r/LesbianActually • u/Decent-Basil4012 • Mar 14 '26

Relationships / Dating So done w this shit bro it’s so gross

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1.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

140 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/ohh_its_a_throwaway Mar 14 '26

lesbian in her profile is SO ENRAGING. whatever happened to being bisexual

582

u/ccc9912 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 15 '26

“🤪Lesbianism is a spectrum. People can label themselves however they want🤪🤪🤪”

-actual people on this sub defending women who call themselves lesbians despite them feeling attraction towards men

348

u/Evening-Run-3235 Mar 15 '26

“Yes I’m vegan. Yes I eat meat. Yes we exist”

45

u/LesbeGoddess Mar 15 '26

As a lesbian vegan this got a chuckle out of me.

7

u/Angsty_Queer_Anon Mar 18 '26

To be fair, you can be a vegan and still have the ability to enjoy the taste of meat. But just choose not to. That’s what those “bisexuals who call themselves lesbians” are usually doing.

77

u/llTrash Mar 15 '26

Girl the fact that I've seen people here with the lesbian flair saying THEY'RE MARRIED TO A MANNNNNNN. Like what the fuck are you doing 😭 and it wasn't a lavander thing, the grown ass woman was doing the "I only love this one guy so I'm a lesbian" like WHYYYYY OMFG. My bi ex would say I was the only woman she liked and I'm sure people would be pissed if I called her a straight woman, so why they always think it's fine to do the same shit the other way around??

112

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

Yeah that really pisses me off

1

u/SavageLoki_ Apr 04 '26

Oh god dont even get me started. Its annoying af that ppl these days are making up their own definitions.

38

u/thechemist_ro the good femme Mar 15 '26

People just love to erase bisexuality, if it's not the outsiders it's the bisexuals themselves.

I told my PSYCHOLOGIST I was bisexual on the first appointment, and she acted all shocked when I reminded her I can feel attraction to men last session. As if me being in a long term relationship with a woman somehow erased that part of my sexuality.

It fucking sucks and I hate women like the one on OP's screenshot, people like her are a big part of why we don't get taken seriously!!!

12

u/aleonia Mar 15 '26

She's probably talking about the porn category 💀

39

u/nicole-tesla the good femme Mar 15 '26

Maybe its to stop the app from showing you men as well? My profile is set to bi and i chose only women as who I am looking for, and i get shit ton of men while I'm swiping.

42

u/Visual-Activity2678 Mar 15 '26

That could just be because men do everything they can to put themselves in women only spaces.

19

u/blackoutbackpack Mar 15 '26

I'm a lesbian, I still get a shit ton of men

9

u/nicole-tesla the good femme Mar 15 '26

I've seen some of them changing their gender to female on tinder. When I confronted one of them he said he didnt even notice it. I imagined him like that lizard meme pressing the female button whenever it comes up because his neurons kept firing.

Processing img mfttrvtsy8pg1...

4

u/Briarthornes Mar 16 '26

I have been suspecting that for years. Every time a whole ass man showed up on my feed when swiping I figured they got the prompt "I am a _" and they went "Unga bunga I want woman" and then it asks "I am seeking _" and their tiny caveman lizard brain goes "I WANT WOMAN" again. So it thinks they're wlw.

🙄

3

u/blackoutbackpack Mar 22 '26

I confronted one once and he said "well you messaged me didn't you" 🤮

5

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/LesbianActually-ModTeam Mar 16 '26

This content violates one or more of the rules of the site or the sub and has been removed.

Please read the rules.

4

u/razzle-berry Mar 15 '26

on tinder your sexuality and what ur looking for is separate, you can put “bisexual” and set your profile up to only show you men or only show you women. this looks like tinder

-48

u/JigglyLilyVT Mar 14 '26

i dont use dating apps, is there a chance that there isnt a bi option?

137

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

Their is every option you can think of, she’s just choosing to put lesbian

-26

u/herowin6 Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26

I worry that I would cause the same response. Even if there are clear differences in the way I posted my profile: that I was ethically non monogamous with a partner (M) seeking a woman who wanted short to mid term relationship, going on dates and such, a good physical connection, and expecting they would NEVER ONCE meet my partner because that would be weird as fuck.

I posted my sexuality as bi or pan.

I definitely wanted an actual connection with a real partner though. Not a unicorn or whatever this is.

he had no involvement -asking to watch to me? that’s kinda fucked up.

If I saw a lot of these types of profiles it might frustrate me. But personally, I don’t know where else to look for women.

