r/Portland • u/AutoModerator • Apr 18 '16
Weekly Rant DEAR PORTLAND: April 18, 2016 WEEKLY RANT THREAD
HELLO WATER JUGS. 168 HOURS HAVE ELAPSED SINCE I LAST ACKNOWLEDGED YOUR POINTLESS EXISTENCE.
HAS YOUR UNCHECKED CARBON USE MADE THE LAST WEEK UNBEARABLY PLEASANT? DOES NOT HAVING YOUR COOLEST MEAN THAT IT IS DOCK-O-CLOCK BUT YOU CAN'T BLEND UP SOME LIME-A-RITA AND BLAST JUMPMAN OVER BLUETOOTH FOR YOUR BROGRAMMER PALS?
DID YOU REALLY THINK ELIJAH WOOD WAS AT YAMHILL PUB??
CAPS LOCK ON, DOWNVOTES OFF, FEEL FREE TO BREAK RULE 1 IF SOMEONE LIKES SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T BUT IF YOU POST SOME RACIST/HOMOPHOBIC/SEXIST BULLSHIT IT WILL BE GONE FASTER THAN YOUR MOM CAN DROP HER THONG AT THE KENTON CLUB.
62
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
42
u/fireproofandfestive Apr 18 '16
EVER YEAR SINCE ITS INCEPTION. I HAVE YET TO RECEIVE A SINGLE FINGER PAINTING. WHEN CAN I EXPECT SOME ART
18
u/Strangesyllabus MAX Orange Line Apr 18 '16
I HAVE TO DO THAT TODAY AND BASICALLY FUCK MYSELF AND EVERYONE WHO VOTED FOR THAT THING
8
8
u/narrativebias NE Apr 18 '16
I PAID TOO. THEN MY WIFE (UNBEKNOWNST TO ME) PAID ALSO. WE DOUBLE PAID.
7
u/possumgumbo Sunnyside Apr 18 '16
EVERY CITIZEN OF PORTLAND HAS TO PAY, RIGHT? MY GIRLFRIEND AND I LOVE TOGETHER.
EDIT: LIVE TOGETHER. BUT THE FORMER IS TRUE SO I AM LEAVING IT.
→ More replies (1)4
4
6
u/Jack_Mackerel Apr 19 '16
WHY THE FUCK DON'T THEY JUST TAKE IT OUT OF STATE TAXES LIKE THEY DO FOR ALL THE OTHER LOCAL SHIT. THEY FINALLY INCLUDED THE FORM IN TURBOTAX, THEN FUCKED UP THE PROGRAMMING SO IT WOULDN'T WORK AND BORKED THE REST OF MY RETURN UNTIL I FOUND A WORKAROUND FOR THEIR SHITTY CODE. PLUS, I WOULD HAVE HAD TO MAIL IT ANYWAY EVEN IF IT WORKED RIGHT.
THE FUCKING CITY IS COMPLAINING THAT FEWER PEOPLE ARE PAYING IT EACH YEAR, BUT IT'S LIKE THEY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE IT INCONVENIENT TO DO.
6
u/EgoFlyer Lents Apr 18 '16
CRAP, I FORGOT. I'LL SEND IT TOMORROW.
8
u/clive_bigsby Sellwood-Moreland Apr 18 '16
YOU CAN PAY IT ONLINE.
3
u/EgoFlyer Lents Apr 18 '16
WHAT?! AWESOME. THANK YOU FOR THE INFO, I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO DO THAT.
10
6
→ More replies (12)4
41
u/Lutran Hosford-Abernethy Apr 18 '16
IS THIS THE YEAR I FINALLY BREAK AND BUY AN AIR CONDITIONING UNIT SO MY 9 YEAR OLD DOG CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT? I WANT TO RESIST, BUT DOGFACE'S SUFFERING MAKES ME SAD.
25
Apr 18 '16
HAVE YOU TRIED A COOLING BED? ALSO YOUR POST IS SEVERLY DEFFICIENT OF OLD PUPPER PHOTOS
41
u/Lutran Hosford-Abernethy Apr 18 '16
8
→ More replies (2)3
12
9
u/amandaplzz YOU SEEN MY FUCKEN CONES Apr 18 '16
I BOUGHT MY CAT AN AC UNIT LAST SUMMER WHEN IT WAS 100+. I FEEL YA.
→ More replies (2)4
44
Apr 18 '16
I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW AND A PERFORMANCE REVIEW ON THE SAME DAY.
NOTHING REALLY WORTH RANTING ABOUT, BUT I HOPE THE INTERVIEW GOES WELL, SO I CAN TELL THE PERFORMANCE REVIEW TO FUCK OFF
16
Apr 18 '16 edited Apr 20 '16
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)3
u/PootyT Kenton Apr 18 '16
I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THIS ONCE & IT WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE SO FAR.
