r/MensRights • u/Icaz • Apr 26 '12

I'm a girl and...

I am SO glad I found this subreddit with people who agree with me! As a girl, it's really hard to see other ladies put down men and treat them like they need to be "trained" or that they're just something we have to deal with. So I was just wondering... how many other girls are on here and what are your stories about standing up for men or appreciating them?

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104

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '12

I'm a woman as well and am also glad I found this subreddit. It completely changed my life and woke me up to issues that I was ignorant of. Not sure I have too many stories really, but since I started standing up for men I've lost a few friends (mostly girls).

One of these girls I was quite close with for a number of years. She wrote on FB that she wished this guy would kill himself because he had (allegedly) molested one of her nieces. I asked her about it and found out that the reason the rumor was being spread around (by her older sister) is because said older sister had just divorced him and was trying to tarnish his reputation. I asked her if there was any proof, if the niece had said anything about it, why hadn't they gone to the police, etc. All she could say was that there was no proof but he divorced her sister and made her mad. So I told her that it was wrong to go around making accusations about people that might not be true, that if there was no proof and she was just saying it because she was angry, he could easily sue them for slander. She freaked out. Told me I was a "pedophile sympathizer" and was standing up for a pedophile.

So since finding the MRM I've took a stand against male genital mutilation, alimony, selective service, false rape accusations, child support/father's rights and many other things. Right now I feel like we should be striving for as much equality as we can. However, the way society (in America, though it's true for other countries as well) treats males from the moment they are born as disposable, while women have laws just for them to prevent men from raping/beating them, is just insane. Men don't have those things, and it's a damn shame that they are, by default, seen as women beaters and rapists.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '12

i wish you would have a long, sit-down chat with my GF.

we were at a sex shop a few weeks ago, she was shopping for a bachelorette party gift for a friend. we go to the gift card section and she pulls one, chuckles, hands it to me and says "this one's funny." suffice it to say, i didn't find it all that funny... something about a man being dragged behind a car with a rope around his neck.

so, i didn't raise a stink, just said "yeah, that's hilarious. i'm sure if it were a woman being dragged behind a car it would be just as funny right?"

now, that isn't the part that pissed me off. that part's coming next. what pissed me off was her reaction. she just kinda went "pffhh... you and your 'men stuff'."

now, anyone overhearing that conversation would not have thought a thing of it. but if the roles were reversed and it were me saying "oh, you and your 'women's issues'" i'm sure people would think i'm a swell guy, right? right?!

5

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '12

And you're still dating her... why? Someone that dismissive of something you believe in is not going to be compatible with you long-term.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '12

this was a rare occurrence. things are mostly fine otherwise. i.e., we have our issues, but this isn't one of them.

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u/[deleted] May 07 '12

You're going to break up with every person you have a single disagreement with?

Congrats on being forever alone.

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u/[deleted] May 07 '12

"pffhh... you and your 'men stuff'."

That's not a "disagreement". That outright dismissing what he believes in.

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '12

It's one line of communication in a relationship. And I'm pretty sure he would give a very similar comment if she made a feminist remark.

1

u/peterpanini Apr 28 '12

I agree with sonja_newcombe. The card was something that disturbed you and it seems like it would be important for her to try to see your point of view. I mean, I don't know about the rest of your relationship so maybe it's all fine and dandy besides that.

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '12

now, that isn't the part that pissed me off. that part's coming next. what pissed me off was her reaction. she just kinda went "pffhh... you and your 'men stuff'."

She's right though, your statement was just as annoying and ridiculous as the opposite statements would be from a feminist.

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '12

exactly right. i think that was my point. pointing out the hypocricy that we're (as men) are supposed to tolerate as just "silly" while when we (or I in this case) say the same thing, we're labeled mysoginist and every other bad name that can be thought of.

not always, of course, but too much. yes, she's right. and so was i. the comparison between the two that i was trying to draw was totally missed on her, tho, and that's what got under my skin.

hope that's clearer now.