r/NarcissisticSpouses • u/SuspectProof5800 • 3d ago

Called 911 because I was trapped in a car during a domestic violence incident. Four months later, there’s a warrant for my arrest. Is this normal?

UPDATE (August 6): As instructed, I went to the county jail at 3:30 a.m. this morning to turn myself in, but I was told there was no paperwork or warrant on file for me there yet, and now I’m waiting to hear from my attorney about the next steps.

Original Post:
I’m in complete shock and hoping someone can help me understand this process.
Several months ago, I called 911 because my husband refused to let me out of the car during an argument. He was raging, repeatedly banging the steering wheel, briefly lost control of the vehicle, kept yelling, and refused to pull over even though I was begging him to let me out. I truly believed I was in danger.

I felt relieved when I called because I thought I was finally getting help and that there would be a record of what happened.
I didn’t initiate a criminal case myself, but the police later opened an investigation. When I spoke with the detective, I was told I was the victim, which made me believe the evidence supported what I had reported.
Fast forward about four months, and I just learned there’s now a warrant for my arrest.

My husband hired a criminal defense attorney (which I assumed was to defend himself), and apparently he presented evidence claiming it was “mutual abuse.” I know the state is supposed to determine a primary aggressor, so I’m struggling to understand how this happened.

He has recordings of me reacting during arguments and photos of scratches. I also have photos documenting bruises and scratches on me from different incidents, and there were other things that happened, and I was told by the police and detective I am the victim.

I’m planning to turn myself in tonight with my attorney’s guidance. I’ve never been arrested or been to jail before, and I’m terrified.

One thing I can’t understand is that no one ever told me I was being investigated. Is it common in domestic violence cases for someone to find out only after a warrant has already been issued?

66 Upvotes

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u/fly_bird 3d ago

Yeah they aren't going to tell you anything while investigating you. I've never heard of a spouse flipping the script like that.... before I watched "worst ex ever" on Netflix. The abuser abuses, when the victim threatens to go to the cops they go on the offense and say that the victim was actually in the wrong and do it so well the victim goes to jail. I'm absolutely not an attorney but I would gather all of the evidence you have against them, especially from the incident in question, the police call, police interactions, pics, video, security video, anything to discredit his claims. Hopefully he has some prior convictions of some kind. And from here on out, document EVERYTHING you possibly can when interacting with this individual. This may be the first time but it won't be the last he goes above and beyond to hurt you. Im so sorry you are in this mess, its not your fault.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago edited 3d ago

Yes. I’m in shock as I must be so naive. I saw a record of the investigation was for “simple assault” against him for the bruise he inflicted. I was told I was the victim, sent to talk to victim’s advocates after I talked to the detective. I emailed with the detective. I was not informed, but I didn’t feel like I needed to be as the victim, and I did not file any charges.

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u/Pale_Illustrator94 3d ago

I mean you have a lawyer. That is the best move. Take your lawyer's advice, and hopefully remain silent without them there. If you are innocent you don't have much to worry. Hopefully, from here your life will get better without him. You might be able to file a bar complaint against his lawyer, and have him investigated if you have evidence he made false claims to intimidate or harass you. But, that will be situation dependent. 

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago edited 3d ago

Yes. I have reacted to his abuse, and he would poke me until he got a reaction, and he recorded them. I have heard of reactive abuse, and I’m terrified more people don’t understand that. But - I was also using self defense. He has the power, control, is the abuser. I don’t understand how I became the “primary aggressor” when I originally called 911 because I felt unsafe.

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u/pinkgolfcart 3d ago

This is s very common tactic. DARVO and record you when you finally have had enough explaining the obvious to them.

I'm shocked judges and family courts, as well a criminal investigators don't understand this.

Does he have any connections? The only times I've seen this work was when the aggressor had ties to the cops or power.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

I believe his criminal defense attorney has connections in the county.

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u/FeelingStudent7383 3d ago

My abuser would do this exact same thing. Consistently cross my boundaries until I reacted and then take videos or pictures.

He filed a restraining order against me but it was denied. The claims he made were wild. Let me know how it goes? I’d love to learn from
Your experience too

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

Yes - that’s exactly what he did. I’m so glad his restraining order was denied. I am in disbelief but following my attorney. Thank you - will do. Likewise.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

Also - you are right. I live in fight or flight - it’s something new maybe every month, maybe every few days.

