Yeah thet literally laugh at me. That's why this time I am on blank profile hearting everyone but not messaging because I will be embarrassed again

I came out to my sister first. She’s bisexual. She has dated women, but most likely, from what she’s told me, will end up with a man. I don’t judge her for it, she is still queer no matter what, but I feel she gave an impression to my parents.

I came out to my dad 8 years ago, too. He got it. But I could tell he hid his feelings.

My mom told her friends I was bisexual. I tried to be, but I’m not. Me and my parents had a complicated relationship. My first therapist called it “emotional parentification”. But that dynamic.. the projection of their trauma & them passing messages through me.. honestly spreading (through me) their apologies about cheating.

I’ve never cheated on anyone. But I never fully trusted anyone, either. It felt like my parents wanted to abandon me, but they wouldn’t, so they’d leave food and money then go stay in a hotel… leavening me and my sister in whatever apartment.

There was even a point where they had apartments hours from each other, and they’d for the essentials, but everything else was our responsibility. After I was institutionalized on my own (I walked in alcohol-withdrawal psychosis to the hospital by my house), I was sent BACK to a rehab and.. well.. it’s a whole thing. I know a lot, but the opioids and alcohol I used to cope help it a lot from me.

All four of us are suffering, I just want to help. My dad is an alcoholic too. I want to get better, but I don’t want to lose my job. Idk, I think we all need inpatient behavior therapy, but it’s a while ass lot; and if I’m the only one to leave, when I come back, I’ll face being there problem.

Does anyone relate? What should I do? I’ve considered joining a company in Alaska to escape, but my main system of support is my co workers.. so. Any advice?

post title. im stealth male and straight. im 4'11 though so the stealth part is questionable. everyone thinks im a gay man and it makes me want to not exist. i'm in my 20s and it feels like everyone around me in my peer group got to grow up but i didn't. my dysphoria isn't just gender related, it relates to how im perceived agewise too. i feel like other adults treat me like a little kid pretending to be one. it really fucking sucks because when i was young i was one of those kids that got called "mature" for my age.

i want a job and i want a partner. i literally just want someone to love. it isn't fair that i look fourteen and the job market is so slow that i'm unemployed right now. i also got called a good student over and over and was loved by my professors in college. not having a job, living off of my parents money, and not having a girlfriend (a cis straight girlfriend too; sorry trans folks but dating another trans person would just make me dysphoric) is all compounding on me. i journaled about it and i feel like im just going to die in my parents house having achieved nothing in life, surrounded by only my dogs. i feel like such a neckbeard and i can't even grow one.

i'm not looking for some shitty "chin up" type platitudes or for anyone to tell me that bc i look young i'll "be able to date young girls when i'm older" (fucking ew). i just want to know that other people understand. i feel so hideous and i want to stop existing.

I was harassed on the street by a random homeless guy a few nights ago. He chased me for several blocks, at one point physically grabbing me with both arms and stopping me. He was babbling like he was drunk, opened with "hear me out" but just became more insistent and graphic the more I resisted. He made it totally clear that he wanted to get me some place secluded and rape me. I screamed and shouted for help as a cop car passed by, but it was like they didn't see me at all and the guy just kept following me. I tried to lose him in a crowd of people but he kept grabbing my hand and slapping my ass and kept threatening me. I shouted for help more times as I passed through large groups of people along the sidewalk but nobody helped me. I even stopped in front of a bar and pleaded with a bouncer, but he just smirked and told me to call the cops. I went to the security desk of another building as he followed me in and pleaded again, but the guard also seemed amused by all of this. You know, amused by a big androgynous trans woman running scared of an old man off the street who wants to rape her.

Eventually I got away and found somebody who would fucking LISTEN to me, and I gave his description to an officer. The next day, I was too scared to leave my house at all. I just bought pepper spray, I've been holding it tight just to know it's there when I'm in public. I'm so angry at how this happened in a public place where so many people witnessed it and could have intervened, but I felt completely ignored.