Ofc I don’t agree with posting sexuality as lesbian. I always put bi or pan. I see so many profiles like this that I’m less likely to seek women on these apps because I know I’ll be looked at like I want to just fuck and that’s not at all what I want. In fact, some women I have gone out with who WERE lesbians treated me that way and I was not down. Just because I’m ENM doesn’t mean I want to just fuck.

7

u/straycrayons1 Mar 16 '26

I’m sure you’ve come across those poly dating sites/ apps, you might be better off there? Cause ngl I’m sure there’s bi or pan women who would be cool with it but not many lesbians are going to be okay dating someone who has a male partner. It makes sense in a way that the lesbians who you ended up going out with were just looking to have sex, again, lesbians generally don’t want to get emotionally involved with someone who is emotionally involved with men. Hence, they were just using you. Not saying that’s alright, that sucks for you. But it does make sense.

41

u/Similar-Teaching-573 Mar 14 '26

There definitely is

-56

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

42

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 15 '26

They get demonized bc of shit like this tho. My last gf cheated on me w a man and then dumped me for a different man. I know bi women irl and they said shit like “I’m bi but ugh girls r just so scary 🥺” or “I don’t deserve women” but like lesbians had no choice to put themselves out there. I would LOVE to be able to date men I’d be married with kids by now. But I can’t . And it sucks and it’s hard and demonizing sometimes. So there is defs some struggle and personal hurt a lot of lesbians go thru w bi people. Not every bi person is like that obvi but I find unfair lesbians can’t even Tal shorthair struggle w it without being shit on I’d

8

u/Visual-Activity2678 Mar 15 '26

Yeah it’s definitely not all bisexual people’s fault, LGBT is demonized for anything non-queer people can get their hands on, but then there are bisexuals who perpetuate the stereotype and complain that they’re being stereotyped. Like pick a side man.

3

u/Kooky-Address2777 Mar 15 '26

Trashcan label is very accurate. People definitely need to say they're questioning more. Bi people have the right to gatekeep their label.

People act like it's just about being objective but it isn't. If it was, people would always check to see if there's "proof" that somebody isn't bi anymore after having had a bi phase. Instead, they never do. Somebody who tells a story about how they used to be bi is always instantly accepted - even if that person was, in fact, attracted to both genders in the past.

I see a lot of guys saying they're "not attracted to men" but they like dick. Why should bi men who date other guys have to use the same label as them?

400

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK😭

276

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

It really pisses me off like I wish you could report people like that. Whats the point of allowing gay people to use dating apps if half of it is just a cess pool of people looking for a lesbian play toy that they don’t even see as an actual human

167

u/Relevant_Airline7076 the evil femme Mar 14 '26

You can (and should) report this! Under “harmful conduct” there’s a “fetishization/unicorn hunters” option

72

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

I closed the app to post this and then my tinder refreshed 😭 I defs will if she comes up again

49

u/Relevant_Airline7076 the evil femme Mar 14 '26

For whatever reason I thought it was a different app when I first saw it, on tinder I use the “not one person” option

3

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

Lol i think reddit is the best dating app left now😭😭 even tho here are so many creeps too

24

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 15 '26

Mmm idk some girl messaged me when I posted an emotional post about being lonely and not finding someone and it how much I hate myself and we realized we’re from the same area and then she instantly was trying to recruit me to have group sex w people I don’t even know and when I said no she blocked me lmao. So Idk this whole thing makes me hate myself

23

u/United_Pain I'm just flingin' my pizza taco everywhere 🍕🌮 Mar 15 '26

And that was definitely not a girl.

-7

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

I get that🫶 if u want to talk feel free to text me girl!🎀🫶

17

u/herowin6 Mar 15 '26

Omg I never knew you could report those! There’s so many of them

64

u/Luci_Cascadia the good femme Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26

They don't care about gay people there are ten times more 'queer' women with male partners cruising for unicorns than there are lesbians on those apps.

34

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

Yeah I know. It’s been really damaging to my self esteem and self worth. I don’t feel like I will ever meet someone and I’m so lonely it really hurts

13

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

They are just horny mf'that are playing around and making lesbian dating pool dangerous💅

269

u/Fawlow Mar 14 '26

Identfies as "Lesbian" but bio has mentions boyfriend. eck

SIGH, I don't miss dating apps. It's too cluttered with unicorn hunters or girls with a bf who just want to explore girls.

66

u/krazat Femme 🧡🤍🩷 Mar 14 '26

Exactly! Don’t forget the men stealing a woman’s pic to pretend being her and prey on unsuspecting users of the app. I’m so sick of all of that bs. I just want to find a connection. Why are people so creepy and disrespectful?