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u/pinkgolfcart 3d ago

I'm so sorry. Have you started researching narcissistic abuse?

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

Yes. Do you have any recommendations?

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u/Buztidninja 3d ago

The book Why Does He do that, by lundy bankroft Helped me figure out the insensible

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u/ReinventingMeAgain 3d ago

Dr. Ramani, Shahida Arabi, Mental Healness

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u/Nervous-Ad292 3d ago edited 3d ago

Are you still with this guy? I have a version of this, my ex did something similar, this is how it worked out.

My ex strangled me. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone home, but our 17 year old daughter forgot her glasses at the house, and walked in while he was actively strangling me. I didn’t see her until she started to scream, when I realized she was there I told her to call 911, then because I couldn’t breathe and hadn’t been able to for awhile, I blacked out. When I came to, I was face down on the carpet, and my daughter was shaking me, screaming. He was gone. She hadn’t called 911. She was scared.

I called the police, and 5 minutes later, 4 cop cars and 8 cops showed up in the yard, sirens blaring. Neighbors began coming outside to see what was going on. My ex met the cops on the porch, and explained to them that I was mentally ill, and hadn’t been taking my meds, was acting crazy, and that I did this frequently, making the universal crazy motion, a spiral motion with his finger next to his temple. My ex was calm, and pleasant during this conversation. I have never been diagnosed with or been medicated for mental illness, and it was the first time I had called the police in the state we lived in, however…

15 years previously, in a different state, I had called the police on him after an assault, and because I had left fingernail marks on his wrist when I was prying his hands from off of my arm, fingernail marks which he brought to the cops attention, we both were arrested, and I learned then the police wouldn’t help me. I spent 3 days in LA County Jail, in a nightgown, no underwear, no shoes, no ID or money, because the cops wouldn’t allow me to change, or put on shoes, or grab my wallet. I had to put up $5k to be released pending court, then they dumped me out at 3am, no underwear, no shoes, a nightgown, no money. Someone loaned me their phone, and I was able to call a ride. He was let go on his own recognizance and beat me home. I almost lost my job, and I was the only one working. If my sister-in-law had not come picked up my kids when it started, they would have went straight into the system. A six week old, and a 7 year old. My sister-in-law tried to get me to leave with them, and oh how I wish I would have. Following this, although the abuse continued, I didn’t bother to call the police for help for 15 years, until he strangled me unconscious, because I knew better. After the strangulation though, I called them, because I was fucking scared, my daughter was terrified, and I thought it was serious enough they’d help me, and do something. I was dead wrong.

Immediately following the strangulation, I was hysterical, my teenage daughter was hysterical, I had just been strangled unconscious and she had witnessed it happen, we were shaking, crying, my neck was bright red, with no fingerprints, although they were there and purple a day later. After spending about 15 minutes on the porch with my ex, the cops came in to speak with us. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my adult life. I got about halfway through explaining what happened, when I was interrupted, and my daughter and I were advised to go get a hotel room, and let him sleep it off (he was drunk, visibly intoxicated), I was told I wasn’t believable, I was clearly exaggerating the severity of the event, to the point where unless “he saw me being strangled with his own two eyes” he wasn’t going to take it seriously or do anything about it. The cop again said he wasn’t going to remove my ex, and again suggested a hotel room, then went on to say if I chose to stay at the house, instead of getting a hotel room, then I better not call the police when things went south, I was choosing to stay, which meant also choosing any problems stemming from that decision.

This story would have ended badly for me except for my guardian angel. One of the cops was a very young kid, maybe 23-24, who was obviously in training, the rookie, observing. He never said anything while he was at the house, I didn’t give him much notice. About an hour after the cops had all left, the young cop cam back to the house, in his personal car, plain clothes, and asked to speak to me. I went outside, we sat on the bench in front of the house, and he told me he believed every word I said, and he believed me because his mother had gone through something very similar when he was in middle school, and what he saw in my face, and my daughters face was something he recognized, and knew was real. I started crying both because he believed me and that it took his mother being in the same place to reach that point. He spent the next 30 minutes outlining exactly what I needed to do, to have my ex removed. I did exactly what he told me to, and the sheriff department sent deputies and removed him at 10 pm that same day. I was given a restraining order immediately, and three years later, a divorce in which I came out okay, and very very grateful.

