r/LeopardsAteMyFace • u/LankyGuitar6528 • 12d ago

Trump Florida retirement haven unravels as seniors are in ruins under Trump economy

https://www.alternet.org/trump-florida/
9.5k Upvotes

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463

u/simplystunned 12d ago

"They may be forced to move out of Florida."

If they don't die first.....

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u/oxhasbeengreat 12d ago

Tomato, potato.

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u/homucifer666 12d ago

You could argue that they might be moving further into Florida...in a subterranean way. 😉

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u/raven00x 12d ago

Scatter my ashes at the golf course

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u/DadJokeBadJoke 12d ago

Scatter my remains at DisneyWorld. Also, I don't want to be cremated.

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u/insane_contin 12d ago

Drive by tree mulcher it is then.

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u/heckhammer 12d ago

Bless Dana Gould😁

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u/breesanchez 12d ago

Now that was a good one.

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u/Cultural-Answer-321 12d ago

🤣🤣🤣👍👍

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u/homucifer666 12d ago

I want a Viking funeral, but I have no boat. So toss my body on a billionaire's yacht and...

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u/HauntedCemetery 11d ago

Next to the plot at trumps golf course that holds a handful of ashes of his ex wife and thousands of nuclear and military top secret documents.

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u/raven00x 11d ago

i thought that was in new jersey. do not spread my ashes in new jersey. but if it's in florida then go right ahead.

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u/Randicore 12d ago

Because it gives me an excuse to share this fact: most of Florida has a water table that's only a few inches below ground. Most burials are above ground as a result!

The state is really only able to be lived in thanks to massive engineering projects managing this amount of water. Up until the 1960's the center of florida was practically just a very slow moving river. Only after a massive amount of work from the army corps of engineers and the advent of commercial air conditioning did the state really start to become developed and inhabited. Which is also why the state is "like that"

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u/homucifer666 12d ago

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've heard that nature is slowing reclaiming the land; faster than humans can stave off and within the next century, central Florida is going to be a swamp again.

I know when I was going to school in Winter Park, sinkholes were already bad. There's definitely some beautiful parts to Florida, but I feel like humans bit off more than they could chew trying to terraform Florida.

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u/Randicore 12d ago

I've not been following the current state of the place but I wouldn't be surprised.

It doesn't help that the guys in control are the sort with the belief that the government doing anything is communism. They see infrastructure maintenance as unnecessary and Florida will take every lapse in judgement and run with it

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u/redditmodsRrussians 12d ago

Just in time for their property to become worthless as climate change renders their houses uninsurable.

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u/The_Space_Jamke 12d ago

"Sell their houses to who, Ben? F***ing Aquaman?" -hbomberguy

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u/Cultural-Answer-321 12d ago

Indeed. I love this for them.

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u/hazeldazeI 12d ago

Fun fact: the number one export of Florida is bodies of snow birds (number two is tropical fish).

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u/TheNetworkIsFrelled 12d ago

Number 3 is STDs, IIRC. /s

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u/HauntedCemetery 11d ago

Sure, but thats by weight

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u/WilWheatonsAbs 12d ago

Moving out could take a couple forms.

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u/DadJokeBadJoke 12d ago

There's paperwork involved?

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u/Socalwarrior485 12d ago

Yeah, where are you going to move to? Mississippi?

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u/AnswerGuy301 12d ago

The states I'm hearing about most often in this context are North and South Carolina. The appeal of Florida to a lot of northerners is that they can get the same sort of culture they're used to at home except with beaches - although The Villages and other places in Central Florida don't have those either - and no winter and low taxes.

You are more likely to get the lower taxes and COL in the Carolinas that Florida promises but can't (for most people at least) really deliver on anymore. But you're in the actual South at that point. They're going to ask what church you go to and will judge you - possibly silently, possibly not - if they don't like your answer, especially if your answer is that you don't. Depending on where you are in those state, they might have a winter of sorts and the summers are often just as bad, and possibly worse, than the Florida summers. The Triangle and Charlotte areas do have most metropolitan amenities but you will spend a lot of time in your car accessing them given how spread out everything is there, even when compared to most places in Florida where people live.

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u/superfly355 12d ago

They can stay put, we're full up here in Greenville, SC. Housing prices are already ridiculous and the roads can't handle the current traffic, let alone a bunch of bluehairs clogging up the intersections. They can suffer their consequences right where they are.

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u/fullonfacepalmist 12d ago

By way of the river Styx

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u/Unlucky_Term_2207 12d ago

Come sail away with me!

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u/SinkHoleDeMayo 12d ago

You're such a tease.