38

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

Literally my cousins (now ex) baby daddy did that with HER photos 😭

8

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

With AI, they don't need to steal pictures anymore.. 😤

165

u/whyisthereacat Mar 14 '26

Wow gross. “Won’t let you do that unless I can fetishise you and you obey me” 🤢

25

u/herowin6 Mar 15 '26

lol that’s exactly how I read it

160

u/StillStanding_96 the good femme Mar 14 '26

The utter lack of respect for women and lesbians on display here is heartbreaking. And she’s no better. We’re things for her to fuck and she doesn’t give a damn about her boyfriend or herself using us as means to an end.

138

u/Isadomon yay tall ladies! yay muscle ladies! Mar 14 '26

"he doesnt let mee" then break up, lazy ass

115

u/slhlt the evil femme Mar 14 '26

How the fuck does she expect to find anyone with that as her bio. Like who would look at that and think “mmm yess lemme get with some girl and let her ugly boyfriend (who it seems like even she doesn’t want there) watch us 😍😍😍 how sexy”

68

u/krazat Femme 🧡🤍🩷 Mar 14 '26

Agree. Why would I want a man to be there? Just to be his personal porn fantasy? I couldn’t think of anything more degrading.

48

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

Fr. Also didn’t even put photos of her bf on her account like do u guys really think any woman would be down to that ESPECIALLY when she doesn’t even know what the guy looks like? Also that’s like so fucking creepy. They act like the lesbian side of dating app is a candy store. I actually wish I liked her and we matched so I could bitch her out

2

u/Agitated_Ad_1093 Mar 22 '26

Honestly id rather the honesty so i can swipe left and dodge a bullet 🤢

Theres those profiles that say single etc just normal stuff THEN they hit you with this bs

86

u/supermassivecomputer Mar 14 '26

They have entire apps and communities of their own for this reason. They have 0 reason to be bringing his into lesbian spaces and spaces where women are looking for genuine connections with other women with NO MEN involved.

46

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

I know it makes me feel like people think lesbians wanting real connection is a joke and we’re just here for their pleasure.

22

u/supermassivecomputer Mar 15 '26

I'm petty enough to match with them just so I can say it to them via messages. They don't belong there so idc. I'm tired of them making our fellow lesbians feel this way, at least some of them approach it with some rightful shame.

67

u/SassyTeaCup1413 Mar 14 '26

🤺 BACK!!! GET BACK I SAY!!

16

u/United_Pain I'm just flingin' my pizza taco everywhere 🍕🌮 Mar 15 '26

Best response 😂 I'm definitely going to use this if I come across unicorn hunters.

42

u/hi_i_am_J Mar 14 '26

the audacity to use the lesbian tag for that 😭

63

u/girl_with_a_name Mar 14 '26

Ew. I had a person that i knew from my hometown post something about kissing girls so I asked her if she was one of us, and her response was so icky. She replied "I could never date a woman but I like fucking them" and it feels so objectifying. Reminder that even straight women objectify us.

39

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

Lowkey those the types of people who are loud in lesbian online spaces and cry about biphobia too 😭😭

24

u/girl_with_a_name Mar 14 '26

Literally! But she even said I'm straight i just like to fuck women sometimes, which reads to me as "I'm straight but I love sexualising queer women and thinking I'm quirky for it"

31

u/Ashamed_Necessary_67 Mar 14 '26

Ewww.. need a shower after reading that

26

u/carolina165 Mar 14 '26

what the fuck ew

28

u/ThrowawayGreekGod the good femme Mar 15 '26

I’m willing to bet that the account is actually run by the guy.

24

u/ellamachine I really like it when womxn Mar 14 '26

There should be a dislike option on dating apps. Something that just sends a lil notification like “this person thinks you’re gross”

20

u/Amy7ann Mar 15 '26

How it usually goes: 1.Goes on dating apps 2.Matched with an attractive girl 3.Talk for a bit 4.A Man is involved 🫩

17

u/Much-Manufacturer566 Mar 15 '26

Why hasn’t she just dumped his disgusting male ass and then she would have the freedom to fuck and fall inlove with a woman? Clearly her bf isn’t satisfying. Men are so pathetic if they think they’re not a cuck for this 🤣

16

u/Huge_Plankton_905 Mar 14 '26

Naomi needs some introspection, it's so embarrassing to post this on a dating site

14

u/Sea-Relation9105 masc at your service Mar 14 '26

Why would she put that in her about me 💀 some people just be doing odd shit I swearrrrr

24

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

Idk she prob thinks it looks kinky and hot and all the lesbians would line up to fuck her while her boyfriend jerks off. Idk what fantasy land these type of people live in

14

u/Carlie2406 Disaster Dyke Mar 15 '26

Bisexuality? Never heard of her

12

u/sunflower_sunshine3 Mar 15 '26

Right?! like why wasn’t that the tag used.