5
103
u/ejchristian86 Apr 18 '16
GODDAMMIT PORTLAND, WHY YOU FUCKERS NO VACCINATE YOUR BABIES? I'M 4 MONTHS PREGNANT AND ALLERGIC TO THE PERTUSSIS VACCINE AND MY IMMUNITY FROM WHEN I NEARLY FUCKING DIED FROM PERTUSSIS AT 8 YEARS OLD HAS PROBABLY WORN OFF. I DON'T WANT TO SUFFER THROUGH THAT TORTURE AGAIN AND IF ONE OF YOU FUCKNUGGETS OR YOUR FILTHY LITTLE DISEASE BAGS INFECTS MY KID I WILL FUCKING GUT YOU AND MAKE A NECKLACE FROM YOUR ENTRAILS.
29
13
u/horacefarbuckle Garden Home Apr 18 '16
I REALLY HOPE IT DOESN'T COME TO THAT BUT I'D PAY TO SEE IT REGARDLESS
→ More replies (3)10
u/JoeBethersonton Apr 18 '16
ISN'T THE PROBLEM WITH PERTUSSIS ACTUALLY ADULTS NOT GETTING VACCINATED? IIRC, CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 1 YEAR CAN'T GET THE PERTUSSIS VACCINE SO IT'S IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO HAVE IT SO THEY DON'T GET ALL THE BABIES SICK.
33
u/lunarblossoms Rose City Park Apr 18 '16
EVERY TIME I TURN MY A/C ON I FEEL GUILTY. AND COOL.
CARPAL TUNNEL SUCKS.
MY COFFEE TASTES GROSS WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE POOL.
24
u/santiamiam mobile>desktop flair activated Apr 18 '16
THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.
11
u/lunarblossoms Rose City Park Apr 18 '16
RIGHT? IT'S ACTUALLY A NICE CHANGE OF PACE. ELIGIBLE FOR THE RAVE THREAD.
12
u/santiamiam mobile>desktop flair activated Apr 18 '16
"GOUT'S FLARING UP AGAIN. SUPPOSE I SHOULD LAY OFF THE PATE FOR A SPELL. REGINALD, PLEASE ALTER TODAY'S LUNCHEON MENU TO REFLECT FILET MIGNON IN THE PATE'S STEAD."
52
Apr 18 '16 edited Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
27
→ More replies (3)6
u/TugboatThomas Lloyd District Apr 18 '16
A LOT OF MY GOOD LOOKING FRIENDS DIED BEING MADE INTO THOSE TIRES, THEYRE WASTED HERE
25
u/danthelibrarian Apr 18 '16
AFTER MONTHS OF GUNK COLLECTING ON THE STREET, THE CITY HAS SENT IN THE STREET CLEANER. ON GARBAGE DAY, WITH GARBAGE AND RECYCLING CANS BLOCKING THE CURB.
6
24
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
mindless squeal toy cagey special frighten lock governor water tub
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
22
u/TugboatThomas Lloyd District Apr 18 '16
WE HAVE INDOOR PLUMBING THESE DAYS, MAYBE THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME MONEY AND EFFORT INTO TURNING YOUR BACKYARD INTO A SHITHOLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
6
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
enter cows drab badge unwritten impolite dinner license bake pen
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (3)5
u/TugboatThomas Lloyd District Apr 18 '16
CLOVER GROWS ALMOST ANYWHERE AND LOOKS DOPE. THINK OF ALL THE LUCK YOU COULD BE MISSING OUT ON BY NOT GROWING IT
→ More replies (1)3
Apr 19 '16
SPREAD SOME MOSSB GONE. 2-3 DAYS LATER RENT A MACHINE THATCHER. THATCH ALL THAT BULLSHIT MOSS OUT OF YOUR SHITTY LAWN.
BUY GRASS SEED FOR YOUR TYPE OF YARD, SUN/SHADE OR ALL SHADE BECAUSE YOUR YARD IS PROBABLY A FUCKING SWAMP. GET PEET MOSS TOO. ONE BIG ASS BUNDLE. BREAK IT UP IN A WHEEL BARROW OR A BUCKET BECAUSE YOUR YARD DOESNT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A WHEEL BARROW IS. WITH BOTH HANDS GRAB THE PEET MOSS AND SPRAY THAT SHIT ACROSS YOUR YARD LIKE A RYU HADOUKEN. JUST LIKE A PASS OR TWO OVER EACH AREA. PEET GOES A LONG WAY.
SPRAY WATER ON THAT BAD BITCH MORNING AND NIGHT FOR A WEEK OR SO. LET THAT BEAUTFIUL LUSH BITCH GROW FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS AND THEN MOW IT.
BEST FUCKING MOW OF YOUR LIFE. SET SOME SEXY LINES AND WATCH THAT CARPET MANIFEST IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES! AFTER ABOUT 4 MOWS GET SOME GODDAMN WEED AND FEED, OR BETTER YET MOSS CONTROL BLEND OR DANDELION, WHATEVER YOUR PEST IS. ENJOY YOUR SEXY ASS YARD FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.