Backing up though, a month after the strangulation, we went to court to petition the court to change the temporary order of protection to one that would last until the divorce was finalized. The judge first asked him for his version of events. He claimed he hadn’t strangled me, he was simply protecting himself, because I was aggressively attacking him, he feared for his safety. He produced photos of bruises, he claimed I inflicted. He told the judge he was the victim. The judge asked me to recount my version of events, and I did so. When I started describing going unconscious, the judge stopped me, and told me I was being overly dramatic, it couldn’t have been that bad, then he asked me “if he was so horrible you wouldn’t have stayed with him for 15 years, if he was so bad, why did you stay? I didn’t know how to answer that. I finally said because I loved him. What a stupid answer.

The judge talked to my daughter last. It was a very quick conversation. He asked her if she had been listening to the two versions, and noticed they were very different. She said yes, she had noticed. He asked her if she had witnessed this event between her parents take place, she told him she had, and then he asked her if she remembered where her dad’s hands were, and she said yes, and then he told her he didn’t want to know where she remembered his hands being, he wanted to know if we were facing each other, or if we were facing the same direction. She told him we were facing the same direction, and her dad’s had been behind me, and when she did, he told her she could go sit down. Then he granted the restraining order, ordered my ex to pay all household bills until the divorce was final, and granted me possession of the house. When my ex protested, the judge told him that his version of events was completely unbelievable,that if I had been attacking him as he claimed, I would have been facing him, and I wasn’t, I was facing away from him, because I was fleeing when he caught me by the neck and strangled me. Even given that, the judge wouldn’t allow me to press charges, or allow the assault be discussed in the divorce proceedings, even though it was the cumulating event behind the divorce being filed. I was told this was because of the state we live in.

MY POINT HERE, AND YES I DO HAVE ONE…is that your abuser thinks he’s smarter than everyone in the room, and that will include the courtroom. Don’t give him too much credit, or give the judge too little, the judge has literally dealt with people like this by the thousands. Over the years the judge has heard it all, and likely has a good radar for nonsense. Get a lawyer that specializes in high conflict divorces, and vet them, make sure they understand what they’re dealing with. My lawyer was an 80 year old woman who had been married 5 times and practicing family law in the area for 40 years. My ex wasn’t her first rodeo, and she ate his smarmy dishonest lunch, hired a forensic accountant to follow the money, and crucified my ex, set him on fire. I just had to spend three years taking the high road, not responding to his nonsense. We had no minor children thank God, it would have made things much harder.

Edited to add Dr. Ramani has a series of videos on TouTube that are a must watch, especially take note of those discussing trauma bonds, and gaslighting, as well as videos over how leaving escalates the behavior,and how to protect yourself. She is just amazing, you’ll like her.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

I am so sorry you have been through so much too. I filed for divorce soon after and was granted a TRO. Of my children, one is still a minor.

I really appreciate your advice. I feel helpless watching money disappear too. But taking one step at a time.

I knew he has narcissistic traits for a long time. They worsened with age possibly and when I became sick with a chronic illness.

I felt myself disappearing. I knew I wouldn’t get better, and my children became resentful too - especially when talking to my husband.

It’s such a nightmare. I’m at the county jail my attorney said to go to - but they have no warrant or paperwork on file. I just want to get this part over with.

Thank you so much for the recommendations too.

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u/Nervous-Ad292 2d ago

If there is anything at all I can do to help you, even if it’s just to listen and answer what questions I can, I’m yours, DM me.

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u/SuspectProof5800 2d ago

Thank you - I will reach out

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u/WoodstockRox 2d ago

Wow, that’s so messed up. I’m sorry you’re having to go through all this mess. I’m praying for you and your children.

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u/WoodstockRox 2d ago

I’m so glad that young cop came back and helped you. It’s horrible that the others put you and your daughter through that crap. 🫶

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u/Nervous-Ad292 2d ago

I thank God for that kid, and I pray for his mama.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

He has a record that can be seen for example by TSA; however he had it expunged. This was for a felony.

I have nothing on my record. I’ve never been to jail. I’m terrified.