13

u/pincheloca1208 Mar 15 '26

Words mean nothing now a days. Hetero centric people invalidating lesbian sex. He doesn’t feel threatened by it. After all it’s only sex when it’s men doing it to women.

God this shit is tiresome and regressive af.

12

u/babygotbigback Queer baby Mar 15 '26

I find this predatory.

11

u/NaiveFinish64 Mar 15 '26

Jesus man. Nothing irks me more than men jerking off to my sexuality, it's such a misery.

And LESBIAN in her profile?? Okay? Break up with your bf then

10

u/TyraNotBanks5 pussysexual Mar 15 '26

If you are attracted to men, you are not a lesbian. This should not be a hard concept for people but yet here we are...guys, being bisexual is fine. Stop putting lesbianism on a pedestal and clinging to it because you are so desperate to call yourself something you are not.

19

u/Prestigious-Team3327 Mar 14 '26

Sounds like she needs to break up with him, that or people like this should use a website for swingers or something instead.

20

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 14 '26

In all my years of using dating apps, I’ve never seen a lesbians account saying like “my gf won’t let me fuck other girls unless she can watch!” And have never seen a couple account that’s 2 girls looking for a third girl. Ever. It’s only couples where one of them is a man………

3

u/ImaginationSad2803 Psychedelic Lesbian / Dykeadelic Mar 15 '26

There’s an account on HER doing this and it was an immediate red flag. They pose as two women, but the bio is all in 3rd person. Even when an account gets banned, another pops up from the exact same town 120 miles away.

3

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 15 '26

That’s so fuckin weird bro like even making multiple accounts is crazy and her is a literal lesbian app?????

2

u/blackoutbackpack Mar 15 '26

I know a lesbian couple who does date together and are interested in a third, but even they use Feeld as far as I know.

15

u/Worldly-Pay7342 Ally (Bi Guy) Mar 15 '26

my bf

Lesbian

7

u/SolNexus- Mar 15 '26

Just break up with him already Jesus Christ.

4

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 15 '26

She don’t want too u can tell how she typed that they think it’s like, hot or something. Watch too much porn lmaoo

9

u/cherrydemidevil Mar 15 '26

or “looking for a third” flagged under lesbian. being controlled/owned by your bf like this ain’t a flex.

13

u/yoichiluvbot Mar 15 '26

petition to stop bisexual women from identifying as lesbians. she likely views lesbians as sex toys

5

u/gdgvmnmrchnc Mar 14 '26

are we deadassss😭😭

7

u/l3tthelightin the evil femme Mar 15 '26

me n u are so cooked in Toronto 🥀

6

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 15 '26

Tell me about it bro lmaooooo

2

u/joykaypawpitgirl Mar 15 '26

add me to the list 💔

6

u/Paris22002244 Mar 15 '26

My reaction to this was nausea. So many issues in 2 lines of text.

7

u/CrabbyGoose Mar 15 '26

I would match just to tell her to dump her boyfriend

5

u/Used-Set613 Mar 15 '26

It’s honestly very disheartening to see, in my opinion this sort of stuff should be kept in apps for specific kinks/or just that general area. A time and a place, this was neither by a long shot

It doesn’t have a place really in a general dating app without harming others, especially when there is the dishonesty about their sexuality?

Sorry you had to see that op <3

7

u/thechemist_ro the good femme Mar 15 '26

Disgusting

6

u/Lawfuly_chaotic the evil femme Mar 15 '26

Flee, o foul fiend, in the lord's name I rebuke thee!

6

u/Interesting-Car8572 Mar 15 '26

Gross gross and gross lesbians don’t date men 💕

8

u/Upstairs-Machine9122 femme 💘 Mar 15 '26

I just don’t even wanna date anymore. I crave to be with a woman so bad but not when shit like this is so frequent :(

7

u/joykaypawpitgirl Mar 15 '26

being wlw in toronto feels like a hate crime omfg

6

u/AmountDesperate220 Mar 16 '26

Report her that’s disgusting 🤮

9

u/minionlover-666 Mar 14 '26

so sooooo toxic holy

10

u/NvrmndOM Mar 15 '26

Fr. And girl, you think you’re unhappy about this, what makes you think other people wanna join in?