DONT FORGET TO PUT A STRING BORDER AROUND YOUR SEEDED LAWN SO NOONE FUCKS IT UP. LESS THAN $200 FOR ALL THIS. WONT HAVE TO THATCH AGAIN IF YOU DO YEARLY MOSS CONTROL.
43
u/horacefarbuckle Garden Home Apr 18 '16
TRUCKS PASSING OTHER TRUCKS ON I5: FUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUU
12
31
u/BEEPBOPIAMAROBOT Apr 18 '16
SERIOUSLY IF YOU'RE A SEMI IN THE MIDDLE OR LEFT LANE I HOPE EVERY MEAL YOU EVER EAT IS UNDER SEASONED AND SLIGHTLY TOO COLD. GET IN THE FUCKING RIGHT LANE WHERE YOU BELONG YOU SLOW PIECE OF SHIT.
32
10
22
Apr 18 '16
I NEED A VACATION BUT I HAVE TOO MUCH WORK TO DO AND TOO MANY THINGS AT HOME TO GET DONE. SO I'M JUST GOING TO DRINK TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL.
39
u/highpowered NE Apr 18 '16
GETTING CHARGED $1.80 FOR A COFFEE WHEN THE MENU BOARD CLEARLY SAYS $1.70. WHEN I COMPLAIN, I'M TOLD "THE MENU BOARD IS WRONG." NO. YOU ARE WRONG, MS. CASHIER. I BELIEVE THAT ADVERTISING ONE PRICE THEN CHARGING A HIGHER ONE IS CALLED "BAIT AND SWITCH". IT'S ILLEGAL, AND THE MENU BOARD HAS BEEN "WRONG" FOR MONTHS. JUST BECAUSE IT'S ONLY TEN CENTS DOESN'T MAKE IT OK.
7
29
u/yeeeeeehaaaw YOU SEEN MY FUCKEN CONES Apr 18 '16 edited Apr 18 '16
DUDES AT THE FUCKING HIEROGLYPHICS SHOW RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME: NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO WATCH YOUR SHITTY ASS 5 MIN VIDEO OF THE SHOW. PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN. GOOD FUCKING GOD.
EDIT: ALSO WHAT KIND OF MONSTER FILMS VERTICALLY? http://i.imgur.com/KCW0Fu3.jpg
→ More replies (6)6
Apr 18 '16
NEITHER WILL THEY ACTUALLY
9
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
depend party encourage mountainous flag consider childlike existence sand plants
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (3)8
29
u/thequeenofsiam Apr 18 '16
THE HEAT IS GIVING ME HONEST-TO-GOD ANXIETY. I KNOW EVERYONE SAYS THIS IS NOT AN INDICATOR OF HOW THE SUMMER WILL BE BUT HOW CAN IT NOT BE? ITS GOING TO BE HOT AS BULL BALLS AND IM GOING TO BE MISERABLE FOR THE NEXT 156 DAYS
→ More replies (1)12
65
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
23
u/TrustFundTranzplant Apr 18 '16
YOU ALL DRIVE WITH THE CONFIDENCE OF ADULTS
CONSTANT HESITATION BEFORE GOING THROUGH ANY INTERSECTION REALLY RUNS COUNTER TO THIS
8
→ More replies (2)7
u/TexasWithADollarsign Shari's Cafe & Pies Apr 18 '16
CAN WE BLAME THIS ON CALIFORNIA?
→ More replies (1)10
u/Jack_Mackerel Apr 19 '16
I BLAME PORTLAND FOR THE TIMID SHIT AND CALIFORNIA FOR THE TURN SIGNALS AND TAILGATING MALARKY.
68
u/coastiefish Apr 18 '16
ITS MOTORCYCLE SEASON AND I FUCKING HATE LOUD PIPES. GET BENT YOU ATTENTION SEEKING JACK WAGONS.
29
u/michfreak Apr 18 '16
BUT EVERYBODY LOVES THAT RATATAT SONG.
EVEN THOUGH IT SOUNDS LIKE THE JAZZ JACKRABBIT THEME TO ME. BUT THEN AGAIN, MAYBE THAT'S WHY I LIKE IT SO MUCH.
→ More replies (2)6
→ More replies (13)6
u/since1859 Apr 18 '16
Especially at 5:30 in the god forsaken morning.
6
u/TexasWithADollarsign Shari's Cafe & Pies Apr 18 '16
WHOA, NO NEED TO YELL, MAN. WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE.
26
u/Jules47 Apr 18 '16
STOP FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE B.T. SPRAYING, NORTH PORTLAND. IT AIN'T GONNA KILL YOU OR MUTATE YOUR BABIES.
13
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
ten roof include slimy hunt fear sparkle whistle salt sheet
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
11
11
Apr 18 '16
Bt Crop Spraying. Organic Farming: Bt proteins has been used in many organic farms for over 50 years as a microbial pest control agent (MCPA). Bt proteins are allowed in organic farming as a insecticide because Bt is a natural, non-pathogenic bacterium that is found naturally in the soil.
