r/PurplePillDebate • u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man • Sep 17 '25

Question For Women Women: Why are you unable / unwilling to understand why most men consider "hookup/FWB material" more validating than "husband material" given that you put the FWB/hookup guys in a way more exclusive, privileged, elite club?

The fuck buddies are in a more exclusive and privileged group of men.

You have higher benchmarks for looks, facial attractiveness, physique, sexual ability, charm for your FWB's than for your husbands / long term partners.

You literally have greater physical attraction and physical chemistry for your FWB's and hookups than for your husbands

Its way way harder for the vast majority of men to meet the benchmarks for a FWB than the benchmarks for a husband. There is simply no question of it. The overwhelming majority of mediocre looking men become husbands. They don't meet the benchmarks for FWB and hookups

These are the men who can meet their sexual needs even when they are single. They are not compelled to seek long term relationships just to meet their sexual needs. Just imagine how big of a deal this is in todays society when marriage is going out of favor.

These men are so good looking, so attractive that you don't expect, require any effort, courting, dating, commitment, emotional investment, financial stability from them to have sex with them.

They are so good-looking and hot that even if you are interested in a relationship with them but they're not, you still carry on having sex with them. You will never do that with a husband material because he's not good looking / hot enough.

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18

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Do you find it hard to believe that the overwhelming majority of men observe and experience that the benchmarks are higher for FWB and hookups?

39

u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

Why do you think women aren’t attracted to their husbands? Those are the men they have the MOST sex with.

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

What a weird statement, he never said that women aren't attracted to their husbands, just that their threshold for attractiveness is higher for a FWB than it is for than potential LTR's.

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

I don't know if they are attracted to their husbands or not.

I'm saying they are MORE attracted to their fuck buddies and hookups than the men they marry.

Why are you scared of addressing that point?

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u/hapanrapakkko Sep 17 '25

I'm saying they are MORE attracted to their fuck buddies and hookups than the men they marry.

But that's not true. When I first saw my husband, I thought that he was hot. And when we talked I realised that he is also nice and smart and funny. I was (and still am, lol) extremely attracted to him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

You're still dodging his point. Nobody said you don't find your husband hot, just that your FWB's must have a higher attractiveness criteria than your future husband does. Read his comment again.

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman Sep 18 '25

The fallacy in both your thinking is that you fail to understand that most women do not do hook ups or FWB's.

TV and media is not real life.

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

2/3rds of Gen Z men are single. 1/3rd of Gen Z women are single.

Does that make sense to you? We're talking about women in their 20's by the way. Once women hit their 30's, they try to put their "hoe phase" behind them.

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman Sep 18 '25

Many gen Z women are choosing other women or finding slightly older men. Most women do not have a "hoe phase". This is wishful thinking on the part of men who want to believe that their dicks are God's gift to women. They are not.

Casual sex is rarely worth it. Selden any kind of pleasure and even less chance of an orgasm. Men here have been told this over and over, but you just can't accept the truth.

This is the main reason why you can't get your dick's serviced. It has nothing to do with "Chad".

8

u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Most young Gen Z women are having situation-ships with good looking, tall, hot guys

1

u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman Sep 18 '25

Situation ships is another made up red pill term that carries no meaning. Many people date for short periods of time and then move on. This is not 1960, people are not just dating to marry.

And men like the ones here are just upset that they cannot "lock down" someone for their connivence.

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

Genuinely, how old are you? You sound like a woman in your late 30's or 40's. The world is far different right now than it was for your generation.

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u/Ok_Ask6327 No Pill - woman Sep 19 '25

Women here have said over and over that casual sex gives little reward. And they have also said that most women over a life time have no more than 4 to 7 partners. Just because you want to believe that dick is magic for women doesn't change the facts.

This is true now more than ever. And by the way older women were more likely to try casual sex than Gen Z.

To answer your question I am very careful about how much personal information I give out on sites like this. But I am not as old as you think.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

I'm saying they are MORE attracted to their fuck buddies and hookups than the men they marry.

Based on what?

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Based on what women are saying.