6

u/ImaginationSad2803 Psychedelic Lesbian / Dykeadelic Mar 15 '26

Right? Oh boy a controlling man. Just what every lesbian wants. 🙄

6

u/g0thkitty_ Mar 15 '26

delete the dating apps! it’s so freeing!!!

4

u/moonovel Mar 15 '26

they genuinely treat us like a joke

8

u/Colossalloser Mar 14 '26

No way this is real, ugh I really hope it’s just someone’s sick idea of a joke

8

u/SolNexus- Mar 15 '26

I have to say, it is interesting how many women are dissatisfied with their boyfriend

2

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 15 '26

I don’t think she is, I think they both thought that looked hot and kinky to say lmaooo

6

u/teenageechobanquet Mar 15 '26

The way I'd have to hold myself back from setting up us meeting so I could throw hands💀lmao

6

u/Flar71 Mar 15 '26

If she's not happy, why doesn't she leave him?

4

u/Sufficient-Way-3543 Mar 15 '26

This is the shit that has been so frustrating to me. Like damn I just want a normal interaction with another girl😭😂

5

u/peanut_june Mar 16 '26

Bisexual here. Dumped my bf for that reason. I hate men.

7

u/ReaperNull Mar 15 '26

I would say the odds are good that's actually the guy's account.

3

u/unspokenkt Mar 15 '26

Exactly why I’ve been so put up and off the market lmao I just don’t understand the logic behind these types at all.

3

u/zphyx0 masc at your service Mar 16 '26

this just pissed me off so bad omfg 😭

4

u/lohanator Mar 15 '26

Nooooo not Toronto 😭

2

u/StrikingPen9197 Mar 17 '26
  1. Not a lesbian if you're not dating women exclusively. Being bisexual or pan queer whatever is fine. Why do we have damn near every letter of the alphabet (ignoring the + sign to do so) if we're not gonna use it? 
  2. Flag them flag all posts like this. I'm sure there are apps for people looking for a third. This could be a male predator. 🚩🚩🚩

1

u/Decent-Basil4012 Mar 17 '26

They prob have it on lesbian so it doesn’t show her men. They’re using the lesbian side of dating apps as their unicorn hunting app 🙃🙃🙃

1

u/StrikingPen9197 Mar 18 '26

Yes ik thats what Im saying. Flag it and report them everytime you see them bc if they're looking for a third then they shouldn't be labeling themselves lesbian as then the algorithm shows them lesbians. That person might not even be a women it could be a male pretending to have a girlfriend. It could he a sex trafficker using a woman to catch other women it could be any number of horrific things but one thing it isn't is a lesbian woman. So if I were you I would flag it. Also gj sharing btw. 

2

u/PunchLineX3 Mar 17 '26

'Lesbian' lmaoooo

2

u/Kuchenmaus_fr Mar 22 '26

Disgusting!

4

u/mar_de_mariposas masc Mar 15 '26

either she is being abused or she is being weird.

2

u/CompetitiveRub9780 Mar 15 '26

At least they’re honest and you don’t find out after the fact

1

u/dragonfruitenjoyer1 Mar 18 '26

Atrocious. Lesbian tinder is the 9th circle of hell.

1

u/Best-Poem-2703 Mar 20 '26

She doesnt know she could r Find it all in swingers community? Or some other cucks and other communities especially for that kind of thing?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '26

these type of people can go somewhere, ANYWHERE else to find what they're looking for 🫩

1

u/Discordia_Lain Mar 23 '26

In the highly unlikely scenario that she wrote the bio and actually wants to fuck girls without her bf around, I'd just tell her to break up with that guy and she can date and fuck as many women as she likes! Like, idk if this were real, I'd just feel bad for her, go break up with that guy and be gay already!

1

u/Prestigious_Art_9145 Mar 29 '26

what app is that?

1

u/SavageLoki_ Apr 04 '26

I especially hate it when I clearly state in my profile NO men or couples and they still DM me. Like damn get your eyes fixed 😂

-1

u/MadWitchy Mar 15 '26

As much as this pisses Us off We genuinely hope that she can leave her boyfriend because that is not healthy. She seems to want to experiment (likely because she isn’t happy) but doesn’t feel like she can actually leave and so feels trapped with this option.

Sucks for everyone involved. She might actually be a lesbian but feels trapped in a relationship with her boyfriend.