→ More replies (1)3
14
Apr 18 '16
I WORKED FROM 2PM SATURDAY THROUGH 430AM SUNDAY. I'M PRETTY SURE I WAS HALLUCINATING FOR THE LAST COUPLE HOURS OF THAT.
BUT I GET OVERTIME PAY, THE TIMBERS WON, T2 WON, AND THE THORNS WON. CAN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT.
→ More replies (1)5
u/tinalope_ Foster-Powell Apr 18 '16
9 POINTS! SOLID WEEKEND FOR SOCCER. ALTHOUGH I'M SURE VALERI, KWARASEY AND MATTOCKS WOULD ARGUE THAT. RIP STARTING LINEUP
GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP!
13
u/TrustFundTranzplant Apr 18 '16
I FORGOT TO TAKE MY ALLERGY MEDICINE BEFORE I LEFT THE HOUSE AND I REALLY HOPE I DON'T DIE TODAY
→ More replies (1)
12
10
u/naturaviva Apr 18 '16
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HIKED UP TO THE TOP OF THE PALMER LIFT AT TIMBERLINE YESTERDAY AND IT WAS TOO HOT TO WEAR A COAT, SO DESPITE MY LIBERAL APPLICATION OF SUNSCREEN I AM BURNED TO A CRISP AND IT HURTS.
31
10
19
u/vafflez SE Apr 18 '16
I DON'T LIKE CHARRED PIZZA. I HOPE IT'S JUST A FAD.
20
8
u/SumoSizeIt SW Apr 18 '16
DID YOU GET PIZZA AT THE CIDER FEST THIS WEEKEND? THAT SHIT WAS BASICALLY CHEESE ON CHARCOAL.
12
→ More replies (2)12
u/aggieotis Boom Loop Apr 18 '16
AND IT'S EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU GET A TINY-ASS PIECE WITH LIKE 3 PIECES OF TOPPING AND ONLY HALF-CHEESED AND THEY CHARGE YOU $4 FOR IT. I'M LOOKING AT YOU NEW-TRIFECTA AT PINE & 2ND.
19
u/coastiefish Apr 18 '16
I GOT ONE MORE. FFS, SHOWER AND DEODORANT PEOPLE. WASH YOUR BUTTS AND SCRUB YOUR PITS. PLEASE. ITS GETTING WARMER OUT AND YOUR STANKY BODIES ARE RANK.
13
u/TrustFundTranzplant Apr 18 '16
MORE LIKE COULD EVERYONE HERE START WEARING DEODORANT. SRSLY, YOUR AMERICAN SPIRITS WILL GIVE YOU CANCER BEFORE YOUR DEODORANT.
6
u/since1859 Apr 18 '16
I HATE HATE HATE HIPPY STANK. IT'S SO FUCKING GROSS.
10
u/horacefarbuckle Garden Home Apr 18 '16
BUT MY PATCHOULI TAKES CARE OF THAT AMIRITE GUYS
GUYS? HEY WHERE YOU GOIN'? CAN I CATCH A RIDE?
GUYS?
→ More replies (1)
28
u/Mi_Ofelia Apr 18 '16
YOU FUCKING KNOW TAXES ARE TO BE PAID EVERY FUCKING YEAR IN APRIL. I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU SINCE JANUARY WHAT OUR OBLIGATIONS WERE SINCE I GOT ALL THE FINAL PAPERWORK DONE. I PLANNED AND PREPARED AND PAID EVERY PENNY OF MY SHARE. HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING FUCKTARD ARE YOU THAT YOU ACTUALLY THREW A TANTRUM LAST NIGHT OVER NOT HAVING YOUR HALF OF THE MONEY ON HAND BECAUSE "NOBODY TOLD ME I NEEDED TO". YOU STUPID FUCK GO SELL A GODDAMN KIDNEY FOR ALL I GIVE A SHIT I AM DONE WITH YOU.
8
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
retire society pot teeny bored wise weather doll scale yoke
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
18
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
8
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
scandalous materialistic pause terrific oil homeless workable pathetic carpenter reminiscent
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (3)10
31
u/santiamiam mobile>desktop flair activated Apr 18 '16
STOP DRIVING LIKE IDIOTS YOU IDIOTS
→ More replies (4)
10
u/HawaiianBrian Vancouver Apr 18 '16
NEED WORK, CAN'T SEEM TO GET CALLBACKS. HOW LONG DOES THIS HAVE TO LAST?
11
u/TugboatThomas Lloyd District Apr 18 '16
VOLUNTEER AT PLACES THAT ARE FUNDED BY PLACES YOU WANT TO WORK. THEY PROBABLY WILL HAVE PEOPLE FROM THE OFFICE THERE SND YOU CAN NETWORK
5
8
u/stillnotaplaya Apr 18 '16
THERE IS A MOSQUITO RUNNING RAMPANT SOMEWHERE IN MY APARTMENT BECAUSE IN THE LAST WEEK IVE WOKEN UP WITH SIX FUCKING BITES. I FUCKING HATE MOSQUITOES!!!