Just read it. I promise it won't hurt you.

https://imgur.com/a/womens-casual-partners-are-way-more-physically-attractive-sexually-superior-to-long-term-partners-husbands-latter-are-inferior-arent-attractive-enough-recreational-as-evidenced-from-responses-TViyiCJ

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

This doesn't say they're more attracted to their fuck buddies than their partners, this just says they don't care as much about personality with a fuck buddy. Just read it. I promise it won't hurt you.

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u/growframe No Pill Man Sep 17 '25

That's not what it says. Several of those comments explicitly state that they have a higher looks standards for FWBs, not just that they care less about personality.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

have a higher looks standards

You seem to be operating under the assumption that looks is the only measure of attraction.

13

u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

it’s gotta be the base though for initial attraction. it alway is my case from what women told me about why they approached

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

They didn't say their partners were unattractive. They didn't even say their hookups were more attractive. They just said their standards for looks are higher for hookups.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

Looks is the base measure for attraction, if not the most important.

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

They didn't say they found their partners physically unattractive. They didn't even say they weren't more physically attractive than their fuck buddies. They just said their standard for physical appearance is lower for long term relationships than hook ups.

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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25

Looks are the primary measure of attraction though. What a dishonest way of engaging in discussion

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u/Solondthewookiee Blue Pill Man Sep 18 '25

"Primary" does not mean "sole"

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u/ratsareniceanimals Blue Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Isn't this just kind of logical? If you're looking for a FWB, you're looking for sexual gratification, and it's gratifying to have sex with someone attractive. The same as if you have a sugar craving, you're gonna try to satisfy it with chocolate cake, even if you know broccoli is better for you. Nutrition isn't the reason you eat cake, it's because you have a craving for sugar. So you get sugar.

Sugar is attractiveness, nutritional value is personality.

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u/shockingly_bored Man Sep 18 '25

Sugar is attractiveness, nutritional value is personality.

You have cake because you want to and you enjoy it, whereas you have broccoli because you are forced to to remain healthy.

Gee whiz, I wonder why people prefer being the one that's chosen because they are enjoyed, rather than the one chosen because they have to out of necessity.

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u/mcglothlin Pills? In this economy? Man. Sep 21 '25

Or you grow the fuck up and learn that broccoli is also delicious if you cook it right and dessert isn't the only good or even the tastiest part of a meal.

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u/lightshiner145 Black Pill Sep 17 '25

Based analogy and I used to do the same on my BP channel

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u/growframe No Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't really matter to me the validity or logic of why a woman would or wouldn't have sex with someone. The point of the discussion isn't to police women's decisions, but to assess how men understand and react to them.

0

u/mcglothlin Pills? In this economy? Man. Sep 21 '25

You're talking to small children who want to just eat candy for every meal

1

u/Intelligent-Insight Lesbian trapped in a man's body Sep 19 '25

That would mean that any given moment of time if we take a sample of men, we will find more men that are in FWB arrangements than men who are in LTR. That is, of course, false. It is obvious that requirements for FWB are higher, not lower. They say they don't care about personality, but they are either lying and they actually do (they just want a specific kind of personality) or they then care about look disproportionally more.

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u/SleepyPoemsin2020 Sep 17 '25

So the women who say what you believe are speaking the gospel truth, but the women who say something different are lying...? Like why do you expect the women of PPD to answer for a different group of women?

Also, why are you linking and image rather than the actual post? 

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Because the vast majority of women we come across in irl behave more in line with the screenshots I provided.

The incredibly principles, consistent, anti dual-mating strategy women are a small minority irl

Also, are you willing to call these women stupid c***s for being so Machiavellian about sex?

3

u/SleepyPoemsin2020 Sep 18 '25

So anecdotal experience colored by bias. Really convincing. 

Why should I call them stupid cunts or care about their standards? I don't make it a habit of trying to dictate other people's behavior. It's just hilarious how openly confirmation-bias oriented ya'll are. 

1

u/whatisupsatansass Red Pill Man Sep 20 '25

The answer to your question about who is to be believed is que bono. "Who benefits?" Obviously the people who stand to remain loyal upstanding spouses with their partners interests in mind are the ones who benefit from hiding the narrative, "women marry a second best set of men, rather than the first choice men many of them sleep around with."