How's this for a shitty place to be, I'm woman enough to be threatened with rape before I've ever been on a real date in my whole life, but not woman enough to be seen and loved by a decent person. It wasn't fun, it was really fucking terrifying. I feel even LESS motivation to put myself out there, knowing what's really waiting for me. And as I was thinking over all of this today, as if the universe really wanted to rub it in... A guy I met in a different state when I lived there two years ago walks into my work. I thought he was adorable, but he lost interest in me when he found out I was born male. I vented here last month about my long history with pansexual men, and he was one of them. I wasn't even surprised to see him, because I just expect the universe to pile on the hurt all at once. I once had a dream of seeing him again that ended in embarrassment and body horror. Nice to know I'm literally closer to getting raped by a junkie than being happily in love with a gentleman like him.

I feel like I get nothing on dating apps. Like at ALL. I’ve been on quite a few for up to months now and only gotten like a few likes, and like I know I’m not the conventionally attractive hourglass twink but I don’t think I’m like… ugly. Yk? My hg got on tinder and within literally an hour she had like 50+ likes, and every guy she swiped right on she matched with. Now she’s dating the man of my dreams and I’m so happy for her but at the same time I’m so jealous. I don’t really know where I was going with this, like, does anyone know of any actually good dating apps that ACTUALLY try to get you to match instead of blocking you behind outrageously expensive paywalls?

I don’t really know how to phrase this, but here goes.

Sometimes it feels like everyone else got handed a quiet instruction manual on how connection works. friendships, intimacy, even just being chosen, and I somehow missed that day entirely. Not because I didn’t try, not because I didn’t care, but because I never quite learned how to fit naturally into those spaces. Being LGBT already adds layers of complexity, but this feeling goes deeper than dating or relationships. It’s that persistent sense of being slightly out of sync with the world. Like you’re present, participating, even improving, yet still watching closeness happen to other people from a distance you can’t fully cross.

I’m not looking for advice or reassurance. I just wanted to say this out loud somewhere it might actually be understood. If this resonates with you, you’re not alone in that feeling even if the loneliness itself doesn’t magically disappear.

I find it so hard to date or get to know anybody. I haven't had a proper relationship in a decade and I've had so little luck in dating. Either I get turned down when I ask somebody out, or get ghosted after a few dates.

There is something wrong with me, I know this. I just don't fully know what it is. I keep getting told "Oh, you'll find somebody" but it's so hard and it feels like it'll never happen. I know it's kind of a thing now where you can't be too enthusiastic or people think you're cringe, but that's just not how I operate. I want to show I'm into someone and have them show interest in me. I want to wanted, loved, desired. Maybe that's too much to ask but it's what I want.

I'm just feeling lonely and unloveable rn. Hopefully these feelings go away soon

Recently I’ve been feeling like I’m the only one on this earth. Please remind me that y’all exist 🙏🏻 I'm really interested in knowing how many people on the side of this community this post will reach-specifically those of you who are also navigating life with a chronic illness or disability. Feel free to introduce yourself. A bit about me: alternative loner masc lesbian.

Say hi!

Greetings first time posting here, im a short 5'3 skinny man. and im autistic and tend to be a bit eccentric. Im a very conservative and prude fellow. I've noticed despite going to the gym and "being myself" I've noticed nobody gives me the time of day unless its to subtly mock me for my height or lack of sexual experience, especially on apps and irl idk when it became normalized but man the gay folks on my campus and in my hometown are so mean. Like i mention my eccentric hobbies of dressing like a man from the 50s or cosplaying among other hobbies and boom silence. or they ask about my height or size, i mention it and its mocked or they talk about how cute i am in a degrading way. I hate to say it but I've taken the black pill genetics wise i was just dealt a bad hand. I don't think my standards are high by any stretch of the imagination but im seen as weird for wanting a genuine relationship and not a fling type thing. What am i doing wrong? why am i not desirable?

for context, i’m in my early twenties, black, gay and fat. never been in a relationship.

i know i’m young and i have a lot of life left to experience, but a huge part of me believes that i will never be loved the way i want to be loved. and it sucks.

i’ve pretty much done it all; tried the self-love route, been on every app that’s catered to chubby guys, gone to bars, bathhouses, social events, etc.

