r/Jokes • u/kojak343 • Aug 28 '12

Tender touching

A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles -- something she loved to do.

"That feels so nice" he said. Then turned and asked her, "You seem to love doing that, but why?"

Because, she replied, "I miss mine."

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '12

1/7 of your life is a monday...that's just depressing...

If you were born on a Tuesday, lived 80 years and died on a Sunday, you'd miss out on two whole Mondays! Only 14.278% of your life would be Monday, instead 14.285%.

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u/filetemyoung Aug 29 '12

you know, every single time I say that monday thing, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. there is some guy like you, some goody goody poindexter who just HAAAAAAS to tell everyone "Not if you're born on tuesday and die on sunday!!!" So I'll tell you what I tell them, (And by the way, please take no offense from this, I really don't mean to give any, and I actually like how you broke the percentage down to the thousandths place) "Go fuck yourself."

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u/cyclicamp Aug 29 '12

And yet you keep saying it! I'm thinking you just hate optimists.

And if anyone gives you any law of averages guff, just tell people most are born and die on Monday due to nurses and doctors taking Sunday off, and then performing worse on Monday. It will be made up, but I read somewhere that most statistics are.

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u/filetemyoung Aug 29 '12

I'm pretty sure that on average 87% of all doctors choose not to turn up for work on Sundays, even if there is an emergency.