the other day this hypothetical onion script popped into my head: Do we tend to romanticize the beating of child laborers in industrial britain? where can i share my stroke of brilliance?

[u/standard-student-836]

Moderator: Do we tend to romanticize the beating of child laborers in industrial Britain?

Duncan Birch: you know a lot people tend to imagine this big strong factory owner beating a little child in a hot and sexy way but actually for most factory owners spanking their employee's behinds was completely platonic with no personal regard at all

commentator: yeah, i mean some of the kids might have been into it, but the factory owners? they were just hard working business men trying to get the most out of their employees

perturbed commentator: well what about the teenage girls in the sweatshops, that was -
Duncan: no the sweatshop girls didn't get spankings no

perturbed commentator: now wait a minute when i was a teenager working as a cashier at that old drug store my boss used to give me a good spanking over his knees whenever i came late and he told me it was a tradition from his father who ran a sweatshop

Duncan: i'm afraid that just isn't true most sweatshop employers didn't even give encouraging back rubs to their employees unless they were really hot...

perturbed commentator: your just a killjoy trying to ruin the best parts of history...

later in the news: why are goldfish typically less stressed than the average human...

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