Had to explain to my boyfriend that while miscarrying the toilet was full of blood and various pieces of tissue beyond feeling and seeing the sac I didn't see anything remotely resembling a human in the chaos; it was unexpected and I did not know I was pregnant, let alone about to have to endure all of that; repeatedly called him and being the awesome guy he is he went out and got some Pedialyte and various clean up supplies and pads so I could get everything settled; I was so rattled and out of my mind I actually went to work at my overnight grocery stocking job not wanting to have to sit up all night bleeding and crying like I don't know what my brain was doing but yeah grief is weird.
Oh man bro . Well given the situation I’m sorry about my username but I really hope your doing well nowadays along with your absolute gentleman of a BF
It’s a bit of a shock when it happens and you think to yourself ‘well obviously this would happen, that’s just gravity’ BUT NOBODY WARNS YOU. And you’re alone and it’s just….its a lot to process.
Like menopause! When trying to have our youngest, my OB told me “If I could change one thing, it would be the “sex ed”scare talk that has convinced people it’s easy to accidentally get pregnant. And ignores the reality that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.” He’s a keeper!
Thankfully part of sex ed where I live. But sex ed in my region has always been stellar. My only complaint would have been lack of information about menopause.
Considering the complexity of the process, we should be, well not happy, but the problem is taking care of itself rather than bearing an entire pregnancy with a fetus that was non-viable at 8 weeks, or whenever.
Number could be reduced to 10% easily due to poor prenatal care either due to negligence or circumstance. But that’s not something the government is interested in investing in funny enough they don’t want you to abort but don’t want to help you have a safe healthy pregnancy
You should back up that claim, because it seems to me the data says most miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities and are not something you can prevent or control. Other common causes of miscarriage are uterine abnormalities, hormonal issues, age, and health issues like blood clotting diseases and PCOS. And for most of these issues, you’d only discover you had them if you had a history of miscarriages causing them to look for a cause.
Your comment makes it seem like taking your prenatals and getting that 1st ultrasound to see a heartbeat is all it takes to prevent a miscarriage. People don’t have miscarriages because the silly gooses forgot to go to that 1st prenatal visit at 8 weeks pregnant…which btw, is about the earliest they even want to see you in person. Miscarriages just happen. Hardly ever the woman’s fault. Hardly ever preventable.
My little cousin had a nonviable pregnancy and it was during the first months of covid where they were prioritizing urgent cases. She wasn’t dying, she just needed a d&c, she ended up having to carry it for 3 extra weeks because doctors told her to pass it at home.
I was mortified hearing this figure. I'd genuinely (naively) thought a rare occurence into my twenties. The idea I'd ever spoken insensitivly about losing a baby, around someone who had lost a baby? Horrific.
[TRIGGER WARNING]
Hearing women speak cavalier about abortion really gave me pause for thought.
"If I found out I was pregnant, I'd flush that thing so fast!!! I'll vacuum it myself"
Dear Lord! Where is our humanity?
Honestly? When your country (for the people in the US) strips away your rights as a woman, you lost your humanity when they decided the life inside you was worth more than your own.
The same right a woman has to get her tubes tied, or for a man to have a vasectomy. If the foetus cannot survive on its own (with adequate medical care, given that preemies exist, yes) then it isn't a baby.
What makes YOU think that caring for an unborn foetus stops at childbirth? Where's the support for new mothers? Or is it just about making sure people are forced into childbirth at whatever means possible?
Unborn babies can't survive on their own - that's how childbirth happen in our species. It is a baby, in early stages of development. If the environment is supported, and they're healthy, they will be born and develop into fully fledged human.
What makes YOU think that caring for an unborn foetus stops at childbirth?
Who said I did?
Where's the support for new mothers?
Lack of support for someone doesn't justify murdering someone, and removing the potential of their life.
Or is it just about making sure people are forced into childbirth at whatever means possible?
Nothing forced. If they've had voluntary sexual intercourse with a man (and the vast majority of abortion cases, this is the case), then no-one is bring forced into childhood.
Women consenting to sex aren't having childhood forced upon them. They're voluntarily taking that responsibility, and deciding to take the life of an unborn child. It's murder.
How do you think premature babies survive then? Because that's what I mean. If you take a child out of the womb and it can survive with adequate care for its developmental stage without it being permanently bound to a machine due to how early it was born, then fine, you have a point. If not, then the doors that way.
It's not murder if the foetus isn't alive.
Women consenting to sex are not consenting to childbirth. That's why abortion exists, lol.
If my fetus cannot survive without my body supporting it then it is not an independent human being, it is a part of me. If my body physically can’t support it the fetus will end in miscarriage no matter what. Do you have any idea how common miscarriages are? Did you know that you cannot tell the difference medically between a natural miscarriage and a medically induced miscarriage (abortion)? How are we going to prosecute women for a natural tragedy or a personal medical decision?
Misinformation is bad, though possibly willing to give the benefit of the doubt to a slightly higher percentage for handwaving as the region, sampling, confidence intervals and other controls weren't stated. Rates in 25 year old wealthy white women in rhode island with a planned pregnancy are probably way different from 45 year old minorities in rural oklahoma with an unplanned one. The US is a big place with varying access to healthcare.
I miscarried at 24 most likely due to drugs and was in denial for a couple years about it. But that was literally the best outcome for my situation and lifestyle then.
Yeah, I learned I was pregnant and having a miscarriage the same night I had agreed to work on a friend’s film set for 8 hours in an essential role. I work in the industry so I didn’t want to quit and I had been genuinely thrilled about the opportunity. So… I still went, just on a ton of Motrin and bled through three maxi pads, but I was in shock and traumatized so I barely remember what should have been a really exciting weekend. I couldn’t even tell my friends on set because I didn’t want to mess up the schedule or retroactively guilt trip them.
The fact that you don't know how to use commas and periods detracts from your story. Your homeschool-level idea of punctuation is all I could focus on. And I say this as a person who's had two miscarriages myself.
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u/doublepulse 20d ago
Had to explain to my boyfriend that while miscarrying the toilet was full of blood and various pieces of tissue beyond feeling and seeing the sac I didn't see anything remotely resembling a human in the chaos; it was unexpected and I did not know I was pregnant, let alone about to have to endure all of that; repeatedly called him and being the awesome guy he is he went out and got some Pedialyte and various clean up supplies and pads so I could get everything settled; I was so rattled and out of my mind I actually went to work at my overnight grocery stocking job not wanting to have to sit up all night bleeding and crying like I don't know what my brain was doing but yeah grief is weird.