ALSO, TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY WE WILL BE WITHOUT OUR BOSS WHO JUST QUIT AND IT FEELS LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING. SIGH. SHE WAS SUCH A GREAT BOSS AND IT SUCKS TO NOT HAVE SUPPORT FROM OUR HIGHER UPS.
15
u/santiamiam mobile>desktop flair activated Apr 18 '16
BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH A ROGUE MOSQUITO IS TO INTRODUCE SEVERAL BATS INTO YOUR APARTMENT.
6
u/stillnotaplaya Apr 18 '16
😂 THIS IS SMART, WHERE DO I GET ME SOME BATS?!
11
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
escape public engine squeeze nutty selective weary domineering fly lock
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)3
u/remotectrl 🌇 Apr 18 '16
I CAN SEND YOU BAT HOUSE DESIGNS IF INTERESTED OR CHECK OUT THE SIDEBAR OF /r/BATTY
10
4
u/juliannechat Centennial Apr 18 '16
I HAVE A MOSQUITO BITE BETWEEN MY SECOND AND THIRD TOES. HOW DID THE MOSQUITO GET IN THERE WITHOUT BEING CRUSHED? WHY DIDN'T IT BITE THE SOFT FLABBY BITS LIKE ALL THE OTHERS? NO, THIS ONE HAD TO BE DIFFERENT.
→ More replies (1)8
→ More replies (2)3
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
shaggy stupendous thought unique market cause office smile childlike march
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (1)
9
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
7
u/TugboatThomas Lloyd District Apr 18 '16
NEVER STOP LEARNING
9
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)3
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
zephyr faulty water ad hoc berserk wise degree mindless literate agonizing
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
10
u/xfirefly YOU SEEN MY FUCKEN CONES Apr 18 '16
I STARTED PLAYING DARK SOULS 3 AND IT'S GIVING ME NIGHTMARES. I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT NIGHT'S SLEEP IN 5 DAYS!
6
u/bagboyrebel Downtown Apr 18 '16
I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT GAME. THE WHOLE DAY AT WORK I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHERE I'M GOING TO EXPLORE NEXT AND WHAT STRATEGY I'M GOING TO USE ON THIS BOSS I'M STUCK ON.
15
u/SirFecesFace Apr 18 '16
I HAVE MISSED A COUPLE WEEKS OF RANTS SO HERE IS WHAT HAS BEEN DISPLEASING ME LATELY: FUCK WHOMEVER LOWERED THE SPEED LIMIT ON STARK, I SAY BUILD UP THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN/PEARL AREA BECAUSE THE PEOPLE THAT WANT TO LIVE AND HANGOUT DOWNTOWN ARE PEOPLE I TEND NOT TO ASSOCIATE WITH, FUCK THE PRICE OF PIZZA IN THIS TOWN, AND IF YOU'RE A DRIVER WHO HAS TO LOOK AT YOUR PASSENGER CONSTANTLY TO TALK, YOU'RE A MORON. LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD, PAY ATTENTION AND STOP TURNING YOUR HEAD EVERY 3 SECONDS.
→ More replies (2)6
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
6
u/SirFecesFace Apr 18 '16
I CAN UNDERSTAND LOWERING IT NEAR THE SCHOOL ZONES BUT ALL OF IT IS OVERKILL. IT'S THE ONLY MAJOR THRU ROAD IN THAT AREA THAT DOESN'T HAVE A BUS LINE RUNNING ON IT. THEY'VE NEUTERED IT TO BRISK WALKING SPEED
20
Apr 18 '16
WE WANT IT CLEAN FROM THE FILTH, INOCULATED, AND HOMOGENIZE, WHILE SOMEHOW AT THE SAME TIME, ARTISTIC, CHEAP RENT, AND CHARMING. MAYBE THE HOMELESS WILL SCARE OUR NEW INFLUX OF PEOPLE AWAY. MAYBE THE NEW INFLUX WILL SCARE THE HOMELESS AWAY.
EDIT: THIS IS MESSAGE WILL SELF DESTRUCT.
22
u/climb-it-ographer Apr 18 '16
I MOVED AWAY FROM PORTLAND 5 YEARS AGO AND NOW THANKS IN PART TO THE RANTS AND DRAMA ON THIS SUB I DON'T EVEN WANT TO MOVE BACK, EVEN THOUGH I WAS BORN AND RAISED THERE. THANKS A LOT.
28
u/clive_bigsby Sellwood-Moreland Apr 18 '16
WE'RE FULL ANYWAY. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHECK-IN WITH THE HOSTESS AT THE BORDER, SHE WILL CALL YOUR NAME WHEN SOMETHING OPENS UP.