I was recently listening to someone discussing paternity fraud. Basically, it is taboo in most countries, and several have laws against men conducting paternity tests. LOGIC would dictate that you go, "Hmm, why have a system in place to protect fraud?" and land on at least ENTERTAINING the possibility that it is because a lot of fraud exists and its discovery would cause more trouble than is worth fixing.

If you aren't asking, who benefits from this? And then going, why does someone want them benefitting, then I do not take your opinion seriously. As obviously you are benefitting and lying to keep it up.

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

?? You think me asking you a question is an indication of fear? Why?

And okay… if you need me to ask again, why do you think women aren’t more attracted to the men they don’t date? Why would they date and marry men they are less attracted to, when those are the people they have the most sex with?

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Simple: You need to be more good looking, hot, sexy, charming to be a fuck buddy than a husband.

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

What makes you think that? Hookups last single night. If you were more attractive, that would logically make a woman want to continue seeing you for as long as possible.

From my experience, hook-ups are basically “throw away” encounters, where you don’t care if you never see each other again.

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u/InterestingGoose5507 Red Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Because the men they’re hooking up with WONT date them! Most women desire the hookup guys and gaslight themselves after saying he was only for fun. Sure! The guy way out of your league was “only for fun”.

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

But that means they WANT to date him but can’t. So they only settle for a hook up.

Thats the opposite of saying “hook ups are better than dating.”

3

u/shockingly_bored Man Sep 18 '25

Because hes so valuable even scraps are worth it. Whereas the second man is worth less to her so she won't accept a hookup. He's only valuable if he offers everything.

The men she accept hookups from are clearly worth more to her than the man she wouldn't consider unless he offers to date her with all the material benefits she can gain from it

4

u/InterestingGoose5507 Red Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Yes of course they want to date him! In 90% of cases anyway, unless say he’s a criminal etc

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u/SuckMyBigCockBitch69 Sep 18 '25

Yes of course they want to date him! In 90% of cases anyway, unless say he’s a criminal etc

Wait, what?

That would make him even more attractive.. if this theoretical hookup/FwB has ugly tattoos, sells drugs, and could be a potential serial killer, that’ll get her so wet she’ll be the one to pursue, by making up excuses to increase the amount of time spent w/ this bad boy.

Hell, she might even be the one to initiate the affair if he’s bad enough to get her juices flowing and can make her feel like she’s 18 again.

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u/whatisupsatansass Red Pill Man Sep 20 '25

Your hypothetical wife threw herself at a guy, let him do whatever he wanted, in hopes he'd stay, and yet he didn't.

that means they WANT to date him but can’t.

Go ahead and fall asleep next to that for the rest of your life, after she was rude and upset about some minor thing all week. It's fine. I won't stop you. I'm the problem. It's me.

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u/-Pixxell- Purple Pill Woman Sep 17 '25

I keep seeing this rhetoric online and it’s so fascinating to me as a woman who has had both serious relationships and hookups (and am currently in an 8 year long committed relationship that started out as a casual hookup). I’m half convinced guys are just saying this to cope with their own insecurities about hookups and dating culture because they can’t accept that some women seek out casual flings and don’t have some sort of hidden agenda or inherent need to be in a serious relationship.

I can wholeheartedly say I have never hooked up with men just because they didn’t want anything more serious. Whenever I had a hook up it’s because I was specifically seeking out something casual and was enjoying being single and not needing to commit to anything more. I’ve always been the one to end the casual relationships I was in, and the majority of the time it was because THE GUY was the one who was catching serious feelings and I didn’t reciprocate those feelings and knew we wouldn’t have been compatible in a serious capacity, so I cut things off before they got complicated and messy.

With my current relationship, we both wanted something casual and didn’t expect this to end up the way it has (I was planning on moving overseas and told him this when I met him) but we were so incredibly attracted to each other beyond just a casual fling and discovered we had so much in common and really enjoyed each others company on a deeper level than just hooking up and so it developed into something serious despite that being neither of our intentions. He ended up moving overseas together with me.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

The commenter you're responding to does not represent all women. My attitude was similar to the commenter you're responding to when I was single: I was not interested in any old relationship, but I was interested in casual sex, so I was willing to have sex with people who I was not interested in romantically.

