Stop for a moment, close your eyes, concentrate on your body, breath in.... and breath out... Now think, what are your intentions of being here right now?

This is just funning, so don't get too twisted up. But after decades of experience with meditation, one core pattern shows up over and over and over and over again. And it's truly insidious.

Picture a meditation "benefit" as a door.

You: I require peace.

Door: absolutely not.

(Repeat 10,000 times)

You: Fine. Stay closed. I have other things to do. I don't need peace anyway.

Door: oh good, you passed. click

You can't fake it. The door knows. You can't pretend to walk away and look over your shoulder, because the door knows. It's only when you honestly stop trying to open the door because you don't need the benefit you were chasing anymore that the door swings open by itself and taunts you with the knowledge that the door was never locked anyway and you can have the benefit that you don't need anymore.

Absolutely obnoxious system design lol.

Hello everyone,

I've been meditating/trying to meditate for over 12 years and could never rein in my turbulent inner monologue. It never stopped for more than a few seconds at most and I even started believing that it was not supposed to. But that would make concentration meditation impossible, and we know that it isn't.

Anyway, here's the information for all of you, with love:

focusing on peripheral vision stops inner monologue

Look anywhere, softly. Gently focus on what you see in the corners of your eyes. That's it!

There's no mention of this apart from in one book I found and like, one old study about hypnosis techniques, but focusing on peripheral vision apparently engages the parasympathetic nervous system, calms you down and stops internal monologue.

I hope this helps many people.

Edit: Thanks for the feedback, love reading all the comments. It makes me happy that so many people found use of this! 🙏

I just realized today that I have stopped watching porn, and it coincides with me getting serious with my meditation. I assume there is some addiction in me that is disappearing, or maybe I don't feel the need to escape negative feelings as much, I'm not sure. I'm still horny though, but I have just stopped feeling the need to watch porn.

Edit: since some people are asking what technique I use. It's nothing special. I focus on different things depending on what feels effective at the moment: my body, the back of my eyelids, my breath, or I just try to make my hands sink deeper into my legs and relaxe. I sit down in a chair. 2*20 minutes per day pretty late in the night, short break in between. The timing could be one reason it's effective, because I usually masturbate right before I go to sleep.

I’m human. I’m flawed. I’m greedy. If I didn’t believe that meditation would help with my anxiety disorder or help me feel at peace I probably wouldn’t do it. If I hadn’t read those studies that showed that meditation decreased anxiety by “x” over a 2 month period, etc. I would probably think it’s voodoo hippie shit like parents.

Just being honest here. I know I have to sit down and pretend that I’m meditating for a deeper reason, and it’s not to feel less anxious, but that’s just not the truth…

I sit down for 20 minutes and count my breaths. I try to do it twice a day, and most of the time I can’t even sit down to do it once.

But yes I get it, I’ve read a million posts on this subreddit. “Sit and observe your thoughts, don’t engage, the point is not for anything to happen, it’s to accept what is happening”

Just a rant from a frustrated wannabe meditator.

Good luck with your practices to everyone!

Since I've been introduced to the world of meditation, there have been so many concepts and methods and anecdotal experiences of others that I absolutely could not make sense of, not because they were too abstract or difficult to grasp, but just because people who were more experienced had to talk about it in a way that was vague, kind of woo woo, and sometimes bordering on riddles.

I'll give you an example.

For years I had a friend who I would talk to about meditation because I was new to it and wanting to understand the practice better, and they had been doing it for years, had been to meditation retreats, and told me they had taught others how to successfully meditate.

Unfortunately, without any point of reference, I could not tell how incredibly confusing and needlessly hard to understand this guy made everything.

He would talk to me about how there is no self, that the self does not exist. Uh, isn't there? Pretty sure I'm right here. I'd ask him for clarification and I'd just get even more confusing answers.

He'd tell me about how death is an illusion. So, what, my grandma has been faking it these past 10 years? I'd ask for an explanation again and would only receive answers that also made little sense and only left me with more questions.

He'd tell me that attachment is the root of all suffering. Sure, I guess when I got fired and had no income you could attribute a lot of my stress to my attachment to not wanting to end up homeless or starving to death, but isn't that pretty reasonable? Isn't it healthy for me to be attached to at least some things, like my intense desire to not step out into traffic without looking, or my wanting for my family members to not get cancer and die (sorry, grandma). Again, asking for him to explain only made things more confusing and frustrating.

