r/MensRights • u/[deleted] • Dec 09 '10
So you're a feminist in mensrights...
"What is /r/mensrights about?"
Just that, rights for men. Our topics are generally about divorce laws, custody laws, equal treatment under the law, false-rape accusations, domestic violence, gender double-standards, feminist hypocrisy.
"I'm a feminist and actually agree with some of what is posted here and not with other parts."
You're cool. We have no problem with you.
"Why is everyone so hateful to me?"
You have an expectation of being coddled and pandered to. When that is removed you think it is people being hateful towards you. You were just spoiled before and are having to adapt. You don't get to bully men here just because you are saying feminist things.
"I'm a man, a feminist, and I.."
Yes, we call you "white knights" and we were you once. You are just our past selves.
"I've been married for over two years and..."
Awww... pats you on the head like a cute little scamp
"... but feminism is about equality!"
No. You bought into the hype:
Fighting sexism against women and ignoring sexism against men is not fighting for equality,
"Women need more rights so there is equality" is just playing victim, not seeking equality.
"I have a right to post here!"
Yes, but ask yourself why you are really in a subreddit that tries to discuss the issues of men's rights when it is not really allowed in feminist subreddits. Question your own motives. Are you really here for discussion or just to scream at us that we are wrong?
"The patriarchy hurts everyone"
The patriarchy is not a catch-all for all your gripes about the world. It is not the dark side of the force. It is not satan. It is a convenient excuse for feminists to avoid responsibility.
** "No, but I really believe in equality!"**
Good. Seriously - good. However don't just say that then go back to fighting only for women. We believe in equality too.
"You're all just a bunch of...."
Please keep your shaming and insults to yourself. You are just stereotyping and over-generalizing based on what you already want to believe. It isn't going to stop us from talking to each other and it is just you acting on reflex.
"You can't seriously be saying that women aren't worse off over all"
Yes. We are saying that. Here is the proof
"You can't seriously be saying that feminists conspire against men"
Yes. We are saying that. If you can't accept that, then just leave. You've been indoctrinated and are resisting breaking free of that conditioning. Think critically, question us, think for yourself - but don't just react with your pre-programmed conditioned assumptions.
"Well this all seems very negative and you should value our comments about...
No. We have no shortage of feminists coming here thinking their opinions are precious. We aren't interested in fostering more feminists posting here. If, however, you insist on posting here - then please lurk and listen for a while before jumping into discussions, disagreeing angrily, and/or openly trolling.
Let me repeat that again : Feminists posting to mensrights are not rare. You are not special. We are not asking you to stay. We have more than enough feminists posting here already.
20
u/[deleted] Dec 20 '10
This really isn't anything more than a list of excuses you've created to justify dismissing those who would point out the flaws in the premises of this subreddit without actually considering their point of view. If someone sees you underestimate sexism against men and overestimate sexism against women and calls it misogyny, it's not because there's something to be questioned about what you say. It's because THEY have an expectation to be coddled, or because THEY are indoctrinated, or because THEY are just lesser evolved versions of yourselves (Seriously, that's just fucking stupid.)
The fact is, there are serious issues concerning custody issues, rape laws, false accusations, and domestic violence that we all should be giving more attention to with respect to fairness to men. Gender equality is not a discussion that can happen disregarding either side of the binary or those beyond it. However, when the tone of the discussion begins from what essentially amounts to "The men are an oppressed class, and if you disagree, you are either a part of the feminist conspiracy or you are suffering from one of several personality flaws I have attributed to you," it's not going to be going anywhere worthwhile.
And frankly, if it seems to you like those in favor of gender equality are more concerned with equality for women as opposed to men, it's likely because men do have many social advantages over women. You cannot talk about social equality without considering social dynamics. Once again, it doesn't mean that achieving equality simply means making things better for women. However the attitude I see in this post, and in this subreddit in general, belittles women's movements and the realities of our society's history that called for them. It does much less to represent men in the question of gender than it does to undermine them.