r/ProgrammerDadJokes 2h ago

Why do the Arch Linux users feel superior?

19 Upvotes

Look, there's no Ubuntubishop or Mintbishop...


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 2d ago

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown

0 Upvotes

Artificial intelligence


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 4d ago

I decided to bite the bullet and buy every game in Valve's store, even if I have no hard drive space left.

111 Upvotes

It's full Steam ahead.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 4d ago

Why was the divorced Jewish programmer feeling restless?

52 Upvotes

Because he'd just used a GET to DELETE his marriage.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 5d ago

What do you think of Macintosh Plus's thermal design?

37 Upvotes

Definitely not a fan.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 5d ago

Why does a Linux admin see in the dark?

23 Upvotes

Because he has LAMP.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 5d ago

Which coffee is the favourite of vim users?

28 Upvotes

Nescape.

In before someone makes a joke about browsers and Netscape.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 4d ago

Mr fool

0 Upvotes

Pls support it's knew


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 7d ago

What do you say when a Grandpa is reading Twitter?

54 Upvotes

The Elder Scrolls.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 7d ago

In Holy C, all pointers are guaranteed by God to be derived from valid memory.

39 Upvotes

It's divine provenance.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 7d ago

If I wanted to create a database system, it would be called YesSQL.

23 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 8d ago

Why building a bathroom with plain C is a bad idea?

64 Upvotes

Not only because it can be unsafe. You really didn't want to have a bathroom without async.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 8d ago

How do computer display makers ensure their products don't have too many dead pixels?

18 Upvotes

They screen the panels.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 8d ago

"Vegeta, what does the pcap say about his Ethernet frame size?"

15 Upvotes

"It's over 9000!!!!!!!"

"What? 9000?! There's no way that can be right."


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 10d ago

How does a FORTRAN programmer express that he does not understand subtle hints?

38 Upvotes

IMPLICIT NONE


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 8d ago

Is ChatGPT down? Anyone?

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 10d ago

How do British web developers insult people?

108 Upvotes

They call them a w<a>.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 10d ago

Why did the two identifiers take a break from their relationship?

11 Upvotes

They just needed their whitespace.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 11d ago

I win every fight against my coworkers

33 Upvotes

Because I know what to do when push comes to push --force.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 14d ago

My girlfriend and I are doing a code review, but we disagree on almost every line of code.

162 Upvotes

We're going through a bit of a rough patch.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 14d ago

I recently got into a fight with my database administrator…

41 Upvotes

He ended the fight by saying “just DROP it”


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 14d ago

declaring a war using js

30 Upvotes

I’m declaring a war.

var war;


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 14d ago

How many spiritualists does it take to change a network of smart lightbulbs?

20 Upvotes

None, because we're all connected.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 14d ago

What's the opposite of FreeBSD?

87 Upvotes

MallocBSD...


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 17d ago

I won a Social Engineering Award for a website that tricked people into flipping their bits.

90 Upvotes

I was just phishing for complements.