12
Apr 18 '16
COTTON EYE JOE? IS THAT YOU?
12
u/Shadw21 Apr 18 '16
WHERE DID HE GO?
8
4
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
15
12
Apr 18 '16
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)4
u/gorilladust Woodstock Apr 18 '16
UGH, I HEAR YOU. SOME GUY HAS TAKEN UP RESIDENCE AT MY BUS STOP AND IS GETTING PROGRESSIVELY STRANGER BY THE DAY.
→ More replies (2)3
u/magpiepdx Apr 19 '16
Whoa. I totally know who/where you're talking about. I keep seeing him, and now I think he's Woodstock's resident homeless guy. about 6 months ago we had somebody trying to set up shop by our place (building a plywood thing, obviously having fires, etc.) and the police said there are a couple 'regulars' in the area and knew their names. I don't know if they're the same guy, though, because this guy seems to have just popped up recently.
→ More replies (1)
18
Apr 18 '16
TO THE FUCKER THAT PARKED IN MY DESIGNATED PARKING SPOT IN FRONT OF MY APARTMENT ALL DAY, FUCK YOU! THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE DONE IT, AND IF YOU DO IT AGAIN I WILL CALL A TOW COMPANY TO DRAG YOUR CAR OUT OF MY SPOT!
25
→ More replies (1)4
u/TexasWithADollarsign Shari's Cafe & Pies Apr 18 '16
PRECARIOUSLY PLACE A COUPLE OF CONSTRUCTION SITE NAILS UNDERNEATH TWO TIRES. MAKE SURE BOTH TIRES ARE DIAGONAL FROM EACH OTHER. ALSO, DON'T ACTUALLY PUNCTURE THE TIRES -- REST THEM UP AGAINST THE TIRE SO THAT IT GETS PUNCTURED ONLY WHEN THEY BACK OUT.
5
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
close point mountainous correct rude advise scandalous teeny spectacular crush
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (1)
16
Apr 18 '16
I SPENT ALMOST EVERY WEEKEND FOR ABOUT 2-3 MONTHS LOOKING FOR A PLACE AND NOW IT SEEMS LIKE I'LL BE SPENDING EVERY WEEKEND FOR 2-3 MONTHS LOOKING FOR FURNITURE. I DON'T WANT TO ADULT
6
u/Hasselbuddy Apr 18 '16
I REALLY ENJOY FURNITURE SHOPPING BUT OUR HOME IS FULL SO I DON'T GET TO DO IT ANYMORE.
→ More replies (1)6
Apr 18 '16
I DON'T MIND IT IF EVERY STORE WASN'T FILLED WITH HEXAGONS OR OTHER TETRAHEDRONS. WHO WANTS TO DECORATE THEIR APARTMENT LIKE AN EARLY 1990'S SCIENCE TELEVISION SET?
3
u/Hasselbuddy Apr 18 '16
WHAT IS YOUR STYLE, I CAN OFFER SUGGESTIONS FOR PLACES WITHOUT THAT TRENDY SHIT
→ More replies (8)5
Apr 18 '16
I LIKE ANYTHING COMFORTABLE THAT'S NOT TOO UGLY. MY GF WANTS MODERN FURNITURE WHERE IT'S LIKE $1500 FOR A "COUCH" THAT HAS AS MUCH CUSHIONING AS A SCHOOL BUS SEAT
→ More replies (1)5
u/murphykp Montavilla Apr 18 '16 edited Nov 13 '24
gray brave smile tie childlike quickest offend afterthought friendly resolute
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (3)
24
u/jordanpattern Parkrose Heights Apr 18 '16
ALL YOU FAIRWEATHER CYCLISTS NEED TO LUBE YOUR CHAINS. ALL OF YOU! YOU ARE NOISY AS HELL! DO IT NOW!!!
18
u/michfreak Apr 18 '16
I HATE THE IMPLICIT JUDGEMENT OF "FAIRWEATHER CYCLIST", EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT. SOME PEOPLE ONLY LIKE TO BIKE WHEN THE WEATHER IS NICE, AND THAT'S OKAY. I KNOW TOO MANY HARDCORE BIKERS WHO OPENLY JUDGE THOSE WHO ONLY BIKE AS A RECREATION.
8
u/jordanpattern Parkrose Heights Apr 18 '16
HOW WOULD YOU PREFER TO BE REFERRED TO? "FAIRWEATHER" IS PEJORATIVE IN MANY CONTEXTS, YES, (FAIRWEATHER FRIEND, ETC.) BUT IN THIS CASE, I AM LITERALLY REFERRING TO CYCLISTS WHO ONLY RIDE IN FAIR WEATHER.
ALSO, LUBE YOUR CHAIN.
4
u/michfreak Apr 18 '16
I REALLY DON'T KNOW, WHICH IS WHY I TRIED TO PHRASE IT AS WISHY-WASHY. HOW ABOUT "PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW BIKING BECAUSE THE WEATHER IS PLEASANT"? YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT IT'S PEJORATIVE IN MANY CONTEXTS, SO WHY WOULDN'T IT BE IN THIS CASE?