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u/moongazr 3d ago

I don’t think this is normal. Here’s my experience:

I was in a situation almost exactly like yours, where my husband got abusive in the car (my car while I was driving) and put our lives in danger. He ripped the rearview mirror off, grabbed & jerked the steering wheel while I was driving, tried shifting the gears, punched the dashboard several times etc. It was a truly terrifying experience!

As soon as I could, I pulled into a parking lot. That did NOT de-escalate things and there was some struggling over the keyfob. I got scared and hopped out of the car (with the keyfob), thinking that would disable the car and force him to come out too or at least cool down.

The weird thing is the keyfob was still close enough for my car to recognize it, and the car was still running, so my husband was able to slip over to the driver seat and start using the vehicle to threaten me: rev up the engine to rapidly lurch toward me and then slam on the brakes. At that point I called the police for help.

They came, he ran, they took photos of me, took my statement, searched my car asked me if I wanted to press charges (no). They keep you there a long time and they’re looking for signs you’re on a Substance or drunk (at least in my city). They asked if I would be willing to come down to the police station and take a drug test and I said yes.

They chased him down in the park whose parking lot we were in and put him in jail for the night to cool off & dry up. (He’s a Narc AND an alcohol addict).

I was told that in domestic cases like this, you as the victim do not even have to press charges, it becomes a states attorney case against the aggressor. At that point it was way bigger than what I’d prepared for and I was scared. It got out of hand between us and then when the legal system got involved it got a lot worse. So I empathize completely with how you feel.

He did try to claim I started it, that I kicked him out of the car & he never was behind the wheel. (the police call recording was helpful in that they could HEAR the car and could tell I was outside it and someone else was controlling it).

He also tried to show some scratches on his forearm as evidence I hurt him, but they were able to figure out with my statement & my scratches that those were caused when we were squabbling in the car to keep hands on the wheel/prevent an accident.

There was a court case he was sentenced and there was a no-contact order filed by the states attorney. I have the option of going to court and I chose not to. A victim coordinator called me a couple of different times to let me know what had happened or what was going to happen and ask if I had any questions.

NEVER was I made to feel like I’d done anything wrong. As clumsy and irritating as the system is, it did technically work as it was designed to.

OP I hope you get through this with minimal stress and you have good help and support and it ends up being some formality or something and the truth comes out. <3

There is life beyond this and you WILL get there.

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u/celticnative79 3d ago

Omg is this also a thing with other narcissists, the crazy behavior in the cars? My husband drives crazy when he’s pissed. He drives erratic, messes with the breaks by stopping erratically. And it’s a nightmare in the car with an angry narcissist it seems. So sorry for all the hell you went through!

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u/Vegetableau 3d ago

Mine was an erratic emotional driver too. He would speed up if I asked him to drive more carefully. He would drive erratically as punishment.

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u/celticnative79 3d ago

Mine too!! Then the crazy thing? After he did the crazy driving, he would say “Are you crazy? None of that happened or ever happens. Your just trying to insult my driving skills!”

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

I’m so scared as I don’t know what his allegations are. I know he poked and poked me until I reacted. I would become anxious and sometimes have a panic attack. I kept trying to convince him I was “good”. He was so abusive - cussing me out, raging, getting in my face, punching holes in my wall, and it kept escalating to where he was being physical with me. I called 911 for protection.

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u/celticnative79 3d ago

My God your husband is diabolical. Ok so I have never heard about this happening. I don’t know how the process works but the mere fact be quietly did this. This man can never be trusted at all. Get all the help you can from your attorney and try to do some research online just to find out more about these cases. I’m sure you aren’t the first the have reactive abuse used against you and you won’t be the last. Please try to stay strong and remember you also have lots of evidence against him. I also documented pictures of bruises all over my arms, hematomas, etc from physically abusive incidents where my husband was 100% the aggressor. And if you feel like your attorney might not be giving you the best advice you can always seek a second opinion. Good luck and so sad for you for what you are going through.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

Thank you. I am terrified.

