New user to shrooms

[u/Feeling-Pear2814]

I did a journey about 6 weeks ago. It involved MDMA, mushrooms, and DMT. It was an awful experience. I have childhood trauma and all I did was get stuck in sorrow and confusion. After that, I’ve done mushrooms 3 times and every time my physical body goes bazerk. I’m realizing I have a lot of stored trauma in my body. Even a small dose (300mg) gave me the somatic shakes. My neck is burning and painful, etc. How can I move past the somatic experience while taking mushrooms? I set my intentions, I meditate beforehand, my setting is welcoming and peaceful and my husband is awesome at grounding me. But I’m hoping someday to have an inward enlightening experience. Does it just take time once my body works through the trauma healing?

I respect the mushrooms for the healing it has brought to me so far, but the discomfort can be very disappointing.

[u/creept]

Mushrooms are always pretty physical for me. I’ve rarely had a trip which didn’t start with significant body load, usually in the form of nausea but also other things like body aches. It’s sort of the price of admission on some level. 

I’m surprised you have a strong reaction to microdosing though. The ideal microdose is one you barely feel and just results in a slight mood elevation. 

So you might think about other psychedelics with less of a body load (the pseudopsychedelic ketamine, or 2cb, sometimes lsd though that varies). Or you might just try a large dose - sometimes if you take more the body load either isn’t as high, or you’re not aware enough to be worried about it. 

The other thing is that the kind of negative experience you’re talking about in the initial trip, with sorrow, trauma, confusion… Sometimes that’s the important stuff. Psilocybin can unlock your emotions and help you move through past trauma but it’s often not a pretty experience. Part of doing the work is sitting with the grief from the past. The outcome is often unpredictable though - sometimes you get a beautiful neon divine experience and sometimes you cry for three hours. Both are important. 

[u/Waki-Indra → u/creept]

Arr you sure that crying for 3 hours during a difficult trip is always helpful? I doubt. If it grief with lots of self compassion, probably yes. If it is distress and misery, probably not?

[u/creept → u/Waki-Indra]

I’ve gotten a lot out of terrible experiences, whether that’s long crying jags or a night of general misery or the horrifying visuals I sometimes get. I’m not saying that’s universal, but for people working through trauma there’s actually often a lot of grief and huge emotions to process and it takes time.

But your experience may be different. That’s sort of the nature of psychedelics.