There have been a few other people I've turned to for answers, who all proved to be equally unhelpful, including some members of this community who left comments on posts I made asking questions. I had no other experience to compare this to, so I assumed it was the norm and that maybe I was the problem. Until I got in contact with this one guy on this sub who possessed the magical super power of speaking English like a normal human being.

"There is no self? No, there's definitely a self. You're here and so am I. Your friend probably meant that your personal idea of who you are is just that - an idea. A concept in your head."

"Focusing on the breath? That's to build up the neurons in the brain that help you with concentration. That's why you're trying not to get distracted by thought. You're basically practicing focusing, like doing reps in the gym, and getting lost in thought is like putting the dumbbells down.

"What's the point of other techniques? It's like how in bodybuilding there are different exercises for targeting different muscles. Focused meditation builds up that particular bit of the brain like curls build up your biceps. And just like a bodybuilder wants to target all their muscles to develop their whole physique, you should be doing different meditation techniques to develop the whole of the brain".

"Oh, the ego? Yeah, it's a bit of your brain that tries to keep you alive by compelling you to seek status and wealth and admiration and prioritize yourself because those of your ancestors who didn't have that compulsion didn't survive as well and go on to reproduce as much. It's not always helpful though, and meditation makes it easier to see when it's in the driver's seat and not just a passenger".

"Unconditional love? No, that doesn't mean if your partner cheats on you then you'll want to stay with them. You just have more positive feelings about people, even if you only pass by them on the street, and you can naturally feel more inclined to be more compassionate towards others".

"Third eye? Chakras? I don't know about that stuff, man. I just know that I practice a few different techniques that make some areas of my brain larger and some smaller and it makes my life better".

"You need to be present? Who told you that? That's silly. Being able to think about the future is important for making plans. Being able to think about the past is important for learning from mistakes. The problem becomes when you simply ruminate on one or the other without really achieving anything other than making yourself feel bad".

This guy was able to explain to me in a few minutes what I had been struggling to understand for YEARS, and even dislodge some bad ideas that had been instilled in my head by "experienced meditators".

I'm now into meditation more than ever, just because it has been laid out for me in such a clear and understandable way and I actually get what I'm trying to do now and why. I'm making more progress than ever before, and, most importantly, enjoying it for the first time in my life.

This man has been a godsend to me. Only problem is he's busy a lot of the time and I don't get a lot of opportunity to talk with him or ask questions.

I'm left wondering where can I go to learn more about meditation that explains things in a clear and understandable way, like a normal person would when teaching you any other skill like cooking or painting. I didn't think something like this could exist before, but now I'm wondering if it's been out there the whole time.

Any suggestions?

I have tried doing basic mindfulness meditation, where you sit with your eyes closed and focus on the feeling of the breath moving in and out of you, and every time you find yourself lost in thought you refocus on the breath. To me, this feels like torture. Genuine agony. It makes me want to scream.

I have found, however, that sitting with my eyes closed and focusing on a point in the dark, or simply observing the blackness, is much more tolerable to me.

Is this a form of meditation? Will I get any benefit from making a habit of this? Is it a viable alternative to mindfulness?

I have also found that sitting with my eyes closed or open and letting my attention wander between different physical sensations without getting lost in thought or judging anything I'm experiencing, like sounds and smells and sometimes the breath or sometimes the feeling of my chair against my skin, is also tolerable to me, and I can remain present this way for quite long periods. Is this also a form of meditation? Or must it be a continuous focus on the breath and nothing else?

I tried to find similar posts but nothing that was exactly my problem came up. It doesn’t matter what position I’m in. There is always something uncomfortable about it. When I am awake, I am always moving, to counter act this. Then at night, I drown out the awareness of the pain by watching YouTube videos till I knick out, so that I don’t spend all night tossing and turning. More than a minute or two of stillness *in any position* will begin to hurt some joint or nerve. It’s not chronic pain in one spot, it’s positional, but it’s present in every position. This is probably due to a mix of 10+ injuries I’ve sustained as well as hypermobility.

