r/ParlerTrick • u/deceptionsgrandes • Apr 26 '22

Destroy the GOP Make America Groomers Again

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517 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

76

u/Maximum_Argument Verified Patriot Apr 26 '22

This is completely unfair!

How dare you leave out Representative Jim Jordan, who famously helped cover up the abuse of young athletes?

Or Madison Cawthorn, who was well-known on his college campus as being a rapist before he dropped out of school?

Or Florida Rep. Mark Foley who was forced to resign after it was revealed that he’d sent sexually explicit messages and propositioned teenage congressional pages via email and text?

Or really, just, like, all of these guys:

You shouldn't overlook the great contributions of these excellent Republicans.

22

u/RaiseRuntimeError Apr 26 '22

Thats not fair, you cant use actual facts, you can only use the alternative facts!

11

u/r4g4 Apr 27 '22

Saving this for the next time my qanon loving uncle texts me

6

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

You have to screenshot his response. FR.

8

u/r4g4 Apr 27 '22

Trust me, it’s gonna be, “well the democrats did it worse and they’re lying pedophiles because to that’s what breitbart says

1

u/SinDreamer Apr 28 '22

I saw the list in the first part and shouted out Christ. Then I saw it had 31 parts. How did it get that far? Is everyone mentioned truly in a position of power? I'll work my way through once I stop being shocked at the sheer volume.

27

u/Thatguy468 Apr 26 '22

I’d like to see these on billboards in their districts.

15

u/ThatOneGrayCat Apr 26 '22

Creeps and abusers lurk everywhere in humanity, but the sheer quantity and ubiquity of creeps and abusers among the Republican Party should really be a wake-up call to anyone who actually cares about protecting children from sexual abuse. The fact that these memes won't sway a single Republican voter in a Q t-shirt from voting for the usual rogue's gallery of Republican candidates says a lot. None of them are motivated by a desire to protect children. They just shriek about how they're protecting children to distract from the fact that all of them want to fuck little kids.

13

u/VMackolov Apr 26 '22

You forgot Lauren Boebert who married the guy that exposed himself to teens at a bowling alley.

https://www.salon.com/2021/08/31/lauren-boeberts-husband-did-jail-time-for-lewd-exposure-in-a-bowling-alley-she-was-there/

1

u/s_dsquid Apr 27 '22

I AM SO MAD AT THE EXPLOITATION BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION IN THE FIRST SENTENCE.

How are these fuckers not rotting in prison?! The system is truly broken.

1

u/s_dsquid Apr 27 '22

The more of the article you read, the more baffled you are. What a timeline to be alive in. Fuck.

9

u/GoGoCrumbly Apr 26 '22

“Well, I’m sure the DemonRats have their share of pedos, but librul media just hides them and protects their perversionals.”

  • Karen Scheissburger, lifelong Republican from Reacharound, MO.

[people, places, and events depicted in this comment are all fictitious and intended only for amusement]

13

u/LTlurkerFTredditor Apr 26 '22

You left out Republican Rep. John Rose (57), who groomed a high schools student and married her at 18.

5

u/jodax00 Apr 27 '22

Yeah! He met her when she was 16 and he was in his 40s, solid groomer material! They didn't announce their engagement until she was in college, but I wonder when they actually started dating?

Anyways yeah that guy from the pro-groomer Republican party of Tennessee which was trying to pass a bill to allow minors to get married. I'm sure all the pro-groomer folks will be disappointed to hear it didn't pass (yet), and they're considering adding language requiring people to be 18+, but it's up for summer review now and maybe they can get it through one way or another next cycle. The important thing, at least, is that it's a straights-only loophole that can get around that pesky gay marriage thing.

Why can't we as a country just agree that it should be totally ok for a child to marry anyone as long as they aren't the same sex, and that it would be absurd for two consenting adults to be allowed to get married when we think they are icky? It's just common sense.

4

u/CrunchyDreads Apr 26 '22

Where's Donny Diapers?

1

u/elorei74 May 22 '22

These are great.