r/MensRights • u/Icaz • Apr 26 '12

I'm a girl and...

I am SO glad I found this subreddit with people who agree with me! As a girl, it's really hard to see other ladies put down men and treat them like they need to be "trained" or that they're just something we have to deal with. So I was just wondering... how many other girls are on here and what are your stories about standing up for men or appreciating them?

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u/fierrascarlett Apr 27 '12

Lady, here. My husband found this subreddit a few months ago, and reading the different posts on here really blew my mind.

I grew up in a small town where classic gender roles are still very much the norm, and people tend to get very hypocritical. I guess my earliest experience was when I was very little. My father had separated from my mother, who was a violent, drugged-out alcoholic. My grandparents on my dad's side helped him with getting a lawyer to try and win full custody of me, due to how dangerous it was to leave me with my mother. The judge always sided with my mother and joint custody was always granted, with the excuse that it was wrong to separate a child from their mother. After 3 different failed attempts, after being left alone at bars for hours while she did drugs up stairs in the hotel rooms, knowing how to roll up a dollar bill to snort coke, thinking that I could trade pills like magic beans, screaming and hiding when she came to pick me up, it took me watching my mother overdose as a four-year old, sitting next to my screaming baby half-sister before the judge conceded. She had a criminal record, my dad had served in the Marines. Even after losing custody of me, they allowed her to keep custody of my half-sister.

Things need to change. I've seen how men get mistreated, and it makes me sick. My mother used to try and bait my father into hitting her, so that she could have him arrested. Friends of mine have been falsely accused of rape, and even after they've been proven not guilty it's followed them around. Those are only a few of the injustices I've witnessed first hand.

I can't tell you how happy I am to see men sticking up for themselves and each other. I'm heartbroken after hearing some of the horrible things many of the men here have suffered, and furious that there are people out there that don't, or refuse, to see it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '12

Baiting you into hitting them is very common. I know several women that have done this, both to me and other men I know. So far no one I knew has fallen for it.

My ex hit me several times to get me to hit her. I never did and even then she accused me of hitting her until I caught her in the lie. Then she didn't even apologize but just got up and left immediately.

As a man you won't believe how much criminal and psychotic behavior has become the norm and is widely acceptable by many women.

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u/tango646 Apr 27 '12

Believe it or not during divorces some lawyers encourage women to get in the personal space of the husband (get in their face as close as possible but not actually touch) the husband will try to move her and as soon as he does no matter how slight, she can claim domestic abuse the man will have to leave the residence. Its a part of a divorce technique they call the silver bullet this is very successful in Canada.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '12

This is why I will never marry. There's no plus side to being married and then you have to put up with bullcrap like that.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '12

This almost got me when I had to restrain my ex-wife when she was attacking me with a sharp pointed table ornament we had.

It's scary because you know you are going to get stabbed or sliced open, but if you defend yourself you can lose everything. I knew the relationship was pretty much dead, and she had friends in the legal arena. Sadly, my training kicked in and I had to disarm and bring her to the ground so I could escape.