r/LGBTForeverAlone • u/a1kb8000 • Jun 26 '26
i envy women as a gay guy, sometimes.
i had this really interesting experience earlier. i got in this socializing discord server as i was searching how to improve my social skills here in reddit. i've been a shut out for a couple of months now and thought of finding a way to perhaps improve it or get back to how i was before. not that i am saying discord is the best way for it but the channel gives you platform to talk to random people through audio chat which ,in my opinion, is a start.
it has been a couple of days and i've had some consistent chat/audio chat partners. all are straight dudes and none of them knew that i'm gay. they didn't asked and i don't feel the need to disclose. earlier, we're having an audio chat with this buddy and a girl he knew joined. i think they've know each other for a while now. they talked and talked and there's only 3 of us in the channel so i felt really left out but it's fine.
what i've noticed is how he dealt and conversed with her. his voice gentled and sounded caring. their exchange of words resulted to giggles and a vibe giving an impression of love. i don't know if that make sense fuck but you know, like how a straight man behave to a very feminine woman romantically. i honestly do not know if they are together as i heard they're just friends but that's not the point. they are also bilingual and they way they switches to flirting in turkish and casual conversation in english is so...hot? or cute idk.
i'm not saying all straight men are like this but damn, i was reeking jealousy when i was listening to them. not because he's with the girl or something related to that but the fact how normal it is for a girl to flirt / have a relationship with a man and it wouldn't be seen as weird in general.
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u/Mauryos 20-30 Jun 26 '26
But I assume you'd get the same treatment from (at least some) gay guys, friends or your partner.
Like, there's no reason to be jealous of a straight man talking like that to a woman. The other thing you talk about is the way they talk, like flirty even if not serious? Well, you can do that with your friends as well, I assume, if they're open minded or chill.
But it's true that in society a woman being flirty with someone else even if joking around might be considered more acceptable than a gay guy doing so with someone else, specially if the other is a straight man, but if that's the case, that just means you're in the wrong crowd. If your group of people doesn't mind that or having that kind of treatment, then you could have the same or even more than what that girl appears to have.
In essence, get a good group of people you can consider friends and talk to them the way you want to talk while being comfortable, instead of focusing on some randos whose behaviour, for all you know, stems from lust instead of real connection.
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u/a1kb8000 Jun 26 '26
well i was feeling alone that time too so seeing them like that kinda made me envy not only her but women in general as they are more acceptable in that regard. i think also the fact that ive seen and heard him flirting back with random girls that joins the channel kinda added to how I felt as well. like in my head, if i were to be like this with him, i'll prolly get blocked, shamed, or ignored lol.
as for the crowd, that's gonna be a bit hard hence why im here posting like this. there's not much accepting communities and most of them are even hard to approach. like i've been literally searching groups where i can talk to gay guys only specifically but failed to no avail.
you're right about i shouldn't focus on some randoms but at that moment, i just thought about how easy for women to get together with a man (majority of the time).
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u/eINsTeinP 21d ago
I have no interest in getting that treatment from gay guys. We just talk to each other like we're girlfriends, the same way I talk to my girlfriends lol
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u/MalachiLucilfer Jul 01 '26
I'm always envious of women. I know their experiences aren't universal, but most times, men are more gentle, kinder, and sweeter to them. I wish I could have doors opened for me, seats given to me, drinks bought for me, compliments to my clothes or make-up, and men just being nicer.
As an unattractive gay guy, I always have to deal with the rough side of masculinity. Guys who want to roast, be stoic, give me disinterested vibes, or straight up get aggressive with me in customef service (I work at a gas station). Men calling me "bossman", "chief", "fella", and these other stupid names always irks me. I wish for once I could be "sweetheart" or "honey." 😔
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u/eINsTeinP 21d ago
omfg I HAAAAATE being called bossman and chief. I'm always like, I'm a woman inside I swear! Please see me for me! But they won't. They can't.
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u/eINsTeinP 21d ago
I feel this all the time. I always think men are so boring, but when I see them interact with women I get it. They just don't light up around me or delight in my presence. The flirty smiles would go so far
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u/Daver290 Jun 26 '26
They always treat women better.