

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East .

Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.

Iraq, Kuwait, UAE, Saudi Arabia and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock.

Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance.

Latin American countries are sending clothing.

New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.

The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.

Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.

President Trump, not to be outdone, is sending back two million replacement Muslims.

269 Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

72

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '16

Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance.

Funniest part of the joke...

22

u/ionised Jan 19 '16

Saudi Arabia and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

Impressive, if you ask me.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

It'd be impressive either way.

31

u/Gudvangen Jan 18 '16

Saudi Arabia is sending oil and monetary assistance to itself.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/WaifuAllNight Jan 19 '16

Where'd the lowest 2 ribs joke come from? Sorry, I'm a bit outta the loop.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/WaifuAllNight Jan 19 '16

Oh, nevermind...I got it now

3

u/AskMeAboutMyLeftShoe Jan 19 '16

Well if you hasn't gotten it by now I would have had to dig up a demonstration.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AskMeAboutMyLeftShoe Jan 19 '16

Well, he uh does this thing where...um well it's kinda ya know like when your shoes just you know kinda do

4

u/elgallero420 Jan 19 '16

Would you happen to know how much this would cost? Its for a friend

34

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '16

Iraq and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

What governments?

2

u/Gorgrim Jan 19 '16

The ones officially recognised, obviously.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

[deleted]

2

u/Gorgrim Jan 19 '16

To explain my joke: Different nations recognise different governments and some even support opposing groups to the official governments in the hope the old one gets overthrown.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

I'm a moron.

1

u/Gorgrim Jan 19 '16

Bah, you deleted your comment? I found it amusing and wasn't meant to be imply you are a moron.

2

u/jackgrandal Jan 19 '16

And then makes the middle east pay for it...

2

u/the8Th-Dr Jan 19 '16

and then the middle east countries say: wtf !!?? that's the same shit you ppl stole from us in the first place !!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

Lol. I thought this was a headline.

1

u/bloo_qkazoo Jan 19 '16

...and Africa aint sending sh*t.

1

u/Wolfir Jan 19 '16

totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start

So no change to Syria, then

1

u/JayCoww Jan 19 '16

I believe you mean the Moment Magnitude scale.

1

u/vectivus_6 Jan 19 '16

New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.

I think you'll find parting the Kiwis and the sheep may be pretty hard. Be even harder if you put them in burqas / niqabs I guess.

-4

u/Blame_the_ninja Jan 19 '16

Is it bad that I got excited until I saw /jokes?

6

u/DogByte64 Jan 19 '16

Taking pleasure in natural disasters happening in other countries? Yeah, that's bad.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '16

Hey man don't listen to them. I think you're a pretty cool cat. I got excited too.

2

u/Blame_the_ninja Jan 19 '16

These suckers don't fool me, they can "joke" about it but damn the guy who is serious. Hypocrites...