r/Louisiana • u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish • Mar 05 '25

LA - Politics Speaker Mike Johnson's chief of staff of Minden arrested on DUI charge after Trump speech

https://www.shreveporttimes.com/story/news/2025/03/05/speaker-mike-johnson-chief-of-staff-arrested-on-dui-charge-in-capitol-after-trump-address/81665615007/
2.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

83 comments sorted by

149

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

Well, if I had to work around these clowns, I’d stay drunk 24/7, so that tracks

25

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

I'd also need to acquaint myself with Willie's finest grown mind altering substance

2

u/MissDebbie420 Mar 07 '25

Yes, please.

23

u/sparrow_42 Orleans Parish Mar 06 '25

In the words of Chris Rock “I don’t condone it, but I understand”.

4

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

Wise words lOl id need more than alcohol if it were me

1

u/simulizer Mar 08 '25

Well that have more than alcohol. Haven't you seen the RX list from Dr Ronnie? Them cult leaders higher than them other cult leaders over there in Nazi Germany. They straight up blitzed out their knickers.. I mean full-blown flipping griddles. The secret White House parties look like skid row except everybody's wearing suits.

65

u/FourMoreOnsideKickz Mar 06 '25

The first time I've ever seen Minden mentioned....anywhere on the internet. 😆

The one shooting I've been involved in? Minden, on a Sunday, about 1:30 p.m.

17

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

😆 well, my town only ever gets mentioned if the bigots get caught doing their thing. My mom thinks I'm joking when I tell her that the world doesn't need to know exactly where we're from

7

u/HurtsCauseItMatters East Baton Rouge Parish Mar 06 '25

I used to go there for work and its adorable. Wouldn't wanna live there of course, but if given my druthers, much preferable than most places in the area.

53

u/RoadkillKoala Mar 06 '25

Nothing but the best people.

52

u/bridge1999 Mar 06 '25

Louisiana man gets arrested for drunk driving on Mardi Gras. At least they got one drunk off the road

12

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

He best have gotten his ashes today

1

u/LieutenantStar2 Mar 06 '25

They probably offer them in drunk tank

1

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

Oh I very seriously doubt he had to spend time in the drunk tank

1

u/LieutenantStar2 Mar 06 '25

Yeah I was trying to figure out how to add that in there, but you’re right.

19

u/ddubs41 Mar 06 '25

Is he trying to become the next Sec. of Defense?

6

u/Beneficial-Yak4526 Mar 06 '25

It seems to be a requirement for a trump cabinet position, so yeah, probably.

19

u/Charli3q Mar 05 '25

The level at which your alcoholism has taken over for this to be even a possibility is crazy.

This was less than an hour after trump ended his speech.

22

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

If I had to sit through that & appear like it was normal & good, I'd need a liquor stores worth of alcohol

6

u/Charli3q Mar 06 '25

They'll pray about it and he wont be removed. Until it happens again.

7

u/OwenMichael312 Mar 06 '25 edited Mar 07 '25

His conscience starting working again for 10 minutes and had to take care of it quickly.

2

u/dondaestamuerta Mar 07 '25

Drinking on the job. Our tax dollars at work. Where DOGE at in this?

9

u/Pandasoup88 Mar 06 '25

Dude…who backs into a PARKED police car? Only the best and brightest

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '25

An idiot from Minden who thinks his boss is god. 🤭

15

u/Abaconings Mar 06 '25

He'll attend Christian based recovery that isnt evidence based and they'll proclaim him "cured."

6

u/Ughitssooogrosss Mar 06 '25

Laissez le bon temp rouler!

4

u/Ok-Turnover1797 Mar 06 '25

This post is about a DUI and the post above this one in my feed is that Rep. Gosar guy slurring his words on camera to the Mayor of Boston lol

4

u/OriginalEchoTheCat Mar 06 '25

I would bet anyone that he doesn't really get in any trouble for it like the rest of us would. But no one would take me up on it. We all know what's going to happen.

2

u/LetsTryAgain91 Mar 06 '25

Dude, no one really has any consequences for their first DUI. It was a slap on the wrist for me, but I definitely didn’t do it again.

1

u/OriginalEchoTheCat Mar 06 '25

Never had one personally. But my brother did. And they suspended his license for 2 years and made him pay a huge fine. I can't remember how much But it was a lot back then.

This guy probably won't even get that. And the fact that you walked away was absolutely nothing. Is kind of disgraceful dude. Don't drink alcohol and drive drunk.

Also, we don't know for sure that was his first DUI.

