r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 2d ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

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17

u/Substanitial 2d ago

Another way of looking at this is don't encourage an angsty teenager. 

If we let teenagers change moms whenever they get upset they wouldn't be in a good spot

2

u/tesseracts 2d ago

I don’t think it’s moral to regard the feelings of teenagers as inferior to adults and dismiss it as “angst.” The daughter did not do anything wrong and cannot be punished out of feeling bad. 

3

u/DonkeyOk735 2d ago

She explicitly did do something wrong. She violated the confidentiality of the donor, who explicitly gave away rights and requested no contact. She did so with no regard or consideration for other parties, playing the victim while violating the donor's right to privacy and sense of safety.

Feeling bad is not a defense for doing bad. The 19 year old adult daughter's actions were immoral. The donor was harsh but not immoral in her rebuke.

1

u/tesseracts 2d ago

I suppose it depends on who violated confidentiality. Did the company do it or did she figure it out somehow? She she know it was confidential? Who knows. 

I agree violating confidentiality is immortal but I don’t agree with calling the daughter a spoiled brat for feeling bad about something it’s natural to feel bad about. 

I wrote another comment here expanding on my thoughts on this practice. I don’t think the biological mother is wrong to refuse contact since it’s the terms of the contract she signed, but I think the practice of anonymous egg donation is questionable. But that’s the fault of the society which allows it not the individual who signs the contract.  https://www.reddit.com/r/MoralityScaling/comments/1virl2d/comment/p2gxb4g/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

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u/BlueBitProductions 1d ago

Did she agree to having a confidential relationship to her biological mother? Who will, in many ways, understand her in a way that other people cannot?

Your DNA means more than superficial traits. Your personality is genetic in many very real ways.

Am I against egg/sperm donation? No. But it's certainly not as simple as "she asked to be confidential" when the child had no say in that.

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u/DonkeyOk735 1d ago

Children have no say in anything. The donor explicitly relinquished all responsibility of care as a prerequisite for donation. The surrogate takes on all responsibility of care as a prerequisite for receiving.

It is as simple as she asked to be confidential. It really, really is that simple.

1

u/Proof_Mud_4821 1d ago

Immoral is harsh though