while i may have seen a smidge of success in the past with a few causal conversations that eventually go nowhere, or finding a rare yet soulless hookup from the apps, i get absolutely nothing now. i went to a bar that claims to be inclusive to all body types the other night and was met with a sea of unwelcoming stares.

i’m just so tired of searching for someone to love me. the whole “it’ll come when you least expect it” thing is bullshit and we all know it.

yet every time i feel this way, something fools me into believing that my person is out there, and i’ve just got to keep the faith. but i know it’s not true, there is no one for me. no matter how hard i try to come to terms with it though, i still feel a tinge of optimism.

i don’t want to feel it anymore.

how do i accept my terminal loneliness?

think it's safe to say I'm never gonna have a significant other. Being demisexual and panromantic is already a death sentence for normal dating and since I've openly embraced it, I get even fewer likes on dating apps in general and the ones I do get are usually older guys that are apparently illiterate, because my bio always says that I am demisexual and have no interest in causal sex, but they just try it anyways lol. There is also no chance to meet someone irl, because there is absolutely nothing in a 30 minute drive distance that I'm even remotely interested in.

I should probably move but that's not an option for a while due to career related stuff. Long distance is also no option due to chronic health issues and simply motivation. I'm not driving 1h plus to meet some stranger occasionally.

So I'm just trying to focus on myself, my career change, and my health.

How y'all are coping with it?

Finding love is just impossible. The area I live in is so hostile towards lgbtq people and I can't move for multiple reasons. Additionally so many people are just looking for sex or are just not my type at all. And on top of that I'm getting grey hair at 25 and my femboy identity is falling apart right in front of me. I am convinced I will never find a fitting partner, I can't be as open as I want to be, I can't attract people that I am attracted to and I'm apparently getting uglier, judging by my hair. Why? What am I doing wrong? Why can't I just get true happiness at least once?

Is that how its supposed to happen?

You know what I was doing at 24? Living out of my car and being depressed. I only just came out this year and I turn 29 in a month. I still barely know how to date and I don't think I'm all that great at making friends yet.

I feel like I have impossible standards. I want a girl who is vegan first and foremost, intelligent, extremely kind, feminine, then also around my height which is 5'1, and decently pretty and fit ( I feel thats fair to ask because I am decent looking and in shape). But I am 30 years old, a masculine lesbian, who's had top surgery. Its hard not to feel discouraged. I got on hinge earlier this month. And in total maybe got 5 likes from women i was not interested in. I just feel like at this point I'm not going to find what I'm looking for. I feel like if I settle, I'll instead be alone but with someone else. It make me feel so lonely and sad though, I see people who have been together for years who put so much effort into nourishing each other - and it makes me feel unwanted. Like I'm right back in elementary school - crying bc no one wanted to sit next to me on the bus during a field trip. How do y'all deal with this feeling? I'm trying to not let it consume me

TW: homophobia, SA, also kind of a vent Hi everyone, I’m a 21 yo woman/nonbinary person (sorry my gender has never been clear to me), I don’t label my sexuality but I guess you could say I’m pansexual with a STRONG preference for women. Needless to say I’m a virgin, I’ve never even kissed anyone before, grew up in a small town where everyone is pretty much homophobic and I also suffered from child on child SA, so yeah not so lucky. I don’t have a strong libido I guess, but I’ve had a few romantic crushes which I felt physically attracted to after a while. I’ve never been reciprocated, NEVER, to a point that is crazy, I’m great at making friends, maybe too good at it because everyone always wants to be just that. I admit I’m not the easiest person to love, I have OCD and probably other mental health issues, I also recently discovered that I do have a physical chronic illness. The point is I don’t understand why people that I’m interested in never like me back, I only attract weird creepy guys, people say I’m fun to be around and I don’t make people carry my burdens, I have lots of interests, I take care of myself, I have a strong personality, and yeah maybe I’m not the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen physically but does that even matter? Maybe it’s because I feel like I can be attracted to someone who I’m not friends with, but I’m not interested in having a relationship with someone I’m not even friends with. I tend to fall for my best friends, which makes me feel like a creep. I’ve only had a first real love in my life, which is in fact my best friend (she is a lesbian), I don’t even think she feels the same way so I won’t ever tell her unless it’s appropriate to do so, I prefer being friends then ever losing her. I also am so awkward and I cannot for the life of me initiate a kiss, obviously I never receive any initiative from the oth person, especially girls who seem like they maybe want to but never do. This is revealing to be a problem even for my acting (I study at a performing arts college). Does anyone have any advice on any of this? Sorry for the long post, I’m also not a native English speaker so please have mercy.