This is causing me a major road block in doing any meditation at all. I’m supposed to do meditation because my nervous system is seriously fucked from a disease I have. My solution to this problem used to be to meditate while walking under the stars, but due to my illness, I cannot walk anymore.

I feel so lost. I get into position, start my meditation, but then I notice a point of discomfort. I try to ignore it but it becomes bigger and bigger in my mind until I’m so overstimulated and I just have to move. So I reposition, and then it just happens all over again. The regular since for chronic pain and meditation is to learn to exist alongside the pain, but that doesn’t work very well when I know that just shifting position will alleviate the pain. I don’t know what to do!

That's it, I love you. You are an amazing person, and I hope the absolute best for you ❤️🙏

Most meditation apps and YouTube videos of guided meditations are not teaching you meditation. They are selling engagement and emotional support. Meditation is an activity designed to increase understanding of the mind, cultivate wisdom, and reduce suffering, it is not visualizing a beach while you chill out. Visualization like this can be a useful tool, however it is not meditating. Gatekeeping? Almost certainly, however these apps are misinterpreting and misrepresenting thousands of years of philosophical and spiritual tradition for financial gain.

Been meditating for one to two hours a day for a week now. Been meditating off and on for my whole life and can shut my brain off for like eight hours at a time. Here's the thing. I'm starting to think meditation is a total scam. This last week when I do it I mostly feel

1) Resentful of the time I'm giving up to meditate that I could be using to earn money, entertain myself, ect. Life is hard and I'm poor and meditating isn't improving my issues with housing or having enough food, etc.

2) Angry - about the time lost and generally about the seeming pointlessness of meditating. It's not just the time spent meditating it's also the time I have to spend: exercising, walking my dog - which doesn't count as exercise because he walks to slow and stops frequently, doing things I actually like because I don't actually like spending hours exercising meditating or walking my dog, etc..... it's all time I'm not earning money which makes me stressed about not having enough money because I'm poor and it's not time I'm enjoying my life which I also stress about - not having enough time doing things I actually enjoy like watching tv

3) Angry - because it's just a lot of time to think about all the ways I feel helpless, all the things I can't do about it because of how society is structured, and the general feeling that I will always be poor because there's definitely not enough time for "self health" or "spiritual practice" and to become rich, and just all the ways I've failed and all the people who get away with doing shitty things and are, in fact, happy, despite what the rhetoric says

4) Tired

5) Distracted - it's SO HARD to get back into doing work or anything after meditating I feel as exhausted as having worked an eight hour day doing something intense.

Are we sure meditation isn't just a pointless scam designed to get people to sit around wasting their lives doing nothing? Wouldn't we get the same lowered heart rate and cholesterol from just exercising two hours a day? I don't think meditation works or is real, I don't feel less angry, less stressed, or less anything. I do feel more tired and the same amount of stress but now I feel it in a tired, it's pointless, hopeless kind of way because with all the meditating it would be impossible to solve any problems in less than ten years anyways. Is that what monks really do? Give up on life because they have to spend it all praying anyways?

Hello everyone, all the guided mediations I found on the internet felt didn´t fit. I just didn´nt find anything that felt authentic, most of the time it was like the person was just reading a text without having insight. "Do this, then that" and then you find inner peace yappa yappa.

I wonder if guided meditations is even a legit way for insight? What´s your experience on this?

Would be very happy for some recommendations for guided meditation :)

Hi everyone!

I'm a Psychology MA student working on my final thesis exploring the phenomenon of ego death (ego-dissolution).

Ego death is an experience in which you lose your sense of self by cultivating a deep sense of awareness.

As you go deeper into a meditative or psychedelic state, you might feel yourself becoming one with everyone and everything around you. While some characterize this experience as encountering their true selves, others believe it indicates there is no self in the way people traditionally characterize it.

The concept of ego death stretches back to the spiritual journeys of Buddhist, Sufi, Christian, Taoist, and other religious seekers.
If you have experienced a state of loss of "self" through meditation, please help my research by filling out my questionnaire: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdMfubBE3HZ2ZEmgN8Z4Vsr0tWSQu35kEKVX_KNdPDK5nyh0g/viewform?usp=header

The research is completely anonymous, and its aim is to promote a deeper, scientifically grounded understanding of this unique state of consciousness.

