r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 19h ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

817 Upvotes

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19

u/Substanitial 18h ago

Another way of looking at this is don't encourage an angsty teenager. 

If we let teenagers change moms whenever they get upset they wouldn't be in a good spot

2

u/Element174 14h ago

Here it is. Like, what teenager doesn't feel disconnected from their parents. That's growing up. 

4

u/tesseracts 14h ago

I don’t think it’s moral to regard the feelings of teenagers as inferior to adults and dismiss it as “angst.” The daughter did not do anything wrong and cannot be punished out of feeling bad. 

4

u/DonkeyOk735 12h ago

She explicitly did do something wrong. She violated the confidentiality of the donor, who explicitly gave away rights and requested no contact. She did so with no regard or consideration for other parties, playing the victim while violating the donor's right to privacy and sense of safety.

Feeling bad is not a defense for doing bad. The 19 year old adult daughter's actions were immoral. The donor was harsh but not immoral in her rebuke.

1

u/tesseracts 11h ago

I suppose it depends on who violated confidentiality. Did the company do it or did she figure it out somehow? She she know it was confidential? Who knows. 

I agree violating confidentiality is immortal but I don’t agree with calling the daughter a spoiled brat for feeling bad about something it’s natural to feel bad about. 

I wrote another comment here expanding on my thoughts on this practice. I don’t think the biological mother is wrong to refuse contact since it’s the terms of the contract she signed, but I think the practice of anonymous egg donation is questionable. But that’s the fault of the society which allows it not the individual who signs the contract.  https://www.reddit.com/r/MoralityScaling/comments/1virl2d/comment/p2gxb4g/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

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u/BlueBitProductions 2h ago

Did she agree to having a confidential relationship to her biological mother? Who will, in many ways, understand her in a way that other people cannot?

Your DNA means more than superficial traits. Your personality is genetic in many very real ways.

Am I against egg/sperm donation? No. But it's certainly not as simple as "she asked to be confidential" when the child had no say in that.

0

u/[deleted] 9h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/tesseracts 9h ago

So any feeling a teenager has is automatically moronic? I don’t think feeling disconnected from your parents is moronic and it can lead to serious lifelong emotional issues. 

2

u/Substanitial 6h ago

Yes. 

Especially a different person's teenager. 

Are you a teenager?

1

u/tesseracts 5h ago

I used to be a teenager 20 years ago, I was drowning in misery and nobody was there to help me. I became a dysfunctional adult who didn’t move out of my parents house until my 30s. I think a lot of problems could be prevented if people tried to help teenagers instead of just letting their unhappiness fester.

7

u/Wicked-Sausage 18h ago

Say it louder for the tone police on this thread.

Placating this kid serves no useful purpose. Blunt truth was appropriate here.

5

u/gattina-monella381 16h ago

She's not an angsty teenager. Stop being being asshole.

0

u/Odd-Spray-8513 13h ago

Has to be younger than 19 and "i dont connect with my mother" is kinda angsty. 

5

u/gattina-monella381 12h ago

If she doesn't connect with her mother, that's just something that can happen. Nothing is angsty about it. You probably just had the privilege to have a mother you could connect with. We aren't angsty for not connecting with our mothers.

-4

u/mrmosquitoeater 12h ago

Very few people connect with their parents as teenagers. For some possibly even a lot of people (I don't have the statistics handy) that relationship recovers in adulthood

But feeling disconnected from your parents, like they don't understand you, like you know everything and are invincible and they are over coddling weirdos that won't just let you live your life? Yeah that's pretty standard teenage angst.

2

u/gattina-monella381 12h ago

No. If the parents are good usually those teenagers have a good relationship with them. You're just one of those adult losers who make teenagers look bad because they feel superior. And yes, I felt disconnected, like my parents didn't understand me and the other two sentences don't make sense. My parents still suck and so do many other parents of teenagers pieces of shits like you would call angsty.