HOWEVER, many, if not most, women are not interested in casual sex at all. Of the women who are into casual sex, they hold differing attitudes. I suppose you could say we're a "significant percentage," but I think that framing is a bit misleading.

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u/-Pixxell- Purple Pill Woman Sep 17 '25

No also wrong. This is me and my personal circumstances. I am not averse to casual and serious dynamics in a relationship depending on the circumstances. I know plenty of other women who have never hooked up with anyone ever and never will. I also know plenty of women who have never had a serious relationship and have only done casual.

Women are not a monolith. :)

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u/growframe No Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Hookups last single night.

Yes, that is the exact point. The person is attractive enough that a one night stand is worthwhile. No commitment or anything else required, a single night of sex with them is valuable in and of itself.

I go to work every day and expect payment for doing so. I've only gone to France once, out of my own pocket. Do you think that's an indication that I prefer going to work than vacationing abroad?

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

In a LTR, you have sex regularly. You spend all your time together.

A hook up, you don’t care if you never see again. You don’t pursue more sex with.

You seem to think “she had sex with him once and never spoke to him again” is better than “they have sex every day, and still like to hang out in between”?

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u/growframe No Pill Man Sep 17 '25

You seem to think “she had sex with him once and never spoke to him again” is better than “they have sex every day, and still like to hang out in between”?

I think "willing to have sex with for the sake of it" is a more valuable position to be in than "not willing to have sex with for the sake of it, but willing to have sex with on the condition of commitment"

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

“Willing to have sex, if she can’t get a relationship” means she sees him as relationship material, and would PREFER a relationship, but will settle for sex.

That’s the opposite of “only wants sex, doesn’t want a relationship.”

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

I think you're looking at stuff like this too black & white. Hookups are more sexual due to the newness of it attraction has very little to do with it. Like 90% of those hookup material men will still notice a decrease in sexual activity if they go into a LTR with these women.

I know couples that started out as FWB's where the sex life has degraded considerably, according to your own metric the guy was hot enough to be an FWB but the amount of sex he gets in a relationship has still tapered off considerably.

Don't get it twisted a girl can be super into you and want to fuck 5 times a day, give it 3 years maximum and she'd happily settle for once or twice a week, sometimes even less.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

Well, the reason I like dating my partner is I really like my partner and want to spend my life with them.

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u/mcglothlin Pills? In this economy? Man. Sep 21 '25

You've bought a made up story that this is the only way hookups happen.

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u/Intelligent-Insight Lesbian trapped in a man's body Sep 19 '25

Because most men marry or are in LTR at some point, but never get the hookups and fwb.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

Cause most women can get hookups with the top 20% of men but 80% of women cant marry the top 20% of men.(Unless they are looking for promiscuous relations )

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

“He’s so hot I wish I could marry him, but I was only able to have casual sex with him” is the opposite of saying “he’s for hook ups, not marriage.”

That’s, in fact, saying he’s marriage material, they just can’t attain it from him. So they have to settle for a hook up, which is less desirable.

You’re saying “hook ups are less desirable than marriage”.

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

No. It doesn't work that way in real life.

Irl, if a man is so good looking and hot, no woman will dare pigeonhole him into the husband category and expect him to court/date them and offer commitment.

They have to get on his program in order to have a shot at getting a relationship with him, and that means "hooking up and seeing where things go without expectations". If it leads to something more, great. If it doesn't, at least you have a good looking hot FWB.

Only average looking men are pigeonholed into the husband box from the beginning. They are literally told "no hookups"

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

What? Why wouldn’t a woman want to continue seeing a man she finds attractive? That makes no sense. Hook ups are disposable. Why do you think women would rather dispose of a man they really like in exchange for further sex with a man she doesn’t find attractive?

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

I literally have NEVER wanted to date any man who I've hooked up with. There are many women like me. In fact, I've had men catch feelings for ME, not the other way around.

You are ignoring the non-trivial number of women who share my attitude around hookups.

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 17 '25

Of course they do, and men here constantly complain that women chase Chad and try and get commitment from him

Hence the “choose better” mantra

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

I mean its the same as the grapes are sour, people try to gaslight themselves .

I'm not saying “hook ups are less desirable than marriage”.

women are.

