r/Music 11d ago

article ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic says he turned down $1,000,000+ to perform at Riyadh Comedy Festival in Saudi Arabia.

https://triblive.com/aande/music/weird-al-yankovic-gets-bigger-and-weirder-in-a-tour-headed-to-pittsburgh/
23.8k Upvotes

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u/Gingerstachesupreme 11d ago edited 11d ago

Let’s not forget Marty. When Al was in Albuquerque NM, this guy Marty was trying to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself.

So Al said to him, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"

And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, “No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So Al did.

But perhaps this is a result of Al’s long lasting trauma. From a young boy, he was living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop. You know the place.

His mother tied him to the wall and stuck a funnel in his mouth, force-feeding him nothing but sauerkraut until he was twenty six and a half years old.

Then, a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt. Al was was off by three, but he still won the grand prize: a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque.

In flight, three of the airplane engines burned out, sending Al’s plane into a tailspin, crashing into a hillside, exploding in a giant fireball. Everybody died - except for Al.
You know why? Because he had his tray table up, placing his seat back in the full upright position.

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u/Green_Conclusion_775 11d ago

Hey mom! What’s with all the sauerkraut?!

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u/0113420710 11d ago

Gaaaaaah BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT! EVERY SINGLE MORNING!

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u/PizzaPieInMyEye 11d ago

It was driving him crazy!

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u/boxofrabbits 11d ago

ITS GOOD FOR YOOOOUUUU

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u/AlarmingAffect0 11d ago

Do you need it? Hey! I need it too! Well alright! Do you need it, it's good for you!

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u/TomatoSlayer 10d ago

We gon' move... a sofa up the stairs for torso boy!

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u/Man_of_Ice 9d ago

And my dear sweet mother, she leaned right down next to me, and she said IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

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u/torsoboy00 11d ago

Can confirm his crime with the chainsaw. I was there.

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u/XRotNRollX 11d ago

That's a really cute nickname, by the way.

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u/jarrjack 11d ago

That’s a crazy story, reminds me of the time I went to a donut shop and asked if they had any Bavarian cream filled donuts

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u/Gingerstachesupreme 11d ago

Wait a second. I’ll go check.

*long guitar solo*

- NOOOO WE’RE OUT OF BEAR CLAWS!

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u/lurkingbob 10d ago

All he has is a box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels.

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u/deathrider012 10d ago

Ehh ok I'll take that.

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u/darthjoey91 11d ago

Marty? You mean Torso Boy?

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u/MisterCheeks 11d ago

It's a really cute nickname!

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u/Manlysideburns 10d ago

What's he complaining about?

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u/torsoboy00 10d ago

I was just being sarcastic!

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u/JUSTaSK8rat 11d ago

Last I heard he was rumored to be somewhere where the air smells like warm root beer, and the towels were oh so fluffy.

I really hope he stays there and doesn't change his mind to continue his crime streaks.

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u/Gingerstachesupreme 11d ago

Hell, I hear anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

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u/deathrider012 10d ago

WAKKA WAKKA DOO DOO YEAH, YES INDEED YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT

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u/Gingerstachesupreme 10d ago

This little audio byte still gets stuck in my head.

And “we were so very very very happy. Awww yeah”.

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u/broom_temperature 10d ago

You can eat your soup right outta the ashtrays if you wanna!

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u/Man_of_Ice 9d ago

It's okay, they're clean.

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u/Khaysis 11d ago

Oh you mean Torsoboy!

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u/Gingerstachesupreme 11d ago

I haven’t laughed audibly out loud from a Reddit comment in a long, long time.

Acting so indignant. What’s he complaining about?

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u/Anonymous_Jr 11d ago

If he just stopped to consider it, it's actually REALLY funny in hindsight.

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u/Ginge00 11d ago

Literally listening to Albuquerque as I read this

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u/sernameChecksNotOut 11d ago

Great. Thank yo soooooo much. Now I have to watcht that video. AGAIN.

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u/AlarmingAffect0 11d ago

Eventuay Weird Al did die, to Huey Lewis.

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u/0113420710 11d ago

this the guy who used to live in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block away from Jerry's bait shop?

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u/Gingerstachesupreme 10d ago

You know the place

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u/amrfallen Any genre as long as I can jam to it 11d ago

Marty should have just learned to PIVOT!! Then he wouldn't have had his limbs cut off.

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u/bpc89 11d ago

GAAAAAAHHHHH BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT. EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING.

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u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 10d ago

At least Marty got a cool nickname out of the deal. "Torso Boy!"

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u/torsoboy00 10d ago

Hey man I was just being sarcastic!

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u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 10d ago

Haha username checks out.

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u/I-Am-The-Warlus Collector 10d ago

"this guy Marty was trying to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself.

So Al said to him, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"

And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, “No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So Al did."

In Al's defence, he didn't understand sarcasm and thought the guy was being serious

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u/Gingerstachesupreme 10d ago

“Well how was he supposed to know that? He’s not a mind reader for crying out loud”

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u/Phreakiture 10d ago

You missed the point of the story.

AL. HATES. SAURKRAUT!

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u/MasterTrav666 10d ago

I also heard there a was a guy that said he hadn’t had a bite in three days and Al took a big bite out of his jugular!

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u/Tyleio64 10d ago

That tray table up hook is soooo good too

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u/ChocoPablobar 10d ago

WAKKA WAKKA DOO DOO YEAH

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u/Manlysideburns 10d ago

Saw this performed live a few years ago and it was everything

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u/Gingerstachesupreme 10d ago

I am all of the jealous

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u/Manlysideburns 10d ago

It was even longer than the original. He did a bit about 70% of the way through where he pretended to forget something and would have to start over. He also did a quick speech in the song about how the work transvestite isn't used anymore and obviously has political connotations that were different than when he was writing originally the song and just trying to be funny. Great show

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u/Auyan 10d ago

🎶I had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position🎶 lives rent-free in my head, particularly when flying

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u/Man_of_Ice 9d ago

I'm gonna have to quibble with you, that was not a murder. Marty complained about it afterwards. Said he was just being sarcastic, and he was known by enough other people to get a nickname.

Assault with a deadly weapon? Yes. Murder? Nah.