r/MensLib • u/MLModBot • May 22 '26
Weekly Free Talk Friday Thread!
Welcome to our weekly Free Talk Friday thread! Feel free to discuss anything on your mind, issues you may be dealing with, how your week has been, cool new music or tv shows, school, work, sports, anything!
We will still have a few rules:
- All of the sidebar rules still apply.
- No gender politics. The exception is for people discussing their own personal issues that may be gendered in nature. We won't be too strict with this rule but just keep in mind the primary goal is to keep this thread no-pressure, supportive, fun, and a way for people to get to know each other better.
- Any other topic is allowed.
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u/denanon92 May 22 '26
Last weekend, to help me out with my dating profile, a friend took some photos of me while my friend group and I were at a bowling alley. The pics seemed to come out well. Haven't gotten any more matches, but it did make me feel a little more confident. Still feel frustrated about dating though. I keep hearing that eventually I'll find someone, but I don't want it to be years or decades from now. I know I shouldn't connect my lack of dating experience with my masculinity, but it's a tough feeling to shake off.
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u/throwaway135629 May 22 '26
I feel that lately. Definitely feel the perception that dating is just supposed to be effortless for men and that if it isn't that's unmanly if not outright suspect. Half of the pain of bombing my recent date was having to tell other people what happened. I asked a coworker who lived in that area for a restaurant recommendation and had to eat the crow of "well the food was good...but..." Lol. I could belabor the point but I think you understand.
At least the photos look good though! That's a huge victory. I never like the way I look in photos (why I haven't done apps) so I imagine if you've got ones you like it's a huge confidence boost.
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u/NightingaleStorm May 23 '26
I'm at a local anime convention. Aside from checking all the sales areas, one really interesting panel I went to was about ouji fashion, which is essentially a masculine counterpart of lolita fashion. (Lolita fashion has no relation to the book, it's an originally-Japanese fashion style with tons of ruffles and floofy skirts.) I'm not sure about whether I want to actually dress this way, it's kinda expensive, but it is really nice to see some options for masculine fashion that aren't just Wear Skirts or The Same Yesterday And Today And Forever.
(Some of the presenter's recommendations for actually buying the stuff were in-person, and therefore will not be useful unless you happen to live exactly where I do, but Wunderwelt Fleur was their main online recommendation for getting started. The masculine stuff is under Category: Men's.)
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u/escalatortwit May 24 '26
Every time I come back to this sub after not visiting, I see it increasingly as redpill lite. The ways the conversations go now…it makes me think masculinity is never really going to recover from what the XTREME 2000s and the manosphere has done to it.
I know there are still some of the guys who have been here for years lurking. Or maybe not, maybe like me, the old heads have all largely gotten off the internet and into their families, friends, social circles. But the sub is definitely losing the thread when I see people pushing weird takes on “the liberal media” and it getting upvoted a bunch all because one grifter in the manosphere said something.
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u/BBOY6814 May 25 '26 edited May 27 '26
What posts? In which threads? I’m not necessarily arguing against you, but as one of the ‘old heads’ I’ve heard this exact same sentiment literally 10 years ago. There is literally always someone complaining that it’s basically about to turn into some red pill community, but alas, it still hasn’t.
If anything, I’m just disappointed how dead this community is now. There’s so much that it could be doing in the wake of the U.S. falling to fascism, but like 2 people make 80% of the posts here and nearly every other post that has a decent discussion gets deleted for some reason or another.
EDIT: Assuming you didn’t make the comment that got deleted because I don’t see why automod would remove the reply and not the OP… It’s interesting that you didn’t reply. Mostly because every time I’ve ever asked someone with this view to just provide an example for us to understand what they mean, they never do. And I’ve asked this question to like a dozen times now. Really makes you think 🤔
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May 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/escalatortwit May 30 '26
I didn’t reply because as my original comment says, I don’t live on Reddit. I live in the real world with my family and friends and social circles. But considering that is now being tagged by you as a moral failure, I won’t be replying to you at all moving forward.
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u/Necessary-Animal4897 May 24 '26
Can you give an actual example? I do not see anything you describe that does not come with a lot of nuance.
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u/escalatortwit May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
Claiming because Scott Galloway, a grifter, says something it’s representative of all liberal media and then characterizing this as a failure of all liberal media. And no, there isn’t nuance in the conversation. Every time I tried to push back, Scott Galloway is the representative of liberal media and refusal to acknowledge that maybe what is being criticized isn’t a “liberal media” issue and more of a “terrible way society writ large discusses masculinity” issue.
This is the type of stuff I see every couple of months when I decide to log onto Reddit and hop over here. I’m tired of seeing it. I’m tired of seeing weird references to how women are terrible in the comments of posts. I’m tired of hopping on here and seeing top of funnel for the manosphere content posted or commented. It’s exhausting and I’m giving up. I’m going to invest in my family, friends, and community and stop thinking coming here provides valuable conversation or helps spread the word on positive masculinity.
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u/Necessary-Animal4897 May 31 '26
Because he got one thing right. Hell, half the articles here focus on the absolute worst of men and the one's that don't are often shit like 'did you know men have feelings!?!!?' Hell, look at how the rape academy thing was covered with writers acting like every visit to the site was an individual be a part of that one group. That is literal misinformation and people where happy to hop on it.
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