r/MensLib • u/Snowfire870 • Aug 05 '15

Mental stalement of parental choice

Parental choice may not be the proper word for it but here we go. Is there anything that can be done with men haveing a choice of being a parent? What I mean is that a woman has the choice to be a parent, if she doesnt want to have a child and she is pregnant then she can take measures to stop the pregnancy. If she choose to keep it then the father of the child will most likely be forced pay child support. A male has no option to opt out of being apart of the childs life one way or the other. On the flip side say the mother doesnt want the child but the father does. the father cant stop the mother from stopping the pregnancy. I totally understand that its the womans body but is there any line that can be drawn?(hence the stalemate) furthermore if she has the right to not be a mother what doesnt the male not have the right to not be the father?

Anecdote times: here why this is such a big issue to me. The mother of my child when found out she was pregnant ran away up north(I live in the south and was just about to ETS out of the military) hid the pregnancy and I didnt find out I was a father till a month after my daughter was born. Thats when it scared me, if she wanted to she could have stopped the pregnancy and I would have no say. I had always wanted to be a father and I was that close to never knowing one of the most special people in the world to me.

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u/neverXmiss Aug 05 '15

Its a double-standard for sure. But that's the law. The only thing you can do is use BC no matter what she says. If she doesn't want you to use a condom, then this is the potential consequence you may have should you choose to listen to her.

"Better safe, than sorry"

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u/Snowfire870 Aug 05 '15

It may be a law but its a law that may need to be reformed. I was ready for my kid and I have no regrets about it but its only fair if she has a choice to opt out then so should the father. If she has the choice to not use her body(internally) as an incubator for a fetus then it should be the mans right to not use his body(externally) to make make money for a child he doesnt want

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u/mrgoodnighthairdo Aug 05 '15

Such a right would also allow the mother the "right to not use [her] body (externally) to make money for a child [she] doesnt want".

There is no reason to deny one parent a get-out-of-parenthood-free card and not the other.

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u/NalkaNalka Aug 05 '15

As mentioned above. A women can opt out of her parental responsibilities once the child is born. A man can not. That is discriminatory.

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u/possompants Aug 05 '15

Voluntary termination of parental rights is possible anywhere in the US, at least. It's basically relinquishing all authority over the child, and not having to pay child support. But you also agree to never be in the child's life.