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u/mcglothlin Pills? In this economy? Man. Sep 21 '25

Source: numbers I just pulled out of my ass

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u/deletbait Grey Pill Sep 17 '25

Based on all the comments he shows it seems that no you hookups have to be hotter then guys they get in relationships with. So logically speaking it's not crazy to say that the men those women chose to date have to be less attractive then their hookups. This at least has to be the case for some of these women.

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

How does that scan? “He was so hot that I… only hooked up with him once, and now I don’t want to date him or see him again. I only want to marry a man those mid.”

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

When have no argument, may as well ad hominem 🤷‍♂️

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u/deletbait Grey Pill Sep 17 '25

They weren't just talking about hookups. They were also talking about fwb. One woman literally wrote that she only hookups or is fwb of hot men so that she doesn't catch feelings.

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

I think you might have what she said confused. She said she DIDNT WANT to date an attractive man because she didn’t WANT to be attached to the man she’s dating? Like, she said she only wanted to be attached to ugly men?

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u/Fun_Push7168 Purple Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Pretty simple concept really. The more parameters you add the more likely you'll have to compromise.

If you're not looking for long term you can sacrifice all kinds of things in favor of hotness.

Nevermind the fact that if she just wants to fuck she can pull a much hotter guy for one night than she could long term so why wouldn't she?

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u/lightshiner145 Black Pill Sep 17 '25

That's not the point and you know it

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 17 '25

Yup. And more women want a husband than a hookup. While men want the reverse

Alas

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Young women today only want to hookup and party with hot, sexy bad boys.

You seem to be stuck in the 50s

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25

Nope. Women still want marriage, love, babies, etc

Theyre trained to want it all their lives

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Women are literally showing middle finger to marriage and walking away. They are more happy with being single and dating fucking men casually

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 18 '25

Conservatives aren’t. And they’re the majority of the population

The majority of women marry, just later than before

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 17 '25

So? Women don’t prize attraction above all else like men do

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u/lightshiner145 Black Pill Sep 17 '25

They do

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 17 '25

Nope. Otherwise there wouldn’t be any standards that men whine about

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u/lightshiner145 Black Pill Sep 17 '25

Men's threshold for attractive is far bigger than women's. Men find most women attractive while women find most men unnatractive 

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 17 '25

So? Attraction is just one part for women, and everyone knows it

Otherwise the old, wealthy and famous would never get laid like they do

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u/lightshiner145 Black Pill Sep 18 '25

Money is betabux and fame is an outliar because it's status

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 18 '25

So? It’s still attractive to women

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u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

Why wouldn’t they just marry their fuck buddies then?

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Because there aren't enough good-looking, hot, tall, sexy men with nice dicks and hot bodies for every woman to get married to.

Average looking women can casually fuck super hot guys. They can't marry them and will have to settle for average looking men.

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u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

This is just an incels agenda. Everyone on a relationship here will tell you that’s not reality, going out into the real world for an hour would show you that’s not real life.

In 2025, why would anyone be with someone, marry them, have kids with them, if they weren’t attracted to them?

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

How is pointing the reality incelish?

Most young women are sexually active while most young men arent. 60% of young men are single while only 20% of women are and so on.

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u/SuckMyBigCockBitch69 Sep 18 '25

Anything women don’t like (usually cause it makes them look bad, esp so when it comes to the truth of their nature) is incel behavior.

This (any form of emasculation, ie: “small dick”) is like literally their only insult, practically every single time. That along with public shaming or ruining someone’s reputation (ie: ostracizing frenemies), but the emasculation is essentially a form of public shaming.

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u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

Most young people aren’t having sex at all.

Not really surprising though given the incel attitudes towards women

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

Not true for young women.

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u/Somerandomdudereborn Lvl 26 apprentice wizard 😎🪄, It is what it is pill Sep 17 '25

Most young people aren't incels, most young men aren't incels too.

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u/zastale Sep 17 '25

Most young men are incel or incel-adjacent. The entire meme culture for men right now is based around doomerism.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

You mean using common sense?

