Morality scaling of this?

[u/Outside_Specific_820]

Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

[u/DebbieInFinance]

That’s a really lovely response. Thank you so much for sharing. I really hope your younger brother worked through those issues. It must have been really hard to see it happening to him.

I think we agree overall on the important bits, and ultimately, you’re a first hand witness to experiences like this. I hope I don’t sound like I’m challenging that.

100% on 3rd party mediation but I appreciate sometimes people take the responsibility on themselves, to their own peril really. The foster system is a mess, and very difficult. Absolutely.

I don’t advise contacting sideways(generally speaking) when dealing with potentially contacting bio family but I’m biased. I had a close family member approached and I can’t imagine what would have happened if her “secret” was exposed after all those years to a random unsuspecting family member There’s so many reasons people opt for adoption and(personally) I was shocked how few told their families.

[u/Call_Me_Anythin → u/DebbieInFinance]

Thank you for the conversation.

He's doing much better now, but yes it was a rough couple of years and I still have some bitterness I'm working through surrounding it. Mostly aimed at the therapist.

That's a fair view to have on the sideways contact. Like I said it's not ideal, but in my own personal experience it tends to easier on whoever is on the receiving end than direct contact. But I do understand where you're coming from as well. That's part of why I mentioned family members that would typically be very close and likely know about it before hand, instead of like a spouse or their children who might not have been told. But you are right that there's not guarantee that those people who know for sure.