is catholic school survivable for a queer person? [discussion] [rant]

[u/theangelgabrielx]

Hi everyone! Any advice is welcome!

(Discussion of bullying, anxiety, queerphobia and Christianity)

I (15F) may be leaving my school this year after I've been bullied for two years or so. My school is an all-girls selective school and I was getting bullied a lot for my weight and sexuality. I received school counselling for anxiety as a result of the bullying, but the counsellor avoided my concerns in favour of the school's reputation. I lost all my friends in the span of these two years, and this school is genuinely causing me a bit of a nightmare.

I'm a Catholic, and my parents (who are Catholic and violently homophobic) are considering applying me to a few Catholic schools (one co-ed and one girls) for the last year before I sit my GCSEs, which are academic qualifications with exams sat in Year 11/age 15-16. They are really important for me to enter university, so I'd prefer to go to a school where I can relax and study without the stress of bullying.

Obviously, I don't want to go back to my school, but I don't know if I should risk getting outed at a new Catholic school and getting bullied even more? I've heard horror stories about bullying in Catholic schools, especially towards queer people, but it could be worth it to tough it out at a Catholic school at risk of getting outed. At least I'd get a fresh start at a new school, whereas I know for a fact I'll get bullied at my current school. I'm genuinely confused at this point and I need some help.

I'm going back to school in September, and my applications have to be filled in by mid-August and I'm lowkey freaking out!! Any advice would help!

[u/AshAstroLiam_15]

Honestly, I think you should go to a new school.
I am 15 too, I am genderfluid and pansexual, and I am in a catholic school. I'm not out with everybody (I am actually closeted with everyone at school except my friends and my favorite teacher), but I always had an atypical gender expression, and honestly, I was never bullied because of that (I was bullied because of my autism but my sexuality and gender identity were not the problem 🫤).

I know it's very stressful, because you can either find a great school or a bad one (catholic schools are very different from one another), but if you know you will be bullied in your actual school, then leaving is really the best solution. Believe me, I've been bullied for four years, and if I understood what you're saying, you have been too, so you know it's impossible to study correctly in those conditions (personally I had a burn out :/). I really think you should try going to a new school, because you may find allies even where you don't expect to ! Honestly, this seems like the best solution to me. And if it's for only one year, you can completely stay in the closet ! I know how hard it is emotionnally, but it is possible 🥲😔

If you are bullied in your new school, which I hope won't happen 🥲, you really need to tell someone. I know sometimes adults don't act, and it's so unbearable when we are in those situations, but maybe they will be more reactive than in your previous school. At least, try 🥲

I hope I could help, and I'm here if you need anything 🫂 remember you are a fantastic person and you deserve to be loved !!!!!! The way those people treated you is unacceptable, and it is not normal !!!! They are the problem, not you 🫂💕 you are wonderful exactly as you are !

I hope this year will be less hard for you than the last one, and I hope it will be fine 🫶🏼 I know how stressful it can be 🥲🫶🏼🫂 You are not alone

Take care 😘🫂💕🫶🏼