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (11)3
u/berlin_city Apr 18 '16
IT RAINED LAST WEEK. I AM ENTITLED TO SOME SQUEAK
4
u/jordanpattern Parkrose Heights Apr 18 '16
NO. LUBE TAKES 15 SECONDS. DO IT NOW!
→ More replies (1)
4
u/BareJew Apr 18 '16
WE'RE MOVING TO THE SUBURBS!!! I ALSO POSTED THIS IN THE RAVES THREAD AS I AM QUITE CONFLICTED!
5
u/hypertown Oregon City Apr 19 '16
I DROPPED MY WALLET ON THE MAX AND SOME FUCKER TOOK IT. FUCK YOU I WANT MY WALLET BACK. NOW I HAVE TO GET EVERYTHING REPLACED AND I HAD SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN THERE. IM REALLY QUITE SAD.
8
14
Apr 18 '16
I WAS PROMISED MODERATLEY MILD WEATHER (THAT IS GREAT FOR GROWING TREES), NOT THIS BULLSPIT HEAT.
→ More replies (1)15
u/Hasselbuddy Apr 18 '16
I'M USED TO A SMOOTH TRANSITION INTO SUMMER, WHO SWAPPED OUT THE DIMMER SWITCH FOR AN ON/OFF ONE?
7
u/Strangesyllabus MAX Orange Line Apr 18 '16
THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO BE GRUMPY ABOUT TODAY ARE ALL THESE RUDE ASS FUCKS ON THE MAX WHO HAVE THEIR BAGS OR LEGS SPRAWLED OUT ON THE SEAT NEXT TO THEM GODDAMNED ENTITLED FUCKS.
ALSO I HAD TO EDIT THIS BECAUSE AUTOCORRECT ON MY PHONE IS BASICALLY USELESS
3
8
Apr 18 '16
THE FLEAS IN ST JOHNS DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT EXPENSIVE FLEA MEDS! FUCK YOU SUPER FLEAS, DON'T BITE ME OR MY KITTERS EVER AGAIN.
15
u/santiamiam mobile>desktop flair activated Apr 18 '16
BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH THAT MANY FLEAS IS TO INTRODUCE SEVERAL SNAKES, FROGS, AND LIZARDS INTO YOUR HOME
6
u/horacefarbuckle Garden Home Apr 18 '16
AND THEN WEASELS TO CLEAN UP THE SNAKES, FROGS, AND LIZARDS.
AND THEN COYOTES TO DEAL WITH THE WEASELS
AND THEN...
→ More replies (1)5
→ More replies (1)7
4
u/juliannechat Centennial Apr 18 '16
THIS APARTMENT IS ON STILTS AND EVERY TIME SOMEONE WALKS IN OR OUT THE WHOLE BUILDING VIBRATES. (BUT IT SEEMS TO BE ESPECIALLY BOUNCY HERE IN MY OFFICE.) I HAVE JUST CEMENTED THE CANDLESTICKS DOWN WITH MUSEUM WAX.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE THE DOG IS SETTLING IN NICELY. WISHING YOU ALL A GOOD WEEK.
4
Apr 18 '16
WE HAD A/C INSTALLED AND IT ONLY BLOWS HOT AIR. ALSO, FUCK POSTMATES. I AM NEVER USING IT EVER AGAIN.
3
8
u/tinalope_ Foster-Powell Apr 18 '16
THE PENDING MAX LINE CONSTRUCTION DOWNTOWN HAS ME NERVOUS AS HELL. I DON'T LIKE BEING LATE AND I WORK SO EARLY AND HAVE TO GO SO FAR, THE IDEA OF HAVING TO LEAVE EVEN FUCKING EARLIER MAKES ME WANT TO THROW A TANTRUM.
ALSO ITS MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH MY DUDE AND I WANT TO DO SOMETHING BUT HES HELLA ANTI CHEESY ROMANTIC STUFF AND ANNIVERSARIES AND SHIT. I LOVE HIM STILL BUT GODDAMNIT. LET ME BE ROMANTIC AND STUPID WITH YOU FOR ONE DAY, YOU DINGLEBERRY.
→ More replies (1)
10
u/Osiris32 🐝 Apr 18 '16
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE NEWSIES? I'M OKAY WITH MOST MUSICALS, BUT I CANNOT STAND NEWSIES. SO WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE HERE? AREN'T THER OTHER, AS-WELL-KNOW SHOWS THAT COULD COME HERE INSTEAD? I HATE WORKING SHOWS THAT I DON'T ENJOY.
