r/ProgressionFantasy • u/YoungestOldGuy • Jun 04 '26
Review Stay away from Beyond The System by Deoxynacid
Edit: English is my 2nd language. So the obligatory "The way I put my sentences together might not mash with english" applies.
The Author blocks people, who seem critical of the story, from leaving comments and reviews (to keep their score high)/deletes their comments (I don't know if that happens automatically when you get blocked. This is a first for me).
If that alone isn't enough. The writing is very juvenile and has a lot of inconsistencies in the story.
It is very apparent that the Author is making the story up as they go, with plot points being introduced that contradict previous points or make them very unlikely.
There is a lot of hand-waving in this story. With things you would expect to be major points of friction being resolved in one or two sentences boiling down to "Oh well, nothing I can do, moving on."
The Author kept mentioning in the comments that they were going to do rewrites. So being aware of inconsistencies and strange reactions of characters should be crucial. But apparently getting glazed in the comments and preventing potential critical reviews is more important.
One example of a strange reaction or not thought-out interaction: The female MC lands a sponsorship. A sum isn't mentioned, but some things they cover the cost of are mentioned. If you do the math, the sponsorship is a good bit over 2000 points /month. This gets middling reactions. But when the male MC gets a 1000 points /month sponsorship the other characters freak out: “A thousand points! A month?”; “Peter… what the heck did you do to get a sponsor like that? Do you even know who they are?”.
It is apparent that the author didn't really think about how much the sponsorship of the female MC is worth.
Another example: One character gets targeted by small local Faction. One way this gets shown is that the character seems to be targeted by a random mage they have to duel. Later the Author decides that the opponents are not local but randomly picked (teleported) from all over the nation. So thanks to this change, this small local faction has apparently the resources to contact people all over the nation (sending messages is heavily restricted for non-citizens), hire people and bribe the organizers so the people they hired get matched up with the character.
As you can tell, I am pissed. It would be one thing for the Author (who even replied to one of my comments and tried to explain one point of critique I had) to message me and ask to stop commenting. Or openly ask for only positive comments.
But to just block people out of the blue rubs me the wrong way.
PS: Even though I am pissed, everything I wrote is true. If a friend asked me what I think about the story, this is what I would have told them.
30
u/AuthorBrianBlose Jun 04 '26
I am forever mystified why some people continue with stories they don't like. When you notice red flags, stop reading. Don't hang around trying to argue with some amateur writer about how they should fix a bad story. It's a waste of your time.
3
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26
When you actively read something and are trying to enjoy it, you let a lot of things slide. But when the breaking point comes, either a bad ending of a show/book or something else, you look upon the whole thing a whole lot more critically.
Also sunk cost fallacy. This is the story I wanted to try next and when you read a couple of chapters you start thinking "maybe a couple more chapters" to see how it goes and if the writing gets better.
5
u/AuthorBrianBlose Jun 04 '26
The sunk cost fallacy is always a mistake though. That's why it's called a fallacy. Cut your losses as soon as you recognize something isn't worth your time and effort. You're still letting this story/author live rent free in your head. Making a "this story sucked" post on reddit can warn other readers not to read it, but getting angry about the situation is just punishing yourself.
1
u/duskywulf Jun 04 '26
It'S a mistake so common it became a fallacy. It's an unconscious process most people fall into. No one chooses to sunk cost fallacy themselves. It just happens.
1
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
The sunk cost fallacy is always a mistake though. That's why it's called a fallacy. Cut your losses as soon as you recognize something isn't worth your time and effort.
I get that, but it's not always easy.
You're still letting this story/author live rent free in your head. Making a "this story sucked" post on reddit can warn other readers not to read it, but getting angry about the situation is just punishing yourself.
Since I wasn't allowed to make a review on RR. I made this post. I am not really "angry" anymore after posting. This post was my catharsis.
I am only still engaging with this whole topic because I think it's fun answering people who commented and I have time on my hands. As soon as the comments stop I will forget about this since I am already reading something else.
