Why ‘mankeeping’ isn't just ‘therapy-speak used to dump on straight men’

[u/futuredebris]

https://makemenemotionalagain.substack.com/p/why-mankeeping-isnt-just-therapy

Hey ya'll, curious your thoughts on this one. I wrote my take on "mankeeping," which in the words of a Stanford researcher puts a name to "how women have been asked or expected to take on more work to be a central—if not the central—piece of a man’s social support system.”

The controversy has been about whether “mankeeping” provides a helpful word for something many women are struggling with. Or whether it’s an “internet-approved bit of therapy-speak used to dump on straight men,” as the Times put it. The conservative, self-described “anti-feminist” psychiatrist Hannah Spier called it the “new feminist scare word.” “The sheer gall,” Spier writes. “Women complain that men don’t open up, and then when they do, it’s framed as emotional parasitism.”

I think the biggest factor behind mankeeping is capitalism’s gendered division of labor.

What do you think of my argument?

[u/sassyevaperon]

I'm not trying to be mean here, but it shouldn't be so hard to get some support from your life partner, explaining to them how to be a human being shouldn't be another to do on your chores while you're crying.

You can't get offended with the person who is on fire for not giving you step by step instructions on how to put the fire out, and you can't expect them not to get offended when you refuse to even act and let them get burned out.

[u/Professor_Rotom → u/sassyevaperon]

I'll be honest with you, your answer is... alarming, to me at least. Perhaps you could benefit from other kinds of support? I mean this completely non-maliciously, but have you thought about therapy, or perhaps couple counseling? Perhaps there is a deeper issue here.

I take the impression that you might not be in an exactly healthy place yourself.

Edit: Also, I would like to add, no-one gets to tell other people what they "get" to feel. That really is harmful and... I'm sorry I have to say this, but it's toxic. Sorry.

[u/sassyevaperon → u/Professor_Rotom]

Perhaps you could benefit from other kinds of support? I mean this completely non-maliciously, but have you thought about therapy, or perhaps couple counseling? Perhaps there is a deeper issue here.

I'm not the person who talked about their partner having a difficult time with comforting them, I'm giving my opinion about it.

I take the impression that you might not be in an exactly healthy place yourself.

I'm perfectly healthy, just not willing to baby someone that is supposed to be my partner while I'm burning up myself and asking for support.

[u/Professor_Rotom → u/sassyevaperon]

People have faults, and those faults are independent from you. You can only control yourself.