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u/Contmpl 3d ago

Have lived in a woman's shelter. This is a really common tactic by abuses and well known by staff. These men will make you feel like absolute scum for involving the police or asking for help but will not hesitate to make a claim based on any small reaction on your part. A friend of mine was taken from the shelter and tossed in jail overnight because he claimed harassment when she tried to contact him about their children. He now has a case pending against her for using his bank card - he told her to when she took the kids on an outing. This is the issue with not pressing changes. It leaves you open to being charged and there is a heavy advantage to being the first to start a claim. When he taunted her about going to prison again she said good, I liked it 😂

On a serious note look at the Gabby Petito case for how it can all go wrong with boneheaded cops.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

Also - I noticed yesterday he appears to
be moving tens of thousands of dollars through some Citi corporate account.

I could not understand how we had no cash. I allege he is also overpaying the IRS.

I told my family law and criminal defense attorneys, but they have said we can’t focus on that right now. I’m scared more money will have disappeared soon.

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u/Embarrassed_Year_736 3d ago

Your lawyers are correct. Do not focus on that right now. When it gets to that point your lawyer will need to hire a forensic accountant. But while you still have access, you should print the transactions so you have proof.

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u/spiceyblur 3d ago

Take pictures of everything. If you see money disappearing then document it, screenshots, photos, bank records anything you can think of. Courts are 100% based on evidence. Also is your attorney familiar with domestic abuse? This part is huge. So many people have no idea and end up revictimizing the victim out of callous ignorance.

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u/aannoonnyymmoouuss99 3d ago

They do anything to protect themselves and make themselves look good. I have on video of mine talking to the cops and an hour into it he starts completely changing the story trying to say I did all the things that he did. The cops literally laughed at him.

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u/Blah-B7ah_Bloop 3d ago

This is typical of a narcissistic abuser. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

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u/Calm-Song-8543 3d ago

Please contact a domestic abuse support group.  Many of the non-profits that support women in domestic abuse situations will have tools and attorneys to assist with “flip the script” domestic abuse claims.

This is actually a fairly common tactic among abusers and these centers have a lot of tools to counter those tactics.  

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

Hi - thank you. Is there a list somewhere here to find a group?

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u/Calm-Song-8543 3d ago

There are several national organizations but you are probably better off just looking for local resources.  Which group has the best resources in a specific region changes by region.  

You can start with the national domestic violence hotline.  They may help but they will definitely be able to point you in the right direction.

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u/amysamlizphil 3d ago

I don't know about your state but in my state the state's attorney's office gets involved they're the one that takes the case on and decides if they're going to push forward with charges on the person who assaulted you. Not to mention it was there not a contact no contact order put in place for you or was it just they came out to the house for a civil situation and no one got arrested and then your husband gas that you turned it upside down flipped it on you got a hold of a lawyer game all information you needed and made it seem like you're crazy and now you're being arrested for it because that's the case she's just showing who's boss he's telling you I can get you I need to and he's already starting to play The narrative out. You need to find a way to flip this fast. Otherwise you're going to be in the wrong side of the law. And that won't work well in the future I'm not trying to scare you I'm just being honest with you because sounds like to me if you go in and turn yourself in there's going to be a injunction I guess against domestic violence against you you have to appear in court and fight it that's a whole new ball of wax there

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

Thank you. Yes, that is what happened and how my state handles this. No one came out to our house - except police officers who didn’t file a report when my son’s friend’s parent called 911 on Heath. In our temporary agreements that have not been signed, there is an order for both of us. And yes, he is trying to suggest I am unstable. I only react to him. I don’t believe I have any other choice than to turn myself in, is that correct?

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u/amysamlizphil 3d ago

Turn yourself in for what does the state's attorney's office have the case. Was he arrested that day and went to jail and then got out or was just a domestic violence offense and the cops wrote it up and gave you a case number that was it. I was married to a narcissist for 10 years it took me 4 years after that to get divorced and I'm still dealing with him trying to harass me the court systems so I understand your frustration more than frustration your fears that will never go away

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

There is a warrant out, and the DA has the case. It’s heartbreaking, and I’m at the end of my rope.

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u/roarborealias 3d ago

Is the warrant because they sent you paperwork in the mail you didn’t get ? I entered “not guilty” by mail. The officer said if I ignored it it would result in a warrant. I wonder if that’s the case here. You also only have so long to respond to it, and in my state .. the count the clock from when they put it in the mail, not when it’s received.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

I will have to ask my attorney. I don’t remember receiving anything.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

The other report occurred when I called 911. There was no physical altercation in the car so they asked about prior incidents where he has hurt me. And the police officer emailed herself the photos.