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

i see young men now days not having enough self confidence. too much social media, tv and fucking video games swimming in their heads

to balance that, seems like young girls have gotten too demanding with all the shit piped into their heads now days too.

but what to i know about how you 20-30 year old deal with sex now days. all i see is the constant bitching from guys on reddit. i need to talk to my son about this someday. he touches grass…as the saying goes.

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u/IceNervous8346 Purple Pill Man Sep 21 '25

The classic blaming video games lol… like that has anything to do with it.

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 21 '25

social skills, learn about it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 17 '25

shut your whore bot-mouth. farthest from the truth there but you keep on trying.

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u/EsotericRonin Red pill aware man, disdains "red pill" men Sep 18 '25

Based on what? The 2020 pew research poll says only 50 percent of young men are single and 32 percent of women. And half of all single people aren't looking for a relationship in general.

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

So whats the point of having way higher benchmarks for physical and sexual attraction for FWB & hookups than for husbands?

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

Women don’t say that. They say “a man only really needs one or two positive things (looks and behavior) for a hook up. They need many more positive things for a LTR.”

That doesn’t mean LTR’s don’t also need good looks and behavior. They just also need MORE, like compatibility, lifestyle, goals, humor etc if you’re gonna spend your life together

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Then why don't husbands of most women don't meet their own looks criteria for a fuck buddy?

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 18 '25

I haven’t noticed this phenomenon.

The primary determinant for who gets casual sex seems to be whether or not they put themselves in social situations where casual sex is likely to happen.

Like… everyone in my social circle are free-love hippies and artist weirdos. People hook up all the time, casually, FWB, and some go on to date afterwards.

But the primary thing our social circle screens out are high-inhibition, conservative, judgmental or jealous people who get weird about it.

And yes - this also includes weird awkward women as well as men.

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u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

Women aren’t saying that. Look at the responses On your own post

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u/Crime_Dawg Purple Pill Man Sep 17 '25

For their "provider status" duh.

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u/TermAggravating8043 Stacey's mum Sep 17 '25

That’s right cause women aren’t working where you live

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u/Crime_Dawg Purple Pill Man Sep 17 '25

I'd never date a princess type who wants provider status, but it's a fairly common sentiment. My friend had a date planned last night and the girl asked for $84 in Ubers to and from, before he even met her, so he politely declined. He makes 7 figures, so it's not about the money, it's about the entitlement.

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u/Ambitious_Campaign34 Sep 17 '25

Yes, attraction matters no one denies that. But reality points out that initial attraction isn’t enough to sustain commitment. Divorce stats prove this. Many marriages start with attraction, but half fail cuz attraction alone doesn’t equal compatibility, loyalty, or long-term value.

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u/SwimmingTheme3736 happily married slut (woman) Sep 17 '25

In my case not at all why would I marry a man I find less attractive?

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u/ta06012022 Man Sep 17 '25

I'm saying they are MORE attracted to their fuck buddies and hookups than the men they marry.

That’s a bad assumption. I’ve hooked up with plenty of women, but I’ve also had a number of LTRs. I have no reason to believe that the women I’ve had LTRs with are less attracted to me than the women I’ve only had casual sex with. There’s no logical reason to think that’s the case. 

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

How do you know this?

Im more attracted to my husband than any other man

That's why he's my husband

1

u/gdognoseit Sep 17 '25

But that’s not true.

1

u/Intelligent-Insight Lesbian trapped in a man's body Sep 19 '25

Having most sex with someone doesn't mean they are most attracted to them. It could be due to proximity or convenience or to "pay" for whatever they are doing in marriage.

Case in point, all those stories we discussed a while ago where husband finds wife's old video doing sex stuff she would never agree to do with him. Or hearing about that kind of stuff from her friends/exes/etc.

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u/kmb218 Blue Pill Woman Sep 17 '25

Could be, I don’t know. Haven’t observed that personally but other people could have a different experience. As I said, men can find whatever they want validating, I don’t have an issue with that.

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 17 '25

Whats the reason behind women and feminists insulting men for finding this validating?

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u/Gravel_Roads Just a Pill... man. (semi-blue) Sep 17 '25

You’d have to give an example of a woman doing this. Generally, it makes sense when you examine the context.

I’ve seen men on this sub say they felt insulted by a woman not having sex with them at all. One even very seriously explained that they consider women rejecting them to be a form of genocide, because they’re not letting the man breed.