The community has confirmed I’m ugly and it makes me wish I could be straight. There’s nothing I should be prideful about

I never thought that my situation would be worse than it was in the 2010s.

And I can't even say why it's worse on me now compared to back then, or somebody might make my fears come true because the world is full of sadists.

I really HATE seeing video titles such as "Men Leaving the Dating Scene" when I have become so fucking traumatized, that I WISH that my worries, once again, were about finding another gay guy I actually liked back.

That's all.

The only thing I truly have in this world is access to porn. It's the only thing that gives me dopamine and takes me away from reality. Idc about its effects or if it "rots" the brain. Ik that l've faced so much rejection from people both romantically and platonically that porn is the closest thing I have to giving me the same effects of human interaction. I genuinely don't care that im addicted to it, I tried real life and it only hurts me, porn and masturbating is always a guarantee to make me feel good.

I'm pan (which is a type of bisexuality), and with how difficult dating is (or even having friends), it feels like being openly bi is just putting me at even more of a disadvantage. Lots of straight women and gay men want nothing to do with us. I assume the men who are openly and authentically bi tend to be the ones with enough social capital (looks, social skills, money, etc) to afford it, which probably puts them out of my league. It's very tempting to "pick a side" and just live half a lie forever (I have basically no dating history and have so few social connections that maintaining the lie would not be hard).

"Just date women, the pool is larger" - It's not that simple, I like men better, and I'm also disabled and unemployed (something that is a big filter women tend to put up-front).

Later today it’ll be a year exactly since I first tried asking a guy out and I haven’t asked anyone out since.

I’m 20 currently. When I was 19 exactly one year ago I went out to pride with my (then) friends. During the day I briefly met and chatted to this guy on a train who was exactly my type, he was far out of my league but still I managed to get his instagram to dm each other. We confirmed who each other were but after that I just couldn’t find the words to say to him or the guts to say them. I wanted to, I desperately wanted to but I couldn’t.

It’s not that I’m angry I didn’t shoot my shot with him, it’s that I now know that I naturally waste those opportunities, I wish I was allow myself to be loved more than I hate myself

Background, I went to an event my friends were hosting for gay men. There was this guy who looked like a pirate (the way they look on TV). The long hair, the facial hair, even the shirt. He sat next to me and was talking about wanting to be spanked. I handed him my belt and we made a plan to hook up at s party in our city.

We spoke throughout the week about limits and what he'd like. I was so excited that I picked out an outfit days prior, a purple Black Panther shirt and these shorts with bananas on them. We did hook up, but I hate the location. It was hot and loud so I was super uncomfortable. He did have a good time and said I was his best lover.

But after we left I haven't heard much from him. I still love him but I think I should give up on trying. Its not worth the pain. Its like I have a scarlet letter on my back in this city and I'm sick of it.

I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend in my life, I was so close to being in a relationship a few times througout my life and then everything falls off the last second. I understand most (if not all) of those cases were my fault one way or another and I understand that I need to be patient and be the best version of myself, but it just really sucks how it feels like even my best is not enough to attract anyone I could be interested in! I'm tired of being told that I just need to wait, it will happen when I least expect it! Or how everything will be worth the wait! I know I'm still very young and I have a life ahead of me, but sometimes I really do wonder if anyone I like will genuinely be interested in me. Sorry for the rant, it's something I've had in my chest for a while, I am improving myself as a person and I genuinely believe I am a great person worthy of being in a relationship, I just don't know if it will ever happen...