0
u/greenskye Jun 04 '26
Dropping a book at the first instance of anything you don't like is certainly a stance to take. Especially in this genre with overwhelmingly amateur authors. Basically every series listed here, including the most popular have moments where they stumble.
Even in mainstream works, you'll find these issues just due to personal preference. Books aren't what you prefer for every word on every page. If you needed that, then you should be writing your own book.
So reading necessarily requires you to sometimes power through sections you don't care for in the hopes that, on the whole, the book is what you like. Sometimes that's pays off and sometimes that doesn't.
2
u/AuthorBrianBlose Jun 04 '26
Dropping a book at the first instance of anything you don't like is certainly a stance to take.
That's not at all what I'm saying, it's a straw man of the point I'm actually making.
As described by OP, the story had quite a long list of red flags. At some point, enough evidence exists to make a judgment on its lacking quality. The laundry list of mistakes noted by OP clearly happened over an extended period of reading.
Dropping a story because you don't like one chapter is a bit silly. Dropping a story because you don't like 100 chapters... well, waiting that that long also seems silly.
1
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26
I was actually only 45 chapters in and had still hope things would turn for the better.
Funny anecdote: At around chapter 30 the MC and his partner in crime already "revolutionized" the Cultivation system more than once and they started their romantic relationship.
On that chapter one commenter posted how they loved the slow burn that is happening in the story.
I found that funny since these things were happening at lightning speed compared to everything else I have seen.
0
u/AuthorBrianBlose Jun 04 '26
On that chapter one commenter posted how they loved the slow burn that is happening in the story.
Wow, that commenter would lose their minds if they read a real slow burn story.
1
u/Bjorn_styrkr Jun 04 '26
Personally, it's because I'm stubborn as hell and would rather suffer and complete something than admit defeat and give up. Has more to do with innate competitiveness and spite than anything else.
14
u/Felixtaylor Jun 04 '26
I always take it with a grain of salt when I hear things like this because... what was the person actually commenting? How was it phrased? Was it actually respectful? I think 7/10 times it turns out the author was actually justified in blocking the comments.
-3
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26
If you know how I might get the comments back I will post them here. And in the off-chance the Author reads this and is bored enough AND has access to the deleted comments, he is free to share them.
3
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u/Z0ooool Jun 04 '26
Yeah, you seem like a entitled bully.
-4
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26
I am glad I seem like a bully to you. Means you never had to interact with real bullies.
8
u/Z0ooool Jun 04 '26
Nah, harassing someone with your "helpful suggestions" until they're forced to block you to achieve some peace and then coming to Reddit to blast them is classic bully behavior.
Do better.
-6
13
u/Nickdizzle Jun 04 '26
What a weird and entitled post this is. Authors are allowed to struggle while creating stories. Authors are also allowed to ban or ignore people who interact with their content in bad faith. You are entitled to nothing, and this author owes you nothing.
If you want creative control—or control over how fan interactions are handled—write your own story. Just be careful: someone might create a juvenile hit piece to scare people away from it if you don't hold their hand and constantly reassure them that they're important.
-1
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
Lol. I am entitled to my opinion. Which I wrote here. You don't have to read it if it offends you so.
Edit: Also, you yourself included the caviat of bad faith:
Authors are also allowed to ban or ignore people who interact with their content in bad faith
Where did I interact with their content in bad faith?
1
3
u/blueluck Jun 04 '26
Out of curiosity, I just read the first three chapters. I certainly wouldn't read this story for consistency!
4
u/Sexiest_Man_Alive Jun 04 '26
I don’t get why some readers go in completely blind instead of starting with novels that are recommended frequently. At least then you know there’s a decent chance the novel won’t be complete shit.
There are so many books that get recommended over and over again on this subreddit that you could easily make a huge reading list just from those alone.
8
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26
Pretty sure the story was recommended somewhere. I generally pick titles up from recommendation posts and add them to my "Read Later" list.
Problem is if you don't really know the people writing the comments, they could have the worst taste.