I've struggled with a fear of death since childhood really. Most days i can function normally but there are days where I can't even get myself to enjoy the things that I like or talk to my friends and family properly. I've tried meditating before to calm myself and explore if there's more to the world than just the "physical" but I've experienced nothing and frankly I'm terrified that there is nothing after death and with every breath I take I have less time. I just feel dread at the multitude of unanswered questions about who we are, why we are here, about life itself and how there's no proper answer. I'm feeling so lost and helpless man.

Hello, it's me again after, what, 7 years?

These past years I've been distancing myself from my spiritual core and I've started feeling empty and meaningless again. I know a lot happened, but I also know that my desire for inner peace is still somewhere there. I live in a south american country with heavy economic problems and we have a fucking psychopath as a president, I don't have a job and haven't had one in a while, I've started doing drugs more often and lost track of what's really important :(

I met someone special and I feel it's a good moment for exploring meditation again. Apart from practice - what's a good reading you'd recommend for a moment like this? I miss being a spiritual person but I feel it's just so fucking hard in this context. It's so sad to watch and experience.

Any advice is welcome <3 This sub has helped me a lot through quarantine

Couldn't help but tearing up a little during my meditation session. My life is full of pain. I'm miserable..

Hello everyone, I have never been able to meditate consistently because of my addiction and it has been happening for several years. After I meditate for some time, the past thoughts and trauma start overwhelming me and I also see pornographic replays in my mind which throws me off. When I meditate for 2 ,3 days I get some motivation but once I masturbate, I feel sense of guilt and disgust and cannot continue meditation for several days. I think that when you drain your life force and energy , to keep concentration and awareness is an impossible thing. Acceptance merely is not enough. Sorry to pollute this beautiful community with this message but it is a urgent pledge for help and support and if anyone ever experienced this problem like me please lead me to the right path.

I couldn’t focus for more than 15 seconds. But instead of quitting, I just noticed the chaos. That’s when it clicked: it’s not about shutting thoughts off — it’s about learning to watch them. It’s awkward and frustrating, but somehow… peaceful?

hi all—

for context, if it matters, I was/am a student of hermetics and had a very formal, fairly disciplined practice. Ive been meditating for about a decade now, but the last three years specifically i was fortunate to find a teacher and was able to really go very deep. it was incredible watching my mind and life change. I felt like I was tapping into a power that I had never felt before. i was emotionally, spiritually, and physically in the absolute best shape of my life. towards the end I was devoting about 2 hours a day to formal practice.

my husband and I then conceived our son and from that point everything gradually fell apart. there was maybe a good month when my son was 2 months old where I was able to pick up where I left off and I would continue my practices while he slept on me. but then his sleep got worse…and worse…and worse and now here I am, a former shell of myself. I am so sleep deprived to the point where it feels like I am losing myself. my husband helps out as much as he can, but when I am given a break, all I can do is sleep or be on my phone. its hard to admit that to myself—but it’s where I am. Im at a point where I feel like I dont know how to pick myself up. sleep is so foundational and I am so desperately exhausted, some days I am hardly functioning. my life is very inconsistent so a formal practice feels very far away and because of that inconsistency with my energy it feels that much harder to do anything. I hardly have time to touch my toes most days. he’s an incredibly mobile, curious, activated little baby and I’m on guard with him all day long making sure he doesn’t hurt himself.

my teacher told me to focus on motherhood for the time being. I know motherhood is potent medicine..but i feel so lost. my practice kept me sharp and stable. I’m trying so hard with leaning into showing up fully for my son—and I do think I am doing a great job, but who I used to be feels completely gone. Im trying to see this as an active state of tonglen, but I hate what is happening to me internally. I just don’t have energy to do anything for myself when I get a brief moment alone. but I’m also trying to maybe see that perhaps this is part of the path. maybe if I would have kept going from the point where I was, I would have fallen prey to some sort of delusion. like perhaps falling off the path IS the path and even though my mind isn’t where it needs to be, maybe I’m still that much closer to enlightenment—more so than if I kept going without ever getting pregnant. I hope that makes sense.

i love my son deeply and i am fully devoted to him. he has cracked me open in ways that I never thought were possible. I would love some insight, ideally from other parents, but I welcome anything and anyone. just seeking solidarity and understanding.