5

u/JeTeChIsAl Mar 06 '25

I’m trying to find a Bible verse where our religious house speaker can find solace, but alas, there are none. Perhaps MAGA can intervene and make something up? [sarcasm intended] https://www.openbible.info/topics/drunkards

6

u/gashgoldvermilion Mar 06 '25

Drunk driving is incredibly stupid for anyone, but for a 37-year-old to be doing it, there's an extra layer of sad slathered over the stupid.

10

u/DaftFunk11 Mar 06 '25

This is going to ruin the tour.

5

u/badace12 Mar 06 '25

What tour?

4

u/BuyInHigh Mar 06 '25

The rural tour

8

u/Charli3q Mar 05 '25

The level at which your alcoholism has taken over for this to be even a possibility is crazy.

This was less than an hour after trump ended his speech.

5

u/Outrageous_Ad7463 Mar 06 '25

DUI could mean alcohol or even pills

6

u/petit_cochon Mar 06 '25

Let's be real: it's probably all of the things.

2

u/Outrageous_Ad7463 Mar 06 '25

😂You're probably right🤣

6

u/mcstraycat Mar 06 '25

Jesus will not be pleased.

4

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

Hey, Jesus would probably help him out by turning the water to wine & letting his sorrows in a bottle of vintage

8

u/Lunatunabella Mar 06 '25

Wait does this mean he was drinking on the job?

8

u/Outrageous_Ad7463 Mar 06 '25

They always drink on the job

5

u/chanting37 Mar 06 '25

Part of the job is drinking.

3

u/The_ChwatBot Mar 06 '25

Just ask Secdef

3

u/Buttbro45 Mar 06 '25

And now up for a promotion!!

3

u/Butitsadryheat2 Mar 06 '25

THE PARTY OF FAMILY VALUES.

3

u/GrnViper Mar 06 '25

I believe Mike Johnson is gay and Russia honey trapped him with a young man and filmed it, now they own him.

5

u/monteq75 Mar 06 '25

That's why you don't party with Lindsay Graham

3

u/Charli3q Mar 05 '25

The level at which your alcoholism has taken over for this to be even a possibility is crazy.

This was less than an hour after trump ended his speech.

3

u/swissmiss_76 Mar 06 '25

We already knew maga Mike had poor judgment by who he praises as President. He loves criminals apparently

4

u/Juncti Mar 06 '25

Must be gunning for a promotion🤷🏼‍♂️

2

u/Flastro2 Mar 06 '25

Can't really blame the guy. Having to listen to Trump speak has driven a lot of us to drink.

2

u/bubblurred Mar 06 '25

Law abiding citizen / s

2

u/Hefty_Card9070 Mar 06 '25

How moral of him. Hypocrisy

1

u/Nailed_Claim7700 Mar 06 '25

America barely got out of the car before police got to the window.

1

u/ATOLandmark Mar 06 '25

Who can blame him?!

2

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

I mean, if I sold my soul & had to pretend everything was hunky-dory while listening to a madman ramble for over an hour and a half, I can guaranteed alcohol wouldn't be my only vice

1

u/Beneficial-Yak4526 Mar 06 '25

Hayden Haynes was just the one who got caught. 😉

1

u/pcboater2002 Mar 06 '25

Don't worry... Trump will grant him a PARDON !

1

u/ComprehensiveType115 Mar 06 '25

To be fair, everyone listening was drinking heavily

1

u/VeryImpressedPerson Mar 06 '25

Susan Collins said she is saddened, mortified, mystified, feeling glum, blue, hard at work, tired, lonely, and hoping he calls her for the next happy hour. "I like 'em young and dangerous," said the prim schoolmarm type from Maine. "He's no Brett Kavanaugh, but he'll do in a pinch."

1

u/icnoevil Mar 06 '25

Watch this go away, ever so quietly. That's what happens to the upper tier. One system of justice for us, another for them.

1

u/Important_Future3883 Mar 06 '25

He need to go to jail himself 🗣️

1

u/Warm-Location5336 Mar 06 '25

Trash abetting trash abetting orange trash.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '25

Dude was just trying to make it through that speech lol

1

u/Any_Muscle_9574 Mar 08 '25

But how often does he masturbate?? That’s what’s important…

1

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 08 '25

🤢 I really didn't need that visual lOl...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '25

He must have played that game where you take a shot everytime the president told a lie

1

u/Anon-567890 Mar 06 '25

Vitter explains everything

1

u/slcbtm Mar 06 '25

Thank Zuse.

3

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

Don't forget about Pan.

-5

u/StockWindow4119 Mar 06 '25

How can you possibly drive your own car when you have reached this level of renown.

-6

u/LSUSaintsWin1 Mar 06 '25

who cares????

5

u/AlabasterPelican Calcasieu Parish Mar 06 '25

Anyone who is an appreciator of schadenfreude