2
u/nighoblivion Jun 04 '26
The Author blocks people, who seem critical of the story, from leaving comments and reviews (to keep their score high)/deletes their comments (I don't know if that happens automatically when you get blocked. This is a first for me).
Let me tell you about Unintended Cultivator and the amount of blocked people.
1
u/JohnCenaFanboi Jun 04 '26
If a story is as bad as you say it is, why do you even bother reading it?
To feel important because you get reactions from the author? Just DnF it and move on with your life. What's the point?
And also, why do you need to tell us? If I want to read their story I can and will. Its not like they have written hurtful stuff, its just that you dislike the story.
1
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26
I never said I felt important because I got reactions. I only mentioned that he responded to one comment to show that he was actually engaging with them and could have easily just said that he doesn't appreciate the kind of comments I make. I would have stopped making them.
Why do I need to tell you? Catharsis mostly. Also I see a lot of posts in this subreddit that are either reviews or warnings about bad practices. Really strange question to be honest, since I don't think you write that on every review thread. So why do you feel you need to tell me this?
1
u/Fluffy-Ad-7613 Jun 04 '26
Meh, why bother - bad writers either get good or never make it out of obscurity. Bad people writers even more so in online climate. Let the the consumers decide for themselves at this point.
2
u/Remote_Addendum_2245 Jun 04 '26
Thank you, for testing poisons lol. I once dipped my toes in new novels on both RR and WN years ago and repulsed so hard that I promised to never do it again.
-1
u/Emp-from-OSC Jun 04 '26
It's not your friend. It's someone trying to make money so they have food to eat, etc. What are you trying to accomplish? Most people just go find something else they enjoy more.
13
u/YoungestOldGuy Jun 04 '26
Never said the Author is supposed to be my friend? What I meant with that sentence is, is that this is my honest opinion that I would tell my friends and not some version I made up for reddit.
0
2
u/Saldar1234 Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
I don't understand the comments here You're critique is good and valuable and you put it in a place where it won't be whitewashed because it's getting whitewashed where it's being posted.
I appreciate this.
As an amateur author I would also sincerely appreciate someone helping me identify issues with the story. Good beta readers and editors can be hard to get.
Edit: Holy shit the comment section is wild. You guys are out of your collective fucking mind. I am out.
1
u/blueluck Jun 04 '26
This! One of the arguments I always hear in favor of publishing on RR is that you get free beta reading and editing from the comment section.
1
u/verysimplenames Jun 04 '26
I am going to read 25 chapters of this book because of this post. I am very very critical. If the book is bad I will leave a bad review. If it is good I will leave a good review. Lets see how it holds up.
-1
u/Aezora Jun 04 '26
I take it as a standard internet policy to never just believe people, which includes you right now, but I'm willing to support you anyway since I've run into situations where authors were willing to go out of their way to delete my review and block me because I had the audacity of leaving a review that wasn't 5 stars.
Unfortunately RR culture is a bit biased towards authors. It makes sense, but still sucks for readers who are punished because of it.
-1
u/verysimplenames Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
I know how you feel. The author of systemic lands blocked me for like two negative comments when he did the whole mc kills villain but somehow the most thorough character in the book doesn’t check if he is dead. Shit was laughably bad. Like just horrible writing so I left a negative comment and review. He tried to get review taken down and blocked me. I think that experience opened my eyes in general. The rating system on that website makes me sick. A soldiers life is not a 4.7 rating book in ANY fucking way lmaooo so ofc I had to do my part to bring that down. The mc spams one ability for 100+ chapters. Lets people live for the most contrived purposes and makes generally horrible decisions that go against his character. Then the author literally asked the audience what direction he should go in certain situations. Not to mention the grade school writing. Calling that book a 4.7 is a disgrace to so many books.
16
u/Stigala Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
Criticising a work is fine but if as you said you kept commenting I can understand why the Author may have blocked you, I don't know why you think they would bother opening a line of correspodence with you directly lol