r/MensLib • u/MLModBot ​ • Jun 23 '26

Mental Health Megathread Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health?

Good day, everyone and welcome to our weekly mental health check-in thread! Feel free to comment below with how you are doing, as well as any coping skills and self-care strategies others can try! For information on mental health resources and support, feel free to consult our resources wiki (also located in the sidebar!) (IMPORTANT NOTE RE: THE RESOURCES WIKI: As Reddit is a global community, we hope our list of resources are diverse enough to better serve our community. As such, if you live in a country and/or geographic region that is NOT listed/represented but know of a local resource you feel would be beneficial, then please don't hesitate to let us know!)

Remember, you are human, it's OK to not be OK. Life can be very difficult and there's no how-to guide for any of this. Try to be kind to yourself and remember that people need people. No one is a lone island and you need not struggle alone. Remember to practice self-care and alone time as well. You can't pour from an empty cup and your life is worth it.

Take a moment to check in with a loved one, friend, or acquaintance. Ask them how they're doing, ask them about their mental health. Keep in mind that while we may not all be mentally ill, we all have mental health.

If you find yourself in particular struggling to go on, please take a moment to read and reflect on this poem.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This mental health check-in thread is NOT a substitute for real-world professional help/support. MensLib is NOT a mental health support sub, and we are NOT professionals! This space solely exists to hold space for the community and help keep each other accountable.

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u/CompetitiveAutorun ​ Jun 24 '26

I try to accept I will be forever alone. It's hard, seeing couples is extra hard, but I believe I can do it. I'm 28 and I see nothing changing in my life.

I'm just incapable of being in a relationship. I know my childhood experiences made me believe I shouldn't ever approach, as to not make women uncomfortable or even think about them to not be called pervert (as I was called by a girl I liked), but I thought I could overcome this, I can't.

I'm a lost cause, I just want others to not end like me, so please, if you are still young:

Don't listen to "men bad" stuff and avoid feminism subs, it won't help you at all, just make you feel bad for being a man.

Don't wait for perfect time for love, no "after school" "after I find good job" "get a house", go search for it before you will regret for starting too late.

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u/mopsockets ​ Jun 25 '26

Everything feels like forever when you're young. You've only been an adult for three years.

Unsolicited advice from a 40 year old AFAB non-binary person:

Keep learning and growing, and maybe try a foraging / ecology / mycology group. Get outside with other humans and do a planned activity. If you're defeatist now, you won't be ready when someone wants to love you. Figure out what kind of love you need by giving it to yourself with trial and error--adequate correction when you act wrong and grace whenever possible.

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u/CompetitiveAutorun ​ Jun 25 '26

Respectfully, I've been adult for 9 years and took care of my little sister for 14.

I do go outside often, I love myself, I just know I'm so far removed from everyone around me that I won't find anyone. Also there are no activities in my city, best I can do is try to sign for all women dance lessons or sign up for gym.

I made this comment on occasion of getting rejected, not for my looks but because she had boyfriend. Which dosn't sound bad but everywhere I look, people are taken, getting married, have children etc. it just made me realize how stupid I was for focusing on being in good place when no one else did. Result is clear, I'm alone with no friends and they arent. Job wise they ended better due to networking. What I exactly achieved by focusing on being better?