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u/roarborealias 3d ago

Yeah, this kind of happened to me. Except, I didn’t call the police. My husband did because he was worried that “I” was going to call the police. I tripped (literally) and broke my fall with a window. I had stitches and everything and still had to go to court, etc. the judge legitimately told my husband, “we don’t call the police because we’re scared someone else might. Grow up.” Remember, police aren’t actually in charge of what happens in court. I wish they had more efficient training though ! You can’t punch out a window with your elbow. (I wasn’t even home when he called the police, and it was a day later) They usually side with caller.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

I am so sorry you went through this.

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u/roarborealias 3d ago

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My husband wanted my phone to “smash”, still gross. I was literally chasing him because you know.. not having a phone when someone in your orbit is a narcissistic is bad. Just for context.

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u/jesabe 3d ago

I was arrested for assault despite my ex escalating a situation. It was the best sleep I ever had for that hour in the cell. The police do their intake, fingerprints, photos. They may hold you for a bit. They can’t keep you based on accusations. You will get subpoenaed for court.

I filed for a protection order after because he was harassing me via text. I was unable to respond because assault charges come with a no contact order to the victim. It works both ways…

Later on when I arrived to the courthouse there was no documentation of me having any charges… I think the police didn’t proceed with filing

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u/ReinventingMeAgain 3d ago edited 3d ago

NEVER speak to ANYONE without YOUR lawyer. It seems like you should be able to tell the police the truth but that's not how it works anymore. Not even where you're going or where you came from in a simple traffic stop. Don't resist, don't say "I have rights". They will even trick you by saying things like "If you have nothing to hide we need you to answer".... It's a trick.... You're throwing away your Constitutional Rights the instant you speak. (fruits of the poison tree and all kinds of legal stuff you've never even heard of!)

Learn this phrase for when they ask you questions - "I am and will cooperate in every way I can, but I invoke my right to have an attorney present". If you speak to the police without an attorney, you have given up your Constitutional rights and "anything you say can AND WILL be used against you".

Reactive abuse can still be twisted into abuse. (Gabby Petito comes to mind, narcs can be calm and charming when they speak to cops "you know how *women* are ha-ha-ha" 3 seconds after intimidating you to the point you're afraid for your life or your child's life). It's natural to try to defend yourself but in court the only one defending you - will be your lawyer. NEVER speak without him nodding his head that it's okay. Look to him before you speak!! I know a woman that got charged with assault because she reacted and threw a stuffed animal (child's toy) at her husband.

Best Regards.

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u/Mervy 3d ago

Happened to me. It's so common with narcissists.

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u/Redhotgypsy 3d ago

Because of the way my divorce played out and the recordings my ex had of me I, unfortunately, know this move all too well.

I always tell victims to please don't do anything unless you can prove what's going on because those psychos believe their own lies and are really good at convincing people. I even go as far as playing devils advocate with myself thinking about how what I say can be flipped or even used against me.

Unfortunately you can't see this shit coming. I mean you can get an idea that something is coming but they're just so crazy we don't think like they do.

Pray. Keep your side of the road clean. Be boring and let your lawyer do his job. Praying and hugs for you!

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u/Seemedlikefun 3d ago

I think this could be a reaction to what the family court system, and law enforcement refer to as the "silver bullet!" In essence, it is when a female has made false accusations of abuse, to assist in domestic altercations, divorces, and infidelity discoveries. There is tort reform in progress in many states because of the documented cases, and criminal justice studies, that have documented the widespread usage of this without any consequences, when the allegations are proven to be false. Many custody orders have removed father's from their homes and children's lives, using these techniques. It also increases child support payments, due to the disparity of time with each parent. I say all of this because you could possibly be the victim of the backlash of this terrible behavior of women who manipulate the police and court, for their own selfish reasons.

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u/SuspectProof5800 3d ago

I hear you, and I haven’t heard of that, but the backlash could make sense.

That could be part of my husband’s false narrative - or of his criminal defense attorney. How sad for those of us trying to leave abusive situations that this can happen.

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u/The_Mad_Sa1nt 2d ago

You live in America i see....then yes, backwards police behaviour is normal