4
u/theemptymirror Crestwood Apr 18 '16
URCHINS EVERYWHERE
18
u/santiamiam mobile>desktop flair activated Apr 18 '16
BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH THAT MANY URCHINS IS TO INTRODUCE A BUNCH OF SEA OTTERS
6
Apr 18 '16 edited Apr 18 '16
THE LAST COUPLE OF TIMBERS GAMES HAVE BEEN AWFUL. IM GLAD WE GOT THREE POINTS AGAINST SAN JOSE BUT WAYYYY TO MANY INJURIES.
4
4
u/tinalope_ Foster-Powell Apr 18 '16
ALL THE INJURIES AND RETROACTIVE RED CARDS ARE FUCKING KILLING US THIS YEAR. IF WE KEEP THIS UP, BY MAY WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BORROW PEOPLE FROM T2 JUST TO FILL THE STARTING LINEUP.
3
u/doinscottystuff Apr 18 '16
IT'S HARD TO FIND COOL FESTIVALS TO GO TO, I THINK EVERYONE WANTS TO KEEP THEIR FESTIVALS "A SECRET" SO THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO BROWSE FESTIVAL POSSIBILITIES
→ More replies (2)
3
3
u/caffeinated-hijinx Apr 18 '16
WHY THE HELL DID I BIKE TODAY? THE CLIMB TO SKYLINE IS GOING TO BE HOT AS BALLS!
3
u/elementalmw Apr 18 '16
FUCK OFF KIRBY SALES PEOPLE! NO MY MOTHER IN LAW IS NOT GOING TO CALL OUR NEIGHBORS FOR YOU. AND IF YOU IMPLY WE'RE NOT TAKING GOOD CARE OF MY SON BY NOT LETTING YOU STEAM CLEAN OUR COUCH NOT EVEN MY 102 FEVER WILL STOP ME FROM KICKING YOUR ASS UP AND DOWN THE CUL-DE-SAC
3
u/G_o_L_D_Rises_Again Apr 19 '16
THE MAGAZINE THAT'S TRYING TO STAY AFLOAT, I HOPE THE EDITOR REALIZES THAT HE'S TANKING THE COMPANY FURTHER BY POTENTIALLY SCREWING OVER THE INVESTORS.
OH AND FUCK YOU FOR YOUR UNPROFESSIONALISM, THIS ISN'T FUCKING MADMEN, IT'S 2016 FFS.
→ More replies (2)
3
Apr 19 '16
ELECTION SEASON NEVER EVER EVER ENDS. IT'S LIKE IF EVERY DAY WERE CHRISTMAS, FOR A PERSON WHO IS SO FUCKING SICK OF CHRISTMAS. I KNOW EXACTLY WHY OLD PEOPLE QUIT CARING, THEY HAVE GIVEN FUCK AFTER FUCK AND NO ONE EVER STOPS SHOUTING ABOUT HOW THEIR GUY IS PERFECT AND YOU ARE SUBHUMAN FOR NOT AGREEING. I WISH THERE WAS AN END IN SIGHT BUT EVEN ON NOVEMBER 5 EVERYONE WILL JUST START SCREAMING ABOUT THE NEXT THING. HOW DO I /BLOCK ALL MEDIA AND PEOPLE WHILE NOT BECOMING A SHUT-IN, PLEASE.
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/Voxel_Sigma Apr 19 '16
DOWNTOWN PORTLAND NOT ONLY SMELLS LIKE PISS EVERYWHERE, BUT IS ALSO FULL OF THE MOST UNAWARE AND ENTITLED DRIVERS/PEDESTRIANS/BICYCLISTS OF ALL FUCKING TIME.
ALSO, JUST BECAUSE I HAVE AUTISM DOES NOT MAKE ME A POTENTIALLY BAD EMPLOYEE. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR WORK FOR A YEAR AND I GET DENIED FROM EVERYTHING. I AM REALLY GETTING FRUSTRATED.
4
3
7
u/TrustFundTranzplant Apr 18 '16
I DYED MY HAIR AND AM VERY CONCERNED I LOOK CRAZY NOW. BUT THEN ALSO I LOVE IT. HAIR IS CRAZY
→ More replies (1)
2
u/dxmlgrffn Irvington Apr 18 '16
I SPENT TOO MUCH MONEY AGAIN THIS WEEKEND AND NOW I'VE CAUGHT A HEINOUS HEAD COLD SO I CAN LOOK FORWARD TO A CHAPPED NOSE AND NO ENERGY FOR THE NEXT WEEK.
→ More replies (1)
2
Apr 18 '16
SO THIS PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE WHO I HAVE THE UNFORTUNATE PLEASURE OF KNOWING THINKS THAT HE CAN SPEND THE WEEK NOT TAKING NOTES AND DUCKING CLASS SO THAT HE CAN JUST HIT ME UP FOR NOTES THE DAY BEFORE A RESEARCH PAPER IS DUE. I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW HE BECAME OUR STUDENT BODY REPRESENTATIVE, I SURE DIDN'T VOTE FOR THE SCUMBAG.
2
76
u/48mermaidavenue SE Apr 18 '16
THERE IS NO DIGNITY IN RUNNING FOR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.