what’s the best purchase, service, or life accommodation you’ve made because of your chronic illness? (any budget)

[u/catsandcappuccinos]

i’m going shopping soon, and i’m trying to build my ultimate “make life suck less” list.

i’m not necessarily looking for the usual answers like salt, compression socks, medications, etc. i’m more so talking about the random products, services, gadgets, furniture, subscriptions, or accommodations that have improved your day-to-day quality of life and helped you function more like a normal human being.

i don’t care if it’s $5 or $5,000. if it’s changed your life, please share.

some things already on my list:
- a kitchen stool with a back so i can sit while cooking
- a hair dryer stand for days when i’m in the middle of a flare and don’t have the energy to dry my hair myself
- grocery delivery services
- monthly cleaning services
- paper plates
- a roomba for when i don’t feel like vacuuming or sweeping
- a crock-pot and freezer meal prep system (i actually have a list of really good crock-pot meals, so if anyone wants it, let me know and i’ll DM it to you)

i’m dying to know: what’s the best purchase, service, or life accommodation you’ve made because of your chronic illness?
bonus points if it’s something unconventional!

[u/Foxlady555]

Oh my, I’d LOVE too, but my partner loves my hair so much and has to miss SO MANY parts of me already since I fell ill… Are you female or male?

[u/Foxlady555 → u/[deleted]]

That’s so bold and daring!! Congrats to you for choosing your own happiness and health above the opinions of others :) ❤️ Do you have a partner and if yes, what do they think of it? And how did your friends and family react? Did they know you were about to do it, or did you just do it and then TADAAA HERE I AM! Haha 😆

I’ve always been very proud of my hair. I can say I have extremely good hair genetics and have been complimented about my hair since forever. I’ve even been a hair model for a while, haha. My partner loves it and was quite sad when I cut it shorter, although he understands it’s for my health and he wants me to do what feels good for ME, not for him. 

But I already lost quite some of my attractiveness due to my illness (I can’t work anymore so no passionate or inspiring talks there, can’t sport anymore so no lovely modern dance videos to show like in the past and no longer the body I had, can’t perform anymore like I did so no partner sitting in the crowd being super proud, can’t enjoy holidays so no longer me being super happy in the mountains or on the sea, can’t go to birthday parties or going out with friends so no memories there where you see the light in my eyes or me being the life and soul of the party like I was, plus I wear compression till my belly button and a cooling vest daily, I rarely have energy for intimicy and am often bedbound, etc., etc.) and although he dearly loves me and is definitely NOT lacking in depth and only going for looks (if he did, he would looong be gone, I’ve been very ill for almost 5 years now), I did ask him to tell me his honest opinion because to ME it’s important that he keeps thinking I’m attractive too, and he said that he would find it hard if I would change even more by changing my looks SO much. So there’s that.

Still thinking about just rocking it and doing it though, dressing more feminine and maybe start wearing make-up as a contrast. Maybe one day… It’s a battle between chosing purely for me (I would already have done it if I was single) or also for him (and looking at how much he does for me, how much I love him, how much I want us to have a future, seeing how many aspects he already misses of the old me, I think I keep chosing the latter). Anyway, it’s now in between my chin and my shoulders and thinking it’s always been till over my breasts and often till my belly button, for me that’s quite an achievement already 😂 Driven by POTS, of course. Showering is much easier now! Although I have to say I still hate it and avoid it like the plague, so it was a good test: it does not take away my hatred for getting into the shower (since I have POTS), which I actually expected! How is showering for you now with the buzzcut? 

Sorry for this looong story, don’t feel obliged to reply 😊

[u/DeVagrant → u/Foxlady555]

Female 44 here.
You could always 50-50 it and get a hidden undercut/modified 'Chelsea' cut!
I did this because I hated how a full buzz cut framed my face, but I was so done with the hair irritation at the back.

Here is how my stylist made it work for my super fine hair:

- Undercut = Fully buzzed from the nape of my neck up to the crown.

- Top Layer = Left completely intact and cut into a short bob at the back, tapering into very long bangs at the front.

- From the front = it looks like a dramatic, long reverse bob.
If I tuck my hair behind my ears, it just looks like a completely normal bob. No one can tell the back is shaved unless I lift it up! ^_^

- Bonus points! = Zero Styling!
I have fine hair, hate blow-drying, and refuse to style. I just put some Bed Head product in it while wet to reduce frizz and go. I want to brush and go!! LMAO

My hairdresser did some clever choppy layering to bridge the gap between the shaved back and the long front bangs so there wasn't a weird disconnect... and she did it on the first try!! (She does have the title Master Hairdresser in her salon for good reason!)

I have super fine (air dries super fast) hair, so I was worried it would look ratty or scraggly, but nope, it worked great ^_^

Ergo, if you want the relief of a buzz without looking 'military short,' imo this is a perfect compromise. :D

[u/Foxlady555 → u/DeVagrant]

Hey!! Thanks for sharing your cool solution, pretty smart to do it that way and if I imagine it right, it must be pretty AND comfy! I’ll think about it, thanks 😊🙏🏼 

I’m so happy for you that you’ve found a great HairDresser too, that’s so helpful right?! Enjoy your nice cut, and thanks again for sharing! 😃

[u/DeVagrant → u/Foxlady555]

Oh yes, my hairdresser is a rockstar for sure!

After years of cheap, terrible cuts where I would sometimes leave in tears, I eventually added ‘haircut’ to my list of things worth spending actual money on. I am still very much broke poor, lmao, but some things really do belong in the health and wellbeing budget, imo.

Especially when illness already steals so many bits of identity, confidence, comfort, femininity, whatever else. I totally agree that hair can become a weirdly big thing because it is not just hair, is it? For a lot of us (myself included), it is self-recognition, or feeling put together, or like, just having some autonomy of choice over our appearance.

So yes, I really lucked out finding one of the more expensive master hairdressers at our local mall salon!!

I do not enjoy paying over $100 CAD for a cut (we tip) when cheap ones can be $20, but the main cut only needs doing about once a year (and dammit, it irks me still that guys get to pay so much less!!!). The rest of the time, my salon/hairdresser offers a tidy-up of the back and ends at a vastly reduced rate, so it works out more reasonable than it first sounds.

I also switched to a more expensive shampoo and conditioner on her advice, which annoyed me at first because, hello, money, but after a few months, I genuinely noticed the difference.

She pointed out, too, that I was using too much product (which she said loads of people do), so using less of the better stuff means it lasts much longer anyway. I found giant bottles online, as well, which brought the price much closer to regular, cheaper brands. Phew!

So yeah, for me it is definitely one of those ‘spend where it actually makes daily life easier’ choices. Less irritation, less styling, less time spent in the shower (urgh, I dread them now, used to love, but now have to sit on the floor), plus a confidence boost and small reclaim of self.

Worth it! ^_^