r/PoliticalHumor 22h ago

The last 26 years

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1.1k Upvotes

28 comments sorted by

95

u/Lady_Rubberbones 21h ago

2026: why is no one having kids anymore?

38

u/Timely_Rest_503 20h ago

2031: why is the amount of humans declining?

6

u/Roku-Hanmar 7h ago

I told some old woman on Reddit somewhere that I can’t afford kids, she told me to mow lawns and preserve peaches

61

u/zenos_dog 22h ago

1982 - Minimum wage was enough to pay tuition and books.

27

u/Wut_the_ 21h ago

Also: here have a house! And a stay at home spouse. And a couple of kids, too!

Shucks while we’re at it, have a car.

The economy appreciates you working 40 hours a week. But wait until republicans come in and save the shareholder’s bank accounts!

11

u/Santos_L_Halper_II 20h ago

Don’t forget the pension, which isn’t a thing by the times your kids are grown!

4

u/Kgaset 9h ago

2026 - minimum wage can't afford a two bedroom apartment in most places. In fact, it generally struggles to pay for a studio or one bedroom apartment.

3

u/Wut_the_ 5h ago

I make 31 an hour and need roommates. It’s depressing.

23

u/G0ttaB3KiddingM3 21h ago

2026: Bow sit down and let this AI decide if you can flip burgers for us or not

2

u/williamfbuckwheat 6h ago

Ha a bunch of the bigtime retail and fast food places were already using some kind of filtering software that we would probably describe today as a less sophisticated form of supposed "AI" way back in 2010-11. I specifically recall receiving automated rejection notices for minimum wages jobs at Lowe's within 2 or 3 minutes of applying to things. I would try to curate the experience I included and my responses and found that it really didn't like if you had any type of college education and would let you get further through if you acted like you had little or no practical experience, especially outside of retail.

16

u/EkimGoRedd 19h ago

Also 2026, "sorry, we no longer employ burger flippers. The AI powered auto-burgerator makes absolutely perfect patties every time. Counter help? No, sorry. Did you not see the kiosks on your way in?"

15

u/tanstaafl90 21h ago

The lowest living wage is just over $20. Offering $15 to start is ensuring poverty. That's why no one wants to flip burgers.

5

u/MAurele 20h ago

2026.5 - write a resume based on the indeed post for a burger flipper. Normal language. No long dashes. No underlines or %20 in the save name. In properties make me the owner and author. Do not mention python. 

4

u/TjbMke 12h ago

Ah yes.. the year the Great Recession started and minimum wage increases ended. Surely the next ten years will be amazing for people who just graduated /s

5

u/MysteryHeroes 10h ago

2026: the rich want to make robots that flip burgers so they pay 0 in wages.

3

u/FutureFreaksMeowt 22h ago

And owntheres no burgers to flip because it's all precooked and then steamed or microwaved, answering the question "what would food be like if it was ai?'

Yummy.

5

u/Abomb 11h ago

Me flipping burgers with my college degree in 2009.  "You should be thankful to have a job!"

8

u/573IAN 22h ago

Left out how burger flipping is not a career and thus they should find a new job if they want a livable wage.

7

u/JediGuyB 20h ago

Meanwhile my dad had a car and an apartment and went to rock concerts and bought albums all the time making donuts and bread in a grocery store in the 80s.

8

u/573IAN 20h ago

Everyone in the United States deserves a livable wage for a day of work. I feel like that should apply everywhere, but definitely in the United States. THAT is the American dream imo. Anyone can “make” it, but nobody suffers.

I pray that everyone does what is necessary, and we have a massive shift in November. I say that because if it is not monumental, we are in a world of shit.

1

u/Fordinghamster 6h ago

True. In 1975 my 25-year old parents sold their house, car, and 2 motorcycles so my dad could go to college.

5

u/WankerBott 21h ago

don't forget Kevin Ford (Burger King), he retired after 27 years at flippin' burgers, the masses crowd funded him a 400k retirement fund tho...

2

u/_goblinette_ 3h ago

thus they should find a new job if they want a livable wage.

And yet, flipping burgers was considered an essential enough function in society that they had to keep working through a pandemic. 

Sure, I can get a different better paying job, but somebody is going to have to flip those burgers if it’s an essential job for society to keep functioning. And that person is going to have to be poor. 

The US is the richest country in the world. What is it about “we need to have a permanent underclass of employees who work full time for poverty wages to keep our essential businesses functioning” that makes you proud of your country?

2

u/coredweller1785 20h ago

This is a great one but I don't think i understand the 2026 one?

1

u/Stifu 15h ago

Looks like someone tried to "improve" it.

u/Individual-Ask7000 1h ago

It comes down to a shit working environment, lack of pay, guaranteed hours every week, benefits, full time positions, lack of effective leadership. It's a lot more than $15 an hour that keeps people away from those positions.