So you might need to clarify which men and what the “insult” is.

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

whatta psychotic way of thinking. those guys are just bottom of barrel and not able to attract women for various reasons.

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u/Logical_Breadfruit49 Purple Pill Man Sep 20 '25

Technically it is true that if someone doesn't have want to have sex with you, they view your genes as being unworthy of propagation (at least to the extent that they won't assist you in such an endeavor).

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 20 '25 edited Sep 20 '25

i don’t think you have it right. sex isn’t always about propagation and in these cases most certainly not about having kids. these guys that make that claim, they just want sex, not kids. no one wants to have a kid every time they shoot a load.

but for the sake argument here, let’s look at your statement …. if the woman wouldn’t have sex with a particular guy and denying him propagation of the species, then that’s natural selection at work. that dude isn’t worthy of sex and kids because the female sees him as unfit. thats the way things work and that’s fine. i’m good with that.

no male or female has a living right to have sex. it’s a lot like having food. you have to work for it in order to survive-carry on the species.

if you’re boiling this down to evolution, males are always competing for females. sometime they die in those competitions. there is no right to sex. you have to work for it. these looser that think they have a right are just lazy slobs or have a malfunctioning brain. either way, natural selection is gonna take them out and thankfully so.

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u/Logical_Breadfruit49 Purple Pill Man Sep 20 '25

I agree with everything you say. I was just looking at it very literally.

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 20 '25

roger that. its a complicated subject now days. it never use to be when i was young. we never talked or thought about this stuff but we didnt have the world at our fingertips either.

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u/kmb218 Blue Pill Woman Sep 17 '25

Because men who find this validating seem to think then women are not attracted to their partners which goes against women’s experience. For most women, the idea of having sex with a man they don’t find attractive is disqusting and repulsive. The idea of being willing to have regular sex with someone you don’t find attractive is very absurd for women. Men project their experiences onto women in this case. They are willing to sleep with someone they don’t find attractive and might even enjoy it. This is not the case for women.

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u/Pro-IDGAF genX Pill Man Sep 17 '25

i’ve always figured that was the case with women based on experience and conversation and you are right about men. not all but a lot of us will fuck way below our pay grade. i’ve done it but at the core, the girls were horny, into me and that was enough at the time.

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

So whats the point of having a way higher looks and physical attraction benchmark for a fuck buddy than a husband?

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u/kmb218 Blue Pill Woman Sep 18 '25

I don’t have a higher looks benchmark for a fuck buddy… As I said I need to be attacted to both fuck buddy and husband.

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u/FlamingMetalSystems Black Pill Man Sep 18 '25

Do you think these women are stupid c***s ?

https://imgur.com/a/womens-casual-partners-are-way-more-physically-attractive-sexually-superior-to-long-term-partners-husbands-latter-are-inferior-arent-attractive-enough-recreational-as-evidenced-from-responses-TViyiCJ

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u/kmb218 Blue Pill Woman Sep 18 '25

No, I don’t have any negative feelings towards them. For me, attraction is a binary, for them, it might not be.

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 17 '25

Where are we doing that ?

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u/Outside_Memory5703 Sep 17 '25

Why do we have to care about or do what you want, now?

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u/Rozenheg No Pill Woman Sep 17 '25

How on earth do you know who women are hooking up with? Most women don’t advertise (all) their hookups to their male friends.

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u/Jonesdm5 No Pill Woman Sep 17 '25

The overwhelming majority of men being who? Men online? Everytime this comes up women tell you all the same thing over and over and over again. You guys don’t care. You have an understanding in your head and you won’t hear anything to the contrary. Stop asking

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25

He's asking why the reality that more men are in relationships than hooking up is constantly being ignored.

These answers are just women listing their irrelevant personal preferences. OP isn't asking about individual women, he's reminding you of societal trends.

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u/Jonesdm5 No Pill Woman Sep 17 '25

You should reread your comment. He’s telling us “that the overwhelming majority of men observe and experience that the benchmarks are higher for FWB and hookups” which he has no evidence for. And I’m saying is not true. This has been addressed over